Well, I have procrastinated for 7 years!!

I feel responsible for my little boy and my Aussie husband, in dragging them back to a cold, inhospitable land!!

I have had many ups and downs but could never get away from the homesickness, I think what Tracey W said was very important.

It is the moment that something is taken away from you that you relalise what is important. I had something happen that meant I could not go back and I was devastated. I suddenly realised that was the most important thing to me. That I could not tread water anymore.

Sometimes you need a catalyst to shake up your easy life. But if you are smart maybe you won't wait for something to go wrong before changing things. Imagine an option taken away, how does that change what you feel.

For better or worse I have to go back. I am scared though, it is so much easier to do it on your own.

The weight off my shoulders was immense when I decided to go back however its been aprotracted experience but waiting for the dog but we have managed to sell our house, this took longer than we thought, we go back in 18 days time to no job, no house people say your brave I am not phased as I know deep down its the right move for us, 17 months in NZ some say not long enough but if you know its not right why waste your life we had to try it and glad we did i will not regret it yes we have lost money on the house sale in the UK but ironically enough with the exchnge rate and small profit from house here we will take marginally more back with us! lets hope heathrow runway is clear when we land!

Well, I've had lots of times when I thought I just couldn't take any more .. marriage problems, money problems, work problems .. and the list goes on. But, I kept going, kept trying, after all I didn' want to return to the UK feeling as though I had failed ... I didn't want to face the "smug" faces ... especially from the ex. I have poured every part of me into this life - for six years.

My "Light at the end of the tunnel" moment came just after my 13 year old went to stay with her father for Christmas. I sat here, with my OH, no heating in the house because we couldn't afford it, ( still isn't) no food in the house, there was no Christmas dinner!!!I sat on one couch, him on the other - I looked at him and said "This isn't living ... this is hell .. my children, my family, are in another country and we're sitting here like Mr and Mrs Grim - I've had it!!! I'm going home!!!.

And, did your other half agree?

Yes he did. He's just about to file for bankruptcy - so we've got an awful lot to wade through. But whatever happens - Im going home. I've been compliling lists today of everything that needs to be sold, taking pictures of furniture etc. I dont care if I have to sleep on the floor until I leave.

That's a relief that you both want the same thing. Not good about the bankruptcy, but the future will be much better! Good luck to you both. Hopefully you won't have to sleep on the floor

Seems to me that for those of us like Beatle who are living in the spouse's native land and have a child or children, the "Aha" moment--Yes I CAN go back!-- is not something we can have all on our own.

In my case, living in US with American husband, he has been breadwinner, we have three children, and the time to leave was just never right, because of his work and career, and their schooling....

I have often longed to go back but the AHA moment has only come now that children are grown and he is ready to leave his job....it is much
harder when there are other people in the equation!

Though I must say in retrospect I am glad to have raised my kids here, they have turned out wonderfully (not taking credit, just grateful), and we were able to bring them up in a nice small town where we have lived for 21 years. Not to say they wouldn't have turned out fine if we had gone to UK when they were young.

Warning to other homesick Brits who have gone abroad for love of an American, Australian or whatever: if you have children, the time to go home is when they are as young as possible. There's a point at which it is just too hard to take them out of the school system, it seems to me. So then you stay til they are done and grown up, and then they are Americans (or whatever), and do not want to go back to Britain with you! Sigh.

I never had the means to go home for more than a holiday before last year. I had no idea you could get your Superannuation (Australia) once you were over 55.

All you have to do is "retire" - see my friend wanted to go to Europe on holiday for a few months, so she "retired" got her super and had a good old time. Came back and got another job.

That was my aha moment, it was like a little bulb went off in my head, 'cos if she could do it, so could I.....it's like that little seed being planted into your mind and suddenly you eat, sleep and breathe it and think of little else.

But the "scared" part of me bought a return ticket and put my furniture into storage, so back I will go in March and sell everything and come back home. I miss my kids and grand-kids terribly but I feel ill if I think about living in Australia again and the emptiness I felt in my soul living there.

Barb

I know this is an old thread, but its happened to me

Good Girl

My partner and have been dithering about returning to the UK for 10 years, always getting too scared at practically the last moment.

For us our 'light' moment came from our 12 year old daughter. She basically sat us down and said (not exactly in these words) - just make a bloody decision, I'm sick of you arguing and complaining but doing bugger all about it. I've just started High School and if you want to go do it now! If you wait another year I'll be settled in school and you'll have to drag me to the airport kicking and screaming - god bless her little cotton socks.

Anyway, we now have tickets booked, and are leaving Oz on the 20th July. Don't know whether we can make it in the UK but, after 19 years in Oz, we're going to give it our best shot. Whatever happens, it will be an adventure and that's what life is all about.

Good for you and your family. I hope it all works out well, and like you say it's an adventure.

When I came back to Oz last month dragging my feet () my sister bought me a little plaque that said:

LIFE'S A JOURNEY - ENJOY IT

Take care and do keep us updated. Whereabouts are you going to live in the UK?

Barb

Explain Margaret, explain!!!

Lieing in bed the other day thinking about yet again having no bloody money to do anything! weekends are becoming depressing!, even though am working me butt of. Now after three years things aint any better!, so why should i stay!

18 year old , we never see, she is will be nearly finshed tafe , if i aim for this time nxt year, she will (and i would bet on it), opt to stay in oz, probably with boyfriend, i think i can accept this now!

11 year old will be 12 and just strarted high school next year, i am sure she will come with me, as will the dog

Husband, now this is the stumbling block , will he stay or go, i have know idea , i think i will only know when he realises i am dead serious, i am going with/without him

I have enough money to get a flight home, rent somewhere and buy a car, probably alot better than some poor buggers on here, i plan to write to every hosp i can for a job! (but am secretly hoping Hairmyres Hosp, in East Kilbride, or RPH (in Paisely).

The only other decision is where to stay, i am torn between Kilmarnock and Blantyre, probably will opt for Kilmarnock as this will keep 12 year old happy, all of my husbands family are there and hopefull they will help 12 year old (i , of course, will be the bitch from hell if i return without him), but in Blantyre, i have fantastic cousins and an aunt and uncle who are like a mum and dad and i know they will support me, i'm sure if i choose Blantyre i will go back to a fully furnished home, courtesy of them

So dont know why ave been dithering in the first place, i am lucky to have family and a few quid to get back, but i will take a year to get everything firmly in place, starting with getting my citizenship sorted out (just couldnt be arsed before), and the dog vaccinated, wooooohooooooo

I am so excited about posting an update titled "4 years in oz and going home"

Dont get me wrong i am also very anxious about it all, especially when i read ping-pong posts, however i dont think that would be poss for me anyway as every penny will be used getting back! having no money kinda makes your choices for you, lol!

Don't know if you have this link ....but i thought i would post it anyways :-)

http://www.jobs.scot.nhs.uk/ApplySearch/index.aspx


reeni