M_and_M

I am committed to moving, I have the temporary visa done and ready to send, the permanent one is waiting on one document to come.

I intend to go in April and leave hubby in the uk to sell the house.

My parents are all doom and gloom and have successfully managed to place doubts in my otherwise concrete mind.

Is it a mistake?
I am selling my house and starting again with a mortgage, at this stage in life is that a bad idea?
It's on the other side of the world, no one will ever visit

There's many more!

For those who have done it already, what would you say?

northeastlad

It's not YOUR doubts in your head: its THEIR doubts! If you were so doubtful you wouldn't have all the paperwork ready! :P

In all seriousness though, it is a huge move and a major commitment and I think you're so brave for doing it. You're bound to worry! But in a couple of months time (maybe even a year or so), once all the dust and drama of the move has settled, you'll look back on the decision and think, "Actually, it was worth it!" The lifestyles are different but things are at an easier pace in NZ; even in the cities! Less stress = longer/better life!

I'm sure everybody goes through that! But I think you'll be fine and I'm wishing you all the best!

Sherlock Holmes

Tell those with doubts, very gently, where to shove it. It's your life.

carolandpete

Hi M and M. I can fully understand your doubts as it's a huge undertaking. We came to NZ as OH got a really well paid job and our son and his OH were in OZ. Son and OH are now here in NZ living with us and that's been great. We were originally intending to settle here for the rest of our lives but have changed our minds and are now saying that we are here for now and we will be looking to move back to Europe within the next 3 to 4 years. What is sometimes not pointed out is that if you have good family/friends realtionships already then you are going to miss them and it really is far away. I believe that if the urge to come is strong then you should give it a go but always with the idea that it can be temporary, for however long that may be. If you really like it here and feel that you can enjoy it long term that's great, but always give yourself a psychological 'get out clause' when you come. Give it a go as it really is a great experience but feel free to tell yourself that it's temporary and you'll make up your minds after the first visas are coming to an end. NZ is a wonderful country to see but we've realised it's not for us but would not have missed the experience for anything. Good luck with your decision. Stay sane.

Genesis

They are your doubts, your rellies simply don't want you to go and thus put up much negativity. Understandable to a degree but they should not send you on a guilt trip. It is your life and I think if they were 'bigger people' they would applaud your get up and go attitude..but that is bloody relatives eh????? People can plant doubts but you end up having to wear them. It is quite natural and whilst I had absolutely none 8 years ago when I did it, I have reservations now about life in NZ. You are right to think not many people will visit, they rarely do. I expected no one would come, but hoped a few did. Why should they at the end of the day unless they really WANT to. We are the ones doing the moving and being less accessible.

What do you have to lose? He who dares eh? You could spend your life thinking 'what if' should you decide to stay. Life is short, life is an adventure, grab what comes your way take a risk and if it does not pan out there is always a return flight and the only real loss is a bit of money...but what an experience!!. I would say do it.

luvwelly

Does your OH who is being left behind 'to sell the house' have any doubts?

If you do go (have you looked at Invers on google maps street view?), make sure you have your return fare at all times. By going first if you hate it (and you may Invers is very remote), you can take house off market and fly home...and hopefully find another teaching role in UK.

barnsleymat

It's all completely normal and there's one thing for sure, as the time to leave comes closer and closer it'll get much much worse. I was a mess in the fortnight before leaving, an absolute mess. But as soon as the wheels left the runway at Heathrow a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, which should have been a good thing but at that very same point my wife who had been a solid rock completely fell apart.

But don't worry, there's light at the end of the tunnel, it does get better. The doom and gloom merchants putting doubts in your mind are only jealous, it's just they've not had the balls to do something like you're doing.

love30stm

My family were the same, well my mum was anyway, none of them will probably visit and been here 5 and a half years.

Sometimes I thought it was a mistake as my daughter had a bad time settling, and it was a long time before I made some friends as I didn't work.

But I know we made the right decision for us anyway, love my life here especially the summertime have a great group of friends, nice house in a nice area, beach 10 minutes away, more of a social life.

We decided we were never going back to the UK and I remember some of the reasons we decided to leave on my recent trip back to see my mother who passed away but luckily I was there to say goodbye, and she actually said we did the right thing. My brother still posts sarcastic comments on my Facebook about New Zealand by the way, he just can't be happy for me and I'm glad I'm away from family to be honest

love30stm

Your completely right! My brother seems to have the biggest problem, telling me he would never live in New Zealand (he's never been btw) and recent posting on my Facebook was to say I live in a gangsters paradise and has worse gang crime than the USA! And I should look at where Im living!! Needles to say I never replied

madao

DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!

Pom_Chch

Go for it M and M! It's scary but you'll be fine. I know there's lots to think about but remember what awaits you on the other side...

love30stm

Agree gorgeous never get tired of the scenery

scrubbedexpat094

Go for it. The doubts are normal & the naysayers don't help when you're in this frame of mind. Accept that it's a big step to take, keep a sense of adventure about it & remember that it doesn't have to be forever.

People may or may not come & visit, that's upto them & you have no control over that. My Mum is too ill to travel & I knew that when we first came here, so I've always accepted that she & therefore my Dad will never see where we live. It's sad & sometimes I feel guilty about living here & not being there for them. Thankfully they were always supportive of our decision. It's your life & you have to live it for you, not for anyone else.

If you don't do it you'll always wonder "What if?"

You'll have good days & bad days when you get here. There will be days when you will think "What the hell have we done?" and you will more than likely get through those days or you will make the decision that NZ is not for you & head back to the UK.

It will be difficult coming out without your OH, be prepared that it will take time to make friends & that you will need to give a lot of time & effort to making them but you will make friends eventually. Life will gradually fall into place just don't expect it to happen all at once.

Most of us have had rocky patches along the way when homesickness comes to call but we've got through it.

Don't expect too much from New Zealand in terms of it changing your life, be realistic, be gentle on yourself & maintain a sense of humour.

Good luck

AndyEvs

Can't tell you if it is a mistake or not. Spend a little time on this forum and you will find people who love it here and have never regretted the move, people who hate it here and are desperate to get out. People who loathe their relatives and think NZ is still not far enough away and people who miss their families and friends so much it's like a physical pain. There are people here who thought they would handle it but find they couldn't and those that are surprised at how they have fitted in. There are people here who have hated their new jobs, found it impossible to get a job and those that have never been happier at work. Some people on here seem to be deluged with visitors from the UK, others never get any visitors.
There are too many variables to ever know if this will work for you but I understand why at this point you need that support from those that have done it. For us we now see NZ as just part of our plans, probably not permanent, but never say never. If we had realised how much we would miss our family and friends then the truth is we probably would not have come. But hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?
Having been on boards like this for nearly 10 years, plus of course, having met many poms that have come here I would have to say that my guess is that more people go back than stay, but that is only based on my experiences of people we have known and the comments on here.
I genuinely hope it works out for you and I have no doubt people, especially those considering the move will be very interested to know how you get on.

Pom_Chch

Great pic - very Lord of the Ringsy!