Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Hi, I've been offered a job in Wellington after a recent visit to see friends. I'm now applying for residency for myself, my wife and two school age children via SMC from the UK. We have just received the ITA and now need to get all docs etc.

The only problem now is that wife and one child are extremely nervous!!! After reading some of the above, it's not surprising she's nervous. Hopefully we will get through it together though and it won't be too terrible when we get there. Her friend is suggesting I go out first and start work for 3 months to make sure it's ok. Then they can follow me later. I'm not sure, but I know she is worried about the eldest and schools etc (year 6/7)

Re: Homesickness v. A lack of belonging.
 

It might be worth putting this in a new thread - if you want to, contact the mods.

As I see it, one of the problems with Brits is they have an over-inflated view of how wonderful NZ is. It is a great country and has lots of benefits, but it's not paradise. The problem for people in your position is you won't really know until you get here whether it is right for you or your family. My advice would be to give it a go, but recognise that if it's not all you hoped for you can return with no shame or disappointment. It's nice to scratch the itch and you would probably regret not taking a chance. I don't think it's fair for one person to force another to stay, and I think you need to discuss this with your wife - if one of you hates it, and the other loves it, what are you going to do?

The other thing that strikes me is that the pros and cons of various countries can change quite quickly. For example, a few years ago NZ was considered a very cheap place to live. I remember arriving in the UK in the 1980 and being shocked at how much everything cost, and I can assure you, my income was not 3x what my NZ wage was. With the current economic climate things might change - who knows? I would be keeping all my options open right now.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

I notice that you had originally put this in the thread that I started. It's understandable that your wife and a child are extremely nervous about making the move here. That's an extremely normal feeling to have when moving especially when it's to the other side of the planet.

The first time we came out here my OH came a few months earlier then I followed on afterwards when I'd sold the house etc. I wish with hindsight that we had come out together because I stressed more on my own at home alone. Just because you might be okay here doesn't mean that your wife will be.

I think you should come with a realistic plan of giving it a couple of years and then making a decision whether to stay or go. It takes a least a couple of years for most people to settle. A feeling of being trapped here can make a person feel worse, having a get-out clause is vital in my view.

Just because of my own situation doesn't mean that I would tell you not to come. We are all different people. I don't regret coming here, I've done some things I'd never even envisaged myself doing. I appreciate the simple pleasures in life so much more.

Life here isn't better or worse than living in the UK, it's just different. I know plenty of Brits who absolutely adore it here and wouldn't consider going back to live in the UK.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Take on board what is said on here, but act on the opinions of people you personally know and trust (ie your friends). Sorry you guys have gotten nervous. We live in a good country here IMO. Come and join us :)

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

That's were I went wrong, I listened to my friend telling me to come here. She's a very positive person who doesn't worry very much and I'm her polar opposite :eek::lol:.

So I introduce her as "This is my friend ........ and it's her fault I'm here!"

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

MrF came out before myself and kids, 6mths actually. The rental he got I would not of agreed to but he thought it would do, the area he got ended up to be a complete nightmare. All well and good him being in NZ but it left me tying up all the loose ends in UK, selling house and all the hassle that goes with that, doing the kids goodbyes, dealing with all the paperwork. All he was doing was working then out and about at the weekends, all very nice for him, whilst I was having to sort out homes for the animals (to old to fly over), sort the family issues out, MIL saying good for you guys, FIL saying this is going to break her heart taking the grandchildren away, why you being so selfish etc.

Please if you do decide to come over before the rest please please have quite a lot of the logistics on what needs to be done before you go. Ours possibly a bit different scenario as MrF came out to have a look round for 3weeks and was meant to come back but got offered a job and started whilst on the those weeks so there wasn't much choice for me but to do it all, but believe it it was very stressfull.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Most people move for a better life and it always depends how you live now and what you will have there. Getting a job is the first step and easy enough, but a job these days doesn't mean you'll have a good lifestyle in that location and depends what you think will be an improvement (housing, money to spend, working hours, friends etc.).




I could probably get a good job in Hong Kong, but would hate it and I could probably get a good job in Auckland, but still wouldn't be better off than were I am now.

Re: Homesickness v. A lack of belonging.
 

:goodpost:

Thanks, some good advice there. If Mrs M hates it, we would be returning pretty quickly I imagine. Although I'm thinking she will like it from my limited experience of NZ. The weather is better, we are both foodies and I was really impressed with the food while I was there. We all like walking (currently live near peak district), roller blading (a bit weird), and cycling. Also, the laid back culture and fewer people really appeals after living in a really busy place ( I have to live near cities for my line of work).

I've tried to keep an open mind by investigating the negative to balance my natural optimism but its hard to examine how you are likely to feel in 2 years time once the novelty has worn off and when we maybe are in a rut (it happens from time to time wherever you are). Such a hard decision, but I keep coming back to "you only live once" its an experience and I would definitely regret it if I didnt "scratch the itch".

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

'Just different' is the key here I think. I'm excited about coming and so the others, but I think we would try to contain ourselves by knowing it is not a paradise and we will have to work at it to make a success. I really want to make sure Mrs M can contribute in some way so she isn't stuck at home with no friends, no job and just taking kids to school and picking them up. That is a possible recipe for disaster. To that end, we are debating between being in a city suburb e.g. Northland, Island Bay, Brooklyn or whether to live out on the Kapiti (Waikanae, Paraparam, Raumati Beach) where we'd be closer to the good weather, beaches and ski fields.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

:cool: My friends are already signing me up for skiing trips and trying to find me houses!

Thanks for the vote of confidence! :thumbsup:

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

I'm sorry it was so bad for you. That does sound a bit cr@p. I think on balance it might be best for us to all go together, I'm sure the job will be fine for me and if it really isn't, I could probably find another relatively easily. We have probably 2 or 3 months before we get the residency so we can hopefully use the time to get the house rented, stuff packed up and shipped, do the goodbyes etc as a family.

We are thinking about the Kapiti coast as a base. What are your experiences of that area? Is it fairly sociable with activities and sports clubs. My daughter is into ballet and gymnastics. Son loves lacrosse, cricket and animals allthough I'm sure they are open to doing new stuff. Is there much in the way of work there? Offices? P/T stuff?

Thanks.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

All good points Moses. There's always a risk with that, but the job is doing something I'm familiar with, very similar to employer/role that I have here with a bit of a pay rise. Hours are reasonable and 5 weeks paid hols on top of public hols. So I think we could manage on the one wage in Welly region unless we live in one of the really posh areas.

There isn't a real definitve reason to move overseas. Its more a collection of things. We are quite itchy footed having moved around a fair bit in the UK (think there must be some traveller blood in me), so partly we are just looking for a change of scenery, plus better climate, we want the kids to be kids instead of the tendency (in our part of the UK at least) for 7 yo + of being exposed to everything and anything. More regular snow activities are also an attraction now the kids are a bit older too and generally a more relaxed approach to life and being close to the coast without making too many compromises on job/school etc.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

As long as you've done your homework, I'm sure it will work out. If you managed with one income in the UK then you'll be fine, but losing a salary can often be difficult for people. At least you've been to Wellington, but I wouldn't say climate is better/worse. Overall, it's only a bit more sunnier than parts of East Sussex with more rain and more wind.




Doesn't bother me, but I've heard of people who left Wellington because it was too windy for them, so as long as you don't expect the med, I think you'll manage.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

I went to Wellington on a lovely day! :cool: in late March! I notice that the temps around Kapiti coast are still in the low 20's this week. I've never lived in East Sussex, but I suspect the summers are considerably shorter than those even in Welly. I know it gets very windy at times (I've seen the youtube clips of people being blown over), so I'm certainly not expecting the Med. Maybe something like southern brittany where it can be lovely sometimes but changeable with rainstorms (maritime climate) with a med-style uber-mistral thrown in for good measure. The views of the bay are something to behold though and I liked the real ale sorry craft beer scene.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Vitalstats, as long as Munchkjn blames his friends and not me if it goes pear shaped ... hehe

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Wellington is more often windy than not. Consequently it has quite an even temp. Rarely gets above about 23 degrees but also rarely has frosts. Normally, this time of year you would expect the daily high to be 17 to 19 degrees. Thats Wellington itself. Different story in the Hutt Valley, which is more sheltered. Kapiti Coast should have a better climate than Wellington I believe.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

That sounds good to me. We go swimming in the outdoor pool near here in August when its 16 degrees. 17-19 is positiveley balmy by comparison :lol:.

This time of year is equivalent to late October here. I would expect it to be dark, wet and daily high around 10-12 degrees. I presume you are a Wellington resident, have they started building the transmission gully road yet?

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

To the point where quite a lot of people view it as debilitatingly windy and won't/can't live there.

A calm day is by far the exception, I have flown to Welly many times, twice in a flat calm but the rest it has been like landing on an aircraft carrier in a gale...

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

That's a pretty horrendous picture your painting there. If this is a fair account of the weather in Wellington, I'm surprised anyone lives there at all. If it is a fair account and the city is practically unliveable I would prefer not to live there myself, could be a deal breaker...

:confused:

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Anything will probably be an improvement if you hate where you live now in Manchester, but the whole of Britain is not always as bad as people say. I always say most places are the same and you have houses, streets and the little things can make the difference.




I lived in the sunniest part of Britain, but much prefer the part of Ireland I live now, although I could probably happily live in parts of Cornwall/Devon too, if everything else was right (Maybe not Manchester:sarcasm:).
I'd rather live in a nice house with garden that gets evening sun in Dunedin, than live in an apartment in the middle of Auckland with concrete all around me.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Parts of Cornwall and Devon are breathtakingly beautiful and I love going there on holidays but the weather can be pretty atrocious esp in cornwall at times and the job market is weak. Also cornwall does have it's problems.

Well maybe Ireland's not a bad shout for a nice life. I'm wondering if Manchester might not be so bad either after reading that the good people of Wellington are literally hanging on for dear life as the roaring forties try to blow them all to Chile. I was hoping for something better not worse. :eek:

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Its worth considering, I have never seen anyone with an umbrella walking around welly for instance, they don't survive...

I wouldn't live there, it would just get old and wearing for me...and I grew up on the Isle of Man - so that kind of wind doesn't bother me at all...

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

We all have different views and some people will get used to the wind and others won't. The weather here in Galway is probably similar to what you currently have in Manchester, but some people will moan and others won't mind.






It can also make a huge difference if you are directly on the coast, or how your garden gets sun and wind. Yesterday I was sitting outside on the terrace until 8pm, measured temp around 7pm and it was 25C in the sun. Friends of mine who live directly on the coast felt much colder because of the wind.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

I just spoke to a colleague who lived in Hataitai a few years ago. He said it is windy but not always and you just get used to it. It was rarely so bad that it became a problem and when the weather is good which more often than here, Welly is a really great place to be. He also said the wind is worse in the CBD and hill top suburbs, elsewhere its not so bad - you just have to be wise to it when choosing where to live.


Galway is amazing, I love the coast there. It is similar to Cornwall too. Manchester is different, you get the rain shadow as the wind hits the pennines so it is permanently damp (apart from today - lovely today!). You don't even get the benefit of being near the coast either. The traffic is often so bad in can take 2 hours or more to get to the west coast on a weekend and I've not found anywhere as beautiful as Galway (West Wales excepted but then that's even further to go & come back).

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Exactly, location is key, so better avoid the hills and the cheapest option is to buy a windproof jacket LOL. I would say that women suffer a lot more when it comes to wind, so better speak to the wife.




I must say that I always enjoy coming back to Galway and on days like today, it's amazing. I recently drove to the UK past Manchester and traffic was pretty bad. I can drive from Galway to Dublin in 2 hours, so it must be bad:ohmy:

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

I grew up in Wellington, and the wind isn't that bad! Or I guess you just get used to it. Bonus - you can get your washing dry on the line in a hour, even in the winter (you just need to pick the hour between rainstorms). Lived in Ireland for a few years, and it felt just as windy there, though maybe that's because I was walking and using public transport more, rather than driving. :D

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Yep definitely windy here, but I would say that even Wellington is not as bad as Florida during a hurricane:-).

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

if you have sea views you will get wind, and I did not realise how wind phobic I was until I came here and I had a tree crash through my window in UKs big storm back in the day.
We initially lived 31km outside the CBD to the north in a lovely house, raised off the ground, vaulted ceiling in the living room, wooden construction (we called it the deluxe shed). and I spent many a night up and crying because of the wind, up under the house with the trees creaking and cracking. Vaulted ceiling does not make for a good idea on a tin roof.
Moved another 15km north so 56 north of CBD and the wind really isn't to bad, plus we are now in a house that sits on foundations and is brick on the outside, no vaulted ceilings but no views either. So all that needs to be taken into consideration when settling somewhere.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Sea views are nice, but I had't even considered it to be honest. I'd be happy with a 10/15 min bike ride to the sea front. I saw some brick houses in Waikanae not too far from SH1. They didn't look too bad to me. I'm guessing these also have some form of roof insulation? :eek: Is it feasible to fit a gas boiler and 2 or 3 radiators? Are there heating engineers/water heater fitters out there?

Is there much to do in on the Kapiti coast? I'm not talking shopping here. I mean are there activities and clubs? Are there some nice cafe's, an olde cinema, library, book shop? Small theatre for am dram? Can you cycle along a promenade or esplanade? Is sea fishing easy enough to get on and do?

Kite flying definitely seems possible! :blink:

Thanks Mrs F

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

We live in Waikanae, in the garden area so not far from the shops and station and yes in a brick house. Insulation in the roofs and outside walls but not internal and no double glazing. Waikanae is piped for gas so no problem there but you do pay for water here. Some houses have gas central heating but no idea how feasible that would be retrospectively with concrete floors, plus I would say heat pumps would be cheaper and more useful with the air con in the summer, which is what we would do if we could afford it.
Yes clubs for kids (some seasonal), and all the other things you ask about. have pm'ed you

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

We initially started off our NZ adventure in Wellington as that's where I got the job offer.
It was fine and I liked it and even though we knew it was often windy we thought it couldn't be that bad......!
Being an avid biker, after 6 months I purchased a motorbike and the effects of the wind were pretty shocking. Even though I was only 10 mins away as a commute I sometimes thought the journey was bordering on dangerous. It was often the same when going out for an enjoyable ride into the Wairarapa. Wellington a nightmare but then calm when getting over the hill (Rimutakkas).
The wind becomes a major factor in life in Wellington. It affects everything you do from a bike ride, a walk, a day on the beach, even having dinner Al Fresco in the garden. The wind chill factor is what ruins it. Wore us down and after a year we'd had enough and wanted better so made plans and arrangements to leave for greener grass. Managed to get a transfer through work and moved up to Tauranga after another 18 months and haven't looked back.
Only other issue we noticed was the majority of events in Wellington are completely overhyped. Nowhere near as good as they are advertised to be.
It is also pretty hilly unless you stay South and East of the city or in the Hutt Valley. Anywhere else you'll have to go up and down the gorge for Northern / Western suburbs and to get to Kapiti Coast.
Think I will always like Wellington and enjoy going back there every now and then to see friends but to live - not for us. I have 10 colleagues living in Wellington and all seem to enjoy life there.
Other than the weather and the overhype it is a pretty decent place to live.
Yes you can get gas central heating boiler and radiators but they are expensive. You'll pay thousands for the boiler then a grand per radiator then a lot in labour for install.
We spent quite a lot of time in Kapiti as the weather was better. It was generally always a few degrees warmer with much less wind. It has decent coffee shops and places to eat but they're all spread out up the coast so we'd go for coffee and food at Raumati Beach then shopping in Paraparaumu. The beach isn't that good unless you're in to dog walking. It's not a sun bathing beach as very windswept with lots of driftwood.
Waikanae is further out and at the end of the line for commuter trains. It'll take around 1 hour from Param on the train or in the car as a commute into the CBD. If in Waikanae it's a little further and longer.
In my opinion too far as a commute.
Transmission Gulley had commenced when we left but it'll take many years to complete. Schedule is by 2024 so another 9 years if all goes to plan and the funding remains This will definitely open up places like Waikanae and others to be within commutable distance to Wellington in the future.

Rest assured the schooling etc is really good around Wellington but majority is zoned so you can only get a place in a school if you live in the zone. You are unlikely to be approved an out of zone place as your child will be bottom of the priority list.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Mrs F your house is made from wood with brick cladding as most are in Waikanae!

You will not need central heating, just a heat pump for aircon in summer and for maybe 3 months max in winter. They're a couple of grand to buy and then install. Most places will have them or a wood fire. The temp is usually 5 degrees warmer than Welly and much less windy with a beautiful beach...but if you work in Welly you will have to commute so that's the price to pay for the larger sections and better weather.

There is a cinema in Waikanae (shoreline), 2 supermarkets, restaurants, outdoor swimming pool, library, banks etc, 2 primary schools, and plenty of clubs for kids and adults - scouts, guides, dance, gymnastics, tennis, rugby, swimming, soccer etc. Most children go to Paraparaumu College on the school buses which has just got some of the best NCEA results in Wellington area and some others go to Kapiti College which is also good.

There are theatre groups in Otaki (Otaki Players) who are very friendly and put on shows and musicals, there's also the Kapiti Playhouse in Paraparaumu.

There are all the usual offices such as the council and small businesses for local work. There are larger town centres in Levin and towards Wellington in Porirua for more local work. I have an easy commute up SH1 in 30 mins and OH gets the train to Welly so it suits us well. Both primary schools offer Childcare from 7 am to 7 pm.

If you're on fb, join the group Destination Waikanae for a taste of living here!

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Brilliant info. Thanks so much. I just checked and the train from waikanae to welly is 1h exactly or 56mins on the faster service. It's doable as a commute, I've done 1h commute by train before and its slightly on the long side but it beats driving and its amazing how many books you get through..

We'll give Welly/Kapiti a go and we can always move elsewhere in time if necessary. Thanks again.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

I like having a proper fire, so that appeals. Good to hear the winter is just 3 months. I'm used to 7 months.

Yes, I'd heard that the schools here are good. We've had a look at the tki website for the ERO reports. Also, nice to hear there's plenty of community things available. Most sport things are seasonal over in the UK too, cricket in the spring/summer, lacrosse/rugby in the autumn/winter. I would like to know if there are any lacrosse clubs (for boys) in the Wellington region. I looked online and my search was inconclusive. It is a growing sport in NZ and I know there are some clubs in Aucks.

That sounds good.

I'll do that! Thanks v much :thumbsup: I'm feeling more optimistic after reading your post.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

Does the earthquake risk not worry you? It would me.

I've been to Wellington a few times, can't say it has got much going for it. The weather's dodgy (windy most of the time) and the city itself quite down at heel. The traffic is appalling, the airport is downright terrifying and most homes seem to be perched on the sides of cliffs. Take a walk through using google streetview and see what I mean.
The novelty quickly fades when you've experienced New Zealand's trains.

I think you should listen to your friend's advice, work there first and then get the family to follow you later. Even then, don't sell up. Give it a year or two and see how it works out. Then decide.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

MrF likes the commute time, means he can either sleep or catch up on some paperwork. He then has a 15min to the office from the station where he picks up a coffee and knowing him a cake or two.

Only problem is its one line and when there are problems he is either stuck in welly or stuck at home, or anywhere in between dependent on where the problem is. He has experienced more travel problems here than he did in the UK, not delays but just not running or running short of destination and then having to wait around for bus replacements which are never enough to take all the passengers in a comfy fashion. But the journey is more picturesque

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

yeh yeh, its got bricks I can see and is on the ground. :lol: anyway get off here and enjoy the trees :P

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

I'm sorry but I have been to Welly, the city did not feel at all down at heel. Trust me, I'd recognise that anywhere. The traffic is a million times better than where I am at present. Even Aucks is better than here and I know Welly apart from a few pinch points is generally ok by UK standards.

Again this isn't a problem for reasons I won't go into on here.

There is a decidedly anti NZ feel to your posts. Did you just sign up here to try to put others off for purely altruistic reasons?

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

No more so than if I had the opportunity to work in California or Japan. It is a risk, but a small one. Theres a much higher chance of dying through being run over. So in short no, it doesn't worry me enough not to live there. A few rumbles would be ok. A bigger one and you take your chances and hope preparation is sufficient.

Re: Job offer Wellington but wife concerned
 

If you can manage it without selling your UK home, I do find this is good advice as you never know what will happen or how people will feel.