48 Hours To Go

Old Nov 1st 2005, 12:41 pm
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Default 48 Hours To Go

Only 48 hours now until my son leaves home to travel and then start uni in Wellington. He is going travelling with 2 friends and then he will stay on in NZ. Parents have been barred from the airport for fear of embarrising them, probably just as well as I feel like I really wont be able to hold it together. I am not ready to loose my son 12,000 miles away and not ready for the break up of my family unit as I know it. Looks like we have bought a house here as it was a better option for the other two kids at this stage but now I just want to back out of the deal and head back to NZ too.
Has anybody else been through this, leaving a teenager behind or as in our case sending a teenager in advance.
Any advice appreciated as I think my OH is ready to divorce me.
KAZ :scared:
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Old Nov 1st 2005, 7:50 pm
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Smile Re: 48 Hours To Go

Hi Kaz,

I'm sure he'll be fine, it's hard not to worry though. We are expecting to move to NZ end of Jan. But our 18yr old son will not follow until June. He has never flown and thinks of it as an adventure to travel alone. My main worry is after flying from Newcastle to Heathrow, him trying to find the right terminal for NZ flight.
Trouble is, he's so laid back I don't think he really listens to our advice. At the end of the day it will be an experience and learning curve.

Boopy
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Old Nov 1st 2005, 8:01 pm
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

Originally Posted by kaz Hen
Parents have been barred from the airport for fear of embarrising them, probably just as well as I feel like I really wont be able to hold it together.
This is not going to help in the strictest sense but you can tell him from me, he'll regret that you aren't there.

At 18, you have to act all tough and not cry in front of your mates but what he probably doesn't realise is how important family is, especially when faced with the prospect of not seeing them for a prolonged period of time. It will gradually sink in as he sits in the lounge, waiting for his plane. It's a huge step and having had to say goodbye to parents three times now ourselves (once when we left to come here and then twice when we've been back for holidays), my partner and I blub like children every time. I'm 30, she's 29 and I just don't care who sees, it's an emotional time and IMHO, you should have insisted on being there if just to say goodbye yourself.

And so what if you don't keep it together? Who cares? It's a massive step, it's not like he's going to be just around the corner anymore.
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Old Nov 1st 2005, 8:18 pm
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

Originally Posted by NZ Climber
This is not going to help in the strictest sense but you can tell him from me, he'll regret that you aren't there.

At 18, you have to act all tough and not cry in front of your mates but what he probably doesn't realise is how important family is, especially when faced with the prospect of not seeing them for a prolonged period of time. It will gradually sink in as he sits in the lounge, waiting for his plane. It's a huge step and having had to say goodbye to parents three times now ourselves (once when we left to come here and then twice when we've been back for holidays), my partner and I blub like children every time. I'm 30, she's 29 and I just don't care who sees, it's an emotional time and IMHO, you should have insisted on being there if just to say goodbye yourself.

And so what if you don't keep it together? Who cares? It's a massive step, it's not like he's going to be just around the corner anymore.
Spot on as usual and I totally agree with you...

Kaz, wild horses wouldn't be able to keep me away from that airport and I'd be howling at olympic standards too and not ashamed to say so...and of course parents are embarrassing - it's in our job description...

I can picture it now - son sets off for airport after leaving a very tearful Mum on the doorstep - gets into car with mates and heads off all macho and grown up-like...gets to airport, checks in luggage...just about go through into the boarding lounge (or whatever it's called) when he glances back for one last look around and there, flying through the door for one last good bye comes Mum...tears all round maybe but he'll remember that moment for a lifetime...

Family units change all the time too Kaz, it's not a break up - it's just different...my eldest went off to Uni 2 years ago now and I absolutely broke my heart sending her off and thought family life would never be the same - and it isn't - it's different...but you cope and you get used to them not being around so much. I know it's different for you in that your son isn't just going to Uni in the UK but with all of today's modern technology you'll be able to keep in touch.

I'll be thinking of you...and wish your son good luck...

Edited to add:- If it's any consolation Kaz, my daughter is at Uni only 50 miles away but it could be the other side of the world as she only comes home once or twice a year at the most!!

One of the hardest things to do as a parent is 'letting them go'...

Last edited by Pinkie Pie; Nov 1st 2005 at 8:35 pm.
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Old Nov 1st 2005, 8:42 pm
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

Originally Posted by kaz Hen
Only 48 hours now until my son leaves home to travel and then start uni in Wellington. He is going travelling with 2 friends and then he will stay on in NZ. Parents have been barred from the airport for fear of embarrising them, probably just as well as I feel like I really wont be able to hold it together. I am not ready to loose my son 12,000 miles away and not ready for the break up of my family unit as I know it. Looks like we have bought a house here as it was a better option for the other two kids at this stage but now I just want to back out of the deal and head back to NZ too.
Has anybody else been through this, leaving a teenager behind or as in our case sending a teenager in advance.
Any advice appreciated as I think my OH is ready to divorce me.
KAZ :scared:
Sob, sob, very hard time for you.. couldn't imagen my boys going off, but time flies doesn't it Kaz? I bet you can't believe your baby is off 12 thousand miles without you?

Anyway, I am sure he is well prepared and ready, you being a teacher and all.. bet he's right up there with the best. I hope he does really well and makes you really proud!

Big hugs to Kaz cos this must be hard as! xxx
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Old Nov 1st 2005, 11:00 pm
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

Oh Kaz I really do feel for you. Ive been there & done that several times now & it never gets any easier. For your sake I say over ride your sons wishes & think of yourself. Go to the airport & cry all you like. You just have to be there to say goodbye & see him on his way. He might be a little embarrassed in front of his friends for a while but if the truths known he will also be terribly touched to know how much you care & will miss him Not only do my sons have to put up with the tears when they leave (or in my case when I leave) & then they face tears when they arrive to visit too so they prepare themselves for it in advance. As much as they hate my tears they say it shows them how important they are in my life & have admitted that if I didnt cry they would wonder why so I just let the tears flow.

Best wishes for surviving this first departure, its going to be tough but you can do it. My thoughts are with you.
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Old Nov 2nd 2005, 7:11 am
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

I know how you feel ...i think...the last time i cried was my Boys first day at school!.....when i picked him up i waited in my car for 15 mins as i did not want to be ther first parent at the gates!
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Old Nov 2nd 2005, 10:22 am
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

[QUOTE=Boopy]Trouble is, he's so laid back I don't think he really listens to our advice.

Boopy, He sounds exactly like my son, obviously a general trait of 18 year old boys.
Thanks everyone for your lovely comments, am trying to feel postive and as long as nobody asks me about him I'm not even crying.
Cheers
KAZ
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Old Nov 2nd 2005, 11:14 am
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

Hi Kaz,

You can only hope that for 18 years he has listened to you. They make you think that they are entirely hopeless. but it's amazing how they can change when you're not around. Try not to let him know how you are feeling, you want it to be a positive experience for him. I'm sure he's thinking that he is a very lucky lad, to be given this opportunity. I know it still won't make you feel any different. Be positive for him (if you can).

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Old Nov 3rd 2005, 7:54 am
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

[QUOTE=Boopy]Hi Kaz,

Try not to let him know how you are feeling, you want it to be a positive experience for him. I'm sure he's thinking that he is a very lucky lad, to be given this opportunity. I know it still won't make you feel any different. Be positive for him (if you can).

Hi Boopy,
Thanks for the message I know you are right and I want him to leave with a good feeling so am trying really hard. Didn't sleep at all well, weird how your mind does not shut down, I was crying even in my dream.
Wish me luck guys, have to get him up now, he leaves in 5 hours.
Cheers
KAZ
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Old Nov 3rd 2005, 8:41 am
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

Hi Kaz,

I hope things weren't too bad for you. I've been thinking about you. Take care.

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Old Nov 3rd 2005, 9:11 am
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Default Re: 48 Hours To Go

We are of to ChCh in January and leaving behind my 17yr old to finish his first year of college. He is loving it there and is doing well so we decided that he could stay with my parents until July and then follow on then.... my parents are delighted that they still have a little piece of the family with them and wont forget about them after we have gone. I dread to think what I will be like saying goodbye but I know in a few months time he will come over and be reunited again. I just hope that he doesn't enjoy being pampered too much that he doesn't want to leave!!!!

Sue
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