Aw I've got a big lump in my throat now. Just keep thinking of that wonderful reunion at the airport too - you'll soon be there, not long now!

Hi Julie...sorry not read your previous posts, but i would like to know where abouts in OZ you lived and what was the final nail in the coffin that made you decide to go home??
I am desperate to go home....i am making myself ill thinking about it. When i read how happy everybody is when they go back i feel sick...what is wrong with me??? I am trying so hard to enjoy my time here in OZ but i am nearly splitting up with my hubby,,,and he has done nothing wrong!!
What worries me is that we will be homeless again when we return, how can i put the kids through all that again even though they want to go back.
It's nearly Christmas and i hate the idea of spending it here in the sun alone.
So pleased for you that you made the right decision.....all the best to you and yours and happy christmas..xx

Sorry you're so unhappy Rachel... How long have you been here? Does your hub want to stay or is he unhappy too?
Why are the kids unhappy? Is it because they know you are and it's affecting them, or is it because they're really not enjoying life?
Can you treat it more like an extended holiday rather than hating every minute of it? I often think that it's a vicious circle if you're not enjoying where you are, then it gets you down and you hate it even more because you're down... if you see what I mean.
I'm sure your hub loves you and hates to see you unhappy... but I agree, homeless isn't so good...

If you went back, would family help you out?

I have good days and bad days...my daughter is the main problem, she is deeply depressed which makes me depressed and so on...we all try, we really do. Maybe it's because it's Christmas soon and we normally have a big family get together for at least 2 or 3 days...we are alone here,.
Hubby tries his best but has also decided it is not for him..i want to give it more time but the problem with that is the kids schooling. If we go back soon then they can go back into the year they were in previous, but if we leave it too long they will have to drop a year. Thats why they want to go now!!!
It's not Perth's fault, it is lovely here, but it is not for us. We need more things to do and the money is a worry also...also some other personal things but i don't want to mention.
So after 8 months, i think we can say we did try..i know it's not long enough but we have tried!

I think that we all put so much pressure on ourselves that we should like it here. It is after all a lovely country with nice scenery, lovely beaches, weather etc.etc. We are also constantly told how fortunate we are to have gained visas to live in the "best country in the world". So obviously there must be something wrong with us if we don't like it/can't settle. Why would anyone in their right mind give up living in a sunny country to go back to miserable wet cold Britain?

The thing is though that no matter how visually nice a place is, it doesn't automatically mean that we will be happy living there. I thought that I would be happy living in a warm country with clear blue skies, lovely beaches, unvandalised parks, nice house etc. But those things do not equal happiness at all. Sure they can help towards making a person happy, but there are many other factors too - social life, friends, family, lifestyle, culture, even general daily things such as talking to people who have things in common with you, bumping into people that you've know all your life, a sense of belonging.

Moving to another country is far harder than most people anticipate. I thought that there would be some hiccups along the way, but was sure that we would settle , make friends and enjoy our life here. The reality of it is, that despite it being nice here, there are just too many things that we miss. For me, it's like one of those holidays that you've looked forward to for so long, but then can't wait to get home from.

I think you're absolutely right that solving your daughter's depression is paramount. That would make me return to the UK too. I think you know in your heart of hearts what's right and what isn't, and it sounds like after 8 months, you know what you need to do.

Are you getting any professional help for her? I know this will probably sound like I'm trying to defend Aus, but I'm really not... I was wondering whether her depression is down to being in Australia, or whether she would have become depressed in the UK too? I don't mean to cast doubt on what you say at all, but some teens do become depressed, and it might not be that being here has caused it, more that it was going to happen anyway... ?
Given what you said in your pm, I presume you are getting some help for her? She certainly needs some counselling for sure.. Is that available to you or is it not financially viable?

8 months is long enough for you to know whether it's going to work or not, and given your personal circs, I'd be back on the first plane to be honest with you. I really think you need family support whilst you're all going through this.

I won't say 'try another part of Aus' because financially, I don't understand how people do that! It's like moving country all over again! I'm sure you've considered it too.

I have noticed your posts on the Aus forum and realised you are unhappy... I'm so very sorry it's been so traumatic for you all.
Regardless of the money, I would be getting on the plane.

Do you have a property to sell or are you renting?

x

Really sorry to hear this Rachel. I know you post a lot about not liking it but I obviously didn't realise things had become as bad as they have. There is absolutely no point in carrying on here when your daughter and you are suffering so badly.

Maybe you would be happier in a different part of Aus there is no way of knowing unless you tried it but as iPom says that's an expensive way to go especially if nothing changes.

Have you put feelers out about hubby finding work back in the UK, would he get something easily, would you be able to move back to the same area you came from? Lots of questions and probably not many answers.

One thing I would say, just because someone posts how happy they are to be back doesn't necessarily mean that it's true. Obviously it is in many instances but I also know that a fair few get back and after the first few giddy months realise that although Aus may not have been for them, the UK doesn't seem right either.

LouiseD can I just ask, I have seen you put this comment before, when you state "We are also constantly told how fortunate we are to have gained visas to live in the "best country in the world" when have you been told this? I have never heard that, nor has anyone told me that I am living in the best country in the world I am honestly confused as to who would say that and why anyone would accept it? I love the place and we are all very happy, but what's right for me is not going to be right for everyone. Even Aussies I talk to and they are mainly Aussie's I talk to daily - would never say this is the best country. What would you measure it by?

True - no-one has said that to me either. I just live in Australia. How can there be a 'best country in the world'? Surely this is subjective anyway? The best country is the one you like the most... opinion and nothing more.

I think its very subjective, everyone has their own "best country". But it was actually said to me today by the same lady that had a go last week about the new travel booking system - the system is "a disgrace cos its English not Australian", she informed the staff meeting last week. Today I mentioned to someone about a friend going home, and she really said "Why do they want to go back, when they have come to live in the best country in the world?"

If you live in Perth, you will hear pretty often from the media that not only is this the best country in the world, but that this is the best city in the best state.

LOL...But surely you don't take any notice of that?!! She's not exactly sailing with the full rope of notts, is she? .Does she always betray her appalling lack of thought process, ability to think objectively and clear lack of a good education with everything she says?

Steer clear if I were you.

You listen to what the Murdoch family has to say? I don't give them the time of day.

Doesn't really bother me too much any more, but it did come as a bit of a surprise at first, after living in the UK and Japan, both of which tend toward a masochistic view of themselves and their history at times.

I can see how some people come to think that the problem must be with them if they're unhappy here.

I agree with everything that has been said before. You need, for your own sanity and that of your daughter, to plan your move back sooner rather than later. You are not suddenly going to wake up and think Perth is any better for you than it is now, it just doesn't offer what you want.

Good luck with your plans and try and enjoy your Christmas if you can.

Unfortunately I have to sit next to her, though she is good entertainment at times. Its amazing how easy it is to develop selective hearing