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Two months is enough, I want to go home

Two months is enough, I want to go home

Old Jun 16th 2006, 8:57 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Why is it that they have no heating over there?
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Old Jun 16th 2006, 9:25 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by eurotramp
Why is it that they have no heating over there?
They do.
But the cost of running central heating with radiators in every room is exorbitant, as is double glazing, so houses in NZ don't have it. You have to adapt to the NZ way of doing things and not expect it to work (or be as cheap) as the same as in the UK...
We have a 3 bedroom house with an excellent efficient logburner which heats the whole house, full insulation, one electric oil radiator to take the chill off in the mornings - and we are absolutely snug.
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Old Jun 16th 2006, 9:38 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by Apple12
They do.
But the cost of running central heating with radiators in every room is exorbitant, as is double glazing, so houses in NZ don't have it. You have to adapt to the NZ way of doing things and not expect it to work (or be as cheap) as the same as in the UK...
We have a 3 bedroom house with an excellent efficient logburner which heats the whole house, full insulation, one electric oil radiator to take the chill off in the mornings - and we are absolutely snug.
Youre lucky... we live in a badly designed house. Its a beautiful house to look at and quite nice in the summer with its open plan and tiled floors, but winter its really cold. The living is all upstairs and the bedrooms downstairs. The log burner is upstairs and heats only the one room that it is in.... what a waste of heat as it kicks out so much but goes up out of the roof... silly design. We were offered the house to buy but its been ok living here for a while but its not what we would want to spend our money on... I like rooms that have doors and I'd have the log burner downstairs so it could heat both floors. I'm sitting in the study now which is upstairs and nowhere near the log burner and its really cold in here. Theres no other form of heating in this large house.... it mustve cost a lot to build so why not have underfloor heating or something? I know the winters arnt long and freezing up here like in the UK but its still cold and damp in the houses and this rainy weather can go on for weeks and weeks.
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Old Jun 16th 2006, 9:43 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by eurotramp
Why is it that they have no heating over there?
I think they believe that NZ is a Tropical Island in the Pacific and there is no need for heating. We are in Auckland and it is really only cold for 2/3 months and that's only really at night. I have seen some strange things here; people swimming in their clothes is a very common site and people walking around supermarkets in their pyjamas!! Perhaps being so remote from the rest of the world strange things happen
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Old Jun 16th 2006, 9:53 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
We arrived in Auckland 2 months ago yesterday. We managed to find a rental in our price bracket and we're living in furnished place until the container arrives next week. But I hate it here and want to go back to England. My partner seems to be settling fairly well in his job but I find it very hard to feel at home here, I miss my family, the dog we had to leave behind and even little things like a decent takeaway and proper heating. At the moment I feel like telling the shippers to put the container back on the ship and taking the next flight home .

Anyone else feel the same as me? how long does it take to settle and is 2 months long enough to know that you made a mistake?
I think you should be giving it more like one to two years to get real insight to how you feel about the place. NZ isn't just Auckland, and also, moving to any new country has an element of culture shock attached to it. It takes time to settle in and adjust, anywhere. Two months, even 6 months in my opinion is way too short a time period to make a real assessment.

You also have to consider how this impacts you family, and maybe actively seek support and new friends. Good Luck.
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Old Jun 16th 2006, 1:47 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
We arrived in Auckland 2 months ago yesterday. We managed to find a rental in our price bracket and we're living in furnished place until the container arrives next week. But I hate it here and want to go back to England. My partner seems to be settling fairly well in his job but I find it very hard to feel at home here, I miss my family, the dog we had to leave behind and even little things like a decent takeaway and proper heating. At the moment I feel like telling the shippers to put the container back on the ship and taking the next flight home .

Anyone else feel the same as me? how long does it take to settle and is 2 months long enough to know that you made a mistake?
Hi Cathy
Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I felt pretty much the same as you when I first moved. By the end of my first week I wished I was some place else. You may feel a bit different once you are surrounded by your own stuff. I know I did...it was a bit like Christmas!! Two months is not enough to feel like you belong somewhere, it may take years. Have a good think about what you fancy doing and consider going to college. Volunteering is a good way to get involved in your local community. You should be able to get info from the internet. Are you planning to work? It will take one or all of these things to enable you to develop a lifestyle out there that suits you. But dont give up the ghost yet, you must have wanted to move quite badly. When Im really down I remind myself of my stressed out lifestyle back home and the rocketing house prices and that brings me back down to earth. As to the dog, is there a particular reason you had to leave him/her? We brought our dog with us and she has been my lifesaver sometimes. Dont give up. Sort out what you want and go out there and get it!
Very best of luck.
Rosie in Tasmania
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Old Jun 16th 2006, 5:04 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
Wow! thank you so much for all of your replies .

I'm not sure if this is homesickness or not, that's the problem. I've moved round a fair bit but have never felt this negative about a place. Yes it could be culture shock but I was expecting something a lot different.

We're living in Mairangi Bay which is in the north shore of Auckland. It's not at all like I'd thought it would be. It's very hilly for a start and a lot more built up.

We've got two young children and I don't have any intention of working until they are in school full time. I've started to visit some groups with them and have made some friends. But it's not the lack of friends really that is bothering me. It's the coldness and dampness, the awful cost of electricity, no heating, the standard of the rental houses, the bad driving, giving way to the right, the food.....I could go on.

But of all of it it;s the houses that have really depressed me. Honestly some of them wouldn't even be found in a dumpy holiday camp in Britain, how on earth could landlords have the cheek to rent them out in such a state? We looked at some where the plaster was so wet you could pick it off the walls, how can children live in a place like that? And no heating either, there's no way I'd have a portable gas fire because I'm scared stiff of the things so we have to rely on electric heaters and I'm dreading the next bill. But we have to keep the place warm because of the children, It's really hard sometimes.

When I think of our lovely house back in England I could cry but if I start I may never stop. It can't be just me, do other people feel the same?
Of course!! I used to sit back, close my eyes and walk from room to room in my UK house....it was as though I was right there. For the majority of us it does get better...it may take a while...but like everything else...time heals.

An Oz lady once told me she thought it would be easier to settle here if English wasn't the spoken language. I think that's very true. We expect English speaking countries to be similar to the UK and they are not.
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Old Jun 18th 2006, 11:19 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Of course!! I used to sit back, close my eyes and walk from room to room in my UK house....it was as though I was right there. For the majority of us it does get better...it may take a while...but like everything else...time heals.

An Oz lady once told me she thought it would be easier to settle here if English wasn't the spoken language. I think that's very true. We expect English speaking countries to be similar to the UK and they are not.
I don't quite agree with what the lady said. Im from Germany and settled in Australia 9 years ago. I also have been living for some time in Singapore.

In my view for somebody who comes from a non-speaking country I feel it is harder firstly because we understand a lot less. Having said that, living in Singapore was peanuts compared to Australia. The mentality was more my thing, and of course the food.

In my view, that what makes us feel miserable in another country is, when the living standards are lower than what we are used to. On top of it we moved to another country for a so-called better life. And , in my view NZ is not a better life because the living standards as the initial poster said are far below from what we are used in Europe. For me Australia is lacking quite a bit behind Germany in terms of living standards. I've never felt so cold in my house as I do in Australia. Also the choices are far less in NZ than Europe.

Last night I spoke to my daughter in the UK. She told me about all the weddings she has to attend to, 3 in the UK, one in Cypress, one in Germany, one in Spain. She has invitations to 30th birthdays in Austria, Munich and Marakesch. Where can we in OZ or NZ go for the weekend? Running around in OZ and NZ, that's it. In Europe they have very cheap airfares, from were I lived within one hour driving I was in France, 2 hours in Belgium and Swiss, and 6 hours in Eastbourne. Where do I get from Perth?

NZ has an amazing landscape, but that is not enough.
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Old Jun 18th 2006, 11:39 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by Evelin
I don't quite agree with what the lady said. Im from Germany and settled in Australia 9 years ago. I also have been living for some time in Singapore.

In my view for somebody who comes from a non-speaking country I feel it is harder firstly because we understand a lot less. Having said that, living in Singapore was peanuts compared to Australia. The mentality was more my thing, and of course the food.

In my view, that what makes us feel miserable in another country is, when the living standards are lower than what we are used to. On top of it we moved to another country for a so-called better life. And , in my view NZ is not a better life because the living standards as the initial poster said are far below from what we are used in Europe. For me Australia is lacking quite a bit behind Germany in terms of living standards. I've never felt so cold in my house as I do in Australia. Also the choices are far less in NZ than Europe.

Last night I spoke to my daughter in the UK. She told me about all the weddings she has to attend to, 3 in the UK, one in Cypress, one in Germany, one in Spain. She has invitations to 30th birthdays in Austria, Munich and Marakesch. Where can we in OZ or NZ go for the weekend? Running around in OZ and NZ, that's it. In Europe they have very cheap airfares, from were I lived within one hour driving I was in France, 2 hours in Belgium and Swiss, and 6 hours in Eastbourne. Where do I get from Perth?

NZ has an amazing landscape, but that is not enough.
Yes what you say is very true. It can be extremely isolating to be so far away. It is so expensive to travel from NZ. We looked in to flying back to the UK for a holiday and flights for 6 of us amounted to between $14 and $21 thousand dollars. We took flights to Florida in January of this year and they cost $14 thousand dollars!! I really miss holidays to Europe and that is probably one of the main reasons I would return to the UK from living in NZ.

Mandy.
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Old Jun 18th 2006, 11:43 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by Evelin

NZ has an amazing landscape, but that is not enough.
Compared to Eastbourne?
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Old Jun 18th 2006, 11:56 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by Evelin
I don't quite agree with what the lady said. Im from Germany and settled in Australia 9 years ago. I also have been living for some time in Singapore.

In my view for somebody who comes from a non-speaking country I feel it is harder firstly because we understand a lot less. Having said that, living in Singapore was peanuts compared to Australia. The mentality was more my thing, and of course the food.

In my view, that what makes us feel miserable in another country is, when the living standards are lower than what we are used to. On top of it we moved to another country for a so-called better life. And , in my view NZ is not a better life because the living standards as the initial poster said are far below from what we are used in Europe. For me Australia is lacking quite a bit behind Germany in terms of living standards. I've never felt so cold in my house as I do in Australia. Also the choices are far less in NZ than Europe.

Last night I spoke to my daughter in the UK. She told me about all the weddings she has to attend to, 3 in the UK, one in Cypress, one in Germany, one in Spain. She has invitations to 30th birthdays in Austria, Munich and Marakesch. Where can we in OZ or NZ go for the weekend? Running around in OZ and NZ, that's it. In Europe they have very cheap airfares, from were I lived within one hour driving I was in France, 2 hours in Belgium and Swiss, and 6 hours in Eastbourne. Where do I get from Perth?

NZ has an amazing landscape, but that is not enough.
I think you missed my point about the language. The point was that because English is the spoken language, one expects lifestyle/culture of that country to be similar to the British way of life and it is not. If you were moving to Japan, where the language isdifferent you naturally expect the lifestyle/culture to be different.
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Old Jun 19th 2006, 12:04 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
I think you missed my point about the language. The point was that because English is the spoken language, one expects lifestyle/culture of that country to be similar to the British way of life and it is not. If you were moving to Japan, where the language isdifferent you naturally expect the lifestyle/culture to be different.
I know what you mean, if anything, moving to an 'English' speaking country, makes it harder to aclimatise yourself to a different culture. If you move to say France or Spain, you need to learn the Language and with that, there comes an understanding of the daily differences in lifestyle. Look at us, (US/UK) two countries divided by a single Language, will I ever get used to it, probably not.
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Old Jun 19th 2006, 12:22 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by gruffbrown
I know what you mean, if anything, moving to an 'English' speaking country, makes it harder to aclimatise yourself to a different culture. If you move to say France or Spain, you need to learn the Language and with that, there comes an understanding of the daily differences in lifestyle. Look at us, (US/UK) two countries divided by a single Language, will I ever get used to it, probably not.

Exactly Gruff, us people from Joizey understand each other....especially us blondes LOL.
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Old Jun 19th 2006, 12:30 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Exactly Gruff, us people from Joizey understand each other....especially us blondes LOL.
Yeah right.

Two months isn't enough, 6 months to a year for the Honeymoon period. That should be the time you find out the good things about the country.
Then comes the day to day familiarity, that you get anywhere in the world, nowhere is perfect, you have to make the most of it, IMO.
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Old Jun 19th 2006, 1:34 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

I couldn't agree more and I AM trying to make the most of it. But it's a lot harder than I ever expected it to be. It is absolutely freezing today and I would give anything for a gas fired central heating system
Most of the Kiwis I speak to think that central heating would be a waste of money but those who have been abroad or travelled around a bit agree with me when I say we need it here. I am so worried that the kids will come down with a chest infection from the dampness so I have the heater on in their room (they are in the same room because it's cheaper to heat just the one) but I find it difficult to get their clothes dry.

Right now I'm looking at my windows, they are all steamed up and condensation is running down them. I'd like to open them up & get some fresh air round but daren't let out any of the expensive heat that's built up in the house. Someone said to get a dehumidifer but when I looked at the prices of them I think "oh heck, it's not worth it, I'm going to be back in England soon anyway and won't need it there"

Thank you all for your support but I can't ever imagine wanting to stay here. I think I need to talk to my partner about how I feel but have been holding off thinking that things may improve when we are in the new rental & we have our own things round us. Perhaps there is hope yet
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