homesick harry

Hi,
have been reading the forum for ages now, decided to post & ask some opinions & advice.
I am currently in NZ & very homesick, not just for family & friends, but have got that awful feeling of not belonging, not feeling at home, & missing the way of life we had at home.
I could go on & on about what i think is wrong with NZ, but i will list the following in no particular order.

Cost of living isn't cheaper than the UK, but wages are less.
Lack of travel opportunites to other countries.
Standards of a lot of properties for sale or rent.
Lack of modern infrastructure in cities.
lack of facilities in many places.
Interest rates
Possibility of NZ$ decreasing massively against GBP
Driving culture (having to drive everywhere)
Kiwis - I just cant get into the whole kiwi ideal & mentality of things.
Standard of public transport
Healthcare & the fact NZ has lots of 'highest figures of........'

We've been here for 18 months now, with a break in the UK last year. I know the UK has its social problems, but i actually think it has a structure that tries at least to help modern day life, that i dont think exists here.
I would love to go back to the UK, but am nervous about doing so, regarding the cost of properties, i'm not sure how my credit rating is doing, but when it all comes down to it, its home & i miss it. We just dont feel happy here, our relationship just doesnt feel like 'us' as we've had to change so many things we like doing because of the financial constraints of NZ salaries & annual holiday entitlement (15 days).
We were so excited about coming away & coming back once we'd been in the UK in the middle, but just dont feel like we're progressing any, is it OK for people who've been so determined etc to go somewhere & it just doesn't happen for them. Simple, you try & try & it just doesnt happen, something is missing.
Any advice or thoughts would be welcome, as i feel like i'm going mad.
I would like to know anyone's thought, regardless of country on moving away / coming back, the problems they felt, the things they missed, whether they had fears over 'bigger picture' things like a countries economy or currency value, healthcare etc.

Thanks

turkeytickler

Hello Harry - sorry its not working out for you.....

Im not sure I can offer you any advice maybe just a little empathy - you are not alone in your feelings and observations.... Im finding it hard with christmas coming up....

Whereabouts are you?

Pompey_Paul

Sorry to hear that pal..........

tottefan

It certainly sounds like you are missing the UK. I think you should just do what you feel is best - if you don't like NZ then you'd probably be much happier in the UK.


tottefan.

homesick harry

its not that i dont like NZ, its just that i think my perceptions of what i want a place to give me has changed. I figure if you're not getting what you want from life, doesnt matter where you are, similarly if you aere getting what you want from life it doesnt matter either.
When we went back to the UK, we had a great time, (we were there for 9 months, so not a holiday), was nervous about coming back to NZ, but did so anyway just to 'scratch our itch', but its just not doing it for us now, just cant fit in, cant get my head around buying a house with a tin roof, or with no insulation / central heating etc, dont like the thought of not being able to jump on a plane for 50 quid & being somewhere in 2 hours with 1000's of years of history, dont know what to do for the best.
Love NZ's beaches everywhere, like the ability to just jump in the sea with our kayaks, but thats about it, i dont feel connected here, feel totally alien now.
Anyone else know what i mean ??

turkeytickler

It is very hard to integrate with kiwis because their social lives are more family orientated ... this is by definition exclusive

homesick harry

That doesn't bother me so much, I find that they're always trying to prove something, & can find some of them pretentious.
I dont know if its something to do with being a new country & miles away from anywhere, but they seem to be striving for some kind of identity. I can't stand the fact they have disassociated themselves with their British heritage, they slag of brits, but they've all got british blood in them. This doesn't translate to other countries though, they're all proud to have french / german / whatever blood somewhere down the line, or they're happy to claim 1/64th Maori in them, but they cant bring themselves to be part European. My point regarding this is they seem to have forgotten or don't want to know where they've come from, & this breeds the striving for an identity thing i mentioned. I'm not keen on people who don't remember where they've come from, I like heritage & history in a person & in a place & i dont get that here.

turkeytickler

I agree that there is a real chip on the shoulder of some kiwis and it just makes them come across as very ignorant... this is one of the reasons we are moving back to the uk next year - i have an 8 week old son and the thought of him growing up with a kiwi accent, walking around barefoot, thinking Speights is the best beer in the world and generally doing the old "my house is huge compared to yours" thing that antipodeans do when then visit the UK fills me with terror...

homesick harry

i hate the old my house routine - Yes their house is bigger, but its also probably got a tin roof, no insulation, is damp, old & gives NZ kids higher asthma rates than any other country going.
I'd rather live in any english house than in some i see here that they're charging $300k + for. Ridiculous housing stock in this country, it makes it feel like a 3rd world place at times.
How long have you been here TT & how long was it before you thought 'D'OH'
what the hell have we done here then.

turkeytickler

here since early august - but visited twice before - was getting cold feet by early sept!

homesick harry

bloody hell, thats quicker than mine !!!! you happy with your decision ?? did it feel like a weight off ??
If you dont mind me asking, are you going back to the UK financially OK, are has this whole thing cost you a bomb.
Whats the difference for you, from visiting, whats your fears, apart from your baby etc, i'd love to know.

turkeytickler

First, both my wife and I can walk back into our old jobs in the UK so its an easy decision to make and not a big step.
The difference between visiting and living is frankly for me if you are visiting you know you are not stuck here forever! When i came here i had a pretty idea about what I would find on the negative side - I hoped that I would find other positives to cancel them out but unfortunately i have yet to do so.... More sunshine is not enough.

My fears (should we stay) are;
- NZ is geologically young and due for a big earthquake sooner rather than later - rather not be here when that happens
- My wife and I still get our income from the UK in £s - this will not last forever and i am scared of having to live off a $NZ income
- The weather isnt that great here- although very warm today - but its normally cold and windy
- I dont like the way cities are going with car dependancy and suburban malls.
- I dont want my son to have fewer doors open to him than his peers just because he has no maori in his bloodline
- I want my son to be worldly and have a sense of humour
- I want my son to see and feel Europe, not visit in on a coach
- Many people, myself included observe that shop assistants and the like are more friendly and articulate than the grunters you get in the uk. I think this is because they are better educated. The reason is that well educated kiwis have far fewer opportunities unless they leave NZ, so they have to take lower quality jobs. I dont want that for my son.
- I dont want my son to get to 18, go out and see the real world and stay there - leaving me to rot here

homesick harry

The NZ$$ thing is a major problem, last week we had $850 in the bank, we've hardly done anything & now we've got $41 in there, in 7 days, shocking.
I know what you mean about wanting kids to feel europe & european, i worked with a guy in Chch who was a kiwi & reckoned that europe has been through so much stuff in its history, it has a proud sense of self & has started to live life, for life, as europeans know its all too short. Whereas Kiwi's seem pre-occupied with small petty issues, i agree with him, being here makes me proud to be European, it even makes me proud to be English & a Northerner at that.
I read something on here that said NZ schools are 2 years behind the learning levels of kids back home, thats a scary prospect, then i saw on tv about 3 weeks running that NZ had the highest rates of something, then something else & so on in the Developed World.
Living here, i just dont feel that its a modern country, yes it has technology etc, but i dont feel its suited for a life in the modern world. I dread to think how this country would cope with either Terrorism or Bird Flu, i was so proud of those people in London when the bombings happened, I dont know if there is the mentality or facility to cope with anything serious that may come this way.
I posted on another forum that i wake up scared every day in case something happens to myself of my partner, as there is no margin for error here with the costs of healthcare, the crappiness of company sick pay days, the facilities of healthcare here. Its an awful feeling to have.

turkeytickler

Healthcare is scary indeed - my only experience of it so far is my wife's labour - kicked out of hospital to another post natal care centre THREE HOURS after giving birth..... and no she wasnt taken by ambulance, she had to get up, showered, dressed and be driven by me. They did at least lend her a wheelchair to get to the car - the kind people

- ChCh Women's being a WHO "baby friendly" hospital - the Midwives here are fully paid up members of the breastfeeding nazi league....i wont discuss my wife's health on this forum but lets just say it was put at serious risk by midwives who insisted on her continuing to breastfeed when it clearly was not wise to do so....and it took a private lactation consultant get her the immediate medical attention she needed.

homesick harry

this is the sort of thing i'm talking about, this is terrifying to me & my partner. She's been reading all sorts of horror stories in the papers about birthing etc, saying babies are dying because midwives dont have the knowledge & skills to cope, what is is, Bangladesh, she's scared to death. We've got private healthcare, but it doesnt cover anything decent.
I know the Uk has MRSA, but i do trust my GP & doctors there.
I was thinking about this on lunch, NZ has got a lot of redeeming features in its landscapes & space etc, but its all superficial, i reckon its actually crap at real life stuff.
Healthcare, salaries, sick pay, buying things you need to live, like fridges (basic ones are $1500, you can get them for 200GBP at home), housing, roads, etc etc.
Its terrifying, i'd gladly put up with the crime at home to get the benefits of the NHS, cheap goods, good travel, good cover for sickness, warm houses etc.