Stokkevn

It is less about the money side but more about the inconvenience of having permanent visitors. The TV is always on a WowWowWee type program, the batteries for the remote have gone missing, the kettle you have just boiled for your coffee is empty, the gate is left open and the dogs have done a runner. Mind you we have not had any permanent visitors for years. I warned the wife but she did not believe me, I just wandered around with no cloths on sometimes, wife looked horrified and the visitors fled.

Stokkevn

Looks like I may have dodged a bullet there. I used to teach kids ( about 12-16 year olds ) English and science at the weekends, for free, well I say free those who turned up got a free soft drink and the missus made a snack. It was done on the downstairs veranda facing the front so they were always in view and sometimes one or more parents used to be there for a gossip with the missus. Now I leave it up to the teachers and get the kids excited about learning by giving money for high marks at the end of each term. Not 100% success but a great improvement in most of them, unless of course they are using some of their gains to bribe the teachers into giving higher marks.

mikemike

Yes we ran an internet cafe from home. converted the garage area so it was part of the home!! Was given a very friendly bit of advice by the local Home owners president to not allow children in unless with older members of their family.

I know a really good guy in CDO who used to do some teaching from home on pc and the Barangay captain said no do not do it the local uniform people will set you up for claiming your are doing on line stuff with kids etc . he closed down fast!! He and his wife were teaching English and computer studies. The peace of paperwork that is needed is the CHED stuff so you get central approval. Took me months to get that through when I helped set up a school in Cebu for foreign students, freaking nightmare

Stokkevn

Glad I am only doing points = Pesos now then.

Philosophical 11

Stokkevn,

I will be the first to admit that they are no problem. Gate is always locked, no noise from TV or radio and no intrusion on our privacy. The only noise I hear is when he is taking a shower and I am amazed at how loud and how many bodily noises I hear. Perhaps its a culture thing. However it would be fair to say that my relationship with them is curt but polite. So, they are not costing me anything and are not intrusive. But what irks is that no-one has told me what is going on. Perhaps that is my lovely lady's fault but deep down I know the finger points at me. I should be more assertive on what goes on here but as long as the situation does not change in respect to their behavior, then I will let it lie. For now.

Regards

Stokkevn

In a way you are lucky that the 'visitors' occupy a separate building and access can be somewhat controlled to the main building. Here we only have the downstairs bedrooms which are part of the main house.

Philosophical 11

Stokkevn,

I doubt if I can countenance that especially if they are not paying towards their upkeep. I know a lot of people do....but its not for me. I do find the situation here very irksome despite the fact that they keep themselves to themselves and not costing me anything extra. Irksome because Waddly is living here under a lie, owes me money which I lent to help her out and now without any reference to me having a live in boyfriend.

She has not had contact with her family for about a week whereas before she visited them most days or they were ringing her every day or so. She has not paid her fathers medicine bill this month nor half the rent as far as I am aware. I hope the situation normalizes soon. She is the only one who has helped her family in a meaningful way. When she was a little girl, she helped the fishermen drag in the nets for a few fish, at school she spent the weekends selling banana que for money and left home to earn money for her family. Now it appears they have forgotten what she has done for them. But she is very resilient but also vulnerable inside and easily hurt which sounds like a contradiction.
But you know what I mean.

Thinking of formally proposing to her in the next day or so which I think will make her feel better. But I have said that I will out of courtesy ask her father for her hand and treat them to a celebratory beach party. Wonder how that will go down. We shall see.

Regards

quiltman

, Congratulations on your possible upcoming nuptials! Your GF (fiancee???) sounds like a good 'un even though her family are a pain in the backside at times! You know the philosophy here - today is what counts, not what happened in the past. They probably look on her past help as nothing more than her responsibility at the time and so is forgotten very quickly, unlike us Brits who remember the kindnesses shown us even though it was some time ago. Good luck for the future and please keep us updated! I am in contact with 2 Brits who have read ALL 78 pages of your saga as they are looking to join their GFs here! It's opened their eyes!
Regards,
gary

Stokkevn

Unfortunately here, help is rarely thanked and never remembered.

My wife gave two of her cousins kid's money ( one P30k the other about P20k ) so they could go overseas to work. Neither I nor my wife ever received a thank you from parents or the kids, one of the kids was home not long ago, never came round to see her. The parents of the other kid no longer speak to my wife as they are now business people ( Sari-sari store and buy/sell a few sacks of rice ) and we are only retirees.

Dorothy

Congratulations, Your lovely lady sounds like she makes you happy and you her. I wish you both a long happy life together.
Dorothy

PistolPey

I experience this too, my gf only earns 26,000 and she lives alone in Makati so she has a lot of expenses but she still manages to send her mother around 2-4 thousand each month who lives in Zamboanga. It always angers me as I never see any remorse or thank you by her mother.

LPR

It seems this is "normal Life" in The Philippines. My GF was the same, sending money each month for her sisters medicine, which I think is only right as her sister could not afford it. But she was always first port of call whenever the rest of the family needed something, fortunately now that things are serious between us it's our money for our house so they have to look to other family members for help.

LPR

Can I just add my congratulations , your determination to make it work for you both is a credit to you. I can't wait for the report on the engagement party.

Stokkevn

Well done marriage is a fantastic institution, I have been married for 42 years, 3 different wives but that's another story.

Millhouse

yea, well done Let us know how it goes.