Bobsnoturuncle

I’ve been talking to a 28 yr old Filipina from the provinces of Cebu for 3 months now but I am not sure if she is a scammer or not.

One thing that raises my suspicions is her profile picture on WhatsApp. It looks like a professional photo. It shows her perched on the edge of a bench with the image taken side on to her body. She has a straight back as if to push out her breasts and the image angle results in her backside, hip, thigh and lower left leg all on show. In my opinion it seems a bit staged rather than a photo taken by an amateur. Other images she has sent me are selfies taken by herself. I have reverse image searched all the images she has sent as well as the ones on her dating profile and WhatsApp and got no results.

Despite asking about her family a few weeks ago she neglected to tell me that she has a son until a few days ago. It seems strange that she would only just decide to mention him now after all this time. It took a week of asking her what it is she needed to tell me before she finally told me. Beforehand she said ‘I’m afraid if I'm going to tell you the truth, you will leave me.’ I have asked her about her son and who the father is and where he is but am yet to hear back. What are people’s thoughts on dating Filipinas who have children?

She told me about her past relationships with Filipinos and one ended because of cheating and the other ended because he wasn’t all that he seemed. She nearly married one of the Filipinos. She claims that ending her relationship was traumatic for her. She says she had a relationship with a married foreigner but she ended it because he was still with his wife and they had a kid together.

When I asked why she wanted to date a foreigner her response was: ‘Because I think foreign men are more decisive when they choose what they want in life. Asians tend to be fickle-minded’ She went on to say ‘I’m starting to dislike Filipino men and I want to be financially stable. I want somebody who has the same interests as mine. I'm into saving and investing. Which a lot of Filipinos don't do that.’

She has talked a lot about wanting to be financially stable. She says she works as a school teacher full time and sells insurance in her spare time. She has said regarding money ‘I just want to ensure my future first so can share it with my family’. This has got me wondering if she plans to send money earnt in the UK home and is therefore using me to get a visa rather than for love.

On our first video chat I said about how my friend has a Filipina fiancé and that they got engaged within two weeks of meeting. She seemed shocked by this and her jaw dropped. When I asked her how long she reckons it takes to get to know someone she said two years. In further messages I asked her where she sees us in a year and she said ‘Hopefully, good friendship and see what happens next’. She has also said ‘Good romantic relationships come from good friendship.’

My concern is that she continues to miss our pre-arranged video chats. The latest two excuses for not being able to were ‘I’ve got to take my mum to the hospital’ and ‘I’ve got to clean rooms’. It seems strange that anyone would prioritize house cleaning over video chatting. What are people's thoughts on this?

Sorry for the extremely long post. But I question this because she has talked a lot about money and missed prearranged video chats so I'm wondering if this is a scam to get a visa and there's a risk she’ll disappear as soon as she’s got one.

Would her having a kid put you off or not?

Does she sound like a scammer or a genuine Filipina wanting to have a romantic relationship with a foreigner?

Dorothy

Scam. Have a good hard read of the thread "Me and my family " on this site. Then ask yourself what's in it for her as much as what's in it for you.

Pulaski

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, .... draw your own conclusion!
This is good advice.

Gazza-d

To me she sounds cautiously genuine, she talks about money but has she actually asked you for any. Having a child a foreigner is often the only option as filipino men don't tend to take on others children, that's more acceptable to westerners. She's a teacher so more educated than most and is not rushing, expecting a relationship to take a couple of years sounds very sensible, perhaps you should be taking her advice not ours. Has she said that she wants to give up her good job in the Philippines and wash dishes in the UK or are you assuming she naturally wants to emigrate, perhaps she is assuming you will move to the Philippines to be with her. Wanting to marry a foreigner to gain financial stability why do you think that is wrong, that's why all the girls do, it just many guys won't see it or admit it and assume it's because of love.

christmasoompa

You’ve mentioned her age, but not yours - how old are you? Call me cynical but if she’s 28, & you’re old enough to be her father (or grandfather!) then I’d say scam.

Bealinehx

I agree with Gazza-d. In the end when this Coronavirus episode has gone away a holiday visit may answer your questions. A face to face interaction answers most questions, internet dialogue does not.
I met my wife on the internet and I was fortunate to be able to visit the Philippines three times a year. My now wife visited the UK twice. I moved here 8 years ago and we married in 2013. She still works in her chosen profession. Quite a normal marriage from both cultural aspects.
The first respondent is a little harsh but the referral to "Me and my family " is pertinent. P11 made the mistake of moving in with LL before they had met, all dialogues were on the internet.
Good luck and remember don't let your brain drop one metre!

scot47

Scam. Move on.

Bobsnoturuncle

I am 31 years old.

Bobsnoturuncle

She has said 'What i mean, is for me i don't like to become a plain teacher nor housewife. I want financial freedom and realize my other goals'. So it sounds like she wants to get a job and not have to rely on me financially.

Gazza-d

What you have to realise is what would be available to her in somewhere like the UK. Most come here and work in carehomes or simple factory jobs hence my comment about washing dishes. Her teaching qualifications are unlikely to transfer. There's not many openings for teaching tagalog or dance and beat a drum.

Philosophical 11

Has she actually told you that she wants to go to the UK? From what I have read so far is that she probably is a scammer, but you wont know that until she tries to scam you. Your age is in your favour as far as a potential scammer is concerned. As far the child is concerned, it is understandable that she didn't tell you about that for the reasons she has given. My advice is simple. Give her the benefit of the doubt for the moment and carry on with the relationship. If she wants you to bring her to the UK, take your time....there appears to be no rush. But visit her in the Philippines first.

Best of luck!

Stokkevn

A few on here jumping to conclusions.

I think the only way to find out is visit the Philippines and see how she lives and how she behaves when out with you. Say you live a modest life and don't mention the Ferrari or the castle in Scotland. Then just see how it goes.

Gazza-d

What you must realise is on dating sites people are looking for different things, westerners are looking for love whereas filipinas are looking for stability and will then work on the love.

bestvue

I 2nd this. Cebu is good for a vacation. Go and meet her ( is she happy for that ?) Don't send money and as mentioned keep the Ferrari under wraps.

Red_Wine_Fairy

Financial independence. Are you sure that doesn't translate to 'looking for a rich foreign guy so I can travel and live the instagram life'?


''My concern is that she continues to miss our pre-arranged video chats. The latest two excuses for not being able to were ‘I’ve got to take my mum to the hospital’ and ‘I’ve got to clean rooms’. It seems strange that anyone would prioritize house cleaning over video chatting. What are people's thoughts on this?''

She is hoping to hook you before you realise:

a) she isn't a teacher at all - she cleans rooms (hotel? office?)
b) she isn't the girl in the Instagram photo - that was probably a friend, sister, stolen instagram photo of a stranger.


Edit, ''I have asked her about her son and who the father is and where he is but am yet to hear back''

This is because she is still married to him, and knows she will lose you if you find that part out?

Relationships are based on honesty/truth. You have come here to validate (or otherwise) the multiple alarm bells that are ringing in your head. You don't need validation: Trust them.