Ant vs the Grasshopper...NZ style
Jan 19th 2006, 12:57 am
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 977
Ant vs the Grasshopper...NZ style
We all need a laugh now and again...
Those in NZ already may be able to relate better than the ones waiting to come on over......
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.
vs.
THE NEW ZEALAND MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
less fortunate like him are cold and starving.
TVNZ shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table
filled with food. Kiwis are stunned that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have
plenty.
The Green Party, Maori Party, the trade unions, the Coalition Against
Poverty and the usual bunch of professional rioters demonstrate in
front of the ant's house.
TVNZ, interrupting an Iwi cultural festival special from a Northland
Marae with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall
Overcome."
Sue Bradford rants in an interview with Paul Holmes that the ant has
gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response to polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the
beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the
fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated
by the government.
The ant moves to Australia and starts a successful agribiz company.
TVNZ later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the
ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles
around him because he hadn't maintained it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Winston Peters is appointed
to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose. The Auckland Herald
blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes
of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a gang of migrant spiders, praised by the government for
enriching New Zealand's multicultural diversity, who promptly start
terrorizing the community.
Those in NZ already may be able to relate better than the ones waiting to come on over......
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.
vs.
THE NEW ZEALAND MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
less fortunate like him are cold and starving.
TVNZ shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table
filled with food. Kiwis are stunned that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have
plenty.
The Green Party, Maori Party, the trade unions, the Coalition Against
Poverty and the usual bunch of professional rioters demonstrate in
front of the ant's house.
TVNZ, interrupting an Iwi cultural festival special from a Northland
Marae with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall
Overcome."
Sue Bradford rants in an interview with Paul Holmes that the ant has
gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response to polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the
beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the
fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated
by the government.
The ant moves to Australia and starts a successful agribiz company.
TVNZ later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the
ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles
around him because he hadn't maintained it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Winston Peters is appointed
to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose. The Auckland Herald
blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes
of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a gang of migrant spiders, praised by the government for
enriching New Zealand's multicultural diversity, who promptly start
terrorizing the community.
Jan 19th 2006, 1:07 am
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Bay of Plenty, NZ
Posts: 191
Re: Ant vs the Grasshopper...NZ style
[QUOTE=newkiwi]We all need a laugh now and again...
Those in NZ already may be able to relate better than the ones waiting to come on over......
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The best read all day - so very very true.
Those in NZ already may be able to relate better than the ones waiting to come on over......
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The best read all day - so very very true.
