dave99

Long story short, been back in merry old england 6 months now and not finding it very merry at all really. I got a job, a rental and got back into the swing of it pretty much straight away.

However I still dont feel like I have come home, sure the people have accents like mine, things look more normal to my eyes but I keep wondering what the hell I am doing here!.

After seeing and doing so much in aus I feel a bit out of place here now. Listening to people moan about their lives I miss the positive australian attitudes. I miss the big roads, the sun and sea.

It has been great to meet up with family and get to know the little ones I have missed out on while they have been growing up and a few new additions.

Its hard to put my finger on exactly but its like theres a black cloud over people here, they complain about everything, this hasnt been helped by my job where people seem to back stab and slag each other off at every opportunity.

I am quitting the job in a few weeks and now face a big decison, do I move to another part of england and a new job here or do I go back to australia?. If I stay I will need to stay for a year at least so as to not have to many short term jobs on my CV, so I need to decide soon but I am really struggling with it! any advice?

Wub

Six months isn't very long - I'd give it more time particularly as its the grimmest part of the year just now what with winter in full swing.

Maybe, you've outgrown your home town? We decided not to go back to our respective home towns when we bought a place last year and its been great making a new start in a new place that both of us have chosen together based on our preferences now rather than when we were a lot younger.

Think about the reasons WHY you returned. Will those reasons still be there in a few months time if you go back? Its a very expensive business ping-ponging
as many on here will tell you.

Try a different part of the country - do a bit of research first and ask on here for some ideas regarding prospective locations.

aries

I agree with you about the attitude of people over here, the negativity is almost overwhelming, it is as if Britain is enveloped in a black cloud. However even in Oz in recent times negativity has also appeared, though with those wide roads and sun, it doesn't feel as bad.

Adjusting can take some time, and from someone who spent 51 years in Australia (mostly in Adelaide), and who has been to and fro many times, I suggest that you give yourself another year before you ping-pong back. Move to another town where there might be more positivity, make new friends and join in local activities, and then perhaps review your options.

Location is very important, you need to be in a place you like. If you desire to be nearer the sea, is it possible for you to find work on or near the coast? It will not be the same as Australia, but think of what you didn't like and the
reasons you left there.

I can understand your quandary, many of us have been in the same position over the years. q

britwhore

We must also point out that the British have ALWAYS been negative. Doesn't matter what town or what job, we love to bitch and moan and bitch and moan. It's usually people that have never lived away from the UK that do it the most.

My sister lived in NYC for 10 years but has been back in the UK for 5 years now and is starting to fall under the "doom and gloom spell" even though she swore blind that she would never fall into doing that.

I suggest you accept all the moaning and just smile but don't let it get to you.

aries

Remember the Aussi term "whingeing Poms?"

Now you know why!

quoll

Give it time - it has been winter and everything looks bleaker in the winter. When the spring comes, people do become more positive as the place becomes full of colour and life.

The Poms whinge - fact of life - but individual Aussies arent averse to a good whinge too and on the other hand the trumpet blowing rah rah rah Aussie Aussie Aussie oy oy oy of the media is just as irritating. (However must say my mum does have a PhD in whingeing and it is beginning to get on my nerves somewhat but she always has been a glass half empty kinda gal - rest of my family arent like that at all)

I'd be moving away from your home town - you can never go back to what you had so the world is your oyster, you can go anywhere in UK and try something new.

What you are experiencing is the "curse of the expat" - perfectly normal

chris955

To be honest I think you have made up your mind already judging by this

"Perth is not like england and trying to look for the same things that you used to do in england is a mistake, you have to change you attitude and look for other things. I am back in the UK now and everywhere I go theres a million people crammed in. I wish I was back in perth so I didnt have to queue for 20minutes just to get served in a pub, not to mention finding a bloody table to sit down at is difficult."

I do think you need a change of scenery, what you describe above doesn't sound like the SW which is why we are heading to that area Can I ask where you are at present in the UK ?

sallysimmons

I think you need a sit down and have a really good heart-to-heart with yourself. Maybe take a few days and go off somewhere remote to think things through.

First accept that nowhere is perfect. Then think about what you need to be happy. Really think about it - make a list if it helps. Then decide whether you can get those things in the UK or whether you have to go to Australia for them. (For example, England has beaches and there are plenty of places you could live where the pubs aren't crowded - those seem like minor issues that are easily resolved).

Once you've figured out what makes you happy, you'll be in a position to do something about it rather than just hating where are.

Good luck!

britwhore

Such great advice!!!! That's exactly what I did last year with my decision to move back to the UK. I looked at what I REALLY needed to make me happy. Turned out it was family.......and decent cake!!!!

sallysimmons

Are we sisters?

britwhore

HAHAHA!!!!!!! Me thinks so.

Why does American cake suck so much!?!?!?

"Sheet cake" "yellow cake" "white cake"?!?!?!?!? Those aren't cakes!!!!

Give me an iced bun any day!!!!

TheEmperorIsNaked

I'm so sorry to hear this. The temperature if nothing else must be utterly depressing for you! As you and I both know Perth and Adelaide (moi), have copped a hammering in heat in the last few years.
Traditionally the middle and North got the heat, but now Adelaide and Perth have become generally hotter than the North! Perth has had the brunt of it with two blistering summers now.

To go back to a cold bleak environment is a hell of a shock, before everything else. SS's weigh up scenario is a darn good one! I have to say that 6 years here isn't actually very long. If I may ask-why did you leave?

Six months there truly is not long enough. IF you can-have a shot at a different area-and perhaps hold off any decision until the weather improves??

It's so expensive to move, just be as sure as you can.

I have to say this though;-if you prefer summer extreme heat-and other season milder weather;-if you prefer beach near proximity, and what is a more laid back lifestyle.......well, you know that Oz is the place for you.

Time. Just give it more time to be sure.

brits1

Sorry to hear how your feeling...sometimes you have to look at your lifestlye and that includes your family and friends....in Aus when we first arrived we were surprised by how many migrants (from all over the world) use to winge about Australia...then our Aussie friends would winge about migrants, flies etc....we just took a step back and made friends with people who had a positive attitude...hence in Aus we had a nice up beat bunch of friends and here in the UK we have the same both sets of our family here can make something not so great into something better, maybe that where my OH and I get our attitudes from......I do find it annoying when people label countries with certain types...basically (and having travelled to remote places) most people can find something to complain about so if you think the answer is go jet off somewhere and that solves your problems well it usually does not. If you miss the Sun, Culture,Work,People, Country of Australia then head back...nothing wrong with doing that....Good luck....

MartynK

I think most of the people who contribute to these forums are either unhappy in their adopted countries and/or relieved to be back in the UK; but I'm sure there are many expats who are perfectly content overseas and have no desire to come 'home' at all, or have tried it and left again. Don't worry about it, we all have to find what works for us, and it doesn't have to be the same for everyone.

I lived in South Africa for 30 years, and didn't set foot in the UK for about 25 of them. My wife decided to come back in 2006, I visited her in 2008 and joined her in 2009. This isn't working out for me at all, and I still spend some time in SA, but my heart sinks every time I have to come back. I miss the blue skies, the sun, warmth, cheerful people - despite the crime and corruption - and the whole way of life. Both my kids have British passports but neither of them want to live here, because they find it so depressing.

So, what to do? I'm going back to stay. My wife will come out and visit, so theoretically we'll both be content.

Suki-Lou

Dont! I really miss cake...oh & family too