Mandie

Hi All
Thank you all sooooo much for taking the time to support me and let me know your views...i do really appreciate them.

I have calmed down somewhat since i last posted and feel much calmer and less likely to do something rash that i'll later regret.

I know i can't and won't make him do something that he doesn't want to do as that wouldn't do either of us any good...life does go on and it's now down to me to make the most of what i've got and enjoy what i do to the fullest...think a fab family holiday will be next on my list...cruise round the greek islands sounds like a good compromise, for now anyway!!!!!

i still feel disappointed and i'm sure some days will be better than others, although not sure how i will feel when my contract for the job i had lined up in NZ comes, which should be with me in the next week or so, so i may feel different when that comes along, but i know i can't walk round with a face like a smacked arse all my life...that just wouldn't be me, as i'm normally a happy go lucky sort of person.

will keep you posted and let you know when the ice maiden has fully thawed out!!!

thanks again, you are all truly brilliant
Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year to you all
Luv Mandie

Rascal

Glad to hear you have calmed down and are feeling much more relaxed about the whole thing. A cruise around the Greek islands sounds just soooooo nice!
We are off to work in Malta next year and I really, really cant wait!
All the best for Christmas and the New Year.

Dirk1971

Why don't you say to your hubby you are going over for 6 months to check it out?

Rascal

While it sounds good in theory, I think Mandie has kids. That's where the problems arise.
Does she leave them behind in Uk for 6 months with their father, friends, family, schools, etc or does she uproot them for 6 months to NZ leaving her husband alone?
Its not easy when you have other family members to consider, I would have long since left NZ if I didn't have kids to think about!
But a good suggestion all the same Dirk.

Dirk1971

The problem is the resentment which can and will build when someone has decided to be so passively agressive.

In my case, I was married, but seperated , and had a five year old , when I decided to come over. Before we seperated my wife put the Kybosh on my plans to emigrate and I couldn't handle it. Without going into a lot of details, I had a very very unhappy 7 year relationship with her. I saw my Son at weekends towards the end.


Do I regret that decision? Well I have missed out on seeing my son for the last seven years. I have visited four times (to the UK) all up now. My son loves me, but it is incredibly difficult to build a relationship with him.

Sometimes in life you have to make difficult decisions. I asked my parents for guidance and they both told me to go. That made the decision easier.

Obviously I have regrets, and went through a huge guilt trip the first couple of years. It really tore me up. But I knew in my heart I had to do it.

Maz

Wow, I'm so sorry Dirk. The ONE THING I could never ever bring myself to do is leave my child. She's my life, my reason for living. I don't think I could survive for very long without her. Gosh, I'm starting to well up... I think I'll get her early from pre-school today.

Dirk1971

Not many people can. For Father's I think it is easier. I looked at my circumstances and reached a very cold, hard, logical decision. It's done and dusted and in the past and I live with it.

Mandie

Rascal is right i have two children aged 15 & 12, with the 15yr old doing her GCSE's so a move for just 6months wouldn't be practical. I wouldn't consider leaving them in uk for that period of time either.

I was away from them for 5 weeks in june while working in nz and it was terrible as i missed them so much it's not something i'd want to do again.

take care mandie

Rascal

I should say Good Luck to all of us for the future we all chose/decide.
Like Dirk, I will be leaving a 18 year old behind in NZ next year, something that is not going to be easy (for me) and my reasons are that my eldest was killed in a car crash in 1995 -age 18! So, I keep thinking about 'what if' if we decide to return to the Uk and we are 12k miles away from him, hence after the Malta stint, we are going to compromise and go to Oz. Its somewhere we ALL want to be. That makes things easier. and I will feel a whole lot better being fairly close to him.
One thing we are certain of, is that we definately want out of NZ though.
Good Luck to everyone, Merry Xmas.

Maz

Oh Rascal, what a horrible, senseless loss, I'm so sorry for you and your family.

I should probably add that my littl'un is still little, only 5, so she rather needs me.

Rascal

Yeh, even at 18, they are still your 'babies' even at 6'2"!
Therefore Oz became our 2nd choice to live over the UK.

Mandie

I'm so sorry to hear about your son, the thought of it is enough to make me tearful. Will being thinking of you in Malta, keep in touch. take care Mandie x

Dirk1971

Why are you leaving NZ? Reason I ask cos im thinking about it too. So many people I know have gone to OZ. Am I jealous. Oh yeah. Especially when they tell me how great it is

Rascal

January hopefully! Mr R will fly to London first for 2 weeks then on to Malta, I will join him later once I have sorted things out here that need to be sorted before I go. Then once the project is finished (or when they can get a replacement) we will transfer to their Ozzie offices. They have offices in all the major cities in Oz so can take out pick, but it is more than likely going to be Brisbane.

Rascal

Yes, keep in touch will look forward to seeing where you eventually end up.