M_and_M

You're right, thanks

Ps good luck with the CV...

Assanah

What is a mistake anyway? It kind of depends on your definition. NZ didn't work out for me but I still wouldn't say it was a mistake. I clearly realized that I was lacking self-knowledge when I came here not really knowing what is important to me. Now I know.

MrsFychan

my mother has only Skyped once since we've been here the last year, and it was bloody hilarious. My brother had set it up but she couldn't hear through the computer so he put the head phones on but still be not hearing that well she kept asking him what we had said, he obviously couldn't hear as she was wearing headphones. Think she did actually enjoy it but that was on Christmas Eve and haven't Skyped her since.
We do have the art of letter writing back in the family now though which is lovely. She also won't do Facebook so misses the updates and photo's but I make photo books up for her on Vista Print or Photobox so she still see's regular pictures of what we are up to.
Our phone provider provides free calls to UK/USA every 6mths or so, you know the deal where you hang up after 59minutes and call back not to be charged.
My husbands parents are more computer literate and we Skype them roughly once a fortnight and they both have Facebook accounts

love30stm

Count my blessings then

Snap Shot

My sister muttered about Skype before we let Britain 2 years ago, but so far neither of us has set it up. Phone/e-mail/Facebook/greeting cards seem to suffice. My Dad is no more going to start using e-mail than fly in the air ! (Quite literally as his Dr. has advised him not to fly long haul as his health isn't up to it).

So I correspond with my Dad by letter. That seems to work. I'm all for something that works ! Oh I also phone him at Christmas and on his birthday. That's if he's in as I'll leave an a/p message for him which he doesn't always return.... Hey ho.

TommyLuck

This sounds like great advice, it makes total sense.

My cousin, who is also one of my best mates was only going travelling for 12 months in Australia, but I thought I'd pop along to say goodbye as Heathrow is just down the road. I'd already planned to go out that Christmas anyway, so the goodbye between us was a handshake and a hug and a "good luck mate, see you at Christmas".

My aunt, uncles and two cousins (his sisters) were there. They were all in pieces, my uncle is a soppy sod at the best of times anyway, but I've never seen so many people that wracked with emotion at the same time, save for funerals.

They didn't enjoy it, and nor did I. Talk about awkward.

And he was only going for 12 months, though I imagine they had a nagging doubt he might never come back.

So to that end, there is no way anyone is coming to the airport with us!! I've seen the madness at first hand.

Thankfully Mum has already told me she's not coming to the airport, "I'll probably pop out to Tesco, or something, before your taxi arrives", she told me.

She's a wise bird. I'll miss her.

barnsleymat

Cheers Pal

Another bit of advice to make all the goodbyes easier is to convince yourself that you'll visit home within a year, this makes saying goodbye to everyone much easier because you'll not be saying goodbye, you'll be saying see you soon. Something that makes the 100's of goodbyes easier is worth a go as that's the thing that really tipped me over the edge, so I 110% convinced myself I'd be visiting home to see everyone, there wasn't a doubt in my mind I'd be home seeing everyone again pretty soon. I've not being back and don't plan on going back even though I've been here nearly 2 years but it's a little trick I used to ease the pain.

Assanah

Why not look at reality clearly and honestly: reality is that people will die, you can never be sure that you will see a person again.
There will be a time when our mums and dads will not answer the phone anymore or call us to see how we are doing. In the end to move away so far is cruel to the ones that you leave behind. Maybe our children will do the same to us in the near future? How would we feel if we are getting older, knowing death is approaching and we can't see our kids and grandchildren. Is NZ really worth it? Too me absolutely not.

TommyLuck

Woah.

That's deep.

I'm certain that my family would feel cruel if I told them "I thought about going the New Zealand, but I'm not going just in case one (or more) of you dies while I'm there".

Tom1983

Another postiive about goodbyes being easier is if your family are 100% behind you in your move.

We thought all of our families were behind us, it's only since we've had Dylan have we found out peoples true opinions of our move. My family want me to stay out here, the wifes family - well less I say the better

Unfortunately the 14th October 2011 was the last time I saw my nan in Sheffield face to face and how ironic a year later she dies on that day. One regret I have is that Dylan will never see his great granny Sheffield whinger. But she was delighted when she heard I was moving somewhere new and i'm sure she's up there happy. We're lucky that his second great nan came over to see him, and there is a slight chance that his third great nan will be flying over in October.

When we said goodbyes to everyone, there wasn't a great deal of emotion shown as back then, everyone was behind us in our move. Being at Heathrow Airport on the 14th October 2011, ready for our Singapore flight, there was no tears, no regrets - just excitement of a new life beginning. Touching down at Christchurch was when reality struck and we were so far away from everyone. The wierd thing was the first thing I did on Monday Morning was find an internet cafe to see how Wednesday got on against the scumbags from Sheffield 2. None around but managed to get a sim card sorted for the phone and found out that way. Instead of getting ourselves round estate agents looking at places available, registering for metro cards etc - Sheffield Wednesday was the first thing to sort out. Even better was finding out two days later Westlife were splitting up!

16 months later, we've been homeless, we've had a few big shakes, we've had a few ups and downs, no regrets for us . Hoepfully it'll work out for you

Good luck

MrsFychan

you cannot live your life to please other people, of course you will miss them and they will miss you. We had it from the FIL, behind MIL's back saying how upset she was going to be not going to see the kids, and we where being selfish, blah blah blah.....
But we moved to provide a nicer way of life for the kids so we were doing what was in our opinion best for them in their future. sorry if it upset others but it's our decision as were the decision of our parents to provide a life they provided for us.
In fact on speaking to the MIL she was obviously upset that she wouldn't see the kids once a month or so but she said if she could of done it or had the nerve to do it she would of, in fact had a 10 pound ticket for Australia in her younger life and that is one of her regrets that she never used it.
We actually "see" them more now on Skype then we ever did being 60 odd miles away. We get gift parcels from them, which she loves filling up and we love opening to see what treats she had sent this time.

As the saying goes "you can't please all the people all the time, so just please yourself"

TommyLuck

It's the bloody Daily Mail, but this article resonated with me more than it would have done had I not had plans to move to NZ;

http://http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fe...#axzz2KdCqMGXf

99/100 we take the kid to the family, they seldom come to us, which I had never considered before reading this.

I doesn't make me feel bitter and I'd never use it against my family, but it gave me some comfort to realise that in fairness, are we all that thought about day to day living away from the rest of them? Is it because we'll be the other side of the world people and less accessible that it hit home to them.

Not good. Not bad. Just an interesting thought.

scrubbedexpat094

But that goes for being anywhere. You could be away on holiday & a parent may die, sure it's more likely if you live far away. You can't live your life on what ifs.

I don't know if I'll ever get to see my parents again and that's hard, it's not cruel though. It's just life & everyone needs to live their own life. My parents regretted not emigrating here in the 60's, they stayed because of their Mum's. So although they miss us terribly they have been fully supportive of our decision & continue to support us.

We don't have children so we'll always effectively be alone but I would hope that most parents would approach death knowing that they have done the best for their children & given them the courage to make their own way in the world.

TommyLuck

scrubbedexpat094

Thank you though I don't like the amen smilie, me being an anti-theist an all