Too Scared to go back
 

I have been here for 2 years now and I am still homesick. I really miss my family which is daft as they were the main reason for coming out. They suddenly seemed to change when we applied for our visa's and we got on like best friends. Is it because I grew up and showed I was independent or was it some kind of mental pressure from them :confused:

I would now love to move back and be back in the throws of the family - have my nieces and nephews running around but what happens if they turn back into the people I wanted to move away from.

Life in Melbourne is good but we haven't got the finances we used to have in the UK. I miss the holidays abroad and the lunches with hubbie once a week. Going to the gym and theme parks with the girls.

I am so frightened that if I drag my family back it could be a huge mistake and maybe the cost of my marriage! Hubbie loves it here.

How many have stayed here because you felt obliged to??? Do the feelings of homesickness ever go away?

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I've been here nearly two years - the feelings certainly haven't gone away, though they are easier to deal with, especially as I have decided to always have the next "UK holiday date" planned to aim at.
I definitely feel obliged to stay, although thats not to say I dislike Australia, I just find some aspects - like the Qld climate - very hard to deal with.
Hoowever I've never really thought that going home would be a possibility so I really don't know what I would do if given the choice.
I know The Bloke would be desperately miserable in the UK, so moving home is not an option. Even moving within Aus is not really practical because we have no money - or property - to keep us going unill we get new jobs. That also would be true if I wanted to go home - no money, no job, nowhere to live.

I guess the thing for you to weigh up I whether you would want to be in the UK if your family reverted to being how they were originally - would you all stay best friends?
I also think if you have the choice to go back, and you feel you would be happier there, then take the chance and go - life's too short to be miserable when you have the option to change things :)

For myself, I am hoping my upcoing UK trip will give me enough of a boost to keep me going till next time!

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Hi,
I don't know about the family thing, maybe when you applied and got your visa they suddenly realised just how much they loved you and would miss you. Isn't it true that we always take for granted those that are closest to us? Maybe they'd done just that. This could well have brought you all a lot closer and once that closeness is formed, it could well be there forever.

As for the feeling obligated to stay...yep that's me alright! I'm doing a degree and will be here for another 3 years yet :( and my hubby adores this place. I feel guilt, guilt, guilt all the way about taking him home!)

I've been here 15 months now and the homesickness never goes away for me, it just get's a little more bearable. I am scared stupid at the prospect of going home. Even more scared than I was before I came here (and that's saying something!) When we came here though it was all a big adventure and exciting, we all know what we're going home to and it's not quite as thrilling is it? There is also that sense of "why hasn't it worked for me?" I've tried my damndest to settle here, done everything I possibly could, but as each day passes I realise that my home will always be the UK. I know it has problems, so does this place, but I have come to realise just what a special country I left behind and that I love it....warts n all!

The things that scare me more than anything:

1) staying here forever and growing old here.
2) going home and sitting back after a year or so and thinking "I think I've made a mistake...Aus was better"
3) Putting an ageing parent into a UK Care Home...while I'm sat here in Aus and cannot visit or help.They would be all alone.

The last one is the worst for me. I've just lost my Dad in July and that was awful. Leaving my Mum behind in the UK was so painful. I know people say that you shouldn't live your life for your parents, and I totally agree, but I happen to love my folks very much and I feel a sense of duty that I should be there to support them when they need me. After all, they made huge sacrifices for me when I was growing up, shouldn't I be prepared to give a little something back?

Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do. Hard decision isn't it? Harder than the decision to come out here in the first place. :rolleyes:

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

There are all kinds of complex explanations why this kind of thing happens, but I think they all boil down to the perversity of human nature. Bit like when people are getting ready to go back to the UK because they can't stand life in the US/Oz, wherever, then in their last few weeks suddenly realize how much they like and will miss the US/Oz, wherever

Dont go back because of your family, or assume that if you do go back they'll be the same as when you were about to leave (see above comment on the perversity of human nature). Obviously, many people here have moved overseas (or back home) because of "people", especially spouses or children. But if you are going back because of non-spousal/children family, you have to ask yourself whether you'd still go home if they weren't there, or didn't want to see you, or moved away. You don't have control over other people, go home because you want to be there, not because of expectations you have of your family

Everyone on here is different. Some people never get over homesickness and eventually go home. Others are desperate for a year, two years, then down the line are so glad they didn't go back home (because they eventually grew to love their new home). For me, it's lasted between a matter of hours/days to over a year, but I've always eventually settled in (several moves!) I'm lucky in being single so that whenever I screw up I only have to answer to myself. I've read many people on here who are married to someone who has the polar opposite opinion to them (love/hate their new country) and I can't imagine how difficult a situation that must be to deal with. I wish you luck in your decisions.

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I don't know how old you are but you say that your parents all of a sudden "changed and got on well".......I can say from experience that that happens with almost everyone especially when you get to about 24-28 yrs old..........from the age of 15-21 kids seem to know everything and I was the same then normally once you have had your wild times you start to grow up a little and do more sensible things thus parents are happier that you are getting your act together.......if your relationship with your parents is not good at the age of 30 then it porbably will never be any good.......good luck with everything and I hope you find whatever you are searching for

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I know exactly how you feel - but life is short to stay somewhere you are not 100% happy. If family is not important in life then what is? Yes we do have our own lives to live - but do we have to live them so far away? The people who most care about our children after us - are their grandparents - and they live 12000 miles away, and may not be around much longer.

My DH likes it here too, but is more than happy to go back and we always said 2 years, and if one of us was not happy, we'd go back! What wouldn't I swap to have done your 2 years instead of my 9 poxy months! Surely your DH would want to see you happy?

We too don't have the finances we had in the UK, and I too used to love having the choice of different holiday destinations in Europe, all the choice of skiing destinations, and there's just so much more to do in England, so much more choice with theme parks, castles etc isn't there? Such alot more to teach the kids.....

I'm in Melly too and I go and meet DH at lunchtimes in the CBD now and then.....so depending where you are that's not impossible. Are there no gyms where you are that you could join?

If you go back you've got to think of it as another sort of adventure and concentrate on the positives like the ones you listed. Maybe go and live somewhere else (I want to go back to live in Bath and look at rightmove daily!!), and if family is a problem, live a livable distance away from them. Make a list of all the things you could visit.

Both places have pros and cons, neither place is perfect.

For me – life is too short, this is just too far away to live the rest of my life...end of story!

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I WANT TO GO BACK SO VERY VERY MUCH.....BUT I AM REASONABLY HAPPY HERE??

Nope the homesickness for me has not gone away in 3.5 years and with my sister getting married this year and having another baby shortly all my feelings have returned again. I like Pollyanna work on making sure I have planned visits and lots and lots of contact.

Sometimes the visits help - I had a horror visit just over two years ago when I went back for four weeks and had to stay with family and most of the buggers made it really really difficult for me and the two kids, didn't put themselves out at all. I was so pleased to get on that plane and come 'home'.

A month ago I cried all the way back from the UK after staying with my sister for a week, I cried in M&S and Sainsburys as well while I was there :scared: I was just so happy to be surrounded by the familar.

My hubby is very happy here and has no plans to return the children are settled enough that they only state they will be leaving at around 18 (4-5 yrs from now) to see more of the world or live in the UK for a time. All the rellies have visited and to be honest most now do not want to spend their cash on visiting the same place again.

I am eligible for citizenship this year and will get that organised soon, but I think it would be silly for us to uproot before the kids are out of high school, it has also taken us over three years to get back financially to a point we felt we were in the UK, I do not fancy the hard work all over again so I am planning on the next UK/Europe holiday and the next AUS one instead. Thanks goodness we can afford some holidays I feel for the ones who can't. I will admit we have had financial help from Father In Law cause it really is too expensive for all all to go backwards and forwards.

I hope to be able to retire and live in Europe and Aus.....I can dream can't I?

Does any of this rambling make sense....nope to me neither, it is what I worry about often, so what I do instead of driving myself mad, is take enjoyment out of every good bit, whinge a little to make myself feel better rather than store it up - and come on here and find I am not the only ejeeit.

Please email or private message and we can always chat further.

Hope you feel supported and empathised with :p

cheers

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Point 1 scares me too. My son's kindy teacher's mum came from Greece 40 years ago. She's been through 40 years of depression and never got over leaving her homeland. That is what would happen to me too!!!

I'm also meeting my share of £10 poms!!! They've all got their stories to tell.

Yes we shouldn't live life for our parents - but we don't have to live it quite so far away do we?

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Its great to hear from you all.
I really don't want to grow old in Australia and I know that the longer I stay here the harder it will be to put away a UK pension!
I love my family so much and I guess that coming here has made me realise that. Yes I was in my late 20's when we came so maybe I have just grown into that friendship faze with my Mum and Sister.
They changed big time when I left because they both split with their long term partners. Guess they needed me.
I have also realised how much I miss going down the gym and pub with my friends. I can't do it here as we don't have the finances.
When we came here I always thought that I would visit family every year. It has really hit hard this month financially and I have realised that going home to visit maybe a dream of the past.
I know that the UK could be my home for life but I have to take into account the fact that the time isn't right for the girls or hubby. Unfortunatly hubby doesn't want to hear about me harping on about the UK anymore so I now feel more lonely than ever!
In a way though I guess that I have to think that although I miss nephews and nieces they for sure never want to visit Aunties when they get older! Unless they live in an exotic place as OZ.

I did go back to the UK last year and I had a fantastic time. My family clubbed together and sent my on a stunt flying lesson for my 30th. We had a huge family meal after in Brewers Fair. There were about 50 of us! I forgot how special moments like that are! After that I went camping with my sister and Mum and then we went to Disney land. ohh got tears again now remembering.
Guess I need to win the lottery to obtain the lifestly I dream of in OZ with the trips back home that I yearn for.

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

[QUOTE=woodyinoz]Unfortunatly hubby doesn't want to hear about me harping on about the UK anymore so I now feel more lonely than ever!
QUOTE/]

Don't feel lonely!!! Come and harp away on here.........

I thought we'd be able to go back once a year, but we couldn't afford it! I'm just hanging out for my 5 weeks at Christmas when I can get my UK fix which will hopefully get me through next year!!!

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

[QUOTE=kendodd]My 5wks last year lasted me a good year. It will really help you get through.
After going back last year I did realise that Australia was a great place to bring up little kids. It has helped me stay immensely for that reason.

Where are you visiting... Don't forget your winter woollies :D

I have just had an email from hubby listing the cost for citizenship. I think that he is starting to realise how finances are starting to effect our lifestyles. He wants a chat tonight.

I am still way too scared to commit to going back yet though.. and excited at the same time :confused:

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Are you sure it's not just a case of the grass is greener..

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Could be, but unlike when we came here we have lived there and we know that the grass is greener and more fun when you have your herd with you ;)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I just had to respond to your message as I felt like I was reading about my own life :(

I have been here 5 years and am as homesick as you could ever imagine! I had the same situation where I wasnt that phased about leaving family back then, now that I am a mum myself I feel the need to be close to my mum again. The only reason i dont just pack up and go is that I know I am giving my girls a better lifestyle here - but at what cost?

My hubbie lives and breathes Aus, to me it is too isolated. I go through the same feelings every year and normally we would look at having a holiday back there to give me my "fix" but with two children now we just cant afford it. I, like you cannot bear to think of growing old here and missing my family so much, it makes me feel phyiscally sick.

My husband is starting to get concerned about the effect it is having on me and has said we can go back, but i just know he will hate it - even though he is from there he hates it :( I think it would ruin our marriage if we were to go back and i would always feel guilty if any of us didnt like it there.

Oh what to do :confused: It is comforting to know that there are others out there who feel the same (mainly females???) and that I am not being ungrateful for the wonderful opportunity to live in a beautiful country.

Hope we manage to make ourselves happy soon :)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Well, I thought that it would be greener here, then we got here and it isn't greener! For us personally ....as a family anyway!

It depends where you came from and what you had in England!

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

[QUOTE=woodyinoz]Well, if we stayed here, we'd be skint in no time at all. From a financial point of view - we do much better in England allowing us to have a good variety of holidays, and the extra 5 days holidays allowance! It isn't everything, but at least it allows you to do the things you want to do. Also, better choice of jobs for DH.

What is the cost for citizenship anyway, it can't be too much can it? I do think your hubby needs to take your feelings into account. A happy mum = a happy family, and England is/was your home.

This whole emigration business opens a lovely can of worms that you just don't get the lid back on! It's a personal thing for every individual, but I don't honestly feel that we are giving our children a better life here at all. Life is life wherever you are and it's up to us as parents to make it interesting and fulfilling for the kids wherever, be it here or there.

I'll be all over the place when I go back, but I will be doing some serious shopping and top of the list is a decent winter coat and some jumpers for winter next year because I've never been so cold in my life inside a house here!

What's right for one might not be right for someone else, but I'd go back in flash if I could!

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

The more I read from people who are still homesick after many years, the more I think it's far harder to make that move back to 'home' if you've been there a while?

It's going to be far more of a challenge..will you like it? It's going to be far more of a financial burden..and then will hubby like being back? It's always the men that seem to like Oz, I've said it loads of times, but then they always seems to settle for the simple things in life!? :rolleyes:

I do wish everyone whos still there and feels homesick the best, I hope you can sort out the possibilities of coming back, if you feel strong enough I'm sure it will work.

I imagine if we had stayed longer the chances of returning would have seemed further out of reach. Then again it's not all about owning a home is it, people rent and are happy that way, its where you feel happy that counts, not always what you have in the material sense? :confused:

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I have been here 4 months and the last couple of days have felt like Betty Boot described "physically sick' about the thought of having to stay and grow old in oz.
I know this will annoy a lot of people me saying that (including my hubby)
we have fallen out big time tonight because we both shared our true thoughts about being here and we clearly don't agree!!!
I feel as if i am in no mans land at the moment.
Anyone else felt the same? :(

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

It's awful isn't it. I kept my feelings to myself for a while. Then I started to make comments to hubby about how I felt. By this time we had bought a house but I just kept thinking..'Oh well, we can sell it' !!

Then one day I really came clean with how I felt, he didn't say much really, I think he expected my feelings of homesickness to subside, but they didn't. I would go and meet him for lunch and sob in the car...
Nice way to spend his lunch time!!!! :D
Over the next few weeks we talked and talked and decided to go back but he was happy to stay. He did settle straight away back here though and doesn't regret coming back. We didn't come back for nearly a year after deciding though, so it gave him time to explore and live a while in Oz ;)

Cheer up, things are not as bad as they seem. :)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

LOL! It's so good to know other people go through the same things. Last time I was in the UK I bawled my eyes out in the Tesco car park! :o Being an expat really messes with your head doesn't it? ;)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Reading all these posts has brought tears to my eyes as it just brings back all those empty stomach feelings of homesickness I got when I lived in Oz.

I guess I am lucky that my aussie hubby didn't hate the UK.! Maybe its easier thinking that the UK may not be forever either. Who knows...

We have just had my "outlaws" here from Oz and it just really hit home yet again why we came back as they were one of the main reasons we left Oz. These people travelled 12,000 miles - haven't seen their grandaughter in 1yr and spent approx 15mins playing with her in their 10days stay.!!!No sweets, no treats, no toys, no stories at bedtime, nothing...!!!! No presents from Oz...nowt ......Anyone would think this beautiful 4yr old didn't exist. Still we both hope they won't be rushing back here too soon.!!!Maybe I should have developed some nasty habits..or some bad cooking skills...mind you my FIL liked sucking the food out of his mouth plate after a meal infront of us so who knows what habits they would consider bad.....!!ekkkkkk made me gag..!!

Still I can ungrit my teeth now they have gone.... :scared: :eek:

My heart goes out to all those feeling that horrible empty space....all I can say is that for me it got better ...slowly.....try to stay busy and in touch with people.

:)

Take care peeps.... ;)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Ugh! Sounds like a lovely visit. How could they not bring pressies? And I bet she noticed, cos at that age they do, don't they. I am taking so many pressies for my sister's trio, plus Christmas stuff, that I have no room for clothes in my luggage. :)
Glad the move back worked out well for you :)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

That's the sort of Grandparents that I left in the UK.One of the reason's for coming out here. I think my Mum babysat once a year and she wouldn't even visit when my daughter was told that she had a non contagious disease and had 20% chance of fatality. 3 months she was in bed / hospital and not one visit from family. I guess that I got angry and went for my visa. it was only then that they changed and became doting parents!!!!

I now realise that I left to spite them but I ended up siting myself. Now if I come home it will be for my kids benefit. OH and the pubs :D

Hubby has now agreed to go back in a few year if wages are good - yippeee NOW I AM SCARED - HELP.... stay go - stay go - stay go :confused:

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I am so sorry to hear this. Please don't feel lonely. A lot of us have felt just the same...

It is so hard to enjoy your new life when your heart wont let go of the old one.

I think that men haven't got the same feelings as women and they just want to settle down.. I know now that the main thing stopping hubby from going back was not the love of this country but all the effort that would be involved. I fully understand what he means but it has taken quite a few disagreements to get this much out of him! And I do undertand and sympathise with him. I can't be easy having to keep changes from jobs that you enjoy.

Please share your homesickness with us as it does help.

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

[QUOTE=kendodd]We left loads of our jumper's behind when we came :mad: , like you i have not felt so cold in a house since i was a child and we had no central heating or double glazing :eek: , i never thought i would be reminded of those memories again and definately not in AUSTRALIA :D

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

God Woody....sorry to hear how bad they were but at least they have changed.That must have really hurt!

My outlaws won't change and even my hubby said we aren't doing that again....having them to stay. They hated the fact we came back to the UK but made no effort even when we lived in Oz. Christmas was always a cold affair etc where my daughter ( who was a baby then) got gift vouchers and my hubby got presents.....sadly the main thing that came out of the visit is we both think my MIL hasn't untied the apron strings with regards to my hubby. She treated him rather than our daughter.Everything was for him even down to buying him treats from the shops...but again nothing for our daughter. I must say that they did give her an ornament when they arrived.....mmmhhhhhh just what a 4yr old loves............!!! :) :)

Don't be scared...come back and see how you feel. Have you got citizenship yet?

Cheers

P :)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Yuk ! Pants that's revolting! Maybe you're better off as far away as you are!!!

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Filling out the papers for citizenship this weekend :D

I am sorry about your inlaws. As you said at least my family changed. My kids love seeing them now and my Mums face when she went to Disneyland with the girls last year was a memory that will last forever. I hate xmas without them all around.

Is your MIL OK with you or does she see you as evil for taking her son away?

My MIL died a few years ago, she was a lovely kind lady and a great support in the absense of my Mum. I love my FIL to bits. He is 70 in a few weeks and all on his own.. I would move back just for him. He gave me so much support when things went bad with hubby.

Have you got your parents around you?

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

tell me about it....god you would think the bathroom is the best place for that..!!!I am just glad little Pants didn't see him...!!! :eek:

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

We we moved out here, it was me that did everything - organised estate agents, opened the Oz bank account, filled out all those blooming visa forms, organised quotes from shippers, got the cars advertised and sold, booked and paid the airfares, redirected and stopped all the mail.......

I didn't mind though as he was at work..... it's alot of bother, but to be quite honest, I'd do it all again, but this time all I have to do is sell 2 cars, organise a container and book the airfares so it won't be as complicated.

Then there's are the start up stuff at the other end!!!

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

What does the citizenship cost - was it $120 or something? I've had a look through it, and because we stayed in England a full 18 months before we arrived we will have to re-do the police checks!!!!! So will look into it this Xmas when I get home.

Also, there's a list of people who can sign it isn't there? Like magistrates, headteachers etc who are supposed to have known you for a year.....so I've made sure I know a nurse!!!!

My mum and Dad are here now till October 12th - it's great to have them, we hadn't seen them for 10 months. I feel lucky as my parents in law are great too.

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

How nice that you had the good relationship with your inlaws.

I think my MIL wanted my hubby to marry an Aussie girl. I am also 10yrs older than my hubby (go girl) and of course now we live here she has no "control" over him.
My FIL is ok bless him...he's just very quiet apart from the teeth sucking episode...he just seems to want a quiet life. I have my mum near by but my dad was killed in a car crash when I was 13 so we have been without him for a long time now. My mum never re-married and has brought 3 girls up on her own through those horrible teenage years. I am close to her and she loves our daughter no end..!! as she does all the grandkids. She has given us both alot of support. Bless her.... :) :)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Citizenship will be just over $1000 for 2 adults and 3 kids. That does include new passports though :)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I have been in OZ for 40 years now, have 9 Grandchildren and 5 Great- Grandchildren, beleive me I still get homesick,and if anyone tells you different they are lying, home is home and always will be, talk to anyone you meet who are not living in their homeland and they will tell you the same, from time to time they feel HOMESICK. :(

The only way that I have survived in OZ is by going home for holiday's every second year. have just got back from the U.K three days ago and the jet lag is now starting to kick in :zzz: so I had better try and get a little sleep.
Oh and by the way I am homesick already and I have just got back { sad sad person that I am. :(

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

40 years of homesickness :scared:

Thank goodness that you have such a large family here to help you through ;)

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

This is so sad and something that I dread happening to me. I have heard of so many people who have stayed too long and couldn't return, due to family etc, and always wished they'd gone home.

You must be so brave to stay all this time feeling those pangs of homesickness.

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

I have friends in Tassie who emigrated in 1960 - he settled at once, Sydney, then Tassie, hasn't been back since 1981, and has no desire to go. The wife on the other hand would love to move back but sticks it out here for her hubby and son. She gets through by holidaying in the UK every couple of years, and its obvious where her heart is. Very difficult when half the family feels like that.

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

It's so comforting to read posts from other people who feel the same as I do.

We've been out here just 6 months (hubby and 21 month daughter) and I can honestly say I LOVE the country. We've bought a beautiful (small by Oz standards) house in a semi-rural township but with everything on hand. Hubbys job is great, I have a good social life and have made some true friends in the short time that we've been here.

BUT >>>

I'm now in the process of selling the house and moving back to the UK. I now feel that my daughter is missing out on relationships with our family - grandparents, cousins, aunties etc. She really was the apple of everyone's eye and spoilt rotten (time wise I mean, not monitarily). She has 4 cousins so wasn't the only grandchild (2 on each side), but I'm now thinking about the times we would go to my sister's house and her girls would be SO happy we'd come round and just love playing with her. My daughter is also at the age where she's getting into everything, starting to speak and do so much more than a baby. I think I feel I need family around me to share this with.

Does any of this make sense or am I rambling?

Hubby's and my families all lived in the same town within 20 mins of each other but we didn't live in each other's pockets. I think if my MIL was a crap granny it would make things easier but she isn't, she's one of those fantastic grannies to whom grandchildren are everything.

Anyway, my little one has just woken and will want feeding now. Just wanted to get this off my chest.

BTW, hubby doesn't want to return but will, hopefully for us all to be happy.

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

This was my biggest fear, staying longer in Oz and still feeling the same homesickness. I'm sure you are less homesick now than in the earlier days?

I didn't want to live my life feeling that way and there was no way we could have gone back to the Uk every two years.

At least you can do that and enjoy your time here!! :D

Re: Too Scared to go back
 

Tracey, are you still considering Melbourne? Or are you now inclined to go back now? I reckon people need to maybe get citizenship as it will open doors later on, sounds like you will. If I was forced at gunpoint to go back to the UK I would want to live in Shropshire. But I am not sure if I could juggle lifestyle expectations with a job - one of the things I notice is that all the best areas really do come with a premium price now. We have family here now in ways neither of us had in the UK.

Mums eh

I spoke to my old dear for the first time this morning in years. I last saw her in June 2003 - over 2 years ago - I walked out on her when she got iffy about me going to Australia (!) - she actually criticised family I have over here as they have never got on. I kept my migration a bit of a secret - but of course, I had been here for a year and it didn't take much for her to realise I'd be on to a good thing here - I think she knew I wasn't come back when I left that first year. I've only seen her twice in the last 5 years - I think as we get so busy, she as much as me. I've actually had her turn me down for visits as she is too busy lol. But you know what, we actually get on better with email so it suits us to live apart. I could build her a granny flat in the paddock if she got destitute - but I don't think it will come to that and my wife would be livid.

Badge

PS Loaded gun comment - this doesn't mean I hate the UK!!! There just would be no gain from going. Loaded - you have to vet just about everything you say on all these forums so noone takes it the wrong way..