MikeNZ

Hi 11, hopefully all the sponsors will give you a thousand peso gift as is customary where my wife's family come from then you give them a cooked chicken gift so you will be down but not out. In my opinion better to be on the right side of the corrupt in PI than the wrong regardless of what you believe. Make sure your guests stay for the first dance perhaps using the mayors armed guards so that they can all pin some cash on to both your wedding clothes. Regards Mike

Philosophical 11

Greetings..

MikeNZ and all. So what is a sponsor in terms of weddings? Before planning this wedding, a sponsor to me was someone who helps finance the wedding by pinning money onto the backs of the bride and groom during the first dance. Unless I know the individuals concerned, I no longer attend weddings. Doesn't seem right that I am invited just for money when I don't know the couple concerned. So....when lovely lady said we must have sponsors, I refused. I don't take charity from anyone which is how I have been raised. She then explained that a sponsor doesn't have to part with money (she never informed me of that when I was doing sponsor duties) but people who we as a couple should turn to in case of marital strife for advice. So I accepted that and will tell our wedding planner that on our first dance, no-one will be permitted to donate money. Now, getting back to the Mayor who she wants as a sponsor...(she still has a monk on btw), she is probably right that he will most likely decline our invitation. But knowing my luck, he might well pitch up with his entourage and at 1.5k each....it will overstretch my already overstretched budget. But between you and me and the gatepost, I suspect he has been invited because his name will look good on the invitations. Prestige, if you like. I also suspect that she has told all and sundry that the Mayor is coming to our wedding. So now we have a serious loss of face.

The green-eyed monster has reared his/her head again. I am in intermittent contact with this person who has poor English. I am not going to go into great detail yet unless I get something concrete. But a name will be supplied so I am told. We shall see. Not told lovely lady of this further message because she is already stressed out getting the wedding organized.

Just had to recruit another person for the big day. The Announcer. So, we now have 4 photographers, a make up artist for her, a wedding planner and now an announcer. That's seven seats gone out of 50 we are permitted in the original cost.

Happy days....

MikeNZ

Hi 11, I don't know how it is where you are, but at our wedding we had 12 sponsors mainly aunts and close friends of my wife's family and the crooked Baranguy Captain but he's a nice enough guy who lives across the road. The sponsor bit is not charity or wedding finance, just like giving a gift to help the new couple on their way.They all gave us an envelope with around 1000 pesos, the pinning to the dress business is for the rest of the invited guests. The sponsors all received a gift of chicken and other things worth about 500 pesos. Just another custom to not get involved with. In your place 11 I would step back and let your future wife take care of it then she can never have any negative thoughts about your input. Just make sure she knows what you have to spend. Stay away from the wedding planner and the money on the dress bit, the locals will not understand what the hell you mean so do not get involved. I would tell the green eyed monster to f--k off no future in listening to trouble makers just a waste of time. Regards Mike

Stokkevn

My wedding was bit of a rushed affair ( as we were here for just a few weeks holiday ) and I made the sensible decision - don't get involved. She was given 80% of the budget ( knowing full well she would overspend ) and told to do what she wanted with it. She sorted out everything and when she asked for a top up, she got the other 20%. There were only two hitches one was that of the morning of the wedding, I could hear her in doors, her mum & auntie arguing about something in our bedroom where I had left my socks and shoes. Eventually I had to bite the bullet and rushed in and grab what I wanted, I was confronted by all demanding to know if I agreed with family, that she should wear a 100 year old wedding dress or her the trouser suit that her in doors had brought with her from the UK. I just answered "Yes" and fled. Her in doors won obviously, she got married in a trouser suit. The other was that the out of the three pigs and a cow bought for the wedding feast the native pig had been bought as a stud animal. So I made friends with the little beast, after the wedding I saw him slowly rotating above some red hot coals, so much for his dream of becoming the local stud. Bit like getting married really.

Philosophical 11

Greetings.

Had a grrrrrrr moment this evening. Lovely lady had purchased a new motorcycle on the "never never" a month or so ago but sadly couldn't get on with it for various reasons and traded up for a new and better one. No idea of monthly payments. Saw her father whizzing about on her old one and was told that her brother had taken over the payments and given it to her father. This brother also pays half their rent. He must earn a good wage to pay half the rent, plus payments on the motorcycle. He lives elsewhere and is a school bus driver. Obviously must have his own rent etc to pay. Bus drivers obviously get paid well. It irks me a tad when lovely lady recently paid his medical bills and has more bills to come with his health problems. It will irk me a bit more if they come cap in hand to me....

Should have mentioned that the family already have a motor cycle/side car for taking the kids to school etc....

Happy days....still.

Gazza-d

My concern would be that her brother may have said he will take the payments....until he doesn't, then it's the lovely lady that will catch the flack as she is still responsible at the end of the day for the payments....on both motorbikes.

Rete

I know I'm not daft and that I don't have major memory issues but didn't you post not to long ago that the parents were in serious arrears for non-payment of their rent. If that is so, then brother certainly wasn't paying it was he. So why would your significant other believe that he would assume payments on the old bike.

Philosophical 11

Gazza....My concern is that the brother is not really paying for the motorcycle. I do not think he can afford to as I have hinted. Also, there is animosity between the father and him for various reasons which is too boring to go into. I think she made that up and she is paying. But if that is not the case, and she catches the flak as you suggest, then yes...she has a problem. Not me.

Rete.... Correct. They were in serious rent arrears which was mysteriously paid off. I suspect Lovely Lady paid it off under duress of her fathers illness.

Also....The Filipina who owes me a 140k for medical treatment for her deceased bf, is no longer going to Ausieland to obtain a well paid job to pay off her debts. Instead, she is saving up for a visa to go to the USA to meet a new bf she met on line. Lovely lady tells me she will start to pay off her debts over time....and I will receive 5k tomorrow. We will see.

I have a theory why the Mayor was invited to the wedding. Her father knows him and in the past has cadged money off him to pay for the odd family jolly or two. As a sponsor, maybe he will fork out a few bob ....but guess who wouldn't see a penny?

And finally.... The pawning has started again. 20k today and 30k a few days ago.

Interesting days....still.

Jerseygirl

How can you get married to this woman when your relationship seems to be based on lies and deceit?

Gazza-d

You keep saying that it's her problem, it's her problem. But sorry the ultimate buck is stopping with you. I lent 800k to a relation to pay a hospital bill, the aunt unforntunatly died in hospital, I was made all sorts of promises about pensions, land etc. but nothing, the family walk around with no care in the world there was never any intension of ever paying it back. As they say possession is 9/10th of the law.

Millhouse

Mallory

Dorothy

Lots of sex with a woman younger than your own children.
Kind of like blind stupidity.

Philosophical 11

Greetings!

Thanks for the responses and interest as ever....At the risk of being accused again of defending lovely lady and my attitude, I will answer a few points made.

Jersey Girl: I have already explained the situation here a few times. If you are still none the wiser I will be happy to do so again for your benefit if you wish.

Gazza: The buck will not stop with me. The ATM is closed and the money tree outside is now dead. She has debts? Maybe. She is living beyond her means? Maybe. Again, her problem and not mine. With the knowledge now that her father appears to be donated a m/cycle he does not need by someone paying the loan repayments, means that they have not heeded my advice about budgeting for emergencies. His future medical bills will be borne by them and not by me. They seem to know better than this foreigner. Their problem now....and not mine. If this affects our relationship or marriage....then so be it. I have already walked away from one 44 yr marriage.....It holds no fears to me. However, I don't think it will come to that.

Mallory: ***Isn’t the MIL doing the washing?**** She seems to have taken that up....so yes. But I bet you my bottom dollar that she is being paid by lovely lady to do it. I refused to pay her for that a year or so ago on the grounds that we are doing enough for them financially and they should reciprocate in kind. Your second point can be answered with a yes. But that does not apply to me. You will need to read from page one to understand my reasons and motives for coming to the Phils. Its a long read.....so just take my word for it.

Dorothy: You have been blunt with your comment and I have no problem with that. But I will reply with equal bluntness.....you have a dirty mind.

Regards....life is good!

mikek1