tonydu

Hi all,
I just want to ask has anyone had to leave there children behind so you can start a new life? If so how did you cope? We were really looking forward to going caus we were going as a family we should have moved 2 years ago to OZ but government messed that up for us and now our 18 year old does not want to move out of Coventry and its hurting. We have said to him we will always have a ticket to come over so he can look first. Telling him we love and will miss him.
I know its our dream and not his, he may follow later, may not. His sister will also miss him however can someone gives us some advice to try and make it hurt less.
thanks Michelle

cally49

Oh i really do feel for you guys but i guess if hes happy where he is then at least you will leave knowing that and that it was his choice to stay.

But whats the bet that maybe after a few weeks he will be asking for that ticket to come and visit.
If it were me and i had the money I would be making an offer to him now to come out for a holiday once you have got settled in (less threatening to him that way) and if its a return ticket he will know that hes going back to the UK at a certain date.

So if you guys come over get set up then locate things that you think will interest him when he comes to see you and show him what a great time he could be having if he was here to live (without even mentioning living here though as he needs to make that choice for himself) That way you guys will also have a date set of seeing him again so that when you say your goodbyes you can say see you on such a date........

All the best
Cally

Kimi-Deacon

We left behind Daughter 23, Son 22 and Grandson 2yrs old, initially our son was going to come with us as he has PR Visa, on coming out with us to activate his visa, he decided it wasn't for him. He is in to the Music scene and still does the round of Pubs and clubs in the UK so he found New Zealand a bit too backwards for his taste.

Initially the hardest part for me was leaving the Grandson as i was there at his birth and he lived with us for the first year of his life, you will miss your son but skype is a must have out here, and you will find being able to see them and talk to them via skype really helps. Whenever we talk to our family, you can see the grandson thinking why is nanny in the computer lol.

What helps for me is the fact that my Daughter and Grandson live with my Mum and Dad so i know they are being well looked after, in fact they are spoilt rotten. Dont know what to say other than at the end of the day, he knows you love him and like you said he can always visit, who knows he might change his mind once he visits and decide to make the move.

tonydu

Thank you very much for the help very grateful
Michelle

Spacecake799

Hi,

No help at all but where abouts in Coventry are you? We left there 2 years ago.

Carole

Wooly_Cow

We’re in the exact situation with our 17 year old daughter. She (and the family) are staying in England till July, whilst Dad (me) has already started in Wellington in order that she can do her ‘A’ levels….but after that, when the family are due to join me here, she wants to stay in the UK to go to university. It’s going to be really hard but I guess that even if we’d stayed in the UK she would have left to go to uni (probably if we’d chosen not to come to NZ because of her, she’d have gone to uni in Australia or New Zealand).

We figure that she is old enough to make her own decisions. There will always be a plane ticket available for her to come and visit (we have budgeted for one a year whilst she’s studying), and of course there is always an open ended one way ticket if she ever wants to come and stay. We’ve included her in our PR which has been granted.

We’ve talked about it a lot and although we will miss each other a heck of a lot, but I guess, 18 is at an age where ‘birds fly nests’.

Secretly I hope that she will either see how nice New Zealand is when she comes to visit or realise she misses us (and especially her youngest brother to whom she is a second mother) enough to want to come to one of the excellent universities in New Zealand but in the end, though it will break my heart to be away from her, it is her choice.

In the end, cliché though it may be if you love someone enough you have to be prepared (if not 100% happy) to let them go!

Best of luck to you and your son…I’m sure things will work out


Oh by the way my daughter wants to study Psychology…we reckon it’s because she wants to figure out why her parents want to abandon her and emigrate

Kiwiprincess

Just a suggestion, have you considered suggesting the trip as a gap year for him? Perhaps he will be more open to the idea of going if he knows he is going back to the UK after a year?

Then, if he did decide later on to go back to NZ he could even get a working holiday visa to visit and work.