Why do they bother?

Old Jan 11th 2007, 7:31 am
  #196  
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Reading these last few posts by the people whose get up and go has got up and gone, I am really intrigued.

What happens to us after a certain length of time here? What is it that we are reacting to in this way? Why do we feel dispirited, demotivated, don't want to go out (apart from the sun/heat thing), don't want to even get dressed?

I know there may be several reasons and I know those reasons might well be different for different people, but can it be boiled down to just one or two things that someone could succinctly describe for me? FPM you've come pretty close to doing this, I think.

The reason I ask is that I go through bouts of this as well. I thought it was just me getting older and losing that drive that you have in your 20's 30's and that second wind you get in your 40s. I'm in my mid-fifties, can be tough for ladies, so I thought it was probably that, plus I've been there-done that mostly etc etc. I've also had a stressy year and I also work long hours. So I thought it was exhaustion and mild depression from the stressy stuff. I also live alone (bliss...) so no-one to share the daily grind with - if i don't do it, it doesn't get done, but it's a lot of responsibility on one set of shoulders - maybe that is getting me down, I told myself.

But it's that feeling that has been creeping up on me, like FPM says, happy at first then slowly, almost imperceptibly like water on a stone, worn down until it suddenly becomes very noticeable.

Has anyone got any suggestions as to what's going on here, what is the "IT" that is wearing us down? We function in the areas we can do automatically and have to do - work, cook etc, but the rest we struggle with.This not getting dressed/not wanting to go out/not wanting to bother with anything has a diagnosis - it's called depression.

Sorry I've gone on a bit. Can anyone put their finger on what's done it for them?

Thanks
TC

Last edited by TopCat3; Jan 11th 2007 at 7:33 am.
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 7:34 am
  #197  
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by arkon View Post
Might be why they are one of the worlds fattest nations. I find for about half the year when it's hot or basically above 24 that it just saps my energy to go outside so I don't, I can't even get up the go to walk the dogs. I used to walk them 3 times a day and huge half day walks at the weekends, bike rides etc too. Bu here I've turned into a baked couch potato.
l looked at the obesity stats, The USA are the fattest then the Uk and OZ third. People in the uk are alot fatter then in the rest of Europe. Aussies aren't as fat as Poms but close.

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Old Jan 11th 2007, 7:49 am
  #198  
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by mr mover View Post
Judging by this thread, the Removal industry will be busy next year a mass exodus by the look of it.............. mm
Well you know what they say? Misery loves company.
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 7:54 am
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by Princess Leia View Post
Well you know what they say? Misery loves company.
Someone I knew from Auckland went back to the Uk last year. She had the packers round and made conversation. She felt a bit of a fool only giving it 12 months in NZ, so started to chat to the packers to put her mind at rest.
"oh, no worries love" said the packer " We are glad of it really, you Poms keep us in business"
Maybe we should start our own overseas removal company?
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 7:56 am
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by Lord Pom Percy View Post
l looked at the obesity stats, The USA are the fattest then the Uk and OZ third. People in the uk are alot fatter then in the rest of Europe. Aussies aren't as fat as Poms but close.
Which if true is really quite amazing for a supposed sports mad, outdoor lifestyle, healthy and better fruit and veg type people.
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 9:47 am
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by Rascal View Post
Someone I knew from Auckland went back to the Uk last year. She had the packers round and made conversation. She felt a bit of a fool only giving it 12 months in NZ, so started to chat to the packers to put her mind at rest.
"oh, no worries love" said the packer " We are glad of it really, you Poms keep us in business"
Maybe we should start our own overseas removal company?
Never a " truer word ,spoken in gest"........... mm
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 1:11 pm
  #202  
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by TopCat3 View Post

Sorry I've gone on a bit. Can anyone put their finger on what's done it for them?

Thanks
TC
Yep, I can, but I really don't think I should put it into words on the forum.

lets just say, be careful what you wish for, because it might come true,
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 1:30 pm
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by Professional Princess View Post
I dont think you are wrong, you make the right decision for you and your family.

At the same time I don't think that everyone who is enjoying living in Australia is wearing rose tints because that would be patronising to say that.

Everyone is entitled to like where they live - or not.

And just because you dont like it, it doesnt mean you have a bad attitude any more than the ones who love it are on the honeymoon period.

As its been mentioned, nobody understands your situation until they have been in it.

Your life and your choice of where and how you choose to live it.

well said sam.
after several years on here i still cant work out why peoples choices have to be labelled right or wrong ... you do whats right at the time, and if it doesnt work out then move on (or should that be, move home?)
good luck to all of you who are thinking of heading back to the uk, or are already in the process of moving back ... life is too short to be unhappy

ps, who are the godsquad?

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Old Jan 11th 2007, 6:04 pm
  #204  
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by mr mover View Post
Never a " truer word ,spoken in gest"........... mm
Lol, I bet you are making a killing?
Anyway, seeing as I am winning the lotto this weekend, I will be giving all my stuff away, it got jetlag coming out here and still suffering.
So, will travel light from now on, me, my suitcases, my kids, hubby and an ipod.
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 7:44 pm
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by mr mover View Post
Never a " truer word ,spoken in gest"........... mm
And if you really want to double your money, set up in NZ!
That way, you'll have all the migrants from Uk coming to NZ, when it goes tits up of they find it not brilliant out here, they then move to OZ!
Hey can I buy into your company???
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 8:28 pm
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by NKSK version 2 View Post
I think that there's a collective chip on the shoulder of Australia.

I don't really understand it bearing in mind what the country has to offer.

You see it all the time. I can't imagine being in the UK and going on an Aussie Ex-pats site all of the time to defend the UK - I'm happy that the UK is a great country as well as it having downsides. Perhaps it's because the UK is such a major economic and cultural power that makes Brits feel less need to defend it against allcomers.

The Ashes is the latest expression of the chip - the Aussies are desperate to beat the Poms. You here it on talkback radio - just desperate to win - maybe at all costs.

The English can have a superior attitude - and in certain circumstances - such as quality of the media, London, history (empire etc) maybe this is deserved (it's certainly why I never feel offended by being called a Pom or having my country of birth slated. Given the UK's history and all that it has going for it, somebody really verbally attacking the UK is just laughable). But goodness me there is a real issue here with some Aussies.

Have to say that my work colleagues (Aussies) are excellent - no chips at all that I've seen. But they are well-educated and often well-travelled.
Interesting post... something to think about anyway. I don't think Australia has a chip on it's shoulders.... but apparently if you are patriotic and proud of your nationality then this is a negative thing. It is actually the POMS who have a bit of a chip on their shoulder, I have never seen such desperation in regards to winning the Football World Cup. When the English won the Ashes in 2005 the cricketers all got MBE's!! I was secretly barracking for the English... a bit of competion is a good thing! A lot of Aussies are well travelled and well educated... a bit of "pommie superioty" in your attitudes maybe?
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 8:34 pm
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by arkon View Post
It is amazing though isn't it, how so many of us must be wrong, and have the wrong attitude and hence the reason we aren't settled.

I must admit I didn't realise there were so many that felt the same way about the place as I do, on the one hand I glad not to be alone but sad on the other hand that so many of us spent so much time, money and effort to get here to be greeted by something that in reality is just so far from the dream that seems to be perpetuated.
When you think about it Arkon, considering the number of english people living in Australia, there would be less than one per cent of one per cent posting in this forum. Then there are the expats who moved back home to England (like my mum's best friend) due to homesickness, missing friends and family, not cause they thought Oz was a hell hole.
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 8:35 pm
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by TopCat3 View Post
Reading these last few posts by the people whose get up and go has got up and gone, I am really intrigued.

What happens to us after a certain length of time here? What is it that we are reacting to in this way? Why do we feel dispirited, demotivated, don't want to go out (apart from the sun/heat thing), don't want to even get dressed?

I know there may be several reasons and I know those reasons might well be different for different people, but can it be boiled down to just one or two things that someone could succinctly describe for me? FPM you've come pretty close to doing this, I think.

The reason I ask is that I go through bouts of this as well. I thought it was just me getting older and losing that drive that you have in your 20's 30's and that second wind you get in your 40s. I'm in my mid-fifties, can be tough for ladies, so I thought it was probably that, plus I've been there-done that mostly etc etc. I've also had a stressy year and I also work long hours. So I thought it was exhaustion and mild depression from the stressy stuff. I also live alone (bliss...) so no-one to share the daily grind with - if i don't do it, it doesn't get done, but it's a lot of responsibility on one set of shoulders - maybe that is getting me down, I told myself.

But it's that feeling that has been creeping up on me, like FPM says, happy at first then slowly, almost imperceptibly like water on a stone, worn down until it suddenly becomes very noticeable.

Has anyone got any suggestions as to what's going on here, what is the "IT" that is wearing us down? We function in the areas we can do automatically and have to do - work, cook etc, but the rest we struggle with.This not getting dressed/not wanting to go out/not wanting to bother with anything has a diagnosis - it's called depression.

Sorry I've gone on a bit. Can anyone put their finger on what's done it for them?

Thanks
TC

This is a really good post topcat.Age does have alot to do with it. My children are nearly all grown up one getting married this year, the other with a girl and thinking of moving to N.S.W the other is 18 and really doesnt like it here either. I think I came at the wrong time of my life for me. I liked myvillage life I didnt want to change it and of course it was going to change anyway children grow up and leave.

I am angry with my husband for this, I wanted to rent the house not sell it, and yes because I knew I didn't want to leave. I likes village life, community, 5 choices of cities,family and some very old and dear friends spanning 40 years, new friends 5plus years. .

I don't belong here, I am lonely, cant stand the heat, the things that I love to do are not here.I don't give a hoot who can speak English and who can't for goodness sake,people move between countries all over the world and it isn't easy to learn another language ,it takes time and we should be patient and kinder.

I am sick of being the enemy here in Qld .I cant stand the place .I am not speaking of Australia just Qld.They want migrants because they haven't bothered to train the younger ones.they want their labour but they must speak English and god forbid if they are a pom who does!

I cant be the only one a couple of 22 year olds that were sponsored out here for a couple of companies dint even do their 2 years and went back (UK).

Today I will shower get dressed and even might go out in to the world I don't want to but I will, but then my husband comes home today thankgod for a week at least I have a reason to be bothered.

I dont know if thats answered a thing but thats sixpeneth for the day.

Last edited by blowfly; Jan 11th 2007 at 8:38 pm.
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 8:37 pm
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by arkon View Post
I know, and it's all just nonsense. The only losers here due to the anticompetative envionment and protectionism are the farmers and the consumers. The rest of the world manages just fine with parasites etc, But here it's just another excuse to fleece the public and what amazes me the most is the public just bend over and take it.
This reminds me of Gordon Browns newest tax... 10 pounds for every plane ticket sold, a global warming tax so to speak. Not one penny is going to new initiatives to fight the problem, of course. Just another way for New Labour to fleece the British public!
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Old Jan 11th 2007, 8:45 pm
  #210  
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Default Re: Why do they bother?

Originally Posted by denver View Post
When you think about it Arkon, considering the number of english people living in Australia, there would be less than one per cent of one per cent posting in this forum. Then there are the expats who moved back home to England (like my mum's best friend) due to homesickness, missing friends and family, not cause they thought Oz was a hell hole.
For many young families it isnt.I know people that love the remoteness, I am not one of those. There is a small percentage post on this forum but many dont know about it and suffer. I was watching a programme a few weeks ago about keeping migrants here.The offical said that the UK made up the biggest intake of migrants but also the biggest returnees.The camera man was from NZ and they asked him why he was here ,how long, and was he staying.He had been here for 3 years, was here for the experience because he could and intended to go home in the near future.He was goinghome because of family so he said.

For me here in Qld it is a hell hole. I don't think Australia is a hell hole but over all no thanks.
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