Why feel bad ??

Old Feb 21st 2007, 3:47 pm
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Default Why feel bad ??

I have read a lot of the posts in here with all the range of emotions that the posters have expressed about how they feel about living in another country and why they have decided to return.
The one thing that has struck me about it is that those who are in that position have no reason to apologise or explain why they feel they have to return. All of those who went abroad and tryed to make a go of it, but decided it was'nt for them are IMHO brave because they made the effort. Making a decision such as returning to the UK is a positive step if you feel that it is the best option for you. Like it or not the experience of being in another country will I suspect have changed most people for the better. Life is too short to be miserable for its duration
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Old Feb 21st 2007, 4:53 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

alot of people emigrate and it doesn't work out, they return to the uk, only to return to the country they emigrated too more than happy!!! I think it is something to do with accepting the country they are in for what it is etc. Once you accept your new 'home' it is easier to move on and enjoy the benefits. comparing it to the uk is a waste of time and you will never succeed in your new country.
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Old Feb 21st 2007, 8:02 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

suppose some people feel like they are returning with their tails between their legs and worried about getting stick from colleagues etc but at the end of the day better to have tried and failed then never to have tried at all and spend the rest of yr life wondering
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Old Feb 21st 2007, 8:11 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by paleface View Post
suppose some people feel like they are returning with their tails between their legs and worried about getting stick from colleagues etc but at the end of the day better to have tried and failed then never to have tried at all and spend the rest of yr life wondering
What has failing got to do with it?

Do you consider yourself a failure everytime you try something and decide you don't like it?
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Old Feb 21st 2007, 9:29 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by Shadowfox View Post
I have read a lot of the posts in here with all the range of emotions that the posters have expressed about how they feel about living in another country and why they have decided to return.
The one thing that has struck me about it is that those who are in that position have no reason to apologise or explain why they feel they have to return. All of those who went abroad and tryed to make a go of it, but decided it was'nt for them are IMHO brave because they made the effort. Making a decision such as returning to the UK is a positive step if you feel that it is the best option for you. Like it or not the experience of being in another country will I suspect have changed most people for the better. Life is too short to be miserable for its duration
Thankyou.
I for one know that when I get back so many people who know me mums at the school etc will be saying ''OH WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE "and at about all that lovely sun etc etc.
I am dreading it,especially the ones who think they know everything and have not even stepped out of the country let alone lived any where else.
I shall say to them fab experience no regrets but home is home.
Still it won't be easy.
My true friends and people who really know me will probably say good on you ,at least you had the guts to try it.
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Old Feb 21st 2007, 10:32 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

I just feel really disappointed that this hasn't worked for me I get really peeved when I talk to peeps who love it. I just think "why don't I?". So, I suppose I will be going home with regrets that this hasn't worked when I really wanted it to.

Once home, when folk say "what the hell did you come back here for" I shall just laugh and say "You go and live in Oz then.....if you've got the balls to do it" because most folk haven't have they. They talk about it down the pub, but they never do a damn thing about it.
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Old Feb 21st 2007, 10:46 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

I think as Paul said, nobody has failed for trying or not trying a new life or moving back to the old one.

I do reckon though it is good to sort things out in your own head before you move abroad and seriously question your motives for moving.

If you think your life will be better, then ask yourself why and what you can get abroad that you cant in the UK.

If you are moving to get away from crime/bad weather/teenage trouble makers, then each and every thing you are moving to get away from, will take on a different form in your new country.

Cold/damp weather could be replaced by stifling hot weather, teens will be teens in whatever country you are in plus the hormones that go with them that can make them a right pain in the arse.

Crime is crime and if there is good and bad in all you meet, then you will meet the bad in whatever country you live in. Admittedly it could be on a smaller scale, but shit happens anywhere.

If you are going because you hate the UK, then IMO, it is good to try and make peace with it before you go because you never know what the future might hold.

Ive learned in my long (bloody long) wait for my visa, that I love my family so much, I know what its like to lose someone close and I am already getting the 'Jesus Christ' type feelings of panic of leaving my Dad. I am glad I have had this time to deal with these emotions now, rather than have them hit me in Oz.

I have learned to love where I live and wherever I move to in Australia, the negatives from the UK will take a different form in Oz.

I am not looking for a perfect life, just trying out a different one and if it doesn't work or it isn't for us, then we will come back.

Home will be where we feel comfortable and where we will accept the rough with the smooth and see more good points than bad - whichever country that happens to be.

But I do not think anyone should feel bad for coming back because we all have choices in our lives, and those that choose to come back to the UK are merely making a decision that is right for them. Those choices are personal to us and nobody should slate someone for living a life that suits them - in Australia or the UK.

I do know one thing, when I am on that plane as it takes off from Heathrow, I will be secure and comfortable in the knowledge that I am testing the waters somewhere else, and I can come back any time knowning that I really do appreciate everything Great Britain has to offer and am not leaving on a bad note.

Good luck to everyone who is coming back to England
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Old Feb 22nd 2007, 9:48 am
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by Paul View Post
What has failing got to do with it?

Do you consider yourself a failure everytime you try something and decide you don't like it?
calm down - its just a cliche. i think anyone who tries another country and returns because it hasnt worked for them is a lot braver then those who just dream about it
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Old Feb 22nd 2007, 9:56 am
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by Professional Princess View Post
I think as Paul said, nobody has failed for trying or not trying a new life or moving back to the old one.

I do reckon though it is good to sort things out in your own head before you move abroad and seriously question your motives for moving.

If you think your life will be better, then ask yourself why and what you can get abroad that you cant in the UK.

If you are moving to get away from crime/bad weather/teenage trouble makers, then each and every thing you are moving to get away from, will take on a different form in your new country.

Cold/damp weather could be replaced by stifling hot weather, teens will be teens in whatever country you are in plus the hormones that go with them that can make them a right pain in the arse.

Crime is crime and if there is good and bad in all you meet, then you will meet the bad in whatever country you live in. Admittedly it could be on a smaller scale, but shit happens anywhere.

If you are going because you hate the UK, then IMO, it is good to try and make peace with it before you go because you never know what the future might hold.

Ive learned in my long (bloody long) wait for my visa, that I love my family so much, I know what its like to lose someone close and I am already getting the 'Jesus Christ' type feelings of panic of leaving my Dad. I am glad I have had this time to deal with these emotions now, rather than have them hit me in Oz.

I have learned to love where I live and wherever I move to in Australia, the negatives from the UK will take a different form in Oz.

I am not looking for a perfect life, just trying out a different one and if it doesn't work or it isn't for us, then we will come back.

Home will be where we feel comfortable and where we will accept the rough with the smooth and see more good points than bad - whichever country that happens to be.

But I do not think anyone should feel bad for coming back because we all have choices in our lives, and those that choose to come back to the UK are merely making a decision that is right for them. Those choices are personal to us and nobody should slate someone for living a life that suits them - in Australia or the UK.

I do know one thing, when I am on that plane as it takes off from Heathrow, I will be secure and comfortable in the knowledge that I am testing the waters somewhere else, and I can come back any time knowning that I really do appreciate everything Great Britain has to offer and am not leaving on a bad note.

Good luck to everyone who is coming back to England
And good luck to you on your adventure and hope you enjoy it and it is an easy ride.
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Old Feb 22nd 2007, 3:06 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by paleface View Post
calm down - its just a cliche. i think anyone who tries another country and returns because it hasnt worked for them is a lot braver then those who just dream about it

not to do with you...but the cliche we hear ...failure....is thrown around alot, especially by folk who have not lived the expat life.

so while I agree with you..............your statement .....the calm down bit may not work !!!

.....living the life, and being told to get over, get on with it, you have the visa!!!!, swop me etc, ......it dosen't work I do not calm down...I have an opinion....and like anyone wanting to get to Aus I can voice mine.

IT IS NOT ALL IT IS CRACKED UP TO BE - VISA HOLDER BEWARE

lots of love
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Old Feb 23rd 2007, 12:17 am
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by Sandra View Post
not to do with you...but the cliche we hear ...failure....is thrown around alot, especially by folk who have not lived the expat life.

so while I agree with you..............your statement .....the calm down bit may not work !!!

.....living the life, and being told to get over, get on with it, you have the visa!!!!, swop me etc, ......it dosen't work I do not calm down...I have an opinion....and like anyone wanting to get to Aus I can voice mine.

IT IS NOT ALL IT IS CRACKED UP TO BE - VISA HOLDER BEWARE

lots of love
It has nothing to do with failure, for some people it just isnt the right 'fit.' Homesickness can be debilitating also. Just consider how lucky we are all are that we get to experience life in another country, particulary countries as amazing as the UK and Australia.

For me, Aus is all that it is cracked up to be, and more. I also have family there, thank the lucky stars!
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Old Feb 23rd 2007, 12:38 am
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by denver View Post
It has nothing to do with failure, for some people it just isnt the right 'fit.' Homesickness can be debilitating also. Just consider how lucky we are all are that we get to experience life in another country, particulary countries as amazing as the UK and Australia.

For me, Aus is all that it is cracked up to be, and more. I also have family there, thank the lucky stars!
Good luck with your move back Denver, I'm sure you will be much happier back home.
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Old Feb 24th 2007, 9:02 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

My advice to anyone emigrating would be to never say it's forever. It makes it so much more difficult to return as many people are so excited about the move, they can forget just how much they go on about hating the UK and how much better their life will be in Oz. Better to say you are going to see how you like it and if you don't like it you'll come home.

We told everyone we were intending to emigrate for ever but would try it for a year and see how we fitted in. I personally don't give a hoot about what anyone thinks - I'm back in the UK and loving it and when people ask I'm honest and tell them about the lovely places we've visited, lovely people we've met but that as a whole Australia didn't suit our lifestyle as a family.

In my opinion it takes guts for anyone to emigrate. It takes even more guts to emigrate and then return home again. But what we've lost in finances, we've gained in experiences.
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Old Feb 24th 2007, 10:34 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Originally Posted by Dreamaway 10 View Post
Thankyou.
''OH WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE "and at about all that lovely sun etc etc.
I am dreading it,especially the ones who think they know everything and have not even stepped out of the country let alone lived any where else.
We still get that now when we talk to people about OZ. It got on my nerves at first but now it doesn't bother me. Good luck
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Old Feb 27th 2007, 9:30 pm
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Default Re: Why feel bad ??

Thanks Louise and Janey .At first like anything it will be hard and we will be talked about in our village but it will die down and things will get better.
That's the problem with some people in the UK they do judge you a lot where as that just does not happen here in OZ.Maybe it does but it does not show.
Bit confused today as I had a lovely day yesterday and feeling Oh my god what am I doing !!!
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