Originally Posted by Sugarmooma

Oy....pull yerself together matey...Essex girls don't blub.. just cuss a bit, drink a beer and just remember that eventually you will get back to where you need to be!


Hugs honey ..xx

Originally Posted by Cardienscarf

You're right. I was forgetting who I was for a minute. Feel better for a good blub though. Now it's time to pull myself up by my white shoe straps, pour myself a beer, turn the music up, throw my handbag into the middle of the living room carpet and dance round it for a while - avoiding the wet spot where the dog chundered.

Thank you xo

Originally Posted by Cardienscarf

You're right. I was forgetting who I was for a minute. Feel better for a good blub though. Now it's time to pull myself up by my white shoe straps, pour myself a beer, turn the music up, throw my handbag into the middle of the living room carpet and dance round it for a while - avoiding the wet spot where the dog chundered.

Thank you xo

Originally Posted by MissBetty

Ok I should be a workin but I just read through your thread so thought I'd chip in!

Well I am so in the same boat as you, I live in the tropics which is incredibly beautiful and everyone thinks I am mad to go home - hmmmm!!!

I work at a single officer station for 178 hours straight its well paid but knackering, due to the money every man and his dog wants my job but, like you, I have no one here and I'm very lonely! I go home to an empty house on my days off and most of my friends just fit me in when ever they have nothing better to do and their partners are away or working. The Aussies are not that friendly IMHO, I have made some friends who are great but my best friend here is a male South African - he's my evil twin and we get up to all sorts of mischief lol! Without him I'd be lost - seriously!

I read back through some of my old threads on here and I must have changed my mind a million times re storage/shipping etc, at one point I was selling my flat in the UK and putting my stuff into storage here. The flat sale fell through, I cried and I then I just had a "ta da!" moment and rang my Mum at 3 in the morning saying "take it off the market, I want to move back in!!!"

I first decided to leave about 18 months ago. I was supposed to return in Dec 2012 then March this year and now I finally have my flight booked for May 27th - at last!!! It took me ages to get here, planning, saving, worrying, crying and stressing but I've had a lot of laughs along the way too! You will get there mate, I promise you. I truly believe that fate always finds a way of taking a hand in things and you end up where you are meant to be. I had a bad bad break up 2 years ago and for ages I thought I was just running away. I stuck it out, got my citizenship and some money behind me and now, 2 years down the line, I see things with a lots more clarity and now I know for certain I am leaving for ME - no one else.

Hang on in there and if you ever feel lonely come on here for a chat, people on here are brilliant, so supportive and helpful and we can all relate to what everyone else is going through. Hope your dog is going be ok and wishing you lots of luck!

Originally Posted by Cardienscarf

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement. You make me feel like I'm not quite as mad.

So, Friday morning I walked into my pilates class and one of the women who I've become quite friendly with in the last couple of months (only been doing the same class with the same people for about 2 years) asked how my house sale was going etc. I gave her a brief run down of The Plan and she said, "Why don't you go now and leave the sale of your house to the realtor?" So now I have an addition to The Plan:

F. Go directly to England, do not dally.

This is by far and away my favourite (why didn't I think of it?) but - and of course there has to be a but...... if I leave my job while I still have a mortgage to pay it will eat into the money I am saving for the other side of the pond.

I hate having to be practical and sensible. I really want to say 'to hell with all of it' and go but I also don't want to go home broke. I'll have the money from the house sale but I don't want to touch that for living expenses.

Patience really is such a bitch. She is not invited to any of my parties. No jelly and ice cream for her.

Another thing I have to consider is my dog. She is nearly 13 and, until last year, was always in excellent health. But now she has advancing kidney disease I thought we were going to lose her in December but the vet pumped her full of fluids for 2 days to flush out her kidneys and hydrate her and she's been like a new dog. He said it was likely to be months rather than years before she became ill again and she's starting to turn her nose up at her food again which is really not a good sign. I love my dog and I don't ever want her to die and neither do I don't want to sit here waiting for her to die so I can make my move.

And another thing..... not wanting to be a complete and utter downer but this has become such a big part of my life and consideration about anything I do... some of you may know this and some not.... my eldest son's brother in law was killed in the Aurora theater shooting and it is just one thing after another for the family. Today we learned, not really to our surprise as the family has regular contact with the DA, that the DA is seeking the death penalty. My daughter in law sent me the timeline for all the motion deadlines, culminating in the trial starting on 3 Feb 2014 to last 4 months. It won't start then, that's almost a given. How can I leave them? I am a support for them, they know they can count on me. I know there are others who support them as well but after today I just don't know how I can walk away.

I skyped with my family this morning while they were having tea round at my nephew's new flat and I wanted to be there with them so badly. My niece arrived back after 10 years in France and Montreal and my emotions have been off the chart crazy wishing I could go now too.

I read MissBetty's Troppo thread and I have that same feeling of loneliness that so many others expressed. I live on my own, I am a sales rep so travel a lot which means I am in my car on my own, then I go to a hotel room on my own and I come home to being on my own again. I get on well with most of my customers but the amount of time I spend with them is a fraction of the time I spend in the car. Half the time I am driving across Wyoming or Nebraska or Kansas thinking "How the *&$k did I get here?!" Colorado is beautiful and I have seen some amazing things on my travels but I would rather be driving through Scotland or the Midlands or across the Downs.

And now my dog has just thrown up on the carpet. That is so not a good sign. And I'm a blubbering mess.

Originally Posted by WhoFan63

Miss Betty has already expressed the same sentiments as everyone else here would like to say, but she beat us to it. Hang in there love and just know that we'll be there for you, no matter what you decide, no matter what you are going through. We've all been there, are there, experienced the same emotions and in one way shape or form we've come through the other side. We've seen the light at the end of the tunnel - and it wasn't a train!!!!

Originally Posted by Cardienscarf

I am tempted! I was out last night with a group of Brits and one of them blurted "You must be crazy. I was there last year and it's over populated, no one speaks English any more, the weather is atrocious..." etc, etc. But he has a lovely American wife, they have oodles of dosh and travel all over the world doing fun stuff and he doesn't have any family left in the UK.

Someone came up with this idea on another thread, a guy called Shard, and I thought it was brilliant so I'm reposting it here and also my reply - gave me a moment!!!

Re: Home after 11 years.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shard Of course there are two types of Brits (especially expat-Brits) those who genuinely think Britain is going to the dogs or is a miserable place, and the rest of us who accept it has a few problems in isolated pockets, but is generally demi-paradise. Those in the latter category would not be so vulgar as to inflict that view on others.

I think it has a lot to do with one's "lot in life in Britain" some people do escape some unfortunate circumstances or benefit from a social mobility that they would be denied in Britain. But those whose circumstances are fortunate enough to begin with are far less likely genuinely denigrate the Britain.

My Reply
That is so true, you've really hit the nail on the head there.

My ex boss came to Oz 10 years ago, he's married with two kids. Paramedic wages are higher here if you work in remote locations (he does) and, at the time, house prices were low. He came from a council house in Oldham but now owns a 4 bed house with a pool and has a very nice lifestyle. He and his wife are definitely in the 'UK is a shithole' camp! They constantly post pictures of the beach on Facebook and updates of 'sitting in the pool drinking beer' etc etc etc

I don't have kids (by choice) so have a higher disposable income, I own a small property on the south coast, nothing flash but I like it I can work offshore in the UK and earn good wages. I am from a working class background same as he is but my circumstances are very different. I have a nice life here in Oz but an equally nice one in the UK. The UK holds more benefits for me IMO as I'd like to be near my family and I can work freelance as well, something that I can't do here as my qualifications aren't recognised.

My ex boss and another guy here (an ex UK copper who has FOUR kids!) have been giving me a really hard time re my move home. You know the usual - 'You're mad!', England's f*****', 'You'll be back', 'You're making a huge mistake' etc etc

Your post has made me realise why we see things so differently and will help me shrug off their comments even more so thank you! __________________

Originally Posted by MissBetty

When I moved over here nothing got in my way because I was doing it for love of a man (sigh). Now I'm doing it for myself and I seem to allow other's doubts and opinions to influence my own. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion and I'm not usually swayed off course so easily. There are dream stealers everywhere and I just need to shut them out.

Demi-paradise. That's where I'm heading!

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Britain is not crap.

Drinking beer in a pool in the outback might be fun for about a week.

Originally Posted by WhoFan63

Try an hour or two.. When you're not melting under the hot sun and no ozone layer, or swatting away millions of mozzies it soon becomes less of a paradise and more of a fight for survivial.

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

I was trying to be generous

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Britain is not crap.

Drinking beer in a pool in the outback might be fun for about a week.

Originally Posted by MissBetty

No it isn't crap at all. I find it so strange that a lot of the Poms I know here seem to want to put me down for wanting to return. And the Aussies? Well after 5 years of whinging Pom jibes and racist comments about 'bloody immigrants' so many of them seem to take it as a personal insult that I would rather live in my country than theirs - you just can't win either way lol! I'm just doing my own thing and I'm happy so not too bothered by it anymore, far too excited about getting home!

I have an old school friend, her hubby and kids visiting here atm, his family live in Sydney and they were telling me over lunch that they were thinking about immigrating here hence this holiday. I just smiled and wished them well, it might really work out for them it might not - who knows? Everyone has hopes and dreams and I don't feel the need to trample over theirs!