Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Jan 17th 2008, 3:22 am
#481
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
I still haven't quite got my head around the obsession that many Aussis seem to have with private schools. When our kids were playing football last year the conversation between the parents seemed to entirely revolve around which private school you had your childs name down for. The other parents seemed baffled that our children were attending the local public schools (which we have found to be perfectly adequate compared to the UK schools they attended before). To me it seems to be a bit of a status symbol thing, live in the right suburb, drive the right sort of car and send your kids to the right private school.
I ususally frighten people like that off, can't think why
Must be something to do with not giving a stuff what they think of me
Jan 17th 2008, 3:24 am
#482
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Our son went to private school here after he was bullied, both mentally and physically for 3 years and the state schools could nothing to protect him. Their hands are so tied it's not true! If the state schools were comparable to the ones he attended back home, then we wouldn't have paid so much for his education.
Bullies need a good hard kick up the arse.
My lad was bullied from being 5 years old and the effect it had on him is just terrible. I had to have him to a phsycologist at the age of 12.
Jan 17th 2008, 3:44 am
#483
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Next day my son came home and told me that this boy wants to be friends now. You can imagine what I said.Another time, the bullies were much bigger than me but I gave them daggers every morning when I dropped my son off. I shouted to them once that my brakes might just fail if I see them crossing the road. Well, the look on their faces was a picture. All three hung their heads and scampered away like the cowards they are.
Jan 17th 2008, 3:47 am
#484
Gutter Gob!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 13,098
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Oh Wendy, that's dreadful. It hurts you so much doesn't it and yet your hands are tied. I must admit to running after one boy who wouldn't leave my son alone. I waited outside the primary school and when he saw me he tried to run, but I caught the little shite. Never knew I still had it in me to run so fast, but when the adrenalin is pumping.... Next day my son came home and told me that this boy wants to be friends now. You can imagine what I said.
Another time, the bullies were much bigger than me but I gave them daggers every morning when I dropped my son off. I shouted to them once that my brakes might just fail if I see them crossing the road. Well, the look on their faces was a picture. All three hung their heads and scampered away like the cowards they are.
Next day my son came home and told me that this boy wants to be friends now. You can imagine what I said.Another time, the bullies were much bigger than me but I gave them daggers every morning when I dropped my son off. I shouted to them once that my brakes might just fail if I see them crossing the road. Well, the look on their faces was a picture. All three hung their heads and scampered away like the cowards they are.
Jan 17th 2008, 4:12 am
#485
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Oh Wendy, that's dreadful. It hurts you so much doesn't it and yet your hands are tied. I must admit to running after one boy who wouldn't leave my son alone. I waited outside the primary school and when he saw me he tried to run, but I caught the little shite. Never knew I still had it in me to run so fast, but when the adrenalin is pumping.... Next day my son came home and told me that this boy wants to be friends now. You can imagine what I said.
Another time, the bullies were much bigger than me but I gave them daggers every morning when I dropped my son off. I shouted to them once that my brakes might just fail if I see them crossing the road. Well, the look on their faces was a picture. All three hung their heads and scampered away like the cowards they are.
Next day my son came home and told me that this boy wants to be friends now. You can imagine what I said.Another time, the bullies were much bigger than me but I gave them daggers every morning when I dropped my son off. I shouted to them once that my brakes might just fail if I see them crossing the road. Well, the look on their faces was a picture. All three hung their heads and scampered away like the cowards they are.
Luckily he has lots of new friends at the school he goes to now, so it's all behind him.
Jan 18th 2008, 3:52 am
#486
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Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 3,453
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
I only had one experience of bullying and I had words with the child, the school and the parent. Told them if it happened again I would give the child the slapped arse they deserved and if they wanted to take it to the police then so be it. Funnily enough it stopped immediately.
Jan 18th 2008, 4:11 am
#487
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Most of the school picked on my lad - just because he had eczema. Mind you, I have to say he didn't just stand and take it, he gave as good as he got, he probably made it worse though.
Luckily he has lots of new friends at the school he goes to now, so it's all behind him.
Luckily he has lots of new friends at the school he goes to now, so it's all behind him.
Jan 18th 2008, 4:32 am
#488
poole ,dorset . love it
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,281
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Poor little mite. Surely the teachers had a chat to the children about ezcema/asthma? My son also had mild ezcema and asthma, but wasn't bullied because of that. The bullying only started at his first school here. He would always finish his work first and was good with computers, so the teacher used to let him go into the library to get info for him from the computer. I think that's what started it. Then he was chosen by the school to read at the Anzac Day service in Kings Park here in Perth. He was in the school library one day when afew lads walked in and kicked the book he was looking at. One of them, the ringleader, called him gay because he liked reading and that was it. From that day, they would line up to kick him, call him gay, throw his lunch in the sand and tip his water on it. He would come home black and blue, but tell me it was play fighting. I asked why his lunch box was always wet and he said he didn't know, so I got suspicious. Then he pleaded with me to tell the teacher that he couldn't do the reading for Anzac Day, so finally I got it out of him. I went to see the teacher and he said my son could speak at the school service instead. Two days later I got an emergency phone call from the school. He had been beaten to a pulp. The doctor thought his jaw was broken and his eye was so badly cut that we could see his bone. It was horrendous. Thankfully his jaw wasn't broken, but he had to have regular visits to the hospital for his eye. It took over a year for the awful lump on his pupil to disappear.
I had threatened afew kids before, but they just called me names and laughed, which made me even more angry. They know the police can do nothing. We changed our sons school 3 times. They were awful times.
I had threatened afew kids before, but they just called me names and laughed, which made me even more angry. They know the police can do nothing. We changed our sons school 3 times. They were awful times.
Jan 18th 2008, 4:46 am
#489
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
He went to a private HS, so when I saw what had been done to him, OH and I went to the school and it was dealt with immediately. I still wanted my brakes to fail when I saw those 3 cowards every morning though and told them it could very well happen too.
Jan 18th 2008, 5:43 am
#490
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Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Life is like a box of chocolates......you never know what you're gonna get!! (Fforest Gump!)
Posts: 231
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Poor little mite. Surely the teachers had a chat to the children about ezcema/asthma? My son also had mild ezcema and asthma, but wasn't bullied because of that. The bullying only started at his first school here. He would always finish his work first and was good with computers, so the teacher used to let him go into the library to get info for him from the computer. I think that's what started it. Then he was chosen by the school to read at the Anzac Day service in Kings Park here in Perth. He was in the school library one day when afew lads walked in and kicked the book he was looking at. One of them, the ringleader, called him gay because he liked reading and that was it. From that day, they would line up to kick him, call him gay, throw his lunch in the sand and tip his water on it. He would come home black and blue, but tell me it was play fighting. I asked why his lunch box was always wet and he said he didn't know, so I got suspicious. Then he pleaded with me to tell the teacher that he couldn't do the reading for Anzac Day, so finally I got it out of him. I went to see the teacher and he said my son could speak at the school service instead. Two days later I got an emergency phone call from the school. He had been beaten to a pulp. The doctor thought his jaw was broken and his eye was so badly cut that we could see his bone. It was horrendous. Thankfully his jaw wasn't broken, but he had to have regular visits to the hospital for his eye. It took over a year for the awful lump on his pupil to disappear.
I had threatened afew kids before, but they just called me names and laughed, which made me even more angry. They know the police can do nothing. We changed our sons school 3 times. They were awful times.
I had threatened afew kids before, but they just called me names and laughed, which made me even more angry. They know the police can do nothing. We changed our sons school 3 times. They were awful times.
We have had no issues with bullying here (and hopefully won't!) but our daughter was bullied in the UK for several years.....Same old same old....school couldn't do anything and the police were powerless.....even the bullies mother would swear and make snide comments to our daughter when she saw her in the playground!! Trouble is they were clever and never did anything when there were witnesses present!! I only know that if anything half as bad as happened to your son happened to either of our daughters I would probably end up visiting my husband in prison cos he would beat the parents to a pulp!!
Jan 18th 2008, 5:44 am
#491
poole ,dorset . love it
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,281
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
He is fine now thanks. He's just about to embark on his final year at uni, then I think he intends to go back to England to work, he's never really settled here. He was beaten a couple of times after that first school incident, once in the changing rooms of his high school and another time he was walking home and a group of lads got out of a car and beat the living shite out of him. I still get a lump in my throat thinking about the hurt they caused him and the helplessness of his situation. I would love to know who those cowards were.
He went to a private HS, so when I saw what had been done to him, OH and I went to the school and it was dealt with immediately. I still wanted my brakes to fail when I saw those 3 cowards every morning though and told them it could very well happen too.
He went to a private HS, so when I saw what had been done to him, OH and I went to the school and it was dealt with immediately. I still wanted my brakes to fail when I saw those 3 cowards every morning though and told them it could very well happen too.
Your lad sounds like he has a bright future and good on him .
Jan 18th 2008, 5:55 am
#492
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
How absolutely terrible for your son and you.....I'm glad he's doing well now, he really deserves to.....
We have had no issues with bullying here (and hopefully won't!) but our daughter was bullied in the UK for several years.....Same old same old....school couldn't do anything and the police were powerless.....even the bullies mother would swear and make snide comments to our daughter when she saw her in the playground!! Trouble is they were clever and never did anything when there were witnesses present!! I only know that if anything half as bad as happened to your son happened to either of our daughters I would probably end up visiting my husband in prison cos he would beat the parents to a pulp!!
We have had no issues with bullying here (and hopefully won't!) but our daughter was bullied in the UK for several years.....Same old same old....school couldn't do anything and the police were powerless.....even the bullies mother would swear and make snide comments to our daughter when she saw her in the playground!! Trouble is they were clever and never did anything when there were witnesses present!! I only know that if anything half as bad as happened to your son happened to either of our daughters I would probably end up visiting my husband in prison cos he would beat the parents to a pulp!!
Last edited by St.Georges Girl; Jan 18th 2008 at 5:58 am.
Jan 18th 2008, 5:59 am
#493
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
It just breaks your heart doesn't it, you feel so helpless. When my son was in year 12, a neighbours daughter was in year 9 and was being mentally bullied by a group of girls at their school. The trouble was, they would carry it on in the evenings via txt's and msn. I told my son this was going on, after having her mother tell me about it. I found out a week later that my son had quietly gone and spoken to the girls and one boy who was involved in the bullying and, given them a warning that he would be looking out for our neighbours daughter from then on and would report any bullying to the Student Principal. He didn't tell me this, the mother and grandmother came up to the house to thank my son in person for protecting the daughter and putting a stop to the bullying. They had also informed the schools Student Principal and we got a wonderful letter saying they were proud to have him as a student in their school and that it would go down on his student record. I was a proud mum that day.
Jan 18th 2008, 7:38 am
#494
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Location: UK-France-UK-France
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
This is our major stumbling block about going home. We hear so many terrible stories about crime, muggings, chavs,binge drinking fashion, drugs (I know that's here but it seems more prolific in the UK) inflicted upon kids in the UK.
People coming out here reckon their kids are not safe back in the UK, that they're liable to be pricked by infected needles, smothered in dog poo or tread on broken glass if they so much as go to the local play park. They also reckon their kids don't play outside because of the danger from weirdo's, or it's too cold or dark, or it's raining every day.
We left the UK years ago when our kids were so little, before they had a chance to experience any form of social life as such back there. I have little knowledge of the UK education system, however, recent arrivals reckon the kids in primary schools in the UK are stressed out and worried about exams and tests all of the time.
Can somebody back there, who has perhaps lived both lives (in Uk and Aus) give me their viewpoint about this?
People coming out here reckon their kids are not safe back in the UK, that they're liable to be pricked by infected needles, smothered in dog poo or tread on broken glass if they so much as go to the local play park. They also reckon their kids don't play outside because of the danger from weirdo's, or it's too cold or dark, or it's raining every day.
We left the UK years ago when our kids were so little, before they had a chance to experience any form of social life as such back there. I have little knowledge of the UK education system, however, recent arrivals reckon the kids in primary schools in the UK are stressed out and worried about exams and tests all of the time.
Can somebody back there, who has perhaps lived both lives (in Uk and Aus) give me their viewpoint about this?
Hi TraceyW,
I too am having the same difficulties as you, we are in France and are ready to return to the UK but we have our reservations, one of them being the worry of bringing up our kids there.
We are in a very quiet rural area here, the kids don't really do anything, we have the lovely countryside to play in, rivers to swim, cows to milk at the local farm etc, this is all lovely and at first we said that it was how life was for our grandparents all those years ago.
The reason for wanting to return so much is purely homesickness, we miss family friends and familiarity, to put it into one sentence I would say that 'we are ready to go home now' it's as simple as that, we are not home here.
But does home mean putting our kids at risk of all those things that you hear about.
When I think rationally I know that we lived in the UK until our children were 8 9 and 13, they all suvived, never experienced any of those things that you hear about.
I just feel that here I can keep them wrapped in cotton wool, the kids here don't go to town on a saturday (there isn't one near enough) they don't go to the cinema, bowling, pizza hut etc.
All 3 of the children are happy here but the youngest 2 want to return to england.
I know that I can't wrap them in cotton wool and that it isn't good for their development but whilst I am here I can get away with doing that.
That sounds terrible I know.
When I think of what I was doing when I was 16 it is a completely different picture to what my 16 yr old does now.
I would like her to be going to town on a Saturday with her friends and coming back with a new cd/mascara/something to wear. I would like her to be thinking about some sort of part time work to become a little more independant.
None of these things are possible here.
I didn't mean to ramble on quite so much, I just want to say that you are not alone in this.
Racheal x
Jan 18th 2008, 9:11 am
#495
Banned
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 172
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Hi TraceyW,
I too am having the same difficulties as you, we are in France and are ready to return to the UK but we have our reservations, one of them being the worry of bringing up our kids there.
We are in a very quiet rural area here, the kids don't really do anything, we have the lovely countryside to play in, rivers to swim, cows to milk at the local farm etc, this is all lovely and at first we said that it was how life was for our grandparents all those years ago.
The reason for wanting to return so much is purely homesickness, we miss family friends and familiarity, to put it into one sentence I would say that 'we are ready to go home now' it's as simple as that, we are not home here.
But does home mean putting our kids at risk of all those things that you hear about.
When I think rationally I know that we lived in the UK until our children were 8 9 and 13, they all suvived, never experienced any of those things that you hear about.
I just feel that here I can keep them wrapped in cotton wool, the kids here don't go to town on a saturday (there isn't one near enough) they don't go to the cinema, bowling, pizza hut etc.
All 3 of the children are happy here but the youngest 2 want to return to england.
I know that I can't wrap them in cotton wool and that it isn't good for their development but whilst I am here I can get away with doing that.
That sounds terrible I know.
When I think of what I was doing when I was 16 it is a completely different picture to what my 16 yr old does now.
I would like her to be going to town on a Saturday with her friends and coming back with a new cd/mascara/something to wear. I would like her to be thinking about some sort of part time work to become a little more independant.
None of these things are possible here.
I didn't mean to ramble on quite so much, I just want to say that you are not alone in this.
Racheal x
I too am having the same difficulties as you, we are in France and are ready to return to the UK but we have our reservations, one of them being the worry of bringing up our kids there.
We are in a very quiet rural area here, the kids don't really do anything, we have the lovely countryside to play in, rivers to swim, cows to milk at the local farm etc, this is all lovely and at first we said that it was how life was for our grandparents all those years ago.
The reason for wanting to return so much is purely homesickness, we miss family friends and familiarity, to put it into one sentence I would say that 'we are ready to go home now' it's as simple as that, we are not home here.
But does home mean putting our kids at risk of all those things that you hear about.
When I think rationally I know that we lived in the UK until our children were 8 9 and 13, they all suvived, never experienced any of those things that you hear about.
I just feel that here I can keep them wrapped in cotton wool, the kids here don't go to town on a saturday (there isn't one near enough) they don't go to the cinema, bowling, pizza hut etc.
All 3 of the children are happy here but the youngest 2 want to return to england.
I know that I can't wrap them in cotton wool and that it isn't good for their development but whilst I am here I can get away with doing that.
That sounds terrible I know.
When I think of what I was doing when I was 16 it is a completely different picture to what my 16 yr old does now.
I would like her to be going to town on a Saturday with her friends and coming back with a new cd/mascara/something to wear. I would like her to be thinking about some sort of part time work to become a little more independant.
None of these things are possible here.
I didn't mean to ramble on quite so much, I just want to say that you are not alone in this.
Racheal x