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Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by toandfro
well I must say i'd love a confrence in London :p .do you find it mind boggling the options and what to do for the best as opposed to what feels best brain v's heart . All the what if's and not only the basic concequences like money and a place to live but will the kids get on will they suffer from different cariculums,will this that or the other work and roundand round it goes until you go mad .anyway all the best good luck with Xmas in a rush if it makes you feel a little better I leave for work today and come back late Xmas eve so I have got to leave it all to the better half good job got her pressie already
The move here was just to easy really: Hubby in a high demand profession, enticed back to Australia with removal expenses, accomodation, flights, you name it we got it! I didn't realise time would fly so fast and that our first tiny baby would be here long enough to start school. He is so big now. I know exactly what you mean when you say brain vs heart. That is too true, and it does indeed go round and round and round. It is so difficult to know where to bring up the kids, my hubby born and bred Aussie, is such a brilliant person. Very well educated in Melbourne and well travelled, and I want my sons to be just like him. So is hubby the way he is because of the fact he is an Aussie? Even though he is so damn fantastic, I still haven't got him a christmas pressie!!! :eek: |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by toandfro
well I must say i'd love a confrence in London :p .do you find it mind boggling the options and what to do for the best as opposed to what feels best brain v's heart . All the what if's and not only the basic concequences like money and a place to live but will the kids get on will they suffer from different cariculums,will this that or the other work and roundand round it goes until you go mad .anyway all the best good luck with Xmas in a rush if it makes you feel a little better I leave for work today and come back late Xmas eve so I have got to leave it all to the better half good job got her pressie already
They have been advertising car park rage on the news, ancouraging us all to get out there and stick our middle fingers up at all and sundry. Yes I did say advertising, as it is with most events, I remember a ram raid being reported on the news in the UK. Then suddenly there was a spate of them, now if that isn't advertising an idea, I don't know what is! |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by northernbird
I think I understand what they are trying to say just he/she has gone about it all wrong. Its a bit like getting into debt and blaming the credit card company or getting fat and blaming Maccas there has to be a certain amount of responsibility we have to take for our own actions. We all took the decision to emigrate, for some it works out and for others it doesn't. There are some here that blame Australia for all their woes but the realists among us all know that for some it just aint happening sometimes due to circumstances beyond their control and that going home is the only way forward.
During that time, we may have a moan, complain about the stupidest things that really don't matter, have a laugh and a joke about Aussie accents or whatever, or need a bit of support from each other now and again when we feel low. What we don't need or want is someone telling us what we should have done, how totally stupid we are, and generally trying their very best to make us feel bad when that person doesn't even know us. |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by LouiseD
The thing is though that there are very few people on here who blame Australia for their problems. Most of us who are unhappy realise that it's our own decisions that have brought us here. Most of us are doing our best to be positive and either make the best of a bad situation, bide our time until we can escape, or doing a runner as soon as is reasonably possible.
During that time, we may have a moan, complain about the stupidest things that really don't matter, have a laugh and a joke about Aussie accents or whatever, or need a bit of support from each other now and again when we feel low. What we don't need or want is someone telling us what we should have done, how totally stupid we are, and generally trying their very best to make us feel bad when that person doesn't even know us. |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by LouiseD
The thing is though that there are very few people on here who blame Australia for their problems. Most of us who are unhappy realise that it's our own decisions that have brought us here. Most of us are doing our best to be positive and either make the best of a bad situation, bide our time until we can escape, or doing a runner as soon as is reasonably possible.
During that time, we may have a moan, complain about the stupidest things that really don't matter, have a laugh and a joke about Aussie accents or whatever, or need a bit of support from each other now and again when we feel low. What we don't need or want is someone telling us what we should have done, how totally stupid we are, and generally trying their very best to make us feel bad when that person doesn't even know us. If this is the case, then I can feel some sympathy with the pain Lane might be feeling. Lashing out into cyberspace is a way of dealing with it in a relatively harmless way. It might not help her really, and isn't very nice to us, but we can only deal with pain and grief with the mental/emotional tools we have. If this isn't the case and I have got it all wrong, then I apologise, Lane. But if I have touched your point of pain and you will accept my understanding and support of it, then you have it. I hope everyone enjoys a relaxed Christmas and can be the happiest they can, wherever they are, even if they'd rather be somewhere else. :) :beer: I'll shut up now, and apologies again if I've got it all wrong, everyone. TopCat |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by TopCat3
Mmm yes. Can I just say here, and I note Sue's intervention and I don't want to add fuel to any fire, just in a neutral way, I think I can see not so much anger as abject misery and sadness. Anger and sadness can be mistaken for one another quite easily. Behind angry, resentful sounding words there quite often lies deep sadness and grief. I'm not pretending to be some psychoanalyst or counsellor (or indeed, smart-arse) or anything, but I did read the initial post Lane wrote that Sue indicated, and am wondering if Lane is feeling - "look, you guys had a choice and I didn't. You guys were excited about coming and I wasn't. You are talking about having the choice to go back, I didn't have that and neither did my parents, because things were different then. Now I am stuck here, like my parents felt they were, my life so closely knitted it would be too hard to unravel and would be all crinkly and difficult to re-knit into something that looked nice even if I had the pattern and the needles to do it. My parents' pride and the untimely deaths of possible guardians in the UK stood in my way of a chance to go back while I was young enough. So perhaps I'm feeling resentful at people who choose to come here then have a choice about going back, and actually have the outlet of other supportive people in a medium (internet) that didn't exist way back then, we just had to get on with it by ourselves"
If this is the case, then I can feel some sympathy with the pain Lane might be feeling. Lashing out into cyberspace is a way of dealing with it in a relatively harmless way. It might not help her really, and isn't very nice to us, but we can only deal with pain and grief with the mental/emotional tools we have. If this isn't the case and I have got it all wrong, then I apologise, Lane. But if I have touched your point of pain and you will accept my understanding and support of it, then you have it. I hope everyone enjoys a relaxed Christmas and can be the happiest they can, wherever they are, even if they'd rather be somewhere else. :) :beer: I'll shut up now, and apologies again if I've got it all wrong, everyone. TopCat |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by northernbird
I wholeheartedly agree with every word of that. However this is an open forum and as such will always get spats occuring due to differing viewpoints. We get it on the godzone side of the fence its bound to happen down here in the doom and gloom room ;) :D
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Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by northernbird
I wholeheartedly agree with every word of that. However this is an open forum and as such will always get spats occuring due to differing viewpoints. We get it on the godzone side of the fence its bound to happen down here in the doom and gloom room ;) :D
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Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by toandfro
now careful NB doom and gloom here drivel and piffle over there what are you to do ;) well merry xmas to you and everyone I'll be incomunicardo till Xmas Eve
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Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by Rosie Cheeks
Thank you so much, you have a good memory! :) Hope you have a brilliant Christmas.
I have postponed my trip home now, we have decided to all go together next year (I was going on my own with the kids). I am all of a tizzy, cause I have sort of let the whole planning for Christmas pass me by because I was going to the UK, and I couldn't have cared less about what was happening here during the holidays! Next year there is a conference in London that we can attend, and we will make a long holiday of it. I would like to stay there for six months to a year, if my oldest wasn't in school. I could do it easily. But I could put him in a school there for a year, whether that is a good idea or not, I don't know. Still need to research that one. I moved schools a few times in the UK and I hated it, so I don't want to drag him around like that. We will do some renovations to this house to make it more appealing, and then perhaps sell it or just rent it out when we are away. I of course would like to move back permanently, but I think a trip for a substantial amount of time is a good idea. This will allow me to see if it is what I really want. When I first moved to Australia I should have put a time limit on it, and left the way clear to go home whenever I wanted to. But I didn't look upon it as a permanent move at the time anyway, I just didn't have a plan to try it out and leave if it wasn't what I wanted. |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by LouiseD
The thing is though that there are very few people on here who blame Australia for their problems. Most of us who are unhappy realise that it's our own decisions that have brought us here. Most of us are doing our best to be positive and either make the best of a bad situation, bide our time until we can escape, or doing a runner as soon as is reasonably possible.
During that time, we may have a moan, complain about the stupidest things that really don't matter, have a laugh and a joke about Aussie accents or whatever, or need a bit of support from each other now and again when we feel low. What we don't need or want is someone telling us what we should have done, how totally stupid we are, and generally trying their very best to make us feel bad when that person doesn't even know us. |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Bottoms up everybody :beer:
Have a good one :D |
Re: Interesting reading for those thinking of returning from Oz
Originally Posted by TopCat3
Mmm yes. Can I just say here, and I note Sue's intervention and I don't want to add fuel to any fire, just in a neutral way, I think I can see not so much anger as abject misery and sadness. Anger and sadness can be mistaken for one another quite easily. Behind angry, resentful sounding words there quite often lies deep sadness and grief. I'm not pretending to be some psychoanalyst or counsellor (or indeed, smart-arse) or anything, but I did read the initial post Lane wrote that Sue indicated, and am wondering if Lane is feeling - "look, you guys had a choice and I didn't. You guys were excited about coming and I wasn't. You are talking about having the choice to go back, I didn't have that and neither did my parents, because things were different then. Now I am stuck here, like my parents felt they were, my life so closely knitted it would be too hard to unravel and would be all crinkly and difficult to re-knit into something that looked nice even if I had the pattern and the needles to do it. My parents' pride and the untimely deaths of possible guardians in the UK stood in my way of a chance to go back while I was young enough. So perhaps I'm feeling resentful at people who choose to come here then have a choice about going back, and actually have the outlet of other supportive people in a medium (internet) that didn't exist way back then, we just had to get on with it by ourselves"
If this is the case, then I can feel some sympathy with the pain Lane might be feeling. Lashing out into cyberspace is a way of dealing with it in a relatively harmless way. It might not help her really, and isn't very nice to us, but we can only deal with pain and grief with the mental/emotional tools we have. If this isn't the case and I have got it all wrong, then I apologise, Lane. But if I have touched your point of pain and you will accept my understanding and support of it, then you have it. I hope everyone enjoys a relaxed Christmas and can be the happiest they can, wherever they are, even if they'd rather be somewhere else. :) :beer: I'll shut up now, and apologies again if I've got it all wrong, everyone. TopCat |
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