My husband and I are talking about moving back to the UK. We have two girls, one already at school the other starting next year.

New Zealand is a great country to live and bring up kids but we miss family support.

we have been here for 4 years now.

Having kids and being away from family support is really hard. Have you been back to the UK since you have arrived? A holiday in the UK, might help you decide.

Stay 1 more year ... get citizenship ... then go.

Good to bring up kids but crap for when they get to 18. I would have hated living here in my young days as I liked going clubbing and stuff, all good if your into sports and nothingness.

Anyway I like it here just my eldest never has and has
not done good here.

But on a brighter note, I never know what the future will hold, hopefully when we can get out of Wangas will be better.

And not being funny but If you really need family support and are going to miss it dont move.

Get citenzhip first though

What's the point of staying an extra year, getting the youngest in school, forking out for citizenship which may be declined. There's very few benefits to being a kiwi away from the Pacific nations.
If you want family support, an easy entry to Australia is not much use either unless the whole tribe would emigrate there as well.
Go to UK, settle down, put NZ down as an experience that you at least had the balls to give a good go. I may knock the ping pongs, but have far more respect for them than the passport grabbers.

Ah! That is such a tough decision to make. On one hand you get to give your kids the kind of childhood I had back in the UK 60's when there were far less people and 'things'. On the other hand you find yourself gradually becoming distanced from your immediate family and all the joy that brings with it.

There have been a few young families making a move to the UK from NZ of late.
Hopefully they will be along soon to share their views.

Whatever you decide, good on you for having the spirit of adventure and good on you for having the same spirit to think to make a huge move once again.

ps : I am undecided on the NZ citizenship thing for you and yours. If you feel that you would want to return later or are not sure if the UK be altogether for you despite close proximity to family, then stay and gain citizenship. It is one more year & ensures you a place here.

Being a ping ponger my self , I would most certainly get citizenship 1st, I have been back in the uk for 12 years, and it was the right thing to do for those twelve years , however circumstances change nd now I/ we are heading back to nz to live . I have had another child since coming back to the uk and he now has nz citizenship also ....don't shut the door completely on what is not right for you now , leave it ajar with your kiwi passport, you never know when you might need to get back in . Hope this helps

There are some very good reasons: 1 it keeps the possibility of returning to live in NZ open FOREVER; 2 it means the next generation can move out here should the choose; 3 the kids, though young now, will soon grow and may thank their parentals for the chance to come back here, perhaps for uni, perhaps for some other period of their lives.

Given it takes a while to sort getting back to the UK anyway, it might be worth holding out for citizenship. Having said that we are in the middle of relocating back to the UK and we won't be waiting for me to get my citizenship (it's complicated but despite emigrating 6 yrs ago, only the kids and dh have citizenship- I'm not entitled until April 2014 ) but I do have irrv- I wouldn't want to leave NZ without knowing I could come back because I'll be leaving a little bit of my heart here for another time

In the end, despite the obvious benefits of NZ (that I will be sobbing into my pillow over once back in the UK), we just couldn't reconcile with the growing distance between our extended family and us. It's a personal decision for each family to make and I would never judge anyone for which way they jump because all families and family dynamics are different- and also families change over time! If I go back now I get to be an Auntie to my sibling's kids that have arrived in our absence and that means much, much more to me now it's an actuality than I thought it would when we tried to consider the future years ago back in the UK contemplating emigrating.

Here's my musings when I shared our decision, something in there might help you: http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=770702

(all the above is directed at the OP, just using the posts of others to springboard thoughts off)

We are heading back to the UK after 3 years. For similar reasons – extended family and missing the strong friendship bonds we have over in the UK. My son is now 8 and he has such a close bond with both sets of grandparents in the UK, we now know that it is the right thing to do. He really misses just being with Gran and Pops. We just spent a month back in Scotland (I had a job interview so we took advantage and went over as a family) and we have never felt so sure about anything in our lives: ‘it is time to head home’. Just watching our children with the family and feeling connected again was profound. We have a 4 year old daughter and she needs to have those important family connections that we feel we stole from her.
Both my husband and I have struggled to find permanent employment and although we came over with PR due to our skills, we have slid down our respective career slides. We did not come to NZ because we were unhappy in the UK, we just wanted to give life here a go. (We spent 5 months in NZ before we had our children) We were hoping to be able to afford to go back to the UK at least once a year, but the jobs security never came and with time, reality hits home.
Our first year in NZ was quite positive; we still had lots of hope! The following 2 years have been a bit of a struggle and have given us much food for thought. At 6am on the last morning of our recent month in the UK, I took the in-laws dog for a walk across the Glen, it was stunning and as I sat taking in the views the tears just rolled. I knew I was home and the sense of ease that came over me sealed the decision for me. We made the final decision as a family when I was offered the job and it was unanimous for a return to the UK.
This is the right decision for us - many people on this site face the same dilemma, it is a very complex and subjective decision. Personally we need to start living now, our future is in the UK and we have no real ties to NZ so we have no thoughts of returning to live. I am sure as the years go by we will long for a visit but we would be more than happy with a holiday here. We didn’t live in an oppressive overcrowded part of the UK, we had stunning scenery, a good social life and most of all we had a wonderful supportive family and friends – who are already planning our coming home party! One door closes and another opens. Go with your heart and what feels right for your family.

+ 1 Here here. Good post. Good luck for the future. You'll be home in time for a proper winter Christmas. (Lucky sod !) I mean, well done you. Hope your packing, sorting, moving, leaving and arriving goes ok.

Still on a downer hey Debbie?

Thank you all for the time you have spent to write a response it is very much appreciated. We will both make a decision and go with our heart on what to do. Thanks again

Family support is very important and it's hard on kids to grow up without having their extended family around them. That feeling of connectedness should not be underestimated, it helps to anchor them in a community and gives them a sense of belonging. Kids adapt best where they feel they fit in.

IMO Great Britain is also a great country to live in and bring up kids, as is the one where I live now, which of us would chose an area that wasn't?

Did your extended family move to Queensland as well?

Family support is great but alas we all have to make choices and some of us have to forgo said closeness. We have no support and or family in NZ..our kids miss folk but I do not believe for one minute that they are 'suffering' in any way by not being close to rellies. We had very, very little connection with our extended family as kids my siblings and I and we are relatively well adjusted. Of course in the perfect world we would all live where WE wanted to with our rellies but life ain't like that and sometimes we have to 'crack iggs' as they say. As mentioned, kids adapt and are more 'sturdy' than we imagine.