Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Well

My honeymoon/holiday period is fading fast.

I've started to notice little things that are beginning to annoy me

1. Rubbish holiday leave entitlement
2. My job totally sucks - this is the main problem. All i do is have meetings about meetings and no one likes making decisions. It bores me to death and sucks the life out of me. I've already had a go at one person at work who questioned my attitude, so in true Gallagher brothers style i said 'your NZ way of doing things is total rubbish'. It wasnt my proudest moment i admit, but i needed to let off steam. The Kiwi's i work with are obsessed with work. I'm a slacker at heart and i'm not prepared to work my ass off for a job i have no interest in.
3. Finding it hard to make friends. I get on well with most people at work and we do go for a drink after work quite often. But its the weekends where its a bit tougher. My housemates are cool, but i dont want to hang around with them all the time. I'm a little stuck, in that i've never really had to make the effort to make mates before and now i have, its bit of a culture shock. Getting a little homesick too i guess as xmas approaches, but no surprises when you move to the other side of the world on your own.


I've applied for a 2 year permit, thats where my passport is at now. That will give me a multiple entry visa. I intend to visit Australia as soon as possible on holiday. May as well check it out whilst i'm down here. But i doubt i'll be here for the 2 years. I'll be driving around the North Island at xmas to see as much as possible.

I'm not going to go for PR, the way i'm feeling at the moment. I aim to do around 9 months to a year in NZ so that it looks good on my CV and then head elsewhere. I'll go travelling for a few months then think about getting a job in Europe somewhere.

Some things are not as easy as they seem.
Its not awful, but its not totally great either. Some days are amazing. But i'd say in a week, 2 days great, 5 days not so. Not good enough for my liking.

Bergkamp

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Sorry you're finding life hard. We never know how things will turn out until we take that chance and go for it.
Could you look at changing jobs? I presume you have a work visa and as far as I know you can transfer to another job as long as it fits into one of the categories of visa. Another workplace may well be totally different, no different to the UK in that respect.

If you need to let off steam, it may be better to have a rant on here; most of us have emigrated and will have been there and understand how you feel a lot better than your average kiwi. Hell, even I had a good rant a few months back and I tend to let everything flow over me normally- a workplace situation pushed all the wrong buttons and I needed to do something or scream at the boss [not a good move when everyone knows everyone else in my small profession!]

As for finding friends, I know exactly where you're coming from. At least I have my NZ other half but I am having trouble getting to meet and know other people. Not sure what the solution to that is as yet...

Leave entitlement is crap over here, any chance you could get unpaid leave? I always had 5 weeks a year back in the UK and I would be asking any potential employer about how feasible it was to take 1-2 weeks a year off unpaid to get myself some decent holiday time. Luckily I don't have the Xmas shutdown to contend with, it would not be possible in my job due to the guidelines and legislation we work under. Still means you get less pay but it depends on your level of pay to start with, whether you can afford it and what you value the most.

Anyway hope life starts to turn in your favour soon. It is hard to emigrate and sometimes it is not the right decision and other times it takes some work to get to where you want to be. Good luck wherever you end up, you may even stay over here you never know!

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

All right that's work done! What about outside work?:confused:

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Well outside work isnt too great as i've only got 3 friends so far

The problem is its hard to make friends therefore boredom/lonliness/a little homesickness is starting to creep in

I've been driving round checking many places and sights out - but it would be good to do something different from time to time

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Yes I can see what you mean. I moved 7 miles from Leamington Spa to Kenilworth and changed jobs at the same time and had exactly the same problem. The difference is I'm married and that does not leave too much boredom time. I did take up a motorcycling activity that enabled me to make friends via a local club. Hopefully with the large choice of outdoor activities in NZ you will be able to do likewise.....:fingerscrossed:

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

I can understand how your feeling in many ways.
I've been here for 4 months and I'm lucky in at least I love my job, I work with a great bunch of people and I get on really well with everyone. My only work 'issue' would be that my salary doesn't go as far as I imagined. I'm also here on my own and I guess I didn't expect to have to buy a 3 bedroom house with a pretty high rent to find a house that I was willing to love in.
Maybe my standards are too high and I'm freely willing to admit that but I wasn't really willing to come home alone to an empty house that made me miserable so I had to pay more and get more space than I planned for.

But, I sympathise totally with the social side of things. I have a couple of friends that I go for coffee with but its the lack of 'long term' friends that I find hard. I also dont really know how to start meeting friends as an adult (kids have it soo easy!) I've done a few things, joined the newcomers network, gone along to the local badminton club etc but its how to go from 'forced' social chat to actual friendships that I find difficult. I'm hoping its just something that'll come with time but who knows.

I'm also just not sure I'm cut out for the kiwi way of life. I've quickly discovered that I like the availability of 'stuff' like decent clothes shops and big stores and affordable organic food that I just cant find here. I like to be able to go sit in a coffee shop at 7pm with a book (they all close at 4 here) and no, I don't want to go mountain biking or kayaking and yes I do think $9 for a beer in the pub is excessive.

I have a 3yr work permit as that was the fastest way to get here at the time (was in the process of putting in my ITA but a relationship breakup meant I wanted to leave asap). My original plan was to get PR pretty much straight away but I'm having second thoughts about that now. I'm thinking now that I might stay for a year or so and then investigate elsewhere in NZ or possibly Oz. I'm a midwife so I'm lucky that the job situation means I can find jobs pretty much all over which makes things easier.

Who knows though, sometimes I think my life here is almost as good as it was back home and I just need to suck it up and get on with it and other times I think there must be something/somewhere better than this.

Hopefully in time we'll both be happy with our destination, where ever they may be.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

A Kiwi friend of mine told me quite bluntly..."If you like city life don't come to NZ as over here you have to make your own entertainment and if you can't do that it won't work" This is the sole principal we are working on.;)

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

I totally agree and my original plan was just that, to come over here and make my own entertainment doing new things and going new places. But, my original plan also included going and seeing those things with someone else so when your left to do it alone its really not all that easy.
I definitely under estimated the impact of 'going it alone'. It's easy for people to say get out and about and find things to do and I've done that but its not easy being the single person trailing around tourist places, getting the 'poor you' looks and the 'oh, just one' remarks when you buy tickets/ask for tables etc.

I know this is my issue and I'm sure its clouding my opinions at the moment but its not something that's going to change any time soon so I need to find some way to work around it and if that means finding somewhere a bit more 'lively' to base myself then that might be the way to go.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Best of luck finding your solution.....:fingerscrossed:

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

It is hard to make new friends but honestly...that can happen anywhere. I have gone through that in Chelmsford and felt thoroughly miserable.

It has taken me many many years to make friends here and if I could, I would have done it differently at the outset.
The old "join a club" thing sounds old fashioned but really works. I have done Vicitm support, toast masters and many others and picked up friends along the way. You have to not be shy and be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs really.

I felt like everything was inferior when I got here but that was just a defensive thing cos I felt so miserable. Banging on about how great the UK was didn't help me to make friends!

good luck though BK...I hope that it gets better for you

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

I believe i can cope with work sucking as i just get on with it and try and do as little as possible. Everyone at work get on well as a group, so for me to jump in is tough.

I'll try and join some clubs etc and see how it goes.

I'm 25 and i like going out - but i've never been on a night out on my own and doubt i'd meet the kind of folks i'd call friends as well (once they are sober)

I agree with a lot of things lisamct said - even chilling out and reading a book on an evening is impossible in Welly. The little changes seem very big at the moment.

The weather is great, i'm away from the Midlands - just need some folks to socialise with, otherwise i'll become a relcuse and thats not what i want.

I'm planning on joining some travelbuddy site to hopefully see parts of NZ over xmas and for my trip to Aus in March.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Good luck to both of you.......luckily I had my OH with me to share the up's & down's of 'living' in NZ, and I can only imagine how hard it would have been if I'd been on my own :blink:
When we came back to the UK an 'old' friend, who's son lives in Perth, summed up the friendship thing, she said 'at our age, if you emigrate it's difficult to find 'old friends'....:fingerscrossed: in time you'll both make some 'old friends' and find an 'in road' to get you there.:lol:

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

That pretty much sums it up exactly for me. I'm actually more than happy to have friends that I just coffee and chat with, thats all I did with most of my friends back home but its the absence of friends that 'know it all already' that I miss.
It'd be good to just not always having to start from scratch with everyone..I guess I knew that would be the case but didn't expect the reality of it to be so difficult.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

hey lisa i'm hopefully passing through Taupo and Rotorua after xmas on my drive around the north island - i'll give you a shout if your about!

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Hi I know how you feel, I was having second thoughts after three months which was just long enough for the honeymoon period to well and truely wear off.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

For me it goes in peaks and troughs. I still don't have a job, but I am starting to get a social circle. I find that I'll now chat to anyone, cos at this point beggars can't be choosers!!! (I've been here 4 months)

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

what did you do in the end Persia?

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Totally understand where you're coming from. This is my 2nd go at migrating here. !st was 1988 and lived in Lower Hutt. For numerous reasons went back but my wife felt the need so we're here again this time in ChCh. The can-do thing gets to me. Usually find it's can-do without a clue! I tend to come under can-do but don't want to! Can't speak for Welly these days but I find people in ChCh a bit insecure. Friendly enough at first but tend to withdraw when they hear my accent. It's hard to explain to people back home how this isn't quite the utopia that it seems over there. That said, I can't see London being a place I want to get old in so It's either the rock or the hard place by the looks of it. Be lucky.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

2nd time round for me too, we lived in Welly and found it really hard to amke friends, I loved my job but this was not enough, I am now in Auckland somewhere I thought I never would be I am not a city girl but am loving it as each suburb is like a little village we live up the North Shore and just being out of the city is great, but I am not into clubbing etc so that suits me. I did find Welly people strange and some realy prejudice I have not found that here.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Good to hear your thoughts on Welly. Thought it was just me. Christchurch a bit like that as well but now I'm older it doesn't bother me as much. Auckland sounds interesting. Wanted to avoid the big city life too but what you say may make it an option if things don't work out here

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

i havent felt and prejudice yet
Even though i'm brit/asian

Just hard to meet folks i feel a connection with

I'll make more effort in 2011 to get out there and meet people
i'm not giving up - just finding it harder than i thought

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Sorry to hear you're having difficulties, it must be tough on your own.

Are there any Expats meet ups where you are? I know not evberyone wants to move 12,000 miles and then socialise with fellow emigrees, but I think it could be a great starting point? Have you thried to post a thread in the "Meet Ups" section perhaps?

Sorry, I am on a friend's ancient slow PC, but you say you're going to be doing some travelling around the NI, have you had a look at a website called something like sofa surfers or similiar? Ahhh, it's here ... Might be worth a look.

Whatever, you have a wonderful Christmas in as much as you can.:thumbsup:

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Husband decided to look for a job in Australia. He moved over at the end of July to start work, set up a house etc. and the rest of us followed a week later. I can honestly say it was the best move we ever made.

How are you doing now?

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

So, We arrive in March!!! What is the leave situation???

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Depends on where you work eh? But it appears to be a given that hols in NZ are pretty crap..especially when many are 'made' to take their hols during the xmas period. See my thread on food prices I have just written and see the replies to that one. That may also be something for you to be aware of.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Husband = 4 weeks leave a year.

Two weeks compulsory for Christmas and New Year.
Other two weeks to be taken as and when the employer states during the winter months due to quiet work times.

If we need to have leave time then it has meant we have to take it unpaid.
One holiday for us in the past 7 years, however, we have needed to make UK returns for family reasons which has been unpaid leave.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Hey Bevs that is exactly how the UK delegated holidays to all of it's industries with any connection to the motor manufacturing trades. Only difference is the UK Christmas and New Year hols fell at the coldest period so vast savings were made on heating bills and the workforce all stayed indoors.....:thumbdown: (used to be the pub until beer prices escalated).
Now there is no UK motor trade............:ohmy:

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Sounds the same as the UK but without the Bank holidays?

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Yes, you are still entitled to the public holiday too. It depends on whether you would nomally work on that day etc, but you do get them.

Gill

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

its getting better since i made this thread

went backpacking around the north island till today and it was great

i just need to win the lotto now so i can quit work, become a lazy bum who likes the odd holiday now and again! Love the sunny weather. Met some cool people whilst travelling so hopefully i can keep in touch with them.

I really like Taupo - nice to see the sun set on the lake

Hopefully 2011 will be better, with the chance to build my network of friends.

Still no idea of how long i'l be in town. I think i've realised i'm a nomad at heart lol

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Great way to see a bit of the place and staying in backpackers you usually meet some good folk. Some are on big trips,so watch out you might be inspired !
There's some great weekenders you can take from Welly (Or Auckland) so with 3 months summer lined up fill your boots. Enjoy. I used to have a Honda Fireblade/backpack/lightweight tent (just in case) and just set off there's no feeling like it.
P.S. Keep the faith (Vs Man City Weds night COYG !!)

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Yes I know. I was there way back in the 70's when this was the norm.One would have hoped we had all moved on from that. It hasn't been that way for my husband's relatives in the Midlands ( who work within industry) for several decades now .

Personally , we'd like to be able to be allowed to choose when 2 of the weeks can be taken.

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

oh too hot and bothered in Auckland and just plain grumpy - best left unsaid.

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I wish I was a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum.
'Cos how can you be grumpy, When the sun shines out your bum! :wub:

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Quality!! :rofl:

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Can't we get one of those little 'like' buttons like they have on facebook?

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Go watch Wellington Phoenix - oh yeah you said something not boring;)

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I have managed to stay up very late or skive work in the morning to see Arsenal

Will do the same for Arsenal vs Barca

Arsenal always comes before work in my opinion

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

Too right mate!:thumbup:

Re: Second Thoughts 2 Months In...
 

I'll 2nd that... c'mon The Arsenal :thumbup: hoping to get to a few more games before we leave in September :thumbsup: