sdbritguy

I actually live in La Jolla (close to UCSD). It is very nice but as you say, very expensive.

confusedenglishrose

God help you. Having lived in both countries I think your culture shock is going to be immense, possibly irretrievable. But that is just my opinion. SD is great but it is not Italy and certainly not Milan. And as great as it is after nearly 10 years here I am just biding my time. Only another few months

confusedenglishrose

"It is strange as people think you move over here and you holiday in florida, miami, las vegas on your weekends ...when as mentioned in earlier posts you just dont have the time - work comes first and is taken very seriosuly. Now dont get me wrong I take my work seriously too but I believe in balance and I just dont feel I have this here at all."

Its so true. there have been other threads on this. In the USA the mentality seems to be to live to work. Whereas, in Europe work to live is much more common. Mind you, I always say that if Americans spent more time actually working they could accomplish far more. I call it the " I talk a good job of work" syndrome. Every American you ever meet tells you they work 10 + hours a day, possibly many do? Don't you just love at will employment laws!! But how much of it is actually work? I think they mean that they spend 10+ hours a day at a place of work, playing the game, being visible at the workplace so the boss sees them there, so they can say they have been to work.

I understand the catch 22, in the sense that if you accomplish your work in 8 hours or less, the mentality here is to then just heap more work on to your plate. The problem is a total attitude change is needed. Never going to happen so I say exit stage left ------------------->

Pistolpete2

Then I'm no help am I?

sallysimmons

So true! We sometimes go up to the beaches in Connecticut but you can only go to most of them in the off-season because they charge a fortune for non-residents to get in otherwise. There are a few state beaches, but those are jam-packed. It was a real shock to me to see how much of the coastline here is closed off to the average person.

Last weekend we had a lovely winter walk on a beach in Greenwich - one that we can't get into during the nice weather. We went on Saturday but we noticed a new sign stating that even in the off-season, Sundays are now "restricted access."

Married2abrit

"I would be interesting in learning if this changes depending on which state you live in? we are in New jersey and I have thought about moving south e.g carolinas but I dont want to keep moving around the country trying to find happiness if its the same everywhere?"


Well, both Carolinas are "right to work" as well as "at will" states. Every paper you will sign for employment will state on the bottom "this does not constitute a contract of employment". South Carolina's unemployment rate is currently around 10%. I have a Master's degree and ten years of experience in my field (case worker for the disabled) and I am currently working in a shoe store part-time (usually only get 10 hours per week) for $7.50 per hour. It took me over a year to find that job (with no unemployment benefits)!! It's crazy. If you are liberal-minded (like my husband and me) you will be looked at as if you have 3 heads. Example: "How dare you support unions for workers' rights--that's not helpful for businesses". It goes on and on.

HumphreyC

I was actually quite impressed with Amtrak when I took it all the way from 5 mins away from my house to NYC. The major problem is that it is slow and the trains on my line look like something out of the seventies - but it works, you always get a seat and it has wifi access. They are upgrading my line so Boston will be less than a hour away but it would be nice if they could speed the thing up a notch.

Now I love Blighty and I have fond memories of the Scottish coastline (Lived in St Andrews for 4 years). However I will take the New England coastline over the British one. That probably isn't very socialist or patriotic of me, but there is a pretty serious weather issue. I did a charity run for cancer research this autumn down in Sandwich MA and the setting was beautiful, church spire through the trees, the marches and a large public beach over the boardwalk. Plus the NE coastline produces decent lobster. Hopefully going to Ogunquit next weekend.

sdbritguy

Lol.

nun

Agreed. I can understand the OP's issues, but they are due to his location and work. I've lived in Boston for 20 years and enjoy the place. It's like a less stressful London. Lots of things to do and good public transportation. NYC is a day trip and there's great places to visit in every direction. Also, London is only a few hours flight away and it's easy to go back to visit friends. But the biggest thing not having to constantly defend a left wing orientation at parties and social events and living in a state where social and workers rights and as important as those of the business community.

Now for the work. I'm an MA state employee so I get those "good benefits" that seem to be a target for the right wing. They are similar to what I remember as common in the UK. I get 3.5 weeks vacation and 2.5 weeks of holidays.

cosmicjunkie

I'm ready for the culture shock and I'm already aware of the inevitable clashes, but I'm going to take this risk because my heart tells me I must. If I don't like it I can always come back to Europe. I will not be chained to the USA. Like I mentioned earlier, I have been in Italy for 20 years, so it would be quite easy to return here if I wanted to. Italy is not as glamourous as it seems you know. There are REAL cultural differences here too which I have never been able to get fully used too. The wages are crap, unemployment and crime has soared big time. Milan is a very expensive, polluted and dirty city. Yes, there are beautiful places to see here in Italy if you have the money to go and see them. Most Italians live at home with their parents until they are 40 because they cannot afford to get a flat and live on their own! I am not happy here anymore! What's the point in me moving back to Britain for example? I have been away for too long plus the fact I have no family left! I don't feel I belong there anymore.....I'm am living the classic expat curse! I feel I don't belong anywhere, so at the end of the day, it makes no bloody difference where I live! When I get to the States, I'm going to learn to drive, go to college, learn Spanish and do all the things I've wanted to do for a long time. Therefore if everything goes tits up, I'll have a few more skills and a new experience under my belt. Life is an adventure...you just have to go with the flow!

johnh009

I lived in Toronto for 23 years and used to laugh when people in the UK asked me if I had seen the Rockies. Of course not, after the long Canadian winter, I wanted to spend my measily two weeks vacation on a beach in Mexico not somewhere even colder.

mekadag

Yes, I was saying that i am a professor at a university and I have tenure which means a permanent job which is 10 mths - the academic year good salary and time off in the summer if you want to teach during this time you receive pay. So for me this is much better than the UK where i was a lecturer. the 10 mths salary can be paid over 12 months. Also long holidays over christmas as the term starts at the end of jan.
mekala
southern california

bandrui

Hi Cosmic Junkie,
Interesting post. First of all, I agree with you that you must follow your heart. Sometimes we need to experience something entirely different from what we have become used to. I have spent some time in Milan on a few occasions and lived within the community (i.e. not as a tourist) and found it to be different than the tourist image (though I love all the handcarved counters in espresso bars and other things). Sometimes it is not about the place but the personal journey.
I have experienced the feeling of not belonging anywhere, because I have lived in quite a few places, and felt that I had been away too long too, but have come back to the fact that I belong in the UK and am moving back.
Like you said, go with the flow, follow your heart and you will end up where you are supposed to be.

cosmicjunkie

Hopefully!

sallysimmons

I agree with you. I think we have a tendency to project our own feelings on to other people. Just because I desperately want out of this country, that doesn't mean there aren't tons of very happy ex-pats here who love their lives and would never go back.

Don't let our negativity spoil your adventure. Good luck!