Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
#31
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: chch ex yorkshire
Posts: 145
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
avid,
Jacky its soo very true.
I'm afraid i have many Kiwi aquaintances but no kiwi friends, my friends are 98% British, the rest, fillipino, cambodian and chinese.
I find kiwi women hard to talk to, its like they give vibes off, and you dare not argue with them.
Jacky its soo very true.
I'm afraid i have many Kiwi aquaintances but no kiwi friends, my friends are 98% British, the rest, fillipino, cambodian and chinese.
I find kiwi women hard to talk to, its like they give vibes off, and you dare not argue with them.
#32
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
I have found from observing new British immigrants that, because they have no real NZ history, they cannot help talking about the UK and comparing the two - a big turn-off for Kiwis. Only the passage of time gives you a near enough equal footing with the Kiwi and lessens that slip into talking about 'home'.
As to true Kiwi friends - I really dunno. I was a kid in NZ in the 1970's and my friends were Yugoslav and Maori. This time, after 28 months in NZ, my closest friends are British, Indian and South African ... but there are plenty of Kiwi 'acquaintence friends'.
As to true Kiwi friends - I really dunno. I was a kid in NZ in the 1970's and my friends were Yugoslav and Maori. This time, after 28 months in NZ, my closest friends are British, Indian and South African ... but there are plenty of Kiwi 'acquaintence friends'.
#33
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
I have found from observing new British immigrants that, because they have no real NZ history, they cannot help talking about the UK and comparing the two - a big turn-off for Kiwis. Only the passage of time gives you a near enough equal footing with the Kiwi and lessens that slip into talking about 'home'.
As to true Kiwi friends - I really dunno. I was a kid in NZ in the 1970's and my friends were Yugoslav and Maori. This time, after 28 months in NZ, my closest friends are British, Indian and South African ... but there are plenty of Kiwi 'acquaintence friends'.
As to true Kiwi friends - I really dunno. I was a kid in NZ in the 1970's and my friends were Yugoslav and Maori. This time, after 28 months in NZ, my closest friends are British, Indian and South African ... but there are plenty of Kiwi 'acquaintence friends'.
#34
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
Hi all, and cheers for all the thoughts on this. In my lack of response so far to my own thread, maybe I've anwered my own question?!
Anyway, cheers the the confirmation that I DO in fact smell, and about the biking thing. Thinking on it, it was bikes that got me the most mates in the UK, and I'm sure it'll be the same here. Just need to buy a blimmin' bike, and that's not proving as easy as first thought cos compared to wages they a bit pricey! Wish I'd brought my old shed over now, it would have done lovely here. Never mind, plenty of time for all that. I'm not racing this season, just getting involved - maybe spanner for a someone - and am on kiwibiker as Teezer (someone had already nicked Wiz, damn them ) so maybe see some of you folks on there.
Regarding the whole 'investment' in friends, I reckon a few have really hit the nail on the head there. New immigrants are kind of expected to 'prove' their commitment to NZ before Kiwi's will start getting close to them and investing time in them. We've made plenty of 'pals' so far, by no one I could call a mate - but maybe it's all too soon anyway. Thinking back to the UK it took a long time there to make true mates, and if they weren't around we always had familiy to socialise with (if they liked it or not!) so maybe the lack of family shows up the glaring 'mate' gap.
After all, it's about putting yourself 'out there' and who's gonna make friends sitting at home? Especially if when we do venture out and meet some Kiwi's, we then bitch on about cold houses, crap money and how the food's different etc (which we are well and truly guilty of - especially those first few months!).
Still, 9 months ain't that long in the big scheme of things, so we will keep on 'keepin' it real' and just being ourselves - I imagine we will gravitate towards a few folks, and they to us. It's interesting to hear all your experiences and thoughts on this - keep 'em coming!
Anyway, cheers the the confirmation that I DO in fact smell, and about the biking thing. Thinking on it, it was bikes that got me the most mates in the UK, and I'm sure it'll be the same here. Just need to buy a blimmin' bike, and that's not proving as easy as first thought cos compared to wages they a bit pricey! Wish I'd brought my old shed over now, it would have done lovely here. Never mind, plenty of time for all that. I'm not racing this season, just getting involved - maybe spanner for a someone - and am on kiwibiker as Teezer (someone had already nicked Wiz, damn them ) so maybe see some of you folks on there.
Regarding the whole 'investment' in friends, I reckon a few have really hit the nail on the head there. New immigrants are kind of expected to 'prove' their commitment to NZ before Kiwi's will start getting close to them and investing time in them. We've made plenty of 'pals' so far, by no one I could call a mate - but maybe it's all too soon anyway. Thinking back to the UK it took a long time there to make true mates, and if they weren't around we always had familiy to socialise with (if they liked it or not!) so maybe the lack of family shows up the glaring 'mate' gap.
After all, it's about putting yourself 'out there' and who's gonna make friends sitting at home? Especially if when we do venture out and meet some Kiwi's, we then bitch on about cold houses, crap money and how the food's different etc (which we are well and truly guilty of - especially those first few months!).
Still, 9 months ain't that long in the big scheme of things, so we will keep on 'keepin' it real' and just being ourselves - I imagine we will gravitate towards a few folks, and they to us. It's interesting to hear all your experiences and thoughts on this - keep 'em coming!
#35
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
Casting my mind back when I used to ask people in the UK whether they liked it....I can remember preferring their answer to be a positive one so this is understandable really.
#36
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: chch ex yorkshire
Posts: 145
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
i do know what you me luvwelly,
however, I think, well speaking fo myself as usual I have a tendancy to be blunt and honest
I arn't used to the how are ya, good as gold, type of thing I shall have to learn to lie.
I have accepted that I am culturally different to kiwis, like if I am with a bunch of brits and we tell a joke we get it and laugh, if the same conversation was to be had with some kiwis (not all) you would see the tumbleweed rolling by and the grim reaper drfting by. Its not a bad thing to have lots of Brits as mates, just because your in a different country.
however, I think, well speaking fo myself as usual I have a tendancy to be blunt and honest
I arn't used to the how are ya, good as gold, type of thing I shall have to learn to lie.
I have accepted that I am culturally different to kiwis, like if I am with a bunch of brits and we tell a joke we get it and laugh, if the same conversation was to be had with some kiwis (not all) you would see the tumbleweed rolling by and the grim reaper drfting by. Its not a bad thing to have lots of Brits as mates, just because your in a different country.
#37
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 107
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
Hi all, and cheers for all the thoughts on this. In my lack of response so far to my own thread, maybe I've anwered my own question?!
Anyway, cheers the the confirmation that I DO in fact smell, and about the biking thing. Thinking on it, it was bikes that got me the most mates in the UK, and I'm sure it'll be the same here. Just need to buy a blimmin' bike, and that's not proving as easy as first thought cos compared to wages they a bit pricey! Wish I'd brought my old shed over now, it would have done lovely here. Never mind, plenty of time for all that. I'm not racing this season, just getting involved - maybe spanner for a someone - and am on kiwibiker as Teezer (someone had already nicked Wiz, damn them ) so maybe see some of you folks on there.
Regarding the whole 'investment' in friends, I reckon a few have really hit the nail on the head there. New immigrants are kind of expected to 'prove' their commitment to NZ before Kiwi's will start getting close to them and investing time in them. We've made plenty of 'pals' so far, by no one I could call a mate - but maybe it's all too soon anyway. Thinking back to the UK it took a long time there to make true mates, and if they weren't around we always had familiy to socialise with (if they liked it or not!) so maybe the lack of family shows up the glaring 'mate' gap.
After all, it's about putting yourself 'out there' and who's gonna make friends sitting at home? Especially if when we do venture out and meet some Kiwi's, we then bitch on about cold houses, crap money and how the food's different etc (which we are well and truly guilty of - especially those first few months!).
Still, 9 months ain't that long in the big scheme of things, so we will keep on 'keepin' it real' and just being ourselves - I imagine we will gravitate towards a few folks, and they to us. It's interesting to hear all your experiences and thoughts on this - keep 'em coming!
Anyway, cheers the the confirmation that I DO in fact smell, and about the biking thing. Thinking on it, it was bikes that got me the most mates in the UK, and I'm sure it'll be the same here. Just need to buy a blimmin' bike, and that's not proving as easy as first thought cos compared to wages they a bit pricey! Wish I'd brought my old shed over now, it would have done lovely here. Never mind, plenty of time for all that. I'm not racing this season, just getting involved - maybe spanner for a someone - and am on kiwibiker as Teezer (someone had already nicked Wiz, damn them ) so maybe see some of you folks on there.
Regarding the whole 'investment' in friends, I reckon a few have really hit the nail on the head there. New immigrants are kind of expected to 'prove' their commitment to NZ before Kiwi's will start getting close to them and investing time in them. We've made plenty of 'pals' so far, by no one I could call a mate - but maybe it's all too soon anyway. Thinking back to the UK it took a long time there to make true mates, and if they weren't around we always had familiy to socialise with (if they liked it or not!) so maybe the lack of family shows up the glaring 'mate' gap.
After all, it's about putting yourself 'out there' and who's gonna make friends sitting at home? Especially if when we do venture out and meet some Kiwi's, we then bitch on about cold houses, crap money and how the food's different etc (which we are well and truly guilty of - especially those first few months!).
Still, 9 months ain't that long in the big scheme of things, so we will keep on 'keepin' it real' and just being ourselves - I imagine we will gravitate towards a few folks, and they to us. It's interesting to hear all your experiences and thoughts on this - keep 'em coming!
Just remember: NZ ways are the best ways and you'll be sweet. It doesn't hurt to slag England every now and again either. That is permissable, just don't do it too NZ!!
#38
you dewty owld maan!
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
....As to true Kiwi friends - I really dunno. I was a kid in NZ in the 1970's and my friends were Yugoslav and Maori. This time, after 28 months in NZ, my closest friends are British, Indian and South African ... but there are plenty of Kiwi 'acquaintence friends'.
Britain has had waves of immigration and perhaps some Brits have learned from that - clearly not the BNP-types but some generalisation of mixing of cultures has happened and we (as Brits) have more of a history/experience of relating to strangers....
just my 2 cents.....
#39
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
Why are the English called Poms or Pommies?
"Pommy" (or "pom" or "pommie") is a primarily Australian (and largely derisive) slang term used to indicate a recent immigrant from Great Britain, or a Brit in general. Hwoever the origination of this word is a little unclear. "Pommy" might have been based on the word "pomegranate" -- either because the redness of the fruit supposedly matched the typically florid British complexion, or because it was used as rhyming slang for "immigrant." Also a possibility is since Australia was originally a hold for convicts from England, the letters P.O.H.M. (Property of her majesty) were printed on their clothing and then began to apply to all immigrants from England. Interestingly enough, the Oxford English definition of POM stands for Prisoner of Mother England.
Another explanation: it originated in Victoria, where the British immigrants came by ship to the Port of Melbourne. The initials POM were quickly adopted as a fond nickname.
more interesting than boot polish eh!!!
"Pommy" (or "pom" or "pommie") is a primarily Australian (and largely derisive) slang term used to indicate a recent immigrant from Great Britain, or a Brit in general. Hwoever the origination of this word is a little unclear. "Pommy" might have been based on the word "pomegranate" -- either because the redness of the fruit supposedly matched the typically florid British complexion, or because it was used as rhyming slang for "immigrant." Also a possibility is since Australia was originally a hold for convicts from England, the letters P.O.H.M. (Property of her majesty) were printed on their clothing and then began to apply to all immigrants from England. Interestingly enough, the Oxford English definition of POM stands for Prisoner of Mother England.
Another explanation: it originated in Victoria, where the British immigrants came by ship to the Port of Melbourne. The initials POM were quickly adopted as a fond nickname.
more interesting than boot polish eh!!!
#40
Banned
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 128
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
Welcome to New Zealand.
Pretty much cant add much more than has been said other than if you can crack the Kiwi mates thing your on a winner. Its hard no matter how much we have tried when we reflect onit the only people we really call mates are none Kiwis with a bit of History back in the UK. Problem is the longer your here the more you start becoming like those reserved Kiwis.
Weird huh.
Pretty much cant add much more than has been said other than if you can crack the Kiwi mates thing your on a winner. Its hard no matter how much we have tried when we reflect onit the only people we really call mates are none Kiwis with a bit of History back in the UK. Problem is the longer your here the more you start becoming like those reserved Kiwis.
Weird huh.
#41
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 107
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
very true!! The top kiwi's are the maoris and the islanders imo. Lovely people. Give em a go cos they are brilliant.
Last edited by Hoyo; Oct 13th 2007 at 8:58 pm.
#42
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
Well, over the last few days you needed to be French, now you need to be either South African or Argentinian, then you'll make lots of Kiwi friends
#43
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
I find kiwi women hard to talk to, its like they give vibes off, and you dare not argue with them.
Yep - I do find it hard here sometimes. I have no family here (theyre all in the UK/Ireland/Canada) my wife has her old man in Waipu but he remarried years ago and is immersed in his wifes side of things (I suppose not intentionally - it just happens like that). We came over just over a year ago and my wifes prime objective was to be nearer to her mum ( who's family are in Napier) - We got here in late august and in early October she died after a stroke and brain haemorrage - To say it turned our world upside down is an understatement. (Its her anniversary next week)
Sorry for going off topic - just wanted to give you a bit of background. Anyway - I work 4 on /4 off - sounds good in theory, in practice its not the best - Ive got no rhythm, no routine - I try and play 7-a-side with a load of kiwis/other nationalities at the local gym which is twice a week but I can only play infrequently cos of work. Our social life is in dire straits as we have a 2 year old and very few babysitting options........and as a result it puts a strain on things. The friends (kiwi) that the wife has, have mostly moved away from auckland and got hitched and/or are having kids so it is so like we are starting from scratch - even though we've been here a year the word "friend" is as rare as rocking horse doo-ings.
The folks I work with all tend to keep themselves to themselves out of work - doesnt help that they are all spread out far away (as far south as waiuku and well into North shore at the other end)
After next month we will have a plan of sorts as Im in the middle of applying for something - If it comes off , it means going to christchurch for 6 months (unpaid) and a further 6-9 months (unpaid) until I get a license. If it doesnt come off, we will try for another child and re-evaluate our present location/situation.
#44
Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?
We spent a month earlier this year travelling around the north island and had a great time ..
We met quite a few Kiwi's and have kept in touch via phone and email sinse we've been back..
We even met a lady on the flight over who invited us to her house for a BBQ and sent her husband to our hotel to pick us up...and we'd only been in NZ for two days..
We also met a great bunch at one of the parks and they insisted we came back for the following weekend when they took us out fishing and skiing on their boats ...BBq fish and beers in the evening ...
Two of the people even offered me a job after finding out our plans to emmigrate !!!
I can honestly say every Kiwi and for that matter maori we met were more than friendly and hospitable ..
can't wait to get back their to live ...
We met quite a few Kiwi's and have kept in touch via phone and email sinse we've been back..
We even met a lady on the flight over who invited us to her house for a BBQ and sent her husband to our hotel to pick us up...and we'd only been in NZ for two days..
We also met a great bunch at one of the parks and they insisted we came back for the following weekend when they took us out fishing and skiing on their boats ...BBq fish and beers in the evening ...
Two of the people even offered me a job after finding out our plans to emmigrate !!!
I can honestly say every Kiwi and for that matter maori we met were more than friendly and hospitable ..
can't wait to get back their to live ...
Sorry, not trying to burst the bubble but the term "no free lunch" comes to mind.
#45
you dewty owld maan!
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565