Bealinehx

I agree with all that has been written. Don't commit to anything. A three week initial visit is good. Gazza-d made a good point about meeting on neutral ground.
In the final analysis first impressions are usually right so good luck on your first meeting.

As an aside I met my wife on the internet and after many visits and one year of living together we married after six years. Also she still works as a midwife, her choice.

PaulHudson

Hi. I wouldn't even have dreamt of a LD relationship , paticuarly in a third world country. What happened to me is I have a friend of 25 years and am friends with her and her husband. We are close enough that we have considered retiring together and I trust my female pal. She introduced me to her cousin who is 17 years younger than I, professionally employed. We started emailing just to be polite to my friend who introduced us and went to great honest lenghths explaing to each other why this wouldn't work and we emailing just so as to not be rude to my friend/her cousin. We finally found out that we really liked each other. I came to the Phils 2 x last year and now have retired here. When meeting for a second time there was a 40n something black american ex servise man staying nearby with his new girlfriend. He had sent her money to pay for the motel and worked at a night time call centre. He announced one day as we were talking that the motel were evicting them because the rent had not been paid. Despite her assurances to him that the rent had been paid it turned out she was married, had 2 kids, had pocketed the money and at nights did not go to her job at a call centre but back to her children and husband. What a scam...........

mikemike

We met on the net, then i visited several times and moved here. we stayed together for 7 years before getting married and then started a family., That way due diligence practiced by both parties!!

wayne42

I have to say firstly that having read this thread of messages through,I am very impressed with the quality of replies that you have had so far and similarly impressed at the way that you have processed and taken advise!
IMO,this girl has issued many warning triggers that if ignored could lead you to a life of infinite purgatory!!

What a great idea!!
Although,I met and married my wife 28 years ago,we finally moved here to Bohol with our kids 7 years ago from the UK.. Best move we ever made..
I think with at least two years here as a single man,you will not only learn what you need to in regards to Filipino culture but you will also be free to meet and even date as many or as few local women at your leisure until you meet the right one.
Call me old fashioned but its stilll the best way IMO!!

We operate a small business in Manila providing accommodation to guys and their fiance`s that are waiting for spouse visas etc to countries like the U.S and many other countries in Europe..
I would say that 85% of these guys met their partners via online dating sites..
I could give you many true examples of bliss and harmony and just as many examples of pure hell!
Hopefully now,you can avoid the latter due to the advise you have been given here and seem to be heeding.

Regards,
Wayne.

Philosophical 11

Hi All,

Thanks again for your responses. To date I am still trying to spot warning signs and so far nothing further has come to my attention. She mentioned the other day that there was no profile pic on the dating site and asked why I should have been interested in her in the first place. Well, anyone who knows me will know I am a chatty sort of person which is why I engaged with her. It is only on first cam chat that I developed the interest. I know of one lady who had no pic and on asking why she told me that some disgruntled punter stole her original photo then doctored it and put it on a porn site. I left it there. This current lady so far has not asked for money. She did however mention her disappointment that when her young daughter became ill I did nothing to help. I assume she was referring to me paying for drugs. I told her that it is my principle never to send money... no matter how little. She accepted that. At the time we were talking about trust and seems a bit concerned that I would go there for 3 weeks or retire there and then play away. If I had trusted her...why did I not offer to send money for drugs? Answer...she never asked but would have got a firm no.

She seems very unsure about my intentions so much so that I have agreed that I will move there (assuming we hit it off) on retirement and she can move in with me whenever she feels comfortable. During that period she will be treated like a normal gf and will not get the financial support as if she was my partner. She has accepted that and that is how it hangs at the moment.

In summary, I am remaining vigilant and will terminate the relationship if it becomes necessary. Then I will just retire out there and hopefully meet someone in the normal way without internet dating.

Regards

Pete

Gazza-d

Not picture is often a red flag, you could be talking to a bakla. Mind you a picture can alway be of someone else, a local movie star for instance.

Crystal Dale

My advice is don't promise anything financial to a filipina you've only just met. And certainly don't say you'll adopt her child. She needs to love you first, for the person you are and not for the better life your wealth can give her/her family. Also, and I dont wish to be crude of course, don't think with your (down below). If you do, you might be sorry but good luck anyway. My wife of 3 years is Filipino, but she can't join me here in Uk because of strict visa conditions, and I can't afford to move there. She is just 12 years my senior. I've visited her 8 times there so far.

mikek1

My advice to you would be to 'cut and run'. I met my wife on an aeroplane going to the Philippines. She lived in Germany and was going home for her brothers graduation, and I was going to visit a friend in Bacolod. We sat next to each other, the rest is history, we have been married 20years.
I have been travelling to the Philippines for the last 20 years (1-2 times a year) and would suggest you travel to the Philippines as a 'tourist', not going to meet an internet date. I could almost 100% guarantee that you would meet several girls who would like to make your acquaintance.
You should remember as a foreigner you would make a good catch for many Pinnays. In fact there are also many professionals (teachers etc.) who would certainly like to meet up. No doubt if you were there as a tourist you would come into contact with many locals who would be more than willing to introduce to their sisters, nieces etc.I also think you would be wise to travel the Philippines then you would have a better understanding of their culture and how they think. No internet chatroom could give you this necessary experience.
I can honestly advice that most couples I have met that were 'chatroom dates' ended up in miserable failures. You have nothing to lose and all to gain...................try it!

Crystal Dale

if you do go there, even just for a short visit you need to get injections such as for cholera/typhoid/hepatitis b etc. Dont drink the tap water, and bring lots of sunblock and insect repellant. I really dont like the sound of the girl you've met, and every piece of adv ice posted has indeed been brilliant. However, use your instincts and you'll be ok. Asian females are in no way the same as Western girls. I could write a book on it.

Philosophical 11

Thanks all again for your responses. I was surprised to read about requiring various immunisation jabs.....My research showed that none was required but I will have to double check on that with my Village Medical Centre. I intended to bring anti-malaria tablets and have no inclination to drink the local water. She has already advised me on that and uses bottled water.

As an aside, I have noticed that some flights to Manila include a stop in China. Does this represent a problem in way of visa's etc? I am assuming it is just a refuelling stop and there is no requirement to leave the aircraft.

I think I should elaborate a little bit on why I used a dating site. It was not for the purpose of just finding female company but for someone local who can speak the language and help me research the vagaries of retiring in the Philippines. I would not like to under-take this on my own. That was the prime reason but it should go without saying that if we hit it off then a long term relationship may follow. I must admit that I do have a liking for this lady and it is possible something may develop from it. I have already discarded many girls because of nefarious reasons. She has already made clear that she cannot stay with me in the hotel because of how it would look with her family.....indeed I never asked her to. It is not my nature. I just need a companion to teach and show me the delights and otherwise of settling down in the Philippines. However, I have noted the words of wisdom from all the contributors to this thread and remain on my guard.

Thanks again all for your interest.

Regards

Pete

Bealinehx

A response to two of your points.

Regarding vaccinations a personal choice. I have had non and only drink bottled water.

As for travel via China you do change planes and from what I hear there are no problems. For the sake of an extra few pounds why not try the new Philippine Airlines non stop Heathrow to Manila flight. In the end it may be cheaper as you will probably spend money in transit through China.

Stokkevn

Not too sure where you are traveling from in the UK, but keep an eye on travel time, most flights through China that I have seen are over two days long. Best I have found are Amsterdam - KL or Singapore - Manila ( approx 22 hrs ) and very little difference in price.

Stokkevn

A friend of mine asked the hotel he was staying in if they knew anyone who was good in English and willing to act as a paid tour guide while he was in the Philippines and willing to take him round the provinces. The tour guide was an English teacher ( relative to someone who worked there ) and has been my friends wife for the past 12 years.

You never know your luck

steve18

PHILIPPINE AIRLINES PAL. have reduced the cost of flying direct now. iv seen flights as low as £606 direct and you can book them domesticaly from MNL to Bohol but i believe they charge extra for your baggage ?.. EMIRATES offer a very good service also. cheap asian airlines offer cheap fares but the travel times can be up to 45 hrs down to 24 hrs and are usually 2 or 3 stops. its a long way to go to be pissing about at different airports.
when you know your travel dates start using search engines for flights that fit in with your needs. OPODO MOMONDO SKYSCANNER TRAVELPACK STATRAVEL are ones iv never had a problem with.. hope this helps

Gazza-d

The very cheapest flights do take longer but you shoulendd be able to keep it to 18 hour or less, London to Manila. Keep away from the cheap arab and Chinese airlines. We've always found Malaysian good. Used Lufthansa to Hong Kong and Cebu Pacific into Manila this year. If you need to go to Cebu you can fly direct but it tends to be a bit more expensive, worth looking at though.