UKNZAUS

Sadly my neighbour has just passed away She was 94 and has been very poorly for a while and has been very ill after another stroke a few days ago. Her husband looks lost, his daughter is here with him from Australia and he has other family around with him at the moment. They called me a few minutes ago to let me know she went very peacefully and I offered to do any shopping/cleaning/anything they need to make this easier for them a little.

Anyway, I don't know what to do now - should I buy flowers and a card? I just realised I don't know what is customary here and don't want to offend or hurt them with my ignorance Does anyone know what I can do?

Thanks,
Michelle x

Bo-Jangles

That's sad and everyone feels so helpless at times like this. There's really not much else you can do, other than to be there if required and I don't think anyone could be offended by such a kind gesture of flowers, it will make you feel better too.

Ted Logan

Yip flowers and card is the right thing to do.

UKNZAUS

Thanks you two. I'll go and look in town tomorrow for some nice florists. I've only known them for a month but it just feels like it's close... maybe it's because we've left grandparents behind ?!

lardyl

if you know the surname then check out the Rodney Times - may have some "flowers to", "donations only" instructions in the births, deaths, etc

garryhg

thats a lovely gesture,and it will be comforting for his family to know there is a caring person next dooreven though you didn't know her that well,when there is a death so close it does effect you....and make you miss your own family...jacky g

UKNZAUS

Carl brought home some lovely flowers so I've just been round with them. He was sleeping, bless him, and his daughter came down - then the phone rang and now he's running around

I just re-iterated everything I'd said on the phone, to call me if they need anything at all, however small!

Ted Logan

Thats the kiwi spirit

BEVS

First off - hugs to you for simply thinking about what is right. Second - don't be daft. Flowers , a card and an offer of help will be just fine. It is the same the world over Michelle. The nationalities may differ, but the sentiment remains exactly the same. Offer help , support, an ear and some time.

Perhaps don't wait for that call. It will not come. Wait a week or so, then just call in . Tap the door and offer shopping or a cup of tea, your ear etc. It doesn't have to be taken up but it will give warmth to the person who hears that from you.

When someone is very ill or you have been bereaved , it is the very, tiny, small things which matter. They count for a lot. Believe me.

Your neighbour has struck gold in you. I'd have you for my neighbour Michelle. You are made of the right stuff.

Bellasmum

As Bev has already said. Don't wait to be asked, just go over and see if there is something you can do, no matter how small.

I would cook a few biscuits, a cake or make some sammies and pop over and put the kettle on and make them a nice cuppa etc.

When my son passed away a neighbour I had never met arrived the day after the funeral with a cooked casserole for us. It was the best possible thing she could have done. I just couldn't believe that someone I didn't know could be so thoughful and kind.

Maybe you could also offer to house sit while the funeral is on. I don't know how often it happens but the funeral director told us there are some lowlife who watch the death notices for addresses to help themselves during the funeral.

Kiwiprincess

Also, if you have flowers/plants in your own garden these would be appreciated (ie they don't have to be perfect looking lillies from the florist). Though perfect looking lillies are lovely.

Wilma & co

How kind you are!! As other posters have said, it will be in the next week or two (and after that) when your neighbour may need support. Plus, his daughter will be easier in her mind on her return to Oz, knowing that kind neighbours are looking out for her dad!

Ted Logan

than you can steal their TV


Whoops sorry, that wasn't called for