Me and My Family

Old Nov 4th 2020, 8:53 am
  #4981  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: May 2017
Location: uk/manila
Posts: 126
jaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud ofjaygee68 has much to be proud of
Default Re: Me and My Family

". Furthermore, if you deeply care for your wife I am sure you would help her out also "

Stockholm Syndrome.?..Very worrrying.

jaygee68 is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 11:16 am
  #4982  
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,494
Philosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Again the "So I told you so-ers " ramble on negatively...

Feidlimid.......Re post 4893. I reiterate, I did NOT cave into her demands. As I explained carefully, this is why she got violent. If I caved into her demands then I would be with her now being leeched. You are bandying my words to suit your own purpose.

Gazza.....I have received much bad unsolicited advice here which if followed would have put me in a worse position than I am now. It would have put me in jail and deported. My problems started AFTER my marriage with the collapse of her on line business. Like the others you generalise, enlighten me with the all important piece of advice that would have seen me sitting on the beach drinking a cold beer.

Philosophical 11 is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 11:41 am
  #4983  
Crazy Cat Lady
 
moneypenny20's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,155
moneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings...

For all you "I told you so-ers" It is BECAUSE I left her that I am in this position now. Now if I had listened to some of your advice I would be in a far worse position.....or back in the UK where i precisely do not wish to be. Also some of you were gloating that I would be back with her within a few months. Wrong again. Furthermore, if you deeply care for your wife I am sure you would help her out also. I solved her first problem, but gave up on her second problem. Maybe I have more patience than you but as it stands now, I have been told that I have a very good defence against her. Ok, that is not a guarantee, but if I had taken some of your advice I would have no chance. It is because of my diligence and doing things the correct way that I have a very good chance of getting my life back to normal in the Philippines.

For all the others.....Thank you for your support and encouragement. Very much appreciated in this difficult and stressful time.

Keep safe
If you honestly believe any one who has been reading this and trying to support you and offer you help in the years that this has been going are gloating then you're missing so much it's not remotely funny. As per usual you read what you think is written, rather than what is actually being typed.
moneypenny20 is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 12:18 pm
  #4984  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 6,289
morpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond reputemorpeth has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Ten View Post
It would appear your expectations are for P11 to live his life as yourself and a few other posters dictate. To give advice is fine, P11 is a grown man and well aware of the pros and cons of his decisions. I believe he has considered all advice given here and is going with his gut instinct well aware of the consequences which could be sever.

Every situation is different and only P11 can fully understand to what degree his ex LL can and will stoop to. His decision to stay and fight for what he believes is justice is ultimately his and his alone, We should be wishing him well and offering encouragement. As previously mentioned if I was in a similar situation my endevour would be to find a compromise and I would do everything in my power to ovoid the case going to trial.

One mention from P11 i find strange is reference to a cold bed sit in UK, thought he mentioned somewhere he has 2 sons in the UK, no doubt hey could offer something better than a cold bed sit, regardless its preferable to local prison.
I have no expectations that anyone live their life as I would. I do sympathize with what he has gone through, and do well. Right or wrong my impression was/is he wasn't open to advice of others especially those with more experience or understanding of the local culture- and I do hope that perhaps on reflection he will not get himself in such a situation again.
morpeth is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 2:39 pm
  #4985  
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,494
Philosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 View Post
If you honestly believe any one who has been reading this and trying to support you and offer you help in the years that this has been going are gloating then you're missing so much it's not remotely funny. As per usual you read what you think is written, rather than what is actually being typed.
I have read what has been written. Perhaps you have not seen the posts that gloated that I will be back with her again. Now if you dont believe that I will take the time to time to reference that. I will not expect an apology from you.
Philosophical 11 is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 2:46 pm
  #4986  
Crazy Cat Lady
 
moneypenny20's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,155
moneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond reputemoneypenny20 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
I have read what has been written. Perhaps you have not seen the posts that gloated that I will be back with her again. Now if you dont believe that I will take the time to time to reference that. I will not expect an apology from you.
You see gloating. I don't. I have absolutely no reason to apologise to you for anything. If I did, you can be assured I would as anyone who knows me would confirm
moneypenny20 is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 2:52 pm
  #4987  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,353
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

ADVICE: guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action.

This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.

Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.

It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.

P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.

P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.

How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.

Last edited by Rete; Nov 4th 2020 at 2:54 pm.
Rete is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 2:55 pm
  #4988  
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,494
Philosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 View Post
You see gloating. I don't. I have absolutely no reason to apologise to you for anything. If I did, you can be assured I would as anyone who knows me would confirm

So ...you did not see the posts of those gloating that I will be back with her in a few months? If you did not I will take the time and effort to find that for you. And I dont expect an apology from you.
Philosophical 11 is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 3:11 pm
  #4989  
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,494
Philosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond reputePhilosophical 11 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
ADVICE: guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action.

This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.

Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.

It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.

P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.

P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.

How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.

Rete.....Succinctly and well put. Thank you
Philosophical 11 is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 3:35 pm
  #4990  
 
nonthaburi's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,603
nonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

The thing with advice, is that there's advice and there's advice. Some examples:

I don't think you should drive when you've had ten pints.

I think you should tell your children not to play with knives.

I don't think you should drive off that cliff.

I think you should take this medicine to stop your cancer.

And so on.....

Extreme examples, but it's obvious to everyone what the correct course of action should be. Just as it was obvious to everyone years ago that LL was bad news, and nothing good was going to come of the relationship.
nonthaburi is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 4:21 pm
  #4991  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,353
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

All of the above examples are not really advice but examples where the person expressing their opinion has the ability to correct the situation immediately, i.e.

1. Take the car keys and call him a cab or drive him home yourself;
2. Take the knife away from the child and tell them the hazard of playing with a knife;
3. Get the driver out of the car and/or call the authorities and pray they get there in time; and
4. MYOB - not everyone wants to take chemo or radiation for their cancer because they have good reasons not to; i.e. elderly person; balance of suffering to cured is not equal, etc.

The advice and opinions offered here were just that advice and opinions. No one here had the ability to stop him and more importantly, no one here was privileged to experience his emotional and intellectual thoughts while going through this. People should stop taking his inaction to their advice as an affront to them.

You can tell a drug addict or drunk not to do drugs or not to drink but it is their choice alone to indulge.
Rete is offline  
Old Nov 4th 2020, 7:20 pm
  #4992  
 
nonthaburi's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,603
nonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond reputenonthaburi has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
All of the above examples are not really advice but examples where the person expressing their opinion has the ability to correct the situation immediately, i.e.

1. Take the car keys and call him a cab or drive him home yourself;
2. Take the knife away from the child and tell them the hazard of playing with a knife;
3. Get the driver out of the car and/or call the authorities and pray they get there in time; and
4. MYOB - not everyone wants to take chemo or radiation for their cancer because they have good reasons not to; i.e. elderly person; balance of suffering to cured is not equal, etc.

The advice and opinions offered here were just that advice and opinions. No one here had the ability to stop him and more importantly, no one here was privileged to experience his emotional and intellectual thoughts while going through this. People should stop taking his inaction to their advice as an affront to them.

You can tell a drug addict or drunk not to do drugs or not to drink but it is their choice alone to indulge.
I think you're taking what I said too literally. The point is that it was obvious to everyone but P11 himself that danger lay ahead.

Yes, we all make mistakes. No one is saying we're all perfect. But to repeatedly refuse to recognise those mistakes, or to take action to rectify them says something, and to repeatedly continue to make the same mistakes says something more again.

I do not feel affronted in any way whatsoever by the actions of P11. He's been good entertainment over the years. To conflate P11's actions with the perception of people being affronted, rather overestimates the importance of a thread detailing the antics of a British pensioner in the Philippines, on an anonymous Internet forum in people's lives. 😁😁😁

I'm only writing this now because I'm sitting in a cafe killing time. P11 can do what he likes.

As he's proved.

Repeatedly.... 😂
nonthaburi is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2020, 12:04 am
  #4993  
Ten
Just Joined
 
Joined: Oct 2020
Posts: 15
Ten is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
ADVICE: guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action.

This is the meaning of advice. A mother or a father will advise a child. A doctor will advise a patient. A priest or minister will advise a parishioner. A psychologist will advise a client.

Advice is an opinion. Some based on experience. Some based on research and education. And some on instinct.

It is just that ... an opinion offered to another to perhaps help find a solution to a problem. There is nothing in an opinion offered that means the person has to do what is suggested.

P11 did what anyone of us would do if given advice ... read it, digested it, and acted as he saw fit. Do not berate him for not following your advice. Your advice is not law. Your advice is your opinion.

P11 is not writing his tale for pity. He's writing to detail what is happening in his life. If you're disgusted with the fact that he did not follow your advice, then read it and walk away and stop calling him out for what you feel is your superior view polint.

How many of you took advice on how to handle your life, your career, your romance from someone else? I doubt many here can say, I did.
Excellent post, trust P11 reads and digests this.He must make his own decisions as its his future at stake.
Ten is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2020, 12:50 am
  #4994  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 26
thaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond reputethaiing has a reputation beyond repute
Smile Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings...

For all you "I told you so-ers" It is BECAUSE I left her that I am in this position now. Now if I had listened to some of your advice I would be in a far worse position.....or back in the UK where i precisely do not wish to be. Also some of you were gloating that I would be back with her within a few months. Wrong again. Furthermore, if you deeply care for your wife I am sure you would help her out also. I solved her first problem, but gave up on her second problem. Maybe I have more patience than you but as it stands now, I have been told that I have a very good defence against her. Ok, that is not a guarantee, but if I had taken some of your advice I would have no chance. It is because of my diligence and doing things the correct way that I have a very good chance of getting my life back to normal in the Philippines.

For all the others.....Thank you for your support and encouragement. Very much appreciated in this difficult and stressful time.

Keep safe
Some tongue in cheek "advice", but who knows.
What if you went back to her. Provided a roof over your heads and food. She drops her case. You play her game. Tell her that is all the money you have. You can still go and sit on the beach and have your cold beer. She gets nothing more. I doubt it will take long for her to tire and move out. Problem solved.
I know, I know ..... but it is possible and a way out. If it removes the court case and improves your life great. I really think you may have got to the point where you would enjoy the task of getting her to abandon you.

Good luck and try to de-stress as much as possible. It's a killer.


thaiing is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2020, 1:07 am
  #4995  
In the pink
 
Mallory's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,237
Mallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond reputeMallory has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by thaiing View Post
Some tongue in cheek "advice", but who knows.
What if you went back to her. Provided a roof over your heads and food. She drops her case. You play her game. Tell her that is all the money you have. You can still go and sit on the beach and have your cold beer. She gets nothing more. I doubt it will take long for her to tire and move out. Problem solved.
I know, I know ..... but it is possible and a way out. If it removes the court case and improves your life great. I really think you may have got to the point where you would enjoy the task of getting her to abandon you.

Good luck and try to de-stress as much as possible. It's a killer.
Go back to a woman who has psychotic spells, is a thief, and likes to threaten with knives. A bit dangerous wouldn’t you say?
Mallory is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.