[QUOTE=Fromthenorth;... Sometimes you have to go away for a while to know where you belong. [/QUOTE]

How true is that!!

+1

+ me too. Its the things that I took for granted that I miss the most. The travelling around Europe that I did not do and having a good look around England too. Im doing these when I get home.

Couldn't agree more, just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure it out.

We certainly have done that (travelled around the UK) since we returned home and every visit to a new area has been a pleasure.

1) Before I left, living the dream primarily involved having a job. Back then, they were in short supply in the UK, and I got four overseas offers within a month. The dream then evolved as other opportunities arose. When I first discovered the US on rugby tour, I was taken aback at the contrast between the tangible air of optimism there compared to the drab, grey, pessimistic environment where I grew up in the UK. It subsequently involved spending every day surrounded by people with a positive, can-do attitude.

2) Now it involves retiring early enough and with enough cash to enjoy a lot more spare time than I do currently. I look forward to more short trips to Europe, more walks and bike rides, and more time to spend with friends and visit family. One thing it does not involve is having "stuff". Never bought a new car and never will, don't need to buy the latest phone, or watch, or iPod every 6-12 months. Oh, I also look forward to developing my interest and knowledge about red wine. Wouldn't mind doing a tour of the French vineyards, for example.

Sorry, completely OT but I just noticed your avatar - is that a Griffon?

No, she's a wire haired vizsla.

I know exactly what you mean, although things have not been terrible for me here I feel like I've wasted time and now I know I want, no need, to go back to uk. For me I didn't realise how much the geographical location of my roots would pull so strongly but the truth remains that if I had not tried this expat lifestyle I would live my life wondering. At least now I know the simple things of home that I took for granted I would warmly embrace now. It's going to be a lot of work to get back and when you've made up your mind to return the effort to make it happen seems enormous. Bon courage to all

I don't like the phrase, 'living the dream', in fact, I find it quite juvenile. Worse still when I heard some one just say, 'L.T.D.' in it's initials. Although I've just smiled at the irony of ltd being short for limited.

1. Sorry, no dream. I always knew what NZ was like ! Visits to NZ to visit prospective in-laws in Auckland in 1994, prior to getting married in Britain later that year, 1996/7 for Christmas and New Year, and again in October 2006 as our twin nieces had their first birthday told me all I needed to know about NZ and life there. Basically, it's all very well but can we go home now ? When, in UK summer 2006, my husband said we could sell our house in Britain, buy one in NZ and live mortgage free, both of us with a job and therefore more disposable income I thought but didn't say, 'well, sounds good in theory'. I just said, 'ok'. My mum had died in September 2005 and I was still to grief stricken to think straight. Basically I just agreed to my husbands' idea to close down the subject so I could get back to my grief. I thought coming to NZ would make my husband happy and therefore us happier as a couple. Guess what ? We're still the same people.

2. My idea of living the dream now ? Still no dream as I'm wide awake. However, I look forward to being in England. Just being there. Applying for a job and maybe even getting one, Christmas in winter, supermarkets and clothes shops that I prefer, maybe even getting back into BMF circuit training, maybe returning to my weekly diet class.

There's diet and fitness initiatives in NZ, however, my 'dream' is to get back to what I once knew. I've kept some of the (size 12) clothes I had on arrival in NZ over two and a half years ago, when they fitted me. One of my goals is to carry on attending aerobics classes and dieting until I drop enough kilos to fit back into them. (Don't all laugh at once !)

you'll do it snap shot. We may all emigrate for different reasons but we all have one thing in common and that's to go home.

I can relate a lot to your situation on moving abroad when your going through an emotional turmoil then realising that you don't turn into someone else but infact you are the same person but now in a different country and culture. Just being to be in England right now and be me is all I'm looking for now. I dream to be back there. Unfortunately I think it's going to take roughly three years for us before we can return. At the minute I'm training and eating well determined to be a better fitter me for going back.

It's interesting to read people's comments about being the same person wherever you live. That is true to an extent but I'd say my 23 years overseas definitely changed me, substantially. I am nowhere near the same person I would have been if I had spent all or most of my life in the UK.

However, I can see the point that expecting an overseas move to change you can end in disappointment. In my first expat posting I saw many expats who had moved in the hope they would solve personal problems (with their marriage, with drink problems, with being unhappy, whatever). If anything, moving and then realising it made no difference (in fact as far as drinking problems go, it made things worse!) left them in a worse state, because they added disappointment or disillusionment to the mix.

or having the best of both worlds - here & there or home & away is ideal for us

1. The pipe dream (there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel) for us was the adventure, prospects, opportunity - better than what was available for us (no light at the end of the tunnel) at the time living in the cold, damp, dreary, small minded, bad attitude, negative & miserable outlook on life of the majority of the folks & the establishment of the mid 60's UK.

Did it happen ... 100% positive it was the right move.

2. More or less what we have at present retired at 66 years of age, our needs & wants are small & pleasurable. We are at the light at the end of the tunnel, living out that pre-emigration adventure today (knock on wood) healthy, moderate lifestyle in safe surroundings, without restrictions to come & to go whenever or wherever life choices take our fancy at a moments notice. Material things are unimportant (the jones's can do whatever they wish) & we no longer look for or at accumulating further wealth or to seek the opportunity (fame or fortune) or better prospects.

"living the dream" before emigrating:
I moved to be with my USC wife. The American dream of the big house, car, job etc was great for a while, but then it lost the shiny veneer. It provided me with opportunities I would not have had previously, but as I have got older my priorities have changed.....people and places matter, not stuff.

living the dream now:
I want a much better work/life balance so I can actually spend time with my family instead of working 60+ hours per week, being close to my mum and brother and friends, downsizing to live in a flat, only want 1 car, being able to use public transport, walking in the country, a nice pub and real ale.