Tim Dart

So I face the prospect of moving back to Halifax, Canada next week. Got a job lined up, accommodation and I’m a PR card hold so it’s straight forward going back in. I lived in Canada from 2006 and moved back to the UK in Jan 2012. I thought that’s what I wanted but I haven’t been able to settle back into UK life since I’ve been back. My son lives in the Maritimes and I’ve excited to be near him again. But I can’t help thinking I’m moving for him and not me.

Maybe it’s because I’m 39 next month but I can’t still believe I don’t know what side of the Atlantic I want to be on. I love living next to Europe and like Canada also.

Anyone else emigrated and still can’t make there minds up where they want to live? I’m having some serious second thoughts which is made worse by the fact I turned down a job over here in the UK last week.

Anyone else on here had a similar dilemma? How did you break the stalemate?

beachgal21

Why did you leave Canada and move back to the UK in the first place?

Tim Dart

My marriage had ended and I was a bit fed up with work in Moncton. I honestly thought it was the answer to come back the UK.

Tim Dart

I decided to go back and try it, What's the worst that can happen. I don't like it and I come back. I will know in the first few weeks of me being there.

beachgal21

Best of luck to you, and yes you're right, if you don't like it you can always return home. I think lots of people ping pong backwards and forwards, never feeling completely at home in once place or another. I guess that's one of the risks you take when you first venture out to live abroad.

Charell

I have a feeling I may end up being one those that ping pong from UK to Canada. I am in the process of getting back to the UK in June 2014 having lived in Canada (Vancouver) for the past 22 years. It is time to go home and spend time with the relatives although in my situation I am leaving my kids (18 & 20) at uni here in Canada. Depending on how I readjust to the UK and where my kids end up (they are planning to spend some time in the UK in the future) I can still see ping ponging in my future. To be honest it doesn't really bother me, I love the West Coast of Canada but need time with family in the UK right now.

Tim Dart

For me this is it. I'm fed up with ping ponging. I'm flying out tomorrow and start my job on Wednesday. I have booked a return ticket at the end of March. If I'm not loving it in Canada I will fly back. I will just put it on open status if I decide to stay.

I will know by the middle of next week how I feel. I have lived in canada before I don't need 6 months to know how I feel. If I leave, I will end my residency simple as that and move on with my life. Plenty of adventures in Europe to go on.

I moved back in 2012 to be with my mum, she was just diagnosed with alzheimer's then. So glad I had some time with her and looked after her. Fast forward to 2014 We are at the end game, it's not looking good.

I have been dithering for the last two weeks on this. What's my gut saying? I love Europe, and I like Canada. That says it all really.

I'm keep an open mind, but I want to move on. I'm fed up with being in limbo. I will update the thread next week and tell everyone how I'm feeling.

Englishmaple

Good luck Tim and I'd be really interested to hear how you find it. I moved from UK to Canada in 2002 and never really felt settled but that was also due to where I moved in Canada and other issues (like my marriage which is now an ex marriage). I'm moving back to the UK in April and I've been flipping backwards and forwards on whether I'm doing the right thing - but I feel at the moment that I have to move back and see how things go. The thing that's helped me is to remind myself that nothing is set in stone - if it doesn't work out, I will move back or move somewhere else.
Good on you for getting work so easily though - that's the one thing that I've found very difficult and has definitely coloured my experience of Canada.

Shard

Yes, I think some of us are destined to be eternal ping pongers. The irony is the more you ping pong, the easier it gets, and the less homesick you feel in either place.

between two worlds

By now I guess you are back in canada. Maybe soon you'll post the promised update. Here's hoping for you that your feelings clarify ......

I am struck by one line in a previous post.
You said "I love Europe and I like Canada."


If that's all there is to it, then for me the answer is obvious--"love" is much stronger than "like," stay in Europe!! BUT you do say you have a son in canada so that is a huge factor and may well shift all the priorities.

angelic applicant

yeah im also interested to hear how you got on.... 10 days till my flight back to the UK. however, the last couple of months, since making the decision...ive never felt so settled!!! WTF!!!! i hope i dont end up ping ponging i dont think i could cope. maybe im feeling settled because i know im going back. although im not thinking this is the end of it

Tim Dart

Sorry for the delay in posting. I'm still in Canada and I started the job around 28th Feb.

How am I finding it? Well it's strange, it feels like an alternative reality almost like a flip of a coin. Things are pretty similar anywhere in the world. Bills have to be paid. You go to work, you do stuff on weekends. I have a habit of not living in the moment. But one thing I do think about is, do I want to grow old here in Canada? Is this forever and ever out here. Because if the answer is no then why am I here? I mean it's great when your young and everything's sunshine and rainbows. But if I was 60, 70, 80? Would it be great then? Definitely not.

I'm coming back to the UK. This isn't for me out here. As I split with my wife out here, there are too many memories good and bad. I liked that I put them all behind when I moved back in 2012. There are times over the last few weeks some old wounds have opened up again and I've become upset over things.

I've been around to see my son. Me and my ex are good friends. I don't like arguing and we have a child together. I've even talked with my son about things and he understands. He's said he just wants me to be happy. He's a good lad, I'm very proud of him.

I think it's not about where you live but what you do where you live that counts. I think both countries are great. But for me, I'm a runner, cyclist and love hiking. There are plenty of adventures to go on in Europe and the UK.

My son is 15 in September and has said that he is taking a two year gap year after school to come back to the UK to see how he feels. He likes England as much as I do. With Skype and FaceTime the world is a smaller place. It's not the same as being in the same room. But we get to see each other.

Shard

Good to read your update and that you have made a decision. Each country has merits that the other does not, and if you focus on the merits you want, and forget about the merits elsewhere it leads to some stability. Easier said than done, but that is the way.

between two worlds

Indeed, great to read this update. Sounds as if you've the clarification you needed...

good luck with the next phase!