Anyone moved back from NZ to the Lake District UK?
#76
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Hi Umbrellagirl. Sorry to hear your situation has not improved with the move. I understand fully your predicament. We moved back two years ago and I have to say that whilst really enjoying being back with family and loving the countryside and diversity here, the shine is beginning to wear a little thin now. We were in Auckland for 13 years and I can't believe how much UK has declined in that time. The roads are full of potholes, the high streets are mostly dead except for charity shops, betting shops, pound shops, tattoo parlours and Turkish barbers... Brexit has had a very depressing effect on the economy and most people with all the uncertainty surrounding it. House prices have come down, which is great if you want to buy but rents seem to be much higher now than when we left..and fewer people are now able to afford their own homes and are stuck in the rental system..becoming much more like NZ in that respect. I have actually been working in children's services for the past 18 months (admin) and am horrified at the workload and stress put upon the social workers..they are leaving in their droves and many of them are stressed to the limit. Funding cutbacks everywhere have meant there are just too many cases for too few workers and I actually left due to the constant pressure of having to meet statutory deadlines even though nothing ever changed or improved the lives of the children in need. It felt like there was always a tragedy just waiting to happen. And we live in a relatively affluent area in the South East...I can't begin to imagine what it must be like in many of the more deprived areas of UK. So.. all in all I would think long and hard about returning to the UK if you really enjoy life in NZ. For all the negatives here at the moment, I am still glad to be back in this part of the world..NZ never felt like home to me and I never settled there. I enjoy the proximity of Europe and the amount of things to do and places to visit. However, we now realise we detest the long, dark, cold winters and can't envisage staying here forever. I don't think we would ever return to NZ permanently but we are definitely looking at options and considering retiring somewhere warmer than UK when the time comes (we've got a couple of years to go yet) and with that in mind we are looking at France or Spain....although that might be much more difficult now with the Brexit debacle taking place. There is definitely a very unsettled feeling here and I don't think it's the ideal time to return...maybe wait and see how things go after Brexit? Sorry to be the bearer of not such negativity....and this of course is only my own experience. Others may have an entirely different view and experience. Good luck with whatever you decide.

#77
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Declined? To be honest I don't know when it was different and the Charity shops, betting shops, pound shops, tattoo parlours and Turkish barbers were always around long before Brexit. Whenever I drove back from England, even the more affluent towns had areas close by that seemed rougher than the roughest parts here and that was years ago. But it's just the norm these days and even France and Spain are not exempt. The only difference is that Brits just don't end up in these places/ or let's say end up in the touristic parts, so don't really see the issues as much.
I actually agree with this as I do think people remember towns being better than they were although I do think there has been a slight decline in the high street across most the uk - BUT this is because we have changed the way we shop. We buy pretty much everything online because its easier and cheaper. In NZ the high streets are thriving yes but then we are all moaning at the stupidly high prices over there that are charged in these shops and the lack of selection. Once amazon and some of the other bigger boys get better access to the NZ market and cheaper prices are available it will follow suit. Its a changing time for the high street and it actually needs rethinking which I believe is what is happening here. Its now a place for services rather than shops - cafes, hairdressers, nail salons etc are doing the best trades in towns now.
I think people are reflecting on the perceived demise of town centres as a representation as the UK as a whole. Its not, the world and the UK has changed. Doesn't have to be seen as all bad! I'm quite optimistic to see how British town centres are used in the future. Pot holes in the roads - always has been, what else did we used to jump in as kids? Try parts of America - you will see some of the worst roads in my experience, with only roads in India beating them.
Oh and don't read what is going on in London as a sign as what is going on in England as a whole. Thats only what the Daily Mail would like to make you think. Is England perfect? Of course not - no where is!

#78
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I actually agree with this as I do think people remember towns being better than they were although I do think there has been a slight decline in the high street across most the uk - BUT this is because we have changed the way we shop. We buy pretty much everything online because its easier and cheaper. In NZ the high streets are thriving yes but then we are all moaning at the stupidly high prices over there that are charged in these shops and the lack of selection. Once amazon and some of the other bigger boys get better access to the NZ market and cheaper prices are available it will follow suit. Its a changing time for the high street and it actually needs rethinking which I believe is what is happening here. Its now a place for services rather than shops - cafes, hairdressers, nail salons etc are doing the best trades in towns now.
I think people are reflecting on the perceived demise of town centres as a representation as the UK as a whole. Its not, the world and the UK has changed. Doesn't have to be seen as all bad! I'm quite optimistic to see how British town centres are used in the future. Pot holes in the roads - always has been, what else did we used to jump in as kids? Try parts of America - you will see some of the worst roads in my experience, with only roads in India beating them.
Oh and don't read what is going on in London as a sign as what is going on in England as a whole. Thats only what the Daily Mail would like to make you think. Is England perfect? Of course not - no where is!
I think people are reflecting on the perceived demise of town centres as a representation as the UK as a whole. Its not, the world and the UK has changed. Doesn't have to be seen as all bad! I'm quite optimistic to see how British town centres are used in the future. Pot holes in the roads - always has been, what else did we used to jump in as kids? Try parts of America - you will see some of the worst roads in my experience, with only roads in India beating them.
Oh and don't read what is going on in London as a sign as what is going on in England as a whole. Thats only what the Daily Mail would like to make you think. Is England perfect? Of course not - no where is!
I would actually say that many of the deprived areas are in the South East, as there are just too many people and pollution. If you look at Cumbria, it's a different world and you can still enjoy the fresh air.

#79
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I actually agree with this as I do think people remember towns being better than they were although I do think there has been a slight decline in the high street across most the uk - BUT this is because we have changed the way we shop. We buy pretty much everything online because its easier and cheaper. In NZ the high streets are thriving yes but then we are all moaning at the stupidly high prices over there that are charged in these shops and the lack of selection. Once amazon and some of the other bigger boys get better access to the NZ market and cheaper prices are available it will follow suit. Its a changing time for the high street and it actually needs rethinking which I believe is what is happening here. Its now a place for services rather than shops - cafes, hairdressers, nail salons etc are doing the best trades in towns now.
I think people are reflecting on the perceived demise of town centres as a representation as the UK as a whole. Its not, the world and the UK has changed. Doesn't have to be seen as all bad! I'm quite optimistic to see how British town centres are used in the future. Pot holes in the roads - always has been, what else did we used to jump in as kids? Try parts of America - you will see some of the worst roads in my experience, with only roads in India beating them.
Oh and don't read what is going on in London as a sign as what is going on in England as a whole. Thats only what the Daily Mail would like to make you think. Is England perfect? Of course not - no where is!
I think people are reflecting on the perceived demise of town centres as a representation as the UK as a whole. Its not, the world and the UK has changed. Doesn't have to be seen as all bad! I'm quite optimistic to see how British town centres are used in the future. Pot holes in the roads - always has been, what else did we used to jump in as kids? Try parts of America - you will see some of the worst roads in my experience, with only roads in India beating them.
Oh and don't read what is going on in London as a sign as what is going on in England as a whole. Thats only what the Daily Mail would like to make you think. Is England perfect? Of course not - no where is!
If you wanna buy something in NZ you have to go a certain shop. Such as electric items, Kids toys, Books games dvds, cheap clothes anything that's not food.
In UK you just go to Tescos or Asda and pick something up when you doing your weekly shop so yoir not going into town as much to buy goods.

#80

They are not thriving in my areas here in NZ . At least not from how many charity shops are opening on empty premises.

#81

Nor in mine.
I feel the UK town centre has died a death due to the number of big out of town retail parks that have popped up and the ease of online shopping with next day delivery.
It has been 4 years since I was back in the UK but my local high streets (Wigan, Bolton, Preston, Southport) were dead then. We only visited the likes of Liverpool 1 and other similar large shopping centres as they offer the full experience with pubs / restaurants / cinema etc all in the one place.
I feel the UK town centre has died a death due to the number of big out of town retail parks that have popped up and the ease of online shopping with next day delivery.
It has been 4 years since I was back in the UK but my local high streets (Wigan, Bolton, Preston, Southport) were dead then. We only visited the likes of Liverpool 1 and other similar large shopping centres as they offer the full experience with pubs / restaurants / cinema etc all in the one place.

#82

Most high streets in NZ could never be described as thriving; it seems all empty shops are taken over by Charities or the ubiquitous $2 shops and pop-ups selling shit that nobody really wanted the first time around.

#83
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Declined? To be honest I don't know when it was different and the Charity shops, betting shops, pound shops, tattoo parlours and Turkish barbers were always around long before Brexit. Whenever I drove back from England, even the more affluent towns had areas close by that seemed rougher than the roughest parts here and that was years ago. But it's just the norm these days and even France and Spain are not exempt. The only difference is that Brits just don't end up in these places/ or let's say end up in the touristic parts, so don't really see the issues as much.

#84
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Sorry if it’s already been posted but someone sent me this article by a British journalist living in NZ who is returning to the UK. An interesting read:
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/28-...o-new-zealand/
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/28-...o-new-zealand/

#85
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,617












Sorry if it’s already been posted but someone sent me this article by a British journalist living in NZ who is returning to the UK. An interesting read:
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/28-...o-new-zealand/
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/28-...o-new-zealand/


#86

The UK is not London & NZ is not fjordland .

#87
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 91












Sorry if it’s already been posted but someone sent me this article by a British journalist living in NZ who is returning to the UK. An interesting read:
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/28-...o-new-zealand/
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/28-...o-new-zealand/

#88
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 1


Oh my gosh this was exactly the kind of post I was looking for! My husband and I are both from the UK but I have been in NZ 10 years now and he nearly 7, and we both met out here. We spent a year in 2016 back in the Uk where he is from; the Lake District. I hated it to begin with, having never planned on returning, not knowing the area (I'm from down south where the weather is definitely better!) or anyone there, it was hard. I got offered a fantastic job back in NZ after we'd been back for only 7 or so months and we decided to head back. He had also found it hard to adjust back to life back home. So now we're in NZ again (South Island) but I can't stop thinking about home. By the time we actually left we'd spent about a year in the lakes and I adored it by then. I was so content with life and loved all the walks. I didn't love the rain, but I LOVED radiators. And just feeling connected to a place, to the history, to the countryside. I miss the birds, family being close by, hopping on a train to somewhere, being able to actually easily go to a city close by (central otago area feels so, so remote). I don't know if this is all stemming from the fact we're thinking of starting a family soon, and it just makes me wish we were closer to our parents. I have two sisters out here (well one in Auckland one in Aus) but I'm really close with my husband's family too and I feel like I don't want to be so far away from them when we have a baby. We would have no issues returning to NZ if we ever chose to as my Mum is kiwi so I've a NZ passport and my husband has permanent residency. We're in the process of building a house here at the moment too and I adore my job (early childhood teacher) and I know my job would not be the same back home as here I am classed as a fully qualified teacher but I am not sure how it would work in the UK as my qualification is from birth-5 years. But I can't help thinking family and feeling a sense of home/belonging is surely the most important thing? And having a cold Christmas.
What are your thoughts now you've been back a little while? Are you happy you did it? When we were back the main thing I missed was a good coffee/breakfast (though check out homeground in Windermere if you're ever there - best coffee I found while back) and having ski mountains on our door step but other than that it felt great to be there (after the initial settling in period). We both just kick ourselves we didn't give home more time to settle, and now know if we did return everyone would think us mad, not to mention the crazy cost of moving back AGAIN. It's such a hard decision! The Lakes District is a pretty magical place.
What are your thoughts now you've been back a little while? Are you happy you did it? When we were back the main thing I missed was a good coffee/breakfast (though check out homeground in Windermere if you're ever there - best coffee I found while back) and having ski mountains on our door step but other than that it felt great to be there (after the initial settling in period). We both just kick ourselves we didn't give home more time to settle, and now know if we did return everyone would think us mad, not to mention the crazy cost of moving back AGAIN. It's such a hard decision! The Lakes District is a pretty magical place.
So a update - just 10 days shy of the original post when we were deciding to move back to the UK.
Things are going really well and we do not regret our decision to move back one bit so far after 6 months. We bought a house in Kendal in Cumbria and couldn't be more pleased. Its been great reacquainting ourselves with old friends and making new ones. So here are some positives and negatives from me, bearing in mind I had been living in NZ since my early 20s some 15 years ago. I lived and breathed NZ, became and Kiwi, had a house, car, cats and never thought I would return but after having a family it felt like the right time to do it. It wasn't easy at all but I just wanted to share our information for anyone who might want or need it.
appreciate this is maybe quite specific to the area we have moved back to, you couldn't pay me enough to move to London or any large UK city.
Main pluses
b
Things are going really well and we do not regret our decision to move back one bit so far after 6 months. We bought a house in Kendal in Cumbria and couldn't be more pleased. Its been great reacquainting ourselves with old friends and making new ones. So here are some positives and negatives from me, bearing in mind I had been living in NZ since my early 20s some 15 years ago. I lived and breathed NZ, became and Kiwi, had a house, car, cats and never thought I would return but after having a family it felt like the right time to do it. It wasn't easy at all but I just wanted to share our information for anyone who might want or need it.
appreciate this is maybe quite specific to the area we have moved back to, you couldn't pay me enough to move to London or any large UK city.
Main pluses
- The countryside and walks - its open to everyone - you can go pretty much everywhere! The freedom you feel in places especially like the lakes and dales is like nothing else. South island is stunning yes but a lot of it is owned and private or so isolated you would hardly ever go there. As a big walker I can't get enough of it. Even just around Kendal we have small walks with nature trails we can take our little one on all for free and walkable from our house.
- National Trust - we became members upon our return and can now go to loads of places around the country without paying and the places are BRILLIANT. Alan Bank in Grasmere on a sunny afternoon? Yes please!
- Family - A stones throw away. Our little girl will grow up by her grandparents and auntie who all adore her - I couldn't be more happy about this.
- Friends just pop round - its so much easier, always seemed to have to be so arranged in advance in our circles in Auckland - but here it happens spontaniously which is so refreshing.
- Motorways - people keep to the left (!). Its a small thing but something NZ has lacked eduction on/in and therefore the roads run more smoothly (yes with more traffic on them even) and more safely without crazy undertaking everywhere!
- Houses/Central Heating - Yes maybe smaller and closer together but warm and easier maintenance. Pricewise not half a million quid for nicely painted large wooden shed with damp issues. Central heating should never be under rated.
- Music and TV - turn on the radio you hear music that is familiar and 'good' music. Turn on the TV and its not all American shows.
- Birds - the sounds of British birds in the morning when you wake up - its just homely.
- Prices - normality of the cost of things is finally back.
- People say hello - yes the great British "Morning" or "Hello" to complete strangers is still strong, especially in the North of England.
- Pubs - You know what I mean on this - British pubs have always been the best. I especially don't miss the small town NZ "pubs" with flouro lights, rugby memorabilia everywhere, terrible beer and moustached locals giving you a sideways look.
- Football - I don't have to watch it on my laptop in my pyjamas on my own anymore - its a social affair and exciting to be back around it!
- Weather - yes weather! We have had weeks of 20+ degrees up here already and according to our local friends, it has been doing this the last few years most likely and sadly due to climate change. For me those warm temperatures are just right and not humid which used to kill me in Auckland. Yes it will be rainy more but hey it rains a lot in Auckland too and being cold is more manageable here as homes are warm and you don't need a mortgage for warm clothes.
- Supermarket plastic. My god, everything is wrapped in something here and when you think of the scale things are bought on here due to population it is frightening!
- Coffee - it is still mainly awful. Large cups of boiling milk with no froth and a hint of burned coffee. Barely anywhere knows actually what a real flat white is here. All the machines are button timed things that teenage staff can work and no barista skills employed. There are some artisan cafes around with better results but we are seriously looking at buying a Rocket coffee machine before we go cold Turkey! NZ coffee is the best I have known and the cafe scene is brilliant in Auckland and Wellington especially.
- Brexit. Mainly just due to it dragging. Everyone who is a Remainer talks openly about it as though everyone in the room agrees with them whilst the Leavers just keep quiet. Despite what you read/hear from what we see here the country is split with generally a attitude of just get on with it now. I didn't vote on it and just wish they would do what they need to do either way and concentrate on more pressing issues like the environment/climate change/survival of mankind.
- Work - I am freelance and finding it tough to get established and the rates I can charge here are slightly depressing. That said, the cost of living is much cheaper so I just have to remember this. It will take time and I will keep plugging away at it.
b

#89
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Oh my gosh this was exactly the kind of post I was looking for! My husband and I are both from the UK but I have been in NZ 10 years now and he nearly 7, and we both met out here. We spent a year in 2016 back in the Uk where he is from; the Lake District. I hated it to begin with, having never planned on returning, not knowing the area (I'm from down south where the weather is definitely better!) or anyone there, it was hard. I got offered a fantastic job back in NZ after we'd been back for only 7 or so months and we decided to head back. He had also found it hard to adjust back to life back home. So now we're in NZ again (South Island) but I can't stop thinking about home. By the time we actually left we'd spent about a year in the lakes and I adored it by then. I was so content with life and loved all the walks. I didn't love the rain, but I LOVED radiators. And just feeling connected to a place, to the history, to the countryside. I miss the birds, family being close by, hopping on a train to somewhere, being able to actually easily go to a city close by (central otago area feels so, so remote). I don't know if this is all stemming from the fact we're thinking of starting a family soon, and it just makes me wish we were closer to our parents. I have two sisters out here (well one in Auckland one in Aus) but I'm really close with my husband's family too and I feel like I don't want to be so far away from them when we have a baby. We would have no issues returning to NZ if we ever chose to as my Mum is kiwi so I've a NZ passport and my husband has permanent residency. We're in the process of building a house here at the moment too and I adore my job (early childhood teacher) and I know my job would not be the same back home as here I am classed as a fully qualified teacher but I am not sure how it would work in the UK as my qualification is from birth-5 years. But I can't help thinking family and feeling a sense of home/belonging is surely the most important thing? And having a cold Christmas.
What are your thoughts now you've been back a little while? Are you happy you did it? When we were back the main thing I missed was a good coffee/breakfast (though check out homeground in Windermere if you're ever there - best coffee I found while back) and having ski mountains on our door step but other than that it felt great to be there (after the initial settling in period). We both just kick ourselves we didn't give home more time to settle, and now know if we did return everyone would think us mad, not to mention the crazy cost of moving back AGAIN. It's such a hard decision! The Lakes District is a pretty magical place.
What are your thoughts now you've been back a little while? Are you happy you did it? When we were back the main thing I missed was a good coffee/breakfast (though check out homeground in Windermere if you're ever there - best coffee I found while back) and having ski mountains on our door step but other than that it felt great to be there (after the initial settling in period). We both just kick ourselves we didn't give home more time to settle, and now know if we did return everyone would think us mad, not to mention the crazy cost of moving back AGAIN. It's such a hard decision! The Lakes District is a pretty magical place.
rejc86 - my apologies for this really late reply! It is actually my second attempt after the first long reply was lost when I left it before posting it and when I came back to the page the reply was gone. So anyway - its always really pleasing that people have found this thread useful in someway so thank you. Things here are still great and no real regrets from us - very happy we did it and in some ways wish we had done it sooner. The lakes are as magical as ever and despite the numbers of people on a great weather day it still is IMO one if not the best place on the planet to call home - and I have travelled and lived in many places around the world. We just simply can't get enough of exploring places new and old to us and just feeling of freedom for me is unparalleled. I grew up around and worked in the lakes in my early 20s so it was always special to me, getting to work here again is a absolute privilege to me. Otago don't get me wrong is absolutely breath taking in places but for me always had a sense of being remote and lonely (maybe what some people would love!).
It sounds like you are in a tricky situation being in the middle of a house build etc but nothing is impossible if you want it enough and plan well. Having kids was definitely the tipping point for us - my other half is Kiwi but not especially close to her parents so when our little girl came along I wanted here to be close to my side of the family. That said I think you have to have your expectations here sorted in your head though before embarking on a move. It is different here and you will have to try and really think to remember what its like living here on the day to day and think if that is right for you. Those cold dark mornings where you can smell the rain when you set out to work, the grotty service stations on the M6, those run down shopping centres with teenage parents smoking around their kids, the many minimum waged jobs you might have to consider - its all still here.
Homeground is a great cafe - and there are a few great options in Kendal too. Windermere (town) is a funny one - we looked to find a house there but it has lots of holiday homes makes it a little too transient and touristy, Kendal is where locals live and nearly always has something going on - we love it.
Where we lived in Titirangi in Auckland I met a lady from Staverly which is just down the road from us now. We were already well into the plans of moving to the lakes which I told her about. She told me even though they had been in NZ for over 20 years they would move back to the lakes tomorrow - if it was easy. I've discussed it with other members on here about the 13 year itch on moving back. I think once people have been over there for 15 years plus, people either give up, lose hope, get too old and/or read the Daily Mail too much and believe the country has run into disrepute. It's changed, positively and negatively - as has NZ of which I'm sure Kiwis would be varied in their beliefs if its for the better or worse.
I don't know if this helps - maybe I will post some pics of the lakes to see if that wets your appetite.

#90
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Joined: Nov 2019
Location: Wellington NZ
Posts: 3


Hi. I’m new to the site. I joined just to comment on this thread!
I am from the Lake District and have lived in NZ for 5 years in feb. Met my kiwi partner in Lancaster in 2014, moved to NZ with him in 2015, Had twins in 2016 and now pregnant with our third (due June 2020).
We have been back home in 2017 & just recently in August and when I am there I feel so happy and complete, I dread coming back to NZ and when I’m back I just feel deflated. I am so lonely here, I don’t like anything about NZ - apart from the summer weather - which I can do without. I miss my mum, dad and grandma and everything about the UK.
For 5 years I’ve said how much I miss it and I’d move home in a heartbeat.
My partner LOVES the UK and wouldn’t mind living there either. After coming back from UK in September I said, I need to move back for my sanity and I’d rather do it before the boys get much older. He somewhat agreed but since then has gone on about how he is pretty well set up here, can take over his fathers business, has a house, has land to build another, how it would break his parents hearts etc etc.
Not forgetting my parents hearts are broken not having us close with their first grandchildren (partner has two siblings who both live in NZ - there’s chance for them to have more grandchildren here but not for my parents as my sister lives in aus, has no strong desire to have children and hates the UK) so I don’t think that’s a fair comment to make as they have had us so close (living next door) for 5 years.
That’s another thing that restricts us here in NZ too, we can’t even move from here, from right next door to his parents. The thought of living here for the rest of my life makes me sick and full of constant worry and anxiety.
I feel my partner does not understand/or want to try to understand how I feel at all. Having another child has really made me feel EVEN more strongly and I already felt so strongly before. My partner has said I have to pay for his visa, because he paid for mine (which is fair enough) but I am a cleaner 2x a week and he works full time, so it would take me 104632026years to save $3000. It honestly breaks my heart. All our money goes on saving for our next trip for UK (every two years) & we don’t go on any holidays/trips in between because we can’t afford it (unless it’s a wedding of friends)
Speaking of friends, I have no strong desire to see any friends here in NZ & only meet up because I feel I have to, most of the time. I feel if I don’t, people will stop bothering with me and they already don’t bother with me too much cos everyone’s busy.
It sounds so horrible but if I was to move tomorrow and not say bye/need to see them in NZ again, I don’t think I’d be bothered. I am on medication for depression and anxiety and go to bed early every night, once my kids are in bed, because i feel better sleeping to just end the day. I am only happy when spending time with my children, when I’m working or they’re not with me(at grandparents or daycare) I feel so so lost, lonely and just angry.
I could go on and on and on. I’d move back to the UK in a heartbreat with no hesitation at all. I hate everything about my life here and know I would be 100000% happier in the UK, meaning I would be a better, healthier, happier person and mother. I feel like I snap and shout too much because i am so down. I feel like I’m waiting for my life to be over. I’m going to miss the best days of my children’s lives feeling like this and soon they’ll be gone, kids will move out and I will be alone , partner and I will probably be separated the way things are going.
if you’ve read this far, well done & Thankyou!
I am from the Lake District and have lived in NZ for 5 years in feb. Met my kiwi partner in Lancaster in 2014, moved to NZ with him in 2015, Had twins in 2016 and now pregnant with our third (due June 2020).
We have been back home in 2017 & just recently in August and when I am there I feel so happy and complete, I dread coming back to NZ and when I’m back I just feel deflated. I am so lonely here, I don’t like anything about NZ - apart from the summer weather - which I can do without. I miss my mum, dad and grandma and everything about the UK.
For 5 years I’ve said how much I miss it and I’d move home in a heartbeat.
My partner LOVES the UK and wouldn’t mind living there either. After coming back from UK in September I said, I need to move back for my sanity and I’d rather do it before the boys get much older. He somewhat agreed but since then has gone on about how he is pretty well set up here, can take over his fathers business, has a house, has land to build another, how it would break his parents hearts etc etc.
Not forgetting my parents hearts are broken not having us close with their first grandchildren (partner has two siblings who both live in NZ - there’s chance for them to have more grandchildren here but not for my parents as my sister lives in aus, has no strong desire to have children and hates the UK) so I don’t think that’s a fair comment to make as they have had us so close (living next door) for 5 years.
That’s another thing that restricts us here in NZ too, we can’t even move from here, from right next door to his parents. The thought of living here for the rest of my life makes me sick and full of constant worry and anxiety.
I feel my partner does not understand/or want to try to understand how I feel at all. Having another child has really made me feel EVEN more strongly and I already felt so strongly before. My partner has said I have to pay for his visa, because he paid for mine (which is fair enough) but I am a cleaner 2x a week and he works full time, so it would take me 104632026years to save $3000. It honestly breaks my heart. All our money goes on saving for our next trip for UK (every two years) & we don’t go on any holidays/trips in between because we can’t afford it (unless it’s a wedding of friends)
Speaking of friends, I have no strong desire to see any friends here in NZ & only meet up because I feel I have to, most of the time. I feel if I don’t, people will stop bothering with me and they already don’t bother with me too much cos everyone’s busy.
It sounds so horrible but if I was to move tomorrow and not say bye/need to see them in NZ again, I don’t think I’d be bothered. I am on medication for depression and anxiety and go to bed early every night, once my kids are in bed, because i feel better sleeping to just end the day. I am only happy when spending time with my children, when I’m working or they’re not with me(at grandparents or daycare) I feel so so lost, lonely and just angry.
I could go on and on and on. I’d move back to the UK in a heartbreat with no hesitation at all. I hate everything about my life here and know I would be 100000% happier in the UK, meaning I would be a better, healthier, happier person and mother. I feel like I snap and shout too much because i am so down. I feel like I’m waiting for my life to be over. I’m going to miss the best days of my children’s lives feeling like this and soon they’ll be gone, kids will move out and I will be alone , partner and I will probably be separated the way things are going.
if you’ve read this far, well done & Thankyou!
