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Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Old Oct 7th 2007, 6:20 am
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Default Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Ok, so T and I are now getting paranoid. We've put ourselves out and about, got involved in fun-runs, fund-raising sponsorship, work culture, etc etc, and all we seem to do is mix with more and more brits. Not a prob in itself believe me, but not what we thought would happen.

Those of you who've met us may be able to point out a few home truths here, like we talk too much (we do), we smell (I hope we don't!) and we can tend to come on a bit strong (we can), but overall we're in our 9th month here and I'd have expected us to at least connect with a couple of likeminded Kiwi's we could call mates.

But nope - not as yet. A few 'irons in the fire' so to speak, but that's all.

So, can someone shed any light on the secret to making friends with Kiwis, or are we just destined to mix within our own 'caste'?!

Or, do we just need to face the awful truth that we are not 'mate' material?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Wiz'n'Ton
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 6:25 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

You could try to avoid talk about the Rugby
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 6:32 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Lovin' your work!
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 6:35 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Wiz'n'Ton View Post
Lovin' your work!


Seriously though, do you play sport? Cricket is where most of my Australian friends have originated from ... that and work I guess ...
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 6:41 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Vim Fuego View Post


Seriously though, do you play sport? Cricket is where most of my Australian friends have originated from ... that and work I guess ...
Tried rugby - ended up in hospital with a 'brain episode'! My main sport is 'bike racing and the season starts in a couple of weeks so looking forward to meeting a few folks then.
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 7:26 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Well Kiwi mates - hard one, most of ours are ex-Pats, Kiwis tend not to open up and are mucj more reserved and stand-offish, most mates of a Kiwi persuasion come from the kids' sports clubs and from my sports so you're on the right track....
just don't mention "ze frogs"............ as the lady in the chemist said today

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alonso is such a nob.........
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 7:34 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Wiz'n'Ton View Post
Tried rugby - ended up in hospital with a 'brain episode'! My main sport is 'bike racing and the season starts in a couple of weeks so looking forward to meeting a few folks then.
'brain episode?' you mean they caught you playing rugby with one? Unfair advantage that ...
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 7:58 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Wiz'n'Ton View Post
Look forward to hearing your thoughts!
Immigrants who are new to a country tend to mix with their 'own types', at least at first, and in some cases it's only the second or third generations that truly integrate with the locals. You can see this in almost any country.

With a shared language and, generally speaking, skin colour...and with a common historical background it's all too easy to forget that the recent British in NZ are also an immigrant group and will have the same kinds of experiences as immigrants in any other country.

For a lot of new arrivals in NZ the only thing we really have in common with the locals is the language. We weren't brought up here which means we just don't have the basic reference points to make meaningful friendships easily. Likewise the locals can have their own issues with non-natives which can make things more complicated. For a start, how do they know that the cheery Brits who have just moved in two doors down aren't going to bugger off in a couple of years after getting bored with the lifestyle? It's not worth investing too much time and effort with people who might be long-term tourists, is it?

But it isn't all doom and gloom. As long as people are open to meeting the locals half-way and are keen to learn the host 'culture' then the friendships will come. It might take years rather than weeks, though, but it'll happen.

Last edited by Avid; Oct 7th 2007 at 8:07 am.
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 8:42 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

You must like to drink lots and lots of coffee.
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Old Oct 7th 2007, 9:24 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Wiz'n'Ton View Post
Tried rugby - ended up in hospital with a 'brain episode'! My main sport is 'bike racing and the season starts in a couple of weeks so looking forward to meeting a few folks then.
Are you competing?

If so what on?
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 4:33 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Wiz n Ton. Have you looked onto kiwibiker yet? www.kiwibiker.co.nz

We met a load shortly after arriving when they met up down the road, still mailing plenty. And, they've got a track day in Taupo the end of this month.
Not sure of your age, but Ulysses are slowly but surely pulling me into their arms as well.
Bikers tend to be good mixers regardless of nationality, so try getting onto the local shops for info on clubs, rideouts etc.
Otherwise, work tends to be the favoured route.
Good luck mate. I'm "Kinger" on kiwibiker should you look.
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 5:12 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by hazeandsteve View Post
I'm "Kinger" on kiwibiker should you look.

I'm 'Teambwr47' in the race section................
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 8:45 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Wiz'n'Ton View Post
Ok, so T and I are now getting paranoid. We've put ourselves out and about, got involved in fun-runs, fund-raising sponsorship, work culture, etc etc, and all we seem to do is mix with more and more brits. Not a prob in itself believe me, but not what we thought would happen.

Those of you who've met us may be able to point out a few home truths here, like we talk too much (we do), we smell (I hope we don't!) and we can tend to come on a bit strong (we can), but overall we're in our 9th month here and I'd have expected us to at least connect with a couple of likeminded Kiwi's we could call mates.

But nope - not as yet. A few 'irons in the fire' so to speak, but that's all.

So, can someone shed any light on the secret to making friends with Kiwis, or are we just destined to mix within our own 'caste'?!

Or, do we just need to face the awful truth that we are not 'mate' material?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Wiz'n'Ton
I had heard it's coz you do smell - not T - just you.
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 9:46 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Hey Avid - good post, very astute and I suppose also based on your experiences elsewhere.
So the big question is "are Kiwis any different" in this regard?
Maybe the ones that stay here and don't up sticks to Oz are less cosmopolitan and given that this is still a pretty rural land then maybe the old analogies with "are you local?" could apply.....
not my firm views these, just points for disucssion!!
/ducks/
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 10:42 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by lardyl View Post
Hey Avid - good post, very astute and I suppose also based on your experiences elsewhere.
So the big question is "are Kiwis any different" in this regard?
Maybe the ones that stay here and don't up sticks to Oz are less cosmopolitan and given that this is still a pretty rural land then maybe the old analogies with "are you local?" could apply.....
not my firm views these, just points for disucssion!!
/ducks/
I lived in different parts of Japan for ten years, Tokyo mostly, so have a pretty good idea of what it is like to be a foreigner on a daily basis....and how tiresome it can be.

I'd say, in a strange way, it's trickier being an immigrant in NZ than it is in Japan because in Japan there was never really a chance of integrating...whereas in NZ it feels like instant integration, even though it isn't. In Japan I was a foreigner (gaijin) from day one until I left...it was frustrating at times but at least I always knew my place. In New Zealand I'm a local as long as I keep my mouth shut and never use an umbrella.

But to go back to the Japan thing again....a lot of foreigners out there would moan that they didn't have many Japanese friends or that the locals weren't keen to socialise with them...but in truth the Japanese weren't that friendly amongst themselves. Life was tough enough without having to make a huge effort to befriend people where there wasn't much common ground in the first place. People were friendly and racism was almost non-existent, but that didn't mean they felt they had to spend more time than they had to with the 'gaijin'.

I wonder if NZ might be the same?
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