asher

Ten good reasons to become a nurse


1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms.
3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive"
4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually.
5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases.
6) Interesting aromas.
7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.
8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work.
10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

Fiona67

Never a truer word spoken

lancs nurse

here here x

madmidwife

So true

jaca

hiya got another one for you

US NURSES

*Us Nurses*

*Your finger has gone places you never thought possible*

*You have seen more penises than any prostitute*

*You would like to meet the inventor of the buzzer some night in a dark alley*

*Your sense of humour gets more warped each year*

*Almost everything can seem humorous......eventually*

*You know the smell of different diarrhoea to identify it*

*You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know*

*You check the caller id on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work*

*You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up*

*You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing*

*Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you*

*You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult"*

*You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your co-worker and to call if they need help*

*You can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones*

*You can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spaghetti with lots of tomato sauce*

*Your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up*

*Everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have*

*You want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors*


*Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank*

*You find yourself checking out other customers veins in the grocery waiting lines*

*You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers for fear they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off*

asher

OMG that is absolutely fabulous I can't tell you the amount of times my mates have said phwoar he was good looking and I have only thought heyy I could get a large bore cannula in that!!
after 27 years of nursing I can glance at a willie and tell you what size conveen to use!

I have an answerphone for days off the only bit thats untrue is telling the alzheimer patient I am my co worker, I would never do that ......honest

lancs nurse

ha ha, excellent where do you find them so true!

yjx1nt7

I love the one of smelling the feaces it is so true !!! Also telling a confused patient your co worker s name!!!!! And yes I ve never done that

madmidwife

Can I swap that for * you've seen more vag**** than a gigolo*