rebeccainnz

oh, thanks!

i've sent you a message....

I'm new to this!

Boopy

Good luck Rebecca. We have a good community here in Welly - you don't need to move. Once you meet the crowd on Saturday you'll be set.

rebeccainnz

Oh thanks. Maybe I should have joined you guys 2 years ago!

Lexylou

You handing out the rules on what people can and cannot say on their first post eh? (its not exactly a cheerful fluffy thread is it???)


NOTE - new users please refer to the lapsed kiwi rule book

southerner

I think you might want to get a bit of a raincheck on this decision.

A lot of immigrants really don't know that they want to live in NZ forever until after their first trip home. Often its only then that it is clear where your heart really is. You never know, you may end up feeling as strongly as your boyfriend now does.

I agree with one of the other posters, which country you live in is like agreeing whether you both want kids, its fundamental to your life together. Sometimes that means one person has to compromise - if its true love.

cherry

Sorry to disagree with you all but you should not do your washing in public and to be fair we have not heard the other side of the story from your OH.Going to a bbq and getting pissed and making a decision from there is in my opinion not the right thing to do.Go to the bbq by all means and meet people and chat but I would keep my private life very private as far as splitting up goes you both need to sit down and talk together not to people you met at a forum or a bbq then make the decision to stay and try to make it work or say goodbye and return to the UK .See a counciller if you really want to make a try of it but not the forum members who may take sides or try to make a decision for you which may turn out to be the wrong one We are here to help one another but when it gets as personal as this professional unbiased help is the best.
Sorry if you dont like my answer but it is just an option I just hope you make the right decision

rebeccainnz

Thank you Cherry.

You are probably right. I have talked to him, for weeks! And to my friends. But it is just nice sometimes to hear the point of view from people who are
a. completely uninvolved
b. have some understanding of the situation (ie expats)

I have thoght about counselling but for a reason i won't go into, i don't think the OH would do it.

I just feel like I am at the last chance saloon and want to hear every point of view before I respond to his ultimatum. Sometimes it's hard seeing the wood for the trees.

I see your point though. Afterall, this is what forum's are for - everyone can give their opinion.

cherry

I think you just need to make some new friends right now and then tackle the situation after .Perhaps the OH could be with you at the bbq. .Making friends here has been our biggest priority and we have made some fantastic friends inc Kiwi`s who are great but I think are a little less forward in inviting us to their homes as we are .Enjoy the forum and make friends here and go for the general chit chat about New Zealand not the personal stuff ,We all have or have had issues here of some sort or other but in general I think we get by ok.Meet the gang and I am sure you will have a great time ,we are away so maybe another time to meet up .
Ray and Diane x

danny.f

[QUOTE=cherry;4595761]I think you just need to make some new friends right now and then tackle the situation after .Perhaps the OH could be with you at the bbq. .Making friends here has been our biggest priority and we have made some fantastic friends inc Kiwi`s who are great but I think are a little less forward in inviting us to their homes as we are .Enjoy the forum and make friends here and go for the general chit chat about New Zealand not the personal stuff ,We all have or have had issues here of some sort or other but in general I think we get by ok.Meet the gang and I am sure you will have a great time ,we are away so maybe another time to meet up .
Ray and Diane x[/QU
Nah,stuff that. Get pissed and tell us everything!

cherry

Danny .Hic ,Getting pished is the ansa,sh** I meant lets get Pi*** and screw the F***%£N well you know the rest .

Have a great Barby will miss not being there .The boat is just a short while away it will be here for next summers pleasure and of course the FISHING
Bloody Liverpudlian piss artist ,I have to keep up with you just to post here .Love you both

lapsed kiwi

Sorry - was that you as well? I get confused by all your user names.

Lexylou

ha... your a funny one. All my user names? , sorry, is two far to much with you to cope with????

I have ONE active user name, as you know, but obviously you enjoy hearing me repeat myself so I wont let you down.

Lexylou

and what do you mean 'was that you as well?' does not make any sense to me at all. Not that I am surprised.

Wilma & co

Anyway, getting back to Rebecca - come along on Saturday (with or without other half), get totally put off kids by seeing all ours on a suger high after the egg hunt talk if you want, listen to all our valid opinions (seeing as we don't know either of you!) and then it's up to YOU to make YOUR decision.
None of us know what tomorrow will bring and we all have to make choices, some turn out to be good and some bad, but only you can (and should) make decisions about what's best for you and your future.
Hope to see you on Saturday - keep your chin up! Alison

danny.f

Only 22 posts-but you don't waste them Al.