Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
Apr 14th 2013, 10:59 pm
#16
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
I'd countersue - 100,000 quid for emotional blackmail, blackmail, and stress. See the little rodent run back under his rock, then! 
Apr 15th 2013, 8:21 am
#17
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
No grounds, he just wants the money now! I agreed to give him £6000 when I sold my house to enable him to visit the children - it was one of 6 conditions he insisted on in order to sign the original permission.
Apr 15th 2013, 8:31 am
#18
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
Is that condition in the agreement signed by the Solicitors?
did you state in that condition that the 6K can only be used for that reason and that you would hold it in a fund for him and when he needs to book flights you would do it with that money?
did you state in that condition that the 6K can only be used for that reason and that you would hold it in a fund for him and when he needs to book flights you would do it with that money?
Apr 15th 2013, 8:37 am
#19
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
Thank you, it's the children who are suffering most. I'm used to his evil ways.
. What a complete barsteward! As others have said, back to the solicitors tomorrow & get it sorted that way. He hasn't a leg to stand on.
Apr 15th 2013, 8:53 am
#20
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
I have his original letter stating the things I had to do for him to sign in the first place. That is where the money for contact, twice a year til lad reached 16, was demanded. i said I would pay it to his Solicitor (I was worried he would spend it and not come to see the children)
I've just rung the guy who I thought was his Solicitor to be told he has nothing to do with him.
Apr 15th 2013, 8:54 am
#21
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OMG j19fmm, I thought mine was an emotional roller coaster
I'm afraid police will not be able to do anything as its a civil matter
I'm not a lawyer but in my experience anything that is agreed via solicitors is very hard to get out of. I would suggest that unless he can prove that things have changed since he signed, like he's found out your a drug dealing child abuser (joke) then he won't be able to get out of it and it will be legally binding
back to your solicitors 9 am tomorrow I'm afraid
You know where I am if you want to chat
I'm afraid police will not be able to do anything as its a civil matter
I'm not a lawyer but in my experience anything that is agreed via solicitors is very hard to get out of. I would suggest that unless he can prove that things have changed since he signed, like he's found out your a drug dealing child abuser (joke) then he won't be able to get out of it and it will be legally binding
back to your solicitors 9 am tomorrow I'm afraid
You know where I am if you want to chat
Apr 15th 2013, 9:12 am
#22
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
Drink!!! Never rains but it pours. Now we have the Visa, the job and the buyer for the house...the ex sends a letter stating that unless I give him £6000 within the next 17 days he will take away his permission for my 14 year old son to go to NZ with the rest of us.
Extortion?
Extortion?
He sounds like a complete bell end.
I hope you manage to sort out your problems and not let Mr Greedy spoil your dreams.
Apr 15th 2013, 10:48 am
#23
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
2. As others have said, blackmail and extortion are criminal offences. Since there appears to be no basis/motivation for this other than extracting money from you, you could make a complaint to the Police and insist they investigate it as a criminal matter. See a solicitor on point 1 first, though.
Last edited by JAJ; Apr 15th 2013 at 11:17 am.
Apr 15th 2013, 5:49 pm
#24
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
OMG Fi, I am so sorry to hear this. He has really surpassed himself with this one.
I agree with everyone else, speak to your solicitor and go from there.
If you have agreed that the money goes to the solicitor for flights, then that is where it goes. If he has signed and agreed to this then I can't see how he can get away with asking for the money directly. He can't change his mind once everything is legal.
Sounds like he is just pushing his luck-stay strong and tell him to get lost or you'll contact the police!
Best of luck and you'll be living it up in NZ in no time
I agree with everyone else, speak to your solicitor and go from there.
If you have agreed that the money goes to the solicitor for flights, then that is where it goes. If he has signed and agreed to this then I can't see how he can get away with asking for the money directly. He can't change his mind once everything is legal.
Sounds like he is just pushing his luck-stay strong and tell him to get lost or you'll contact the police!
Best of luck and you'll be living it up in NZ in no time
Apr 15th 2013, 6:51 pm
#25
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
Yep I'd join everyone else on saying not only does he not have a legal leg to stand on but I reckon he's just gone and almightily shot himself in the foot. Please try not to lose any sleep over it. See your solicitor asap but in your shoes I'd feel safe to reassure your kiddos that this won't disrupt your plans.
Apr 15th 2013, 6:58 pm
#26
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
Thank you all for your support, nice to know it's not just me who thinks he's a lying cheating t*sser 
Probably the only real way to find out for sure is by asking the guy who was our immigration officer in Wellington but I'm so scared he just turns round and says we're more trouble than it's worth...this is not the first time the ex has interferred.
Probably the only real way to find out for sure is by asking the guy who was our immigration officer in Wellington but I'm so scared he just turns round and says we're more trouble than it's worth...this is not the first time the ex has interferred.
Apr 15th 2013, 7:09 pm
#27
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
He has signed a legal document agreeing to everything. He cannot then turn round and say he wants to change his mind. If this wasn't the case then all legal documents would become worthless.
Speak to your solicitor and get this all documented just in case. I would say there's no point speaking to your CO at the moment.
I don't feel he has a leg to stand on and is now in the realms of blackmail so he has really destroyed any standing he might have had. Try not to worry though I know it's impossible not to
Thinking of you xx
Speak to your solicitor and get this all documented just in case. I would say there's no point speaking to your CO at the moment.
I don't feel he has a leg to stand on and is now in the realms of blackmail so he has really destroyed any standing he might have had. Try not to worry though I know it's impossible not to
Thinking of you xx
Apr 15th 2013, 9:45 pm
#28
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
Sorry if you've already said this, I'm tired and skimming, but if the £6k you are giving him later down the line is to enable him to visit his kids overseas, then what the flip does he need it for now? You're not even over there yet! Doesn't this prove that he doesn't intend to use it for the agreed purpose, thus indicating he doesn't care about his kids as much as he says he does and thus leaving him even less of a leg to stand on?
Apr 15th 2013, 10:01 pm
#29
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.
1. See a solicitor immediately. He may have no legal grounds to "withdraw" permission if it has been given in writing. And as long as the solicitor advises you of that in writing, then since you have your visas you may be able to ignore the threat.
2. As others have said, blackmail and extortion are criminal offences. Since there appears to be no basis/motivation for this other than extracting money from you, you could make a complaint to the Police and insist they investigate it as a criminal matter. See a solicitor on point 1 first, though.
2. As others have said, blackmail and extortion are criminal offences. Since there appears to be no basis/motivation for this other than extracting money from you, you could make a complaint to the Police and insist they investigate it as a criminal matter. See a solicitor on point 1 first, though.
Do it Fi.
Apr 15th 2013, 10:03 pm
#30
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Re: Ex threatening to withdraw permission for son to go to NZ unless money is paid.