SanDiegogirl

There is no Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Orders (REMO) in the Philippines, so the mother cannot get any order enforced while the father is in the UK.

Red_Wine_Fairy

That is a totally abhorrent and vindictive response to the woman who started this topic. She doesn't get to skip off to another country when the relationship turned sour, but is left holding the babies alone.

If the British man had an 11 year relationship with this woman, and had children with her, then he has a moral obligation to support those children he created - end of story. If he has left her for good, he has no right, nor even a need to know, how the woman spends that money. Or do you believe he is also no longer entitled to a future relationship or to spend money on a future girlfriend (don't answer, it was rhetorical - it's obvious what you think). HE created those children and is obliged to provide for their wellbeing and education until they reach their majority. If he didn't want children, contraception is available for men too. There is no reason ever that justifies a man from just walking away financially as well as emotionally from his offspring, and to say otherwise to to do a great disservice not only to this woman, but to fathers everywhere who are in the opposite but equally distressing situation. If he were to provide financially and she were not to care for them properly, they would know the truth one day, but that is unlikely to happen as their mother is already doing her best to protect them.

scrubbedexpat099

Child support as it’s name implies is for supporting the children not the mother that would be something separate.

SanDiegogirl

Discussions regarding child support for a child who is in the Phillipines and father is in the UK is somewhat moot.
Unless mother has lots of money to spend on lawyers who can chase the UK father in the UK (and from what she has posted she has not) then she is not going to get anything from this dead beat dad and his family.
While he might be obligated to support his children, there is absolutely nothing that can be done to make him do so - just another story (of many) of Fillipino women (and others from countries in the same area) who have children by European men and get left in the lurch.

scrubbedexpat099

To be fair I have seen a lot of such Jen take on single PI mothers

Raffin

Well said, almost certainly a net "surplus" and tend to be the retired rather than the obviously younger husband of the OP. Part of the implicit contract to have a much younger wife at an older age. One estimate puts the number pf single mothers here at 2M. They're prominent on dating sites and an allowance to be made for the many others who don't say they have kids. Unfortunately being married puts off many foreigners due to the complications that could involve and the 13(a) visa not available.

scrubbedexpat099

Always surprised me that in supposedly Catholic country there were so many unmarried mothers, the general lack of divorce may be a factor.

I am not so sure about the age, yes I have seen some scary differences, old enough to be the Grandad and for reasons I can not explain just assumed he was a lot older.

I understand why it happens, lots of issues all coming together created it. Probably worse things.

Raffin

In some cases it may well look scary and the large age difference shocking, but there is a sort of contract. mainly involving substantial monetary help. In many other cases where the older Expat is healthy, experienced and active, it's money plus much other help for women ignored by local men.

scrubbedexpat099

There is nothing new in that, you only have to read Pride and Prejudice. I was thinking more the inter national aspect, which certainly was not practical for most. There are also societal changes in western culture that are kicking this in to higher gear. The Internet obviously, and no doubt a few more factors. I would think it will only expand.

The societal consequences take much longer to catch up with reality.

Raffin

No, nothing new, just on a larger scale and international...when you say it was not practical, what do you mean?

..

Raffin

Oh, a usually prolific poster goes off the boil on this one.

So, Expats old enough or nearly old enough to be their wife's grandfather can be seen in the Philippines and elsewhere. Yes, a product of various societal changes in the West and in certain developing countries. Yes, in the Philippines no divorce is a legal factor with some influence on this.
People usually try to make domestic arrangements that are beneficial to both parties. Coercion hardly ever involved.
I'm giving you another chance to tell us why these international arrangements were "not practical for most".

scrubbedexpat099

It was not that long ago when the furthest you might expect to get was Benidorm for 2 weeks, halfway around the world for most would be unbelievable, well in the context of a relationship.

Grandfather was an extreme example, just came across that situation once and thought it was somewhat odd but if it works for the parties that is all that matters.

I do not know if most are Expats, from the US perspective it seems that a lot of ex Military might retire there, I do know Manila processes by far the largest number of fiancee visas.

We are getting somewhat off topic, I seriously doubt anybody planned, expected these sorts of consequences, how various lets say developments interacted with each other.

Raffin

So to sum up no practical problems you can relate.

scrubbedexpat099

I have come across this sort of situation a few times, how common it is I do not know.

The most common issue I have seen is where the US Spouse does not realise he is effectively marrying the family and the financial consequences that come with it. I would have thought that was fairly obvious.

I have heard of Tampo.

Raffin

Yes, a general issue with Expat marriages here, well documented on BE. Interestingly I have both a step daughter and step son, pure Filipino, who also greatly under estimated the in-law influence when they married!

But I thought we were on the older Expat with much younger Filipina angle?