Me and My Family
Nov 4th 2020, 10:16 am
#4982
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Again the "So I told you so-ers " ramble on negatively...
Feidlimid.......Re post 4893. I reiterate, I did NOT cave into her demands. As I explained carefully, this is why she got violent. If I caved into her demands then I would be with her now being leeched. You are bandying my words to suit your own purpose.
Gazza.....I have received much bad unsolicited advice here which if followed would have put me in a worse position than I am now. It would have put me in jail and deported. My problems started AFTER my marriage with the collapse of her on line business. Like the others you generalise, enlighten me with the all important piece of advice that would have seen me sitting on the beach drinking a cold beer.
Feidlimid.......Re post 4893. I reiterate, I did NOT cave into her demands. As I explained carefully, this is why she got violent. If I caved into her demands then I would be with her now being leeched. You are bandying my words to suit your own purpose.
Gazza.....I have received much bad unsolicited advice here which if followed would have put me in a worse position than I am now. It would have put me in jail and deported. My problems started AFTER my marriage with the collapse of her on line business. Like the others you generalise, enlighten me with the all important piece of advice that would have seen me sitting on the beach drinking a cold beer.
Nov 4th 2020, 10:41 am
#4983
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings...
For all you "I told you so-ers" It is BECAUSE I left her that I am in this position now. Now if I had listened to some of your advice I would be in a far worse position.....or back in the UK where i precisely do not wish to be. Also some of you were gloating that I would be back with her within a few months. Wrong again. Furthermore, if you deeply care for your wife I am sure you would help her out also. I solved her first problem, but gave up on her second problem. Maybe I have more patience than you but as it stands now, I have been told that I have a very good defence against her. Ok, that is not a guarantee, but if I had taken some of your advice I would have no chance. It is because of my diligence and doing things the correct way that I have a very good chance of getting my life back to normal in the Philippines.
For all the others.....Thank you for your support and encouragement. Very much appreciated in this difficult and stressful time.
Keep safe
For all you "I told you so-ers" It is BECAUSE I left her that I am in this position now. Now if I had listened to some of your advice I would be in a far worse position.....or back in the UK where i precisely do not wish to be. Also some of you were gloating that I would be back with her within a few months. Wrong again. Furthermore, if you deeply care for your wife I am sure you would help her out also. I solved her first problem, but gave up on her second problem. Maybe I have more patience than you but as it stands now, I have been told that I have a very good defence against her. Ok, that is not a guarantee, but if I had taken some of your advice I would have no chance. It is because of my diligence and doing things the correct way that I have a very good chance of getting my life back to normal in the Philippines.
For all the others.....Thank you for your support and encouragement. Very much appreciated in this difficult and stressful time.
Keep safe
Nov 4th 2020, 11:18 am
#4984
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,009
Re: Me and My Family
It would appear your expectations are for P11 to live his life as yourself and a few other posters dictate. To give advice is fine, P11 is a grown man and well aware of the pros and cons of his decisions. I believe he has considered all advice given here and is going with his gut instinct well aware of the consequences which could be sever.
Every situation is different and only P11 can fully understand to what degree his ex LL can and will stoop to. His decision to stay and fight for what he believes is justice is ultimately his and his alone, We should be wishing him well and offering encouragement. As previously mentioned if I was in a similar situation my endevour would be to find a compromise and I would do everything in my power to ovoid the case going to trial.
One mention from P11 i find strange is reference to a cold bed sit in UK, thought he mentioned somewhere he has 2 sons in the UK, no doubt hey could offer something better than a cold bed sit, regardless its preferable to local prison.
Every situation is different and only P11 can fully understand to what degree his ex LL can and will stoop to. His decision to stay and fight for what he believes is justice is ultimately his and his alone, We should be wishing him well and offering encouragement. As previously mentioned if I was in a similar situation my endevour would be to find a compromise and I would do everything in my power to ovoid the case going to trial.
One mention from P11 i find strange is reference to a cold bed sit in UK, thought he mentioned somewhere he has 2 sons in the UK, no doubt hey could offer something better than a cold bed sit, regardless its preferable to local prison.
Nov 4th 2020, 1:39 pm
#4985
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
If you honestly believe any one who has been reading this and trying to support you and offer you help in the years that this has been going are gloating then you're missing so much it's not remotely funny. As per usual you read what you think is written, rather than what is actually being typed.
Nov 4th 2020, 1:46 pm
#4986
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Me and My Family
You see gloating. I don't. I have absolutely no reason to apologise to you for anything. If I did, you can be assured I would as anyone who knows me would confirm
Nov 4th 2020, 1:52 pm
#4987
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,391
Re: Me and My Family
ADVICE: guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action.
This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.
Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.
It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.
P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.
P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.
How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.
This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.
Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.
It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.
P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.
P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.
How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.
Last edited by Rete; Nov 4th 2020 at 1:54 pm.
Nov 4th 2020, 1:55 pm
#4988
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
So ...you did not see the posts of those gloating that I will be back with her in a few months? If you did not I will take the time and effort to find that for you. And I dont expect an apology from you.
Nov 4th 2020, 2:11 pm
#4989
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
ADVICE: guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action.
This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.
Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.
It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.
P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.
P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.
How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.
This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.
Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.
It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.
P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.
P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.
How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.
Rete.....Succinctly and well put. Thank you
Nov 4th 2020, 2:35 pm
#4990
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,863
Re: Me and My Family
The thing with advice, is that there's advice and there's advice. Some examples:
I don't think you should drive when you've had ten pints.
I think you should tell your children not to play with knives.
I don't think you should drive off that cliff.
I think you should take this medicine to stop your cancer.
And so on.....
Extreme examples, but it's obvious to everyone what the correct course of action should be. Just as it was obvious to everyone years ago that LL was bad news, and nothing good was going to come of the relationship.
I don't think you should drive when you've had ten pints.
I think you should tell your children not to play with knives.
I don't think you should drive off that cliff.
I think you should take this medicine to stop your cancer.
And so on.....
Extreme examples, but it's obvious to everyone what the correct course of action should be. Just as it was obvious to everyone years ago that LL was bad news, and nothing good was going to come of the relationship.
Nov 4th 2020, 3:21 pm
#4991
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,391
Re: Me and My Family
All of the above examples are not really advice but examples where the person expressing their opinion has the ability to correct the situation immediately, i.e.
1. Take the car keys and call him a cab or drive him home yourself;
2. Take the knife away from the child and tell them the hazard of playing with a knife;
3. Get the driver out of the car and/or call the authorities and pray they get there in time; and
4. MYOB - not everyone wants to take chemo or radiation for their cancer because they have good reasons not to; i.e. elderly person; balance of suffering to cured is not equal, etc.
The advice and opinions offered here were just that advice and opinions. No one here had the ability to stop him and more importantly, no one here was privileged to experience his emotional and intellectual thoughts while going through this. People should stop taking his inaction to their advice as an affront to them.
You can tell a drug addict or drunk not to do drugs or not to drink but it is their choice alone to indulge.
1. Take the car keys and call him a cab or drive him home yourself;
2. Take the knife away from the child and tell them the hazard of playing with a knife;
3. Get the driver out of the car and/or call the authorities and pray they get there in time; and
4. MYOB - not everyone wants to take chemo or radiation for their cancer because they have good reasons not to; i.e. elderly person; balance of suffering to cured is not equal, etc.
The advice and opinions offered here were just that advice and opinions. No one here had the ability to stop him and more importantly, no one here was privileged to experience his emotional and intellectual thoughts while going through this. People should stop taking his inaction to their advice as an affront to them.
You can tell a drug addict or drunk not to do drugs or not to drink but it is their choice alone to indulge.
Nov 4th 2020, 6:20 pm
#4992
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,863
Re: Me and My Family
All of the above examples are not really advice but examples where the person expressing their opinion has the ability to correct the situation immediately, i.e.
1. Take the car keys and call him a cab or drive him home yourself;
2. Take the knife away from the child and tell them the hazard of playing with a knife;
3. Get the driver out of the car and/or call the authorities and pray they get there in time; and
4. MYOB - not everyone wants to take chemo or radiation for their cancer because they have good reasons not to; i.e. elderly person; balance of suffering to cured is not equal, etc.
The advice and opinions offered here were just that advice and opinions. No one here had the ability to stop him and more importantly, no one here was privileged to experience his emotional and intellectual thoughts while going through this. People should stop taking his inaction to their advice as an affront to them.
You can tell a drug addict or drunk not to do drugs or not to drink but it is their choice alone to indulge.
1. Take the car keys and call him a cab or drive him home yourself;
2. Take the knife away from the child and tell them the hazard of playing with a knife;
3. Get the driver out of the car and/or call the authorities and pray they get there in time; and
4. MYOB - not everyone wants to take chemo or radiation for their cancer because they have good reasons not to; i.e. elderly person; balance of suffering to cured is not equal, etc.
The advice and opinions offered here were just that advice and opinions. No one here had the ability to stop him and more importantly, no one here was privileged to experience his emotional and intellectual thoughts while going through this. People should stop taking his inaction to their advice as an affront to them.
You can tell a drug addict or drunk not to do drugs or not to drink but it is their choice alone to indulge.
Yes, we all make mistakes. No one is saying we're all perfect. But to repeatedly refuse to recognise those mistakes, or to take action to rectify them says something, and to repeatedly continue to make the same mistakes says something more again.
I do not feel affronted in any way whatsoever by the actions of P11. He's been good entertainment over the years. To conflate P11's actions with the perception of people being affronted, rather overestimates the importance of a thread detailing the antics of a British pensioner in the Philippines, on an anonymous Internet forum in people's lives. 😁😁😁
I'm only writing this now because I'm sitting in a cafe killing time. P11 can do what he likes.
As he's proved.
Repeatedly.... 😂
Nov 4th 2020, 11:04 pm
#4993
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2020
Posts: 37
Re: Me and My Family
ADVICE: guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action.
This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.
Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.
It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.
P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.
P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.
How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.
This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.
Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.
It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.
P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.
P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.
How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.
Nov 4th 2020, 11:50 pm
#4994
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 34
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings...
For all you "I told you so-ers" It is BECAUSE I left her that I am in this position now. Now if I had listened to some of your advice I would be in a far worse position.....or back in the UK where i precisely do not wish to be. Also some of you were gloating that I would be back with her within a few months. Wrong again. Furthermore, if you deeply care for your wife I am sure you would help her out also. I solved her first problem, but gave up on her second problem. Maybe I have more patience than you but as it stands now, I have been told that I have a very good defence against her. Ok, that is not a guarantee, but if I had taken some of your advice I would have no chance. It is because of my diligence and doing things the correct way that I have a very good chance of getting my life back to normal in the Philippines.
For all the others.....Thank you for your support and encouragement. Very much appreciated in this difficult and stressful time.
Keep safe
For all you "I told you so-ers" It is BECAUSE I left her that I am in this position now. Now if I had listened to some of your advice I would be in a far worse position.....or back in the UK where i precisely do not wish to be. Also some of you were gloating that I would be back with her within a few months. Wrong again. Furthermore, if you deeply care for your wife I am sure you would help her out also. I solved her first problem, but gave up on her second problem. Maybe I have more patience than you but as it stands now, I have been told that I have a very good defence against her. Ok, that is not a guarantee, but if I had taken some of your advice I would have no chance. It is because of my diligence and doing things the correct way that I have a very good chance of getting my life back to normal in the Philippines.
For all the others.....Thank you for your support and encouragement. Very much appreciated in this difficult and stressful time.
Keep safe
What if you went back to her. Provided a roof over your heads and food. She drops her case. You play her game. Tell her that is all the money you have. You can still go and sit on the beach and have your cold beer. She gets nothing more. I doubt it will take long for her to tire and move out. Problem solved.
I know, I know ..... but it is possible and a way out. If it removes the court case and improves your life great. I really think you may have got to the point where you would enjoy the task of getting her to abandon you.
Good luck and try to de-stress as much as possible. It's a killer.
Nov 5th 2020, 12:07 am
#4995
In the pink
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,324
Re: Me and My Family
Some tongue in cheek "advice", but who knows.
What if you went back to her. Provided a roof over your heads and food. She drops her case. You play her game. Tell her that is all the money you have. You can still go and sit on the beach and have your cold beer. She gets nothing more. I doubt it will take long for her to tire and move out. Problem solved.
I know, I know ..... but it is possible and a way out. If it removes the court case and improves your life great. I really think you may have got to the point where you would enjoy the task of getting her to abandon you.
Good luck and try to de-stress as much as possible. It's a killer.
What if you went back to her. Provided a roof over your heads and food. She drops her case. You play her game. Tell her that is all the money you have. You can still go and sit on the beach and have your cold beer. She gets nothing more. I doubt it will take long for her to tire and move out. Problem solved.
I know, I know ..... but it is possible and a way out. If it removes the court case and improves your life great. I really think you may have got to the point where you would enjoy the task of getting her to abandon you.
Good luck and try to de-stress as much as possible. It's a killer.