between two worlds

Haha well yes, Yorkshire people are well-known for being blunt!

I'm from the south where people are (or were) often very polite; I remember at college trying to plan something with two friends from very nice families, and we couldn't get anywhere because both kept saying, oh, whatever you prefer...no, whatever you want to do, back and forth!!!

Lucky you if you never experienced chilblains. Hard to describe....the involved foot or two or finger becomes very red, very sore, hurts and itches alternately...it's from getting cold feet o hands and then, yes, as Trotty siad, putting the two close to the fire..then they get cold again...etc etc..

Tina

sallysimmons

Honestly, the experience in North Carolina wasn't so much politeness - it was more a very forward form of friendliness that I think is difficult for Brits from any part of the country.

Northerners in the UK are very friendly but it's a different kind of friendliness. A waitress would never make a personal comment or try to spark conversation for example, unless you initiated the conversation. Nor would they say things like 'well you just make sure to have yourself a blessed day sweetie' as one did to me as I was leaving a diner. I could see how cheers might find that phony, but I genuinely don't think it is. I think that's how people are in some parts of the US. (Not in New York City!!)

bandrui

In 2009, my father's cousin (86-87 yo) drove me to all my Gt Grandfather's fields: his strawberry fields still had the same old tin work shack in the corner, saw the plum orchards, the asparagus fields right next to the abbey ruins in Evesham, the cottage where they used to live in Norton.
I have a photo of them standing under an oak tree by the strawberry fields and now have a photo of myself under the same oak tree.
It was really wonderful to walk in their footsteps.

Beedubya

Very well said Mallory!! I totally agree, Denise we will miss you.

sallysimmons

Oh that's amazing! How lucky you are to have all that living family history.

cheers

Who said she could tell you anything, you seem to know everything there is to know?

I thought I was directing that statement to an informed readership and they would know it was a general statement and didn't include all Americans.

The Brits on here know that the Americans have so many good qualities as well as flaws as do every people. Darn do I have to spell everything out?

trottytrue

DDL...You will be so missed one of the best and most helpful kind posters. Always willing to go that extra step to send information or keep us informed on what you are doing. Exactly what this formum was started for. So many have returned home and stopped posting I understand they have other things to do but you kept in touch and gave us a picture of the good and bad from home.

I am so sad that you are leaving. But I do understand.

bandrui

When I was a brand new poster on this thread I was very put off by DDL's know-it-all attitude about the UK but particularly by her very unkind remarks to any other poster who had had any negative experiences in the US, including Windsong who had gone through a nightmare experience there.

Mummy in the foothills

Feelings have been hurt before.
But to feel you can't have a good moan cause someone doesn't like the US getting a jab limits posting sometimes.

rebeccajo

Denise - I've read your posts for a long time, because you and your husband are living the life we want. We want to be in London. So I've followed your story for a long while now. I too enjoy your information, your posts about life in London, and your photographs.

I get confused by your reaction to some things. A while back, you were talking about how your standard of living was less in the UK than in the US. I was kind of taken back by this because in the same thread you were talking about having a meal somewhere with paintings on the ceilings (I think). Anyway, I asked some of my friends what "standard of living" meant to them, and they said it was what you earn and what you possess - that it has nothing to do with "quality of life". So I guess that's what you were talking about - I can be a bit concrete at times unfortunately.

Anyway, further on in the thread I made some comment about being "American enough" to wonder if I would be able to part with some of my possessions if we ever get to go over. You made an odd comment in the thread about "not all Americans are that way". I guess I thought that if you were talking about how your standard of living in the UK wasn't what it was in the US, it would be OK for me to talk about having tremors over giving up some of my "stuff".

This is what confuses me, at least. It's like it's not OK for us Americans to talk about some of our stereotypical-but-true faults or else you get upset. At least in my case, I was talking about myself making a move to the UK sans material possessions. Earlier you had been talking about yourself - did what I had to say make you uncomfortable? I mean, if I am talking about parting with my antiques in order to move to the UK, and you are talking about your standard of living being lower in the UK - is there something about that which brushes up against your psyche? Why did you bring up your standard of living, only to bark at me for admitting I'm "American enough" to wonder if I could sell all my stuff?

I think you are a nice lady, and have done some wonderful work around here. I appreciate much of what I've learned from you. But I wonder if you are having issues with having given up America for your life in the UK. Are there some people back home who think you are "un-American" for having left the country? Has somebody in the UK been nasty to you because you are American? I honestly can't think of any other reason for your edginess when it comes to discussions about America. As someone mentioned above, a lot of the native British in this thread made a mental disconnect a long time ago when it comes to America. And for me as an American, I made a mental disconnect with my country after I realized the cold-war mentality I was raised with was a myth. I KNOW there are other great nations out there; I think America can share the stage with them.

I don't know. I'm just putting this out there as something for you to think about, because apparently, it can't get any worse with you as far as BE is concerned. Maybe I can help, maybe I can't.

jasper123

Denise I can really only echo Mallorys words here as he put it so well, I wish I or someone on here could say something to make you stay but I can see this time you really have made the decision to leave,

Denise you indeed will be truly missed by the majority of people on here, its a crying shame that a few people seem to take pleasure in winding you up, whatever you say sometimes in your posts it seems that just a few people on here that seem to be Anti American want to attack you, I dont know why?
but then there is the majority of people on here that really love your posts, and your always great at coming up with all kinds of information to help people, your a gift that keeps on giving ------ but now because of a few you feel you have to leave,
Good luck Denise and Tony, its been really a pleasure and an honor knowing you, so sad to see you go
Take good care of yourselves and I wish you both good fortune and much happiness in your new life in England
Rodney.
PS I would love to have a nice cup of tea with you one day up in London

jasper123

Yes thats what I thought he meant too, that cheers American wife is phony and hypocritical,
I would prefer to believe that then think he was being rude and hateful towards Denise,

jasper123

Yes Sally I do agree with this and your post before in response to cheers post, And especially you notice this about the openness with people in small towns in the U.S. when your traveling around, and yes it is VERY genuine indeed, its the way they were brought up, this is one of the many things I love about Americans, I was married to an American, and I think the majority of people on here are married to Americans right?

jasper123

Very well put Sally, your right, and thats what I have always found with people in the South and also other parts of the U.S. but especially you find this very special kind of open no frills friendliness when you visit small towns,
thats just how they are, the U.S. is such a large diverse country that you have so many different kinds of people, OK now Im getting homesick so I will have to stop now, I think everyone on here who have been living in America for decades know deep down that they love America, but the reason that we want to come home is cause ----- well everyone has there own reasons, but basically when we get older for some reason our birth place has a different meaning to us and we want to come home,

Mummy in the foothills

Maybe his wife is Phony and hypocritical, he knows her. I know I have called my Dh some names over the years, and not in secret either, I tell him what I think.
Sorry Rodney, but DDL is very quick to take offense and attack people herself, and yet gets loving protection and there there dear type responses from her friends here when someone defends themselves by answering her back. She can't have it both ways.
She was very good at giving help to those moving with a US spouse, that info will still be needed by many here who will be moving in the future.

Oh and on the friendliness of Americans, I have found them to be very friendly, but not in a "I will be your best friend" kind of way. After I have lived in the same town for 18 years, I have two friends, only one of them I would ever call in the middle of the night, the other is a bit fair weather friend, I have a bazillion acquaintances, stop and say hello, hows the kids, kind of friends, I know you from the gym friends. But in UK I had, much deeper friends and not just ones I grew up with, it's different. Unless you have a church family here you will always be an outsider, no matter how hard you try, and believe me I am as friendly as they come, I talk to any one and everyone, it used to embarrass the heck out of my boys. So it's not from lack of trying.