ukintexas

Thanks for sharing your experiences, and those of your sister. It is such a toughy as you're right, I don't want to suffer (although I'm not hating it here as such) for 25 years and then go home after all that! Equally, as much as I have no idea, or control for that matter, as to what my kids will do as adults, I'd like to show them the internal stability that being in your own Country, surrounded by your family, can bring to you. I hope that you can manage to gain some enjoyment from your time in Oz and that your game plan for a return works.

ukintexas

I think mine started with homesickness but has now progressed from that, to a palpable desire to move back. Strange, as I don't hate it here (Houston), and I do enjoy what it has to offer but there is something pulling me - in fact multiple things really. It's a tangible decision that's needed, but it's an illogical one and I think that's why it's so hard. IMHO it's impossible to apply the same decision making process I might apply to other large decisions as there's too much emotional baggage involved in it. Ho hum, it helps to be able to get advice on here that's for sure

dannigirl

Hi ukintexas,

I have followed this thread with interest as I am in a similar position to you. I am a kiwi living in London with a Welsh husband and an 8 month old baby. I have lived here for seven years and recently felt a real pull towards home. Our dilemma is where to live, NZ or Cardiff - where hubby is originally from.

We/I have spent the past few months really trying to sort things out in my head. No firm decision yet but I think I may have been experiencing a bit of homesickness (or a 7 year itch who knows) but when I looked at things logically I saw that moving home was not going to be a perfect ending for us. One of the main reasons for us is that in order to move home we feel we have to have alot of equity behind us. House prices and cost of living in NZ is extortionate - it was a real reality check doing some research.

I always rely on my instinct, and like you I am a knee-jerk decision maker so I had to slow myself down and realise that this is not a decision I can make on a whim (I always told my husband that if I got that 'feeling' of having to go I would just have to go!).

I am still a bit confused mainly thinking about my daughter and any future children we may have, and what will be the best for them? But at the moment we are erring on the side of the UK - well at least until we return to NZ for a visit. Our decision isn't made yet but at the moment I feel okay about staying in the UK, that may change. What I am most afraid of is not feeling 100% about any decision we make!! The longer I stay here the more I think I won't fit in or belong anywhere.

It is truly difficult when you can see the positives in both countries or don't particularly dislike the country you are living in.

Arrrgh I wish I had a crystal ball to see what the future holds.

I will follow your posts with interest!

Good luck with any decision you make.

ukintexas

[QUOTE=dannigirl;7649787]
What I am most afraid of is not feeling 100% about any decision we make!! The longer I stay here the more I think I won't fit in or belong anywhere.
QUOTE]

Hi Dannigirl
From all the other posts I myself have trawled through trying to get some help with my indecisiveness, your quote above is a main point for most of us grappling with this decision. It's like we become Nomads somehow! Never quite factored that into my decision to relocate in the first place.
As far as whether you go to NZ or Cardiff, that does sound as though a little 7 year itch might be in play if you're not heading towards one place specifically - if that makes sense! I wouldn't relocate anywhere other than "back home" because I would simply be taking my current issues with me to any new location.
The crystal ball thing is true too, although strangely I didn't need that when I moved to Houston - I just threw caution to the wind and packed up! All the views on here are really helpful though as no one has any motive other than to offer their personal experience and advise - no one is trying to pull you one way or the other so it means you can take the information and digest it knowing it's unbiased!
Suppose we're all in it together dannigirl so let's ramble on about our indecisiveness, homesickness, 7 year itches and general madness until our hearts' content

cricket1again

Well in that case, it's a matter of putting the most vulnerable people first and planning the timing of any move back to the UK so that it fits in with their needs.

I don't know about where you are, but personally, I believe parents who bring their children to be educated in Australia perhaps do not realise that they will not be learning an in depth education on history and cultural subjects like they would in the UK.
Australia is only 200 years old so British history is not part of the curriculum, as far as I know.
This would worry me. I would prefer that my children have the opportunity to fully understand their country's heritage and culture as part of their learning.
This is why I think the UK is very tolerant towards other nationalities by being encouraging of providing resources for all children to learn.

I guess if it all comes down to your children's needs, which it should, because they are dependant on the choices you make for them, the decision needs to include on which country will provide the best in terms of ongoing education and learning.
For me, this would be the UK. The kids can always travel the world later. So can you!

cricket1again

Just as an afterthought, if it was me and I had to choose which country for my children's education, I would be looking at which social and cultural influences I would want my children educated by. (It's all a form of social brainwashing anyway.)
But, I think I'd go with the UK simply because I'm British and because I believe there is still a lot to be proud of in Britain. Americans would probably choose their own country for educating their children for the same reasons.
It sounds like your final decision boils down to where your children go through their school years. You just then have to fit around them.

Hope this helps you work through your dilemma.

ukintexas

Again, this is such a difficult option to look at. The American system has some great advantages in terms of it's sporting focus (which my son loves), it's activities they offer (such as theater groups etc) which are not available in the UK. However, the American schooling system also (in zero tolerance zones like the one I live in) has kids arrested for things that would simply be considered high jinx back home, and constantly grades them to the point of exhaustion. The UK system to me is obviously more familiar having been through it myself, but I am out of touch with the State system at the moment and therefore am unsure of it's advantages. I have started researching that a little more but that really comes down to timing of going home regarding having to get an address at the right time, in the right location to even stand a small chance of having kids admitted to the right school. If I could afford to privately educate them, the UK would be my choice as I know I would then be able to guarantee them a place in a chosen school. I would be happy with the State system, if it wasn't such a pain in the butt to try and get them into the right individual school. Am rambling again........

cricket1again

OK, what are the chances of your son becoming another David Beckham? And which country produced him?

ukintexas

If there was a chance of that, I'd move to the ends of the earth!

cricket1again

Well, how many world famous sports stars have the US produced? Just playing devils advocate now. I realise you have a big dilemma and it's not easy. But you know what? With passion, dedication, opportunity and support, you can get pretty much anywhere providing you are in the right place.

There are no tower blocks in Australia built by Donald Trump.And no memorials to Einstein either. I'm glad my kids got their education in the UK.

DadAgain

Having said that there are a lot of well adjusted confident young people in Australia and in general even groups of youths hanging around on street corners seem polite, well-organised and seem to be somehow a positive phenomenon.... SOMETHING must be right with Australian education.

(note - this is not based on any personal experience - just hearsay of those who have made the transition between the 2 countries scholastic systems)


The overwhelming message as far as I can see from migrants between the UK and Australia seems to be that Australian school is more engaging, more interesting, more sociable, more ENJOYABLE...
By comparison UK schools may be more academic, more competetive, more exam focused with students who dont enjoy their experience and are keen to get out.

So UK students learn more (perhaps)? - But does that matter? Do we really want our kids to be miserable information-holders who can pass exams but 'suck at life' - or would we rather have our kids less academically acclaimed but better skilled to handle life. The answer is not as obvious as you might think. *My* kids, after all, are cheerful resourceful girls who'd thrive anywhere - perhaps they wouldnt have their spirit crushed by a UK education and would retain their positive attitude whilst excelling academically. Or perhaps my kids are in fact bright enough that despite the less intense focus on academia in Australian schools they'll still rise to the top and go places - but manage to do so in an environment where they are surrounded by happier confident peers. Who knows?....

Can you pass me the crystal ball when you've finished with it?

cricket1again

For me, it would be about major influences and how they affect my children's options and thinking in the long term, not short term. There are plenty of Australian educational drop outs on the Gold Coast and many a billionaire Dubai investor has gone back to where he came from because of the lack of brain power and vision at top level in how investing millions would help create prosperity and jobs locally.
I myself have tried to establish business but have been up against a lawless mindset of corrupt and greedy landlords racking up rents by 1,000%, no work ethic and no skill.
This is why I am moving business back to the UK and why all manufacturing has moved to China.

As for social influences, for example, if the cricketer Shane Warne is Australia's role model for young men, God help all young Australian men. And women.

The UK has produced a huge number of individuals who not only have made significant contributions to the UK, but on the world stage. Queen Victoria and Prince Albert and 1851 Great Exhibition spring to mind, where Britain was introduced as a first class industrial nation. Henry V111 brought Britain to the fore with shipbuilding. The motor racing industry Formula One has been a credit to the UK's image. London is one of the worlds top destinations because of it's culture and heritage.
Our arts, creative achievements, music industry, television, medicine and sports are all world class.

It's just a pity the Brits don't know it.

Anyway, it's an interesting subject and the fun side of Australia is great for children and young adults, I do admit. However, long term, and depending on what they want to achieve, it may not be the best education, in my opinion.
And it's possibly one reason why the Australian government advertise so heavily overseas to try and lure qualified skilled and professional people to work here.
If the education system is working, why do they need to import such high levels of skilled people?

slidingbyee

If I could afford to privately educate them, the UK would be my choice as I know I would then be able to guarantee them a place in a chosen school. UKinTExas.

Have you considered private schooling in the USA?

ukintexas

Yes, I did look at this, but we don't have the money to afford it long term. The discipline in my kids particular school district winds me up no end, but if that were not an issue, I could cope with the grading as I can see an advantage to benchmarking them along the way to make sure they're succeeding. Weighing it up, the schooling here in the US is probably a reason to stay rather than a reason to want to leave.
The UK schooling dilemma arises from the haphazard way in which the catchment areas work. At least where I live, if you live in X House, you go to Y School, no questions. The UK system just doesn't support that so even if you buy a house right next door to the school you want to attend, you still might not be accepted. The risk is therefore that we would move back and the kids would end up one of the more undesireable State schools because the places in the ones we would want for them, would already be taken. That's the issue I have with the whole schooling element.

ukintexas

Get your hands off the crystal ball, there's a queue you know!