Moving back

Old Jul 28th 2023, 3:52 pm
  #1  
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Default Moving back

Hi all

Just wondering if anyone has recently made the move from NZ back to the UK? And how you feel about it. Once again we’re contemplating a return, this time with a toddler, dog and a whole house worth of stuff in tow. We’re just finding the lack of family so hard at the moment. Back story - have lived here since 2009, met now husband here 2013, moved briefly to Uk (Lake District where husband is from) for just under a year in 2016 as he missed home, had a baby during lock down 2021 covid times so was super hard not having any family able to visit until he was over a year old. Currently struggling with the idea he’s going to grow up without any family other than the odd (very expensive!) visit back when we can. Also to note we love living here, but also were pretty happy and settled in the lakes Uk by the time we came back here in 2017 so I know we could be again…
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Old Jul 28th 2023, 7:56 pm
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by rejc86
Hi all

Just wondering if anyone has recently made the move from NZ back to the UK? And how you feel about it. Once again we’re contemplating a return, this time with a toddler, dog and a whole house worth of stuff in tow. We’re just finding the lack of family so hard at the moment. Back story - have lived here since 2009, met now husband here 2013, moved briefly to Uk (Lake District where husband is from) for just under a year in 2016 as he missed home, had a baby during lock down 2021 covid times so was super hard not having any family able to visit until he was over a year old. Currently struggling with the idea he’s going to grow up without any family other than the odd (very expensive!) visit back when we can. Also to note we love living here, but also were pretty happy and settled in the lakes Uk by the time we came back here in 2017 so I know we could be again…
Hi,
I made the move back in 2008. I wish we could have stayed in NZ but i was quite ill and caring for our family (had 4 under 6 at the time) with no support was really difficult. I regret not staying for the 2 yrs and gaining permanent residency. But you can't put a price on your kids having their grandparents in their lives either. We live around the corner from them and as they grew up would nip down on their own to see them. We lost a fortune when we came back with the housing market crash and had to start from scratch. But after 15 yrs we are now thinking about Austrailia :-). However, my parents are getting older now....So we may go to Wales instead!
Wales instead!

Good luck with your journey

K



Last edited by Karen21; Jul 28th 2023 at 8:23 pm.
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Old Jul 30th 2023, 8:07 am
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Default Re: Moving back

I lived in NZ from 2011 to 2016. My Kiwi husband and I left Surrey in Feb 2011 to live in NZ and ended up in Whanganui as a result of his job offer. We sold our house in the UK, shipped our possessions to NZ and moved into the house we purchased in Sept 2011. My husband's family live in Auckland. He was able to re-establish his relationship with them.

We're both glad to be home. We live in the Midlands now, I knew we wouldn't get back on the Surrey property ladder.
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Old Jul 30th 2023, 8:20 am
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by Moon_River
I lived in NZ from 2011 to 2016. My Kiwi husband and I left Surrey in Feb 2011 to live in NZ and ended up in Whanganui as a result of his job offer. We sold our house in the UK, shipped our possessions to NZ and moved into the house we purchased in Sept 2011. My husband's family live in Auckland. He was able to re-establish his relationship with them.

We're both glad to be home. We live in the Midlands now, I knew we wouldn't get back on the Surrey property ladder.
It is lovely that you both call it home too. I am in the midlands too! We lived in Hamilton. Both ends of the planet and still land locked in the middle! I will get by the sea one day! I bet your family was glad that you came back.

Things always happen for a reason.
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Old Jul 30th 2023, 11:17 am
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by Karen21
Hi,
I made the move back in 2008. I wish we could have stayed in NZ but i was quite ill and caring for our family (had 4 under 6 at the time) with no support was really difficult. I regret not staying for the 2 yrs and gaining permanent residency. But you can't put a price on your kids having their grandparents in their lives either. We live around the corner from them and as they grew up would nip down on their own to see them. We lost a fortune when we came back with the housing market crash and had to start from scratch. But after 15 yrs we are now thinking about Austrailia :-). However, my parents are getting older now....So we may go to Wales instead!
Wales instead!

Good luck with your journey

K
Its so hard isn’t it, especially when you consider cost of move, wages etc. we’re really well set up here and if it wasn’t for family I don’t think we’d even question moving back. My husband has his own painting business, I’m an early childhood teacher but able to still be off work with our toddler as we have a flat on the house which brings in income (we live in Queenstown) and it’s a huge financial thing to think of giving all that up when I look at prices of houses close to family in the UK - the Lake District isn’t the cheapest. Wales is nice, that’s one we think about too as my parents and brother are down in Cornwall and it’d be a nice inbetween the two families! Though I also have a sister in aus and one here in Auckland so either way I’m missing out on seeing some family 😕 most of the time I’m so happy here but I feel guilty on our son missing out on family, them missing out on him and then how we’d feel when the time comes of our parents passing away and us being so far away/having spent all our time away. The cost of visiting Uk every couple years is huge though, means never being able to save much beyond that but only way we’d be able to spend some time with family. Honestly I just go round in circles thinking yes home is best vs staying here os best 🥴
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Old Jul 30th 2023, 8:06 pm
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by rejc86
Its so hard isn’t it, especially when you consider cost of move, wages etc. we’re really well set up here and if it wasn’t for family I don’t think we’d even question moving back. My husband has his own painting business, I’m an early childhood teacher but able to still be off work with our toddler as we have a flat on the house which brings in income (we live in Queenstown) and it’s a huge financial thing to think of giving all that up when I look at prices of houses close to family in the UK - the Lake District isn’t the cheapest. Wales is nice, that’s one we think about too as my parents and brother are down in Cornwall and it’d be a nice inbetween the two families! Though I also have a sister in aus and one here in Auckland so either way I’m missing out on seeing some family 😕 most of the time I’m so happy here but I feel guilty on our son missing out on family, them missing out on him and then how we’d feel when the time comes of our parents passing away and us being so far away/having spent all our time away. The cost of visiting Uk every couple years is huge though, means never being able to save much beyond that but only way we’d be able to spend some time with family. Honestly I just go round in circles thinking yes home is best vs staying here os best 🥴
I completely understand. Shall we have a swap for a few years 🤣. I really feel i missed out coming back so soon. Its took us years to get back on our feet and it is still a struggle now as I think it is for most people. I miss going in the supermarkets there and picking fruit out of boxes that had been picked locally. A couple of people who we got to know in nz. One built their own place with loads of land and another has just bought a fair few acres on the south island. Thats all i want is an escape to the country but I will have to make do with my allotment for now! The housing market is terrible the interest rates have shot up and noone is selling. Can your family come and stay with you? I know the time difference is really difficult to communicate. I remember wanting to ring my mum in the day but I couldnt because she was in bed. It sounds as though you are settled but the UK is always an option if you need it. I remember when I was leaving a lady who owned the nursery wished she could go back to uk but she came over on the £10 boats and there was no going back then and certainly not one when you had been in nz for so long - no family to speak of in the UK. So it put it into perspective that i was lucky to have a choice and a family to go too.
keep your chin up 🤗 I just thought it is winter there. Perhaps when the warmer weather comes you will feel better about your choices x
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Old Jul 30th 2023, 10:59 pm
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by rejc86
Its so hard isn’t it, especially when you consider cost of move, wages etc. we’re really well set up here and if it wasn’t for family I don’t think we’d even question moving back. My husband has his own painting business, I’m an early childhood teacher but able to still be off work with our toddler as we have a flat on the house which brings in income (we live in Queenstown) and it’s a huge financial thing to think of giving all that up when I look at prices of houses close to family in the UK - the Lake District isn’t the cheapest. Wales is nice, that’s one we think about too as my parents and brother are down in Cornwall and it’d be a nice inbetween the two families! Though I also have a sister in aus and one here in Auckland so either way I’m missing out on seeing some family 😕 most of the time I’m so happy here but I feel guilty on our son missing out on family, them missing out on him and then how we’d feel when the time comes of our parents passing away and us being so far away/having spent all our time away. The cost of visiting Uk every couple years is huge though, means never being able to save much beyond that but only way we’d be able to spend some time with family. Honestly I just go round in circles thinking yes home is best vs staying here os best 🥴
As long as the only reason is feeling guilty, a move to the UK will never work out. To me it sounds like you don't really want to give up your life in NZ and as soon as it isn't perfect in the UK, you will always start to look back and compare. You either let go and accept that NZ was a great chapter in your life (a bit like knowing you will never celebrate your 18th birthday again), or you have to be selfish and ask why you moved in the first place? Unfortunately there is no other way and moving to NZ is probably the most difficult move one can make when it comes to family, it's not like Spain or Ireland where you can pop over for a long weekend. Wales doesn't sound bad and has some lovely spots, be it Pembrokeshire or Gwynedd. Good luck with your decision.

Last edited by Moses2013; Jul 30th 2023 at 11:03 pm.
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Old Jul 31st 2023, 7:05 am
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Default Re: Moving back

The pull of family connections for children can be huge.
I have a step daughter and granddaughter, who is my world, in Auckland. My own youngest son and his wife in Paris, are now at the stage where they are starting to plan for a family, and without it sounding awful, I am dreading it. I am a big softy of a Poppa, and I don't know how I'm going to cope when they do.
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Old Aug 3rd 2023, 1:09 pm
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by rejc86
Its so hard isn’t it, especially when you consider cost of move, wages etc. we’re really well set up here and if it wasn’t for family I don’t think we’d even question moving back. My husband has his own painting business, I’m an early childhood teacher but able to still be off work with our toddler as we have a flat on the house which brings in income (we live in Queenstown) and it’s a huge financial thing to think of giving all that up when I look at prices of houses close to family in the UK - the Lake District isn’t the cheapest. Wales is nice, that’s one we think about too as my parents and brother are down in Cornwall and it’d be a nice inbetween the two families! Though I also have a sister in aus and one here in Auckland so either way I’m missing out on seeing some family 😕 most of the time I’m so happy here but I feel guilty on our son missing out on family, them missing out on him and then how we’d feel when the time comes of our parents passing away and us being so far away/having spent all our time away. The cost of visiting Uk every couple years is huge though, means never being able to save much beyond that but only way we’d be able to spend some time with family. Honestly I just go round in circles thinking yes home is best vs staying here os best 🥴
Round in circles is exactly right!
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Old Jan 19th 2024, 12:53 pm
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by Karen21
I completely understand. Shall we have a swap for a few years 🤣. I really feel i missed out coming back so soon. Its took us years to get back on our feet and it is still a struggle now as I think it is for most people. I miss going in the supermarkets there and picking fruit out of boxes that had been picked locally. A couple of people who we got to know in nz. One built their own place with loads of land and another has just bought a fair few acres on the south island. Thats all i want is an escape to the country but I will have to make do with my allotment for now! The housing market is terrible the interest rates have shot up and noone is selling. Can your family come and stay with you? I know the time difference is really difficult to communicate. I remember wanting to ring my mum in the day but I couldnt because she was in bed. It sounds as though you are settled but the UK is always an option if you need it. I remember when I was leaving a lady who owned the nursery wished she could go back to uk but she came over on the £10 boats and there was no going back then and certainly not one when you had been in nz for so long - no family to speak of in the UK. So it put it into perspective that i was lucky to have a choice and a family to go too.
keep your chin up 🤗 I just thought it is winter there. Perhaps when the warmer weather comes you will feel better about your choices x
Well the warmer weather came, and it’s still on our minds - especially now as we’re expecting baby number two later in the year! I think we have nearly decided to move back, we both place such a high value on family and hate that we’re depriving our children of knowing their grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles etc and being there for our parents as they get older. And we’ve realised we’ll never be able to afford to fly back to the Uk as much as we thought we’d be able to, years go by so quickly when kids are little and right now, I think being surrounded by family is the important thing. We’re both citizens of NZ so can always come back later in life if we decide on that (or Aussie to be closer to my twin sister, leaving her is a hard one). Plus our house we built in 2021 has pretty much doubled in value and we can’t really afford to buy here again (got to pay my dad back 20% in another two years) but we can afford something in the Uk and to have a very small mortgage which makes life easier in the long run…hopefully exchange rates change a bit before we move though as currently nzd to gbp isn’t looking great!
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Old Jan 19th 2024, 7:17 pm
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Default Re: Moving back

Originally Posted by rejc86
Well the warmer weather came, and it’s still on our minds - especially now as we’re expecting baby number two later in the year! I think we have nearly decided to move back, we both place such a high value on family and hate that we’re depriving our children of knowing their grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles etc and being there for our parents as they get older. And we’ve realised we’ll never be able to afford to fly back to the Uk as much as we thought we’d be able to, years go by so quickly when kids are little and right now, I think being surrounded by family is the important thing. We’re both citizens of NZ so can always come back later in life if we decide on that (or Aussie to be closer to my twin sister, leaving her is a hard one). Plus our house we built in 2021 has pretty much doubled in value and we can’t really afford to buy here again (got to pay my dad back 20% in another two years) but we can afford something in the Uk and to have a very small mortgage which makes life easier in the long run…hopefully exchange rates change a bit before we move though as currently nzd to gbp isn’t looking great!
It is lovely to hear from you! Congratulations! It is winter here now! Wait until the interest rates are in your favour before transferring. Hopefully you will make a bit. I learnt that life struggles are the same what ever side of the planet you are. You are right they grow up so fast. My youngest is 17 now and I am starting to feel a little redundant! If you tell yourself it is for a couple of years it might make it easier for you coming to terms leaving your sister. I still have grand ideas about moving abroad again or at least having a smallholding. Once the kids find their place in the world I might just be able to globe trot. My eldest daughter wants to study in Australia! Enjoy your family and as long you are all together it doesn't matter where you are!
Besides you will have UKs rich history to look forward to. Get a national trust card and take the kids scrambling up a castle!
Best wishes

Karen
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