onepearlyb

Why is it that even when you know you're booked to leave and go home, that the time DRAAAGGGGGGS in. It's quite torturous infact.

We leave Melbourne on Jan 16th and can't see it come quick enough.
Everything that wound us up about the place seems a 100 times worse when your just waiting to go.
I think for anyone who's seriously considering going that they should go when they've made their minds up (finances/situation permitting of course) rather than "sitting it out" for any period of time.

I'm just feeling so fed up with my life here. I've heard it so many times on here about people feeling they "exist" here rather than actually "live" and I really feel the same way right now.

If it wasn't for the fact I spend my time doing courses ( as I can't get work doing what I want to do ) and going to the gym, I'd be going out of my mind!! Nothing happens here are weekends except sport. I know that if I had my own house I'd be pottering around the garden and shopping for new things for the house, but as we rent - there's bugger all to do!
We've given up on the 2-3 hour drives just to find something different and now we're just stuck here counting down the days until we leave.( reason for being "stuck" here is coz our dog has to have 6 months here before we can leave and take him with us, without him having to do any time in quarantine )

Sad, I know - but that's just how WE feel, and it's not as though we haven't given things a go here over the last 17 months.

I'm sure it's not just me that feels this way. I just want to be HOME.

X

TraceyW

You have 20 weeks and 2 days left in Australia. Only 20 more weekends. Only 20 more Monday mornings. It will soon whizz by.

I remember posting on here saying "I have 14 months left to do" I even broke that down into weeks. Now I have 6 weeks. The time, although it sometimes felt like it was going backwards, has just flown by.

I'm lucky in that my last few weeks I am working full time in kindergarten, so I haven't got time to dwell and ponder. I finish on the last day of term, then I have 10 days to clear out cupboards and wardrobes, send the moggies off on their journey home, help the packers out and then that's it.

Try to fill your days. The busier you are the quicker "D Day" will come. Just like waiting for Christmas!!

quoll

Yup, I subscribe to the calendar and big red pen therapy!

You could set yourself up a going home blog - treat it like an adventure, take pictures etc etc, try and visit places that you may want to remember, check out to see if you can volunteer for something that could be short term - schools are often after reading mentors or craft helpers.

On the bright side - you WILL be going home - just remember that the alternative is worse I can thoroughly recommend knitting socks and doing cross stitch or genealogy research as wonderful time thieves!!!!

onepearlyb

Cheers Tracey and Quoll.
I think half the problem is that I don't have many friends here so no-one to talk to from day to day really. We do have two lovely mates here but they don't want us to leave and have refused to even listen to any of our plans or thoughts about returning.
My husband works full time and as I only do agency work as well as studying for various certificates, for the rest of the time I'm home alone with the dog. It's a lonely existence at times and the days seem long. No wonder 4 and a half months seems like an eternity to me.
As much as volunteering would be a great idea, we need the money so I make myself available for as much agency work as possible although it is very thin on the ground. No work last week and nothing so far this week.
This is how it's been for a long time.

So, yes - I mark off the days with a big calender and pen and just look forwards to being home soon,amongst my own kind as it were and feeling "right at home". There's nothing like it.

20 more weekends - I DO like the sound of that!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reminding me.

Cheers guys. Good to hear from people in roughly the same boat.

*pearly*

islandergirl

I am in a similar situation and have found this website timeanddate.com and set up a customised counter which I check every morning, and like quoll's tip I am also ticking away on the calendar, cos I have pets too.

I am also planning a few trips to say goodbye to the places I liked here (not sure if you have any of those) weekends away etc, to break up the time and give some more immediate rewards, like going to Northern NSW etc.

Nu-Shooz

My boats sinking

You'll be off soon, just keep your chin up and keep rowing

Margaret3

you go to the gym, wtf

Margaret3

what about netball,do you wanna join my team

Cheetah7

Oh Pearly that is so sad

Why don't you start your own 'My New Home' book. It could have something like this:

1. Lists of what you plan to put in your new home in the UK (or existing one if you have rented it out)

2. Lists of activities you would like to do once you get back. Research these activities as in cost/maps/planning etc. Print out pictures from the internet if you can and if it helps.

3. Plan your ideal shopping list of what you would like once you land back in the Uk and then plan your weekly shopping list after - go on Tesco online to help.

4. Plan what job you would like to go for - your perfect job or even practice filling out applications for online jobs.

5. Download and print out newspapers for the area you are moving back to in order to get the lowdown on local news to where you will be living.

6. Have a big countdown chart at the back of your book to count down the days, fill it with photographs of where you will be living.

7. As each week/month ticks by then add something special to the book such as a diary entry to say how you are feeling with regards to the countdown.

8. Start looking at flights, airlines and research tickets/prices/stoppovers.

This book could be your lifeline and keep you focused. You could also try and do one happy/positive thing a day - something for YOU and noone else, something that will put a smile on your face and give you some glimmer of happiness for you to hang on to.

Finally, remember everything you have been through Pearly, your health and the visa to get here, you didn't let any of those things beat you so kick this homesickness in the ass and concentrate on your 'book of plans'.

You are alot stronger than you realise and before you know it you will be back where you feel comfortable.

<hugs>

onepearlyb

I know - I cannae believe it myself!! Two-three times a week plus walkin the dug everyday!
I'm fitter than a butchers.

onepearlyb

You........play netball??????????

onepearlyb

PP, I do most of these things you've listed already. I think I'm just bored with mostly my own company. I'm used to working full time and the people Ive worked with in the past have been my friends as well as my collegues. I miss that. When I do agency work here, the places are made up of mostly part timers and casual workers so you never get the same people there each time you go back. Of the few regular full timers that are there, they're usually quite unhappy or planning on leaving!
I don't have kids but I have a dog and being at home with him everyday is quite isolating even though we go out every day for an hour. I even take him to the shops with me and he sits in the car, waiting. How sad is that - I have my dog for company!!!!!!
There just isn't enough financial/social/family backup here to keep me going I guess. Like I said, I had my doubts during the visa process - should have stopped the rollercoaster. But, having my hubbie on board with me, it just wasn't as easy to walk away from it, like it would be if I'd been on my own.
I'm a fairly independent person,strong minded and very determined. I don't like to be someone who's at home all day - no matter what I find to make time go quicker. But circumstances have put me in this position and it's just not helped my overall experience in Oz.
I hate wishing time away,for obvious reasons - but I do just want to be home and away from here. If I'd got the dog his rabies vac's done earlier we could have been away for Christmas but unfortunately we have to stay until mid Jan now.
There's nothing I can do about it except moan on here and hope for replies!

And YOU, young lady - should not be burdening yourself in this particular forum room! You've only just got here. Shouldn't you be whiling your days away in parks and beaches or something?

*pearly*

Margaret3

[QUOTE=onepearlyb;6718241]PP, I do most of these things you've listed already. I think I'm just bored with mostly my own company. I'm used to working full time and the people Ive worked with in the past have been my friends as well as my collegues. I miss that. When I do agency work here, the places are made up of mostly part timers and casual workers so you never get the same people there each time you go back. Of the few regular full timers that are there, they're usually quite unhappy or planning on leaving!
I don't have kids but I have a dog and being at home with him everyday is quite isolating even though we go out every day for an hour. I even take him to the shops with me and he sits in the car, waiting. How sad is that - I have my dog for company!!!!!!
There just isn't enough financial/social/family backup here to keep me going I guess. Like I said, I had my doubts during the visa process - should have stopped the rollercoaster. But, having my hubbie on board with me, it just wasn't as easy to walk away from it, like it would be if I'd been on my own.








Pearl i know exactly what you mean, i had lots of doubts but felt it was too late to pull out, i know some people will think thats crazy but it had all gone tooooooo farrrrrrrr.
As for colleagues at work, this has been one of my major struggles here, my work fullfilled a social/companionship need in me and i was quite happy, here it didnt , so i started looking elsewhere, in particular, my marriage, and ehhhhh not quite getting that need filled there either, in scotland i didnt realise it was a problem in my marriage, if i didnt see my oh at the weekend or had a crap weekend, come monday i would go back to work and back to enjoying the company of my colleagues. One positive thing i can take outta this though, its gotta get fixed or we will have to split coz it will be a very lonely old age if i dont, where in scotland we would probably have plodded along till old age and then realised we had nothing in common.
However , things in my marriage are starting to improve here, we're trying, dunno if it'll work, but we're giving it our best shot. Also work is improving, been at the Austin just over 9 months now and it has taken a while but am getting to know some peeps.
Also i have made lots of effort to got to expat meets here, and its been good, lots of times i couldnt be arsed, but made myself go, no matter how shite i felt, i have made some really nice friends, we have a kinda small girls social circle, dont see each other too much, but arrange a few things and we gather together at them, our next jaunt is gonna be at the races, which you will be MORE THAN WELCOME to come to.Down side with the expat thing is i have met some i dont click with and some i do only to see them return to the uk
. Also pearl i will be more than happy to meet for lunch/dinner, take the dogs for a walk or summit, i know we have tried before and failed, but we could try again!!
Pearl i would strongly suggest (and i know it will be an effort coz i couldnt be arsed with a new job again), going casual at the alfred, in my experience here the bigger public hosps are the best and less bitchy, less stressful places to work with more support, the smaller the hosp definately the harder you work, i have done a few agency shifts at the alfred and royal melbourne and enjoyed them, in particular the alfred as you get lots of brits there, one anaethetist there was as broad glasgow as you could get, made me laugh the whole day, we had a ball taking the piss!!!
However i know for certain i will never feel the commradship i felt with my colleagues in scotland , but i also realise when i return i doubt i will ever feel it again!!!

By no way have i stopped making mistakes in choosing where i work though, am casual at a small privte hosp near where i live, going there today AND I HATE IT!!!!, but its only 5 mins away!!!!

Hope to see you soon, could meet next wed if you want.

love margaret.

onepearlyb

Cheers for that M.

But by the time I applied to the Alfred, waited for replies, had the interview and they chased up my references it would be time for me to leave here!

I've got 20 weeks left here ( THANKYOU TraceyW for reminding me of that!! ) so not enough time to start job hunting now. This has definately been the worst career move I've ever made.I worked regular casual for the first year then since then I've been on agency as you know and studying for certificates. Just not enough money coming in. I'm lucky if I get ONE shift a week from the agency.
As you know, I've gone to the "meets". First one was really good, but after that it just never did it for me whatsoever. Not like we didn't ever go to them or met up with people for lunch/coffee outside the meets. It's not like I'm painfully shy or we can't/don't want to socialise - it's just that it's not happened for us here for various reasons so now we're finally getting out and going back to where we're most comfortable and more like ourselves.

We'll be going to the races this year so will hope to see you there DEFO!
As for us all meeting up - well, we're as hopeless as each other at that, I'm afraid.
Probobly for all the same reasons as well if were both honest. I've tried a few times before and it never seems to work out so that then stops me from making any more attempts. I just feel that if something doesn't happen easily and smoothly then it's probobly not meant to be anyway.
I'm glad things are a bit better for you at last. You've struggled with as much as I have but you have reasons to make you stay and I don't.

I think people can suggest answers to loneliness in a new country till the cows come home, but if it's just not happening for you then you've gotta do something about it and not waste another minute. In our case, 17months is enough and we're giving up and going back. It's sad, but I think the sooner we're away from our experiences here the better.This life is for LIVING and it's time we got back to doing exactly that.

So anyway - back to netball.

*pearly*

Cheetah7

Ive always enjoyed coming to the MBTUK forum even before I emigrated. But I am sort of cheating

I have my BE window open while I am working and strategically plan it so I can keep up with the site in between frantically shutting the window when people go by. Some habits are hard to break and this is one Ive been doing since I registered.

On my days off I am usually bike riding/walking/out with pals and stuff although that has been limited lately as I am getting over glandular fever.

But I shall admit to being on BE nearly all day in between jobs - good job I am a fast typist and can multi task