jill1420

Cheers. Will keep you updated.

Izzy and Ian

Hi Jill

I hope you have 'turned the corner' but if not please think on the words my mother gave me recently. "Carry you dreams in your head and people in your heart".

She said this in response to the news that my father-in-law has just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer - 8 weeks before our PR visa arrived and they expect him to last about 3 months.

The past few weeks have been really hard for us, should we go, should we stay. How do you say goodbye to someone you know you will never see again? How do you start a new life when one you love so dearly is ending?

It was with the heaviest heart that my husband set foot on the lane on Monday, knowing that the man he is so like will not be there next time he visits the family home.

Some days the only thing that keeps us on our plan to emigrate is knowing that we will always carry the people we love in our hearts.... no matter where we are.... no matter whether they are on this earth or gone. And one thing is for certain, there is no second time around for any of us. Make the most of your opportunities, now whilst they are there.

I hope this thought helps you in your own loss!

jill1420

Cheers Izzy. It helps to share a problem. Will keep you all posted. Best wishes on your adventure.

kato33

Jill, you know we are thinking of you. I can say no more than has been said by countless others on here, some who have been through this terrible experience themselves.

You know where I am if you need a chat, will PM you my mum's home number.

The offer still, and will stand whenever you come over.

madmidwife

Deepest sympathies for your loss. Cann't imagine the heart wrenching pull of your dream versus leaving family. Is there any way you can continue the process of preparing to move to NZ and defer it once you get the go ahead? That way you don't have to start from the beginning once/ if your husband decides to make a go of it.

jill1420

To be honest we are ready for the off........just about. Need to start lease on house put furniture in storage, work our notice, say goodbye and thats it.

Done all the research. Have found somewhere that we fancy settling with some friendly people in the area willing to help us settle in and also a job for hubby in pipeline.

It couldnt get much better for us really as we dont have skills required for PR.

I said to OH last night that I was thinking of booking Florida for our summer holiday if we arent heading to NZ..................and that will cost £6,000 ish.................I pointed out that that amount of money would get us out to NZ, pay deposit on rental, get us bits and bobs to get settled.

It certainly made him think that 2 weeks in Florida would be a waste right now compared to an adventure like that.

Fingers crossed he sees it my way when he gets in from work.

Dont get me wrong I usually call the shots (I just kid him on that its him). But I know he is not being deliberately unreasonable.......................he just feels so low about the young death of a great guy.

Walls Family

hi Jill, yesterday i was involved in a car crash with my kids, luckily noone seriously hurt.. just extremely soar and brused.. thank god.. anyway feel like have had a second chance.. we moved here 5 months ago and i have had homesickness and it makes you realise how far from "home" you are... what i am trying to say is, yes you must follow your dreams, but, give your husband time and space to greave too. It must be right for both of you. I just think that if you come over when your not absolutely sure it would end up being the wrong thing. Have you thought about bereavement councilling? that may help. I hope you understand what i am trying to say PM me if you like.. Good~luck with what you decide to do..x

jill1420

Thanks for your reply. Trying to be very gentle as I know pushing would be the wrong thing. Just getting scared as we have a bill (not tax or anything illegal)to pay if we are staying and it needs to paid soon. So clock ticking. We wont/dont need to pay if we are leaving as we are giving up the rights on it so to speak. Just that and a few other things hanging in balance that need to be sorted. Cheers, Jill.

p.s. Thank goodness your all ok................Unusual surname (well in my area anyway)........thats my best friends maiden name. Best Wishes to you