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Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Old Jun 13th 2007, 2:17 pm
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Default Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

We are thinking of moving back to the Uk. I really need some advice and would like to hear everyones thoughts.
Here we have a lovely old house and 6 acres. We live in a beautiful rural area and have all sorts of wildlife inc bears that we love to see.
My husband has a wonderful job for a large international company. They are training him to be a manager.
We live 1.5 hours away from Manhattan and all the wonderful things that has to offer and as we homeschool the laws are very relaxed in this state.

The problems are, I dont drive here, we cant afford another car, the house is fallling down and in need of lots of repairs. The garden really overgrown, every time we clear an area its back to how it was really fast. We had a baby last year and its just too much work for me. Hubby has to commute 2 hours each way, as this is the nearest we could afford. We hardly see him in the week.
Work doesnt pay well, so we are skint and none of us can work on his visa. We havent been able to vist family or the Uk in 3 years since we moved over here, or even had a holiday.
The medical here sucks, so what happens when we get old. Same with retire ment. We just spent $120 on hayfever medication that doesnt work.
What happens about famly if you stay here, what if they need help or aging? I couldnt put them in a home, but couldnt afford the medical here either.

We dont like how alot of the things work here, politics included.

We dont go in for posh things or clutter, so we dont waste money that way. I cant see a way out of the cash situation for us and I hate to think this is it for the rest of our lives. We already have everything we need in the Uk, so I hate having to buy the same things here, especially when we are thinking of leaving.

The bugs here are nasty and the weather is so hot/cold that you cant go out in it most of the time.

The problem we have going back to the Uk is finding a home, the bank said we need a Uk address to get an account. We cant get a Uk address without a bank account??
The houses here dont sell too fast, so how do you find a house in the uk. We really wont rent ever again we have had such bad experiences with it. We dont have family that could help out either.

We are not great fans of England, but now we seem to see it differently and alot worked better there, even if we didnt like it!

If we stay in the US much longer our teen kids will settle down and we will be stuck here.
its such a hard choice to make, in some ways this is a better place, but most seem to be in England.
We worked so hard to get here on a work visa, it seems such a shame to throw it away.

I feel like we have been given a golden opportunity and dont want to waste it by leaving. Its such a hard decision for us to just say yes lets leave. I always seem to have made the wrong choices in the past and dont want to make things worse.

I cant seem to write everything down that is bothering me, theres so much going on in my head about it. I hope it makes sense, Id like to know how it affected you going back to the Uk, or if you regret it. If you are thinking of leaving, what issues are you thinking of and if you are in the process of leaving, how are you doing it?
Thanks everyone
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 2:33 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by gypsygirl
We are thinking of moving back to the Uk. I really need some advice and would like to hear everyones thoughts.
Here we have a lovely old house and 6 acres. We live in a beautiful rural area and have all sorts of wildlife inc bears that we love to see.
My husband has a wonderful job for a large international company. They are training him to be a manager.
We live 1.5 hours away from Manhattan and all the wonderful things that has to offer and as we homeschool the laws are very relaxed in this state.

The problems are, I dont drive here, we cant afford another car, the house is fallling down and in need of lots of repairs. The garden really overgrown, every time we clear an area its back to how it was really fast. We had a baby last year and its just too much work for me. Hubby has to commute 2 hours each way, as this is the nearest we could afford. We hardly see him in the week.
Work doesnt pay well, so we are skint and none of us can work on his visa. We havent been able to vist family or the Uk in 3 years since we moved over here, or even had a holiday.
The medical here sucks, so what happens when we get old. Same with retire ment. We just spent $120 on hayfever medication that doesnt work.
What happens about famly if you stay here, what if they need help or aging? I couldnt put them in a home, but couldnt afford the medical here either.

We dont like how alot of the things work here, politics included.

We dont go in for posh things or clutter, so we dont waste money that way. I cant see a way out of the cash situation for us and I hate to think this is it for the rest of our lives. We already have everything we need in the Uk, so I hate having to buy the same things here, especially when we are thinking of leaving.

The bugs here are nasty and the weather is so hot/cold that you cant go out in it most of the time.

The problem we have going back to the Uk is finding a home, the bank said we need a Uk address to get an account. We cant get a Uk address without a bank account??
The houses here dont sell too fast, so how do you find a house in the uk. We really wont rent ever again we have had such bad experiences with it. We dont have family that could help out either.

We are not great fans of England, but now we seem to see it differently and alot worked better there, even if we didnt like it!

If we stay in the US much longer our teen kids will settle down and we will be stuck here.
its such a hard choice to make, in some ways this is a better place, but most seem to be in England.
We worked so hard to get here on a work visa, it seems such a shame to throw it away.

I feel like we have been given a golden opportunity and dont want to waste it by leaving. Its such a hard decision for us to just say yes lets leave. I always seem to have made the wrong choices in the past and dont want to make things worse.

I cant seem to write everything down that is bothering me, theres so much going on in my head about it. I hope it makes sense, Id like to know how it affected you going back to the Uk, or if you regret it. If you are thinking of leaving, what issues are you thinking of and if you are in the process of leaving, how are you doing it?
Thanks everyone
Hello again.

If you want to return to the UK you will probably have to rent or stay with relatives for a while unless you have the money to buy a house before you move.

Teenagers are a big problem. Our daughter was 11 when we moved...she is now 22 and her life is in the US/Canada. She is now a USC but is at uni in Toronto and doesn't see herself returning to the UK...her life is here now. At the moment our plan is to have a place both sides of the pond when my husband retires.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 2:44 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Hi
I dont want to end up having to stay, thats a big worry for me. If we stay it will be because we chose to. If the kids stayed then I couldnt leave them, we are a close family.
Family cant help us out at all, we are on our own with it. We wouldnt have the rent deposit anyway if we could. I really dont know how to even start to get back with no funds.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 2:48 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by gypsygirl
Hi
I dont want to end up having to stay, thats a big worry for me. If we stay it will be because we chose to. If the kids stayed then I couldnt leave them, we are a close family.
Family cant help us out at all, we are on our own with it. We wouldnt have the rent deposit anyway if we could. I really dont know how to even start to get back with no funds.
I know what you mean...there's just the 3 of us...all we have is each other. The longer you stay the more difficult it is to return when you have teenages IMHO.

Is there any chance your husband could get a transfer back to the UK with his company? That way they would help with the relocation costs. My husband transferred with his company...it was written into his contract that they would pay for a transfer to the UK when and if we wanted to go back.

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Jun 13th 2007 at 2:51 pm.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 3:12 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

They might, Im not sure but that would mean London and I cant see them paying for a place big enough for all 6 of us. I think we are stuck in red tape.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 5:26 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by gypsygirl

We are not great fans of England, but now we seem to see it differently and alot worked better there, even if we didnt like it!

Thanks everyone
Hi Im not so sure I understand your post because on one hand you seem keen to go to UK, then you sound like you dont want to go at all?
If so, I suppose you ought to get that one firm in your head first!

But, incase im reading the above wrong, the only things I can chip in that you expressed concerns about are:
You can homeschool pretty easy in the UK too. Not sure about the implications for your kids integration that way though, from a personal point of view. You dont need to be qualified or anything to jome educate in the UK.

It depends on the lifestyle you want. If you cant drive, you would probably have more of a life living in a nice part of London (if you can afford it) because people use public transport in the city. So very quickly you could get about , and if you have homeschooled kids there will be a wealth of education in Londons free museums, galleries etc.

If your family cant help by putting you up, they can help by letting you use their address so you can start to get bank acconts etc. Then do a change of address when you move. Perhaps they will let you use the address before you arrive in the country so you can look online at houses and possibly put in offers. www.rightmove.co.uk is probably the best site for house sales and rentals.

Hope this is some help
C
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 6:02 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

We arent 100% yet, we are trying to see if its even possible! I can drive in the Uk so it would be much easier for me .
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 6:11 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by chance to be
Hi Im not so sure I understand your post because on one hand you seem keen to go to UK, then you sound like you dont want to go at all?
If so, I suppose you ought to get that one firm in your head first!

But, incase im reading the above wrong, the only things I can chip in that you expressed concerns about are:
You can homeschool pretty easy in the UK too. Not sure about the implications for your kids integration that way though, from a personal point of view. You dont need to be qualified or anything to jome educate in the UK.

It depends on the lifestyle you want. If you cant drive, you would probably have more of a life living in a nice part of London (if you can afford it) because people use public transport in the city. So very quickly you could get about , and if you have homeschooled kids there will be a wealth of education in Londons free museums, galleries etc.

If your family cant help by putting you up, they can help by letting you use their address so you can start to get bank acconts etc. Then do a change of address when you move. Perhaps they will let you use the address before you arrive in the country so you can look online at houses and possibly put in offers. www.rightmove.co.uk is probably the best site for house sales and rentals.

Hope this is some help
C
I understand her...for 8 yrs I dreamed of going home. Then one day my husband said his company wanted him to transfer back...I didn't want to. Our daughter was at uni and didn't want to move back to the UK and I knew much as I missed 'home' I would miss the US too.

Right now we are hoping to buy a place in Chester so I can visit more often.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 6:12 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by gypsygirl
We arent 100% yet, we are trying to see if its even possible! I can drive in the Uk so it would be much easier for me .
If you can drive in the UK why can't you drive here? In NJ you only have to take a written, multiple choice answer test.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 6:19 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

I went in and I have to take the whole thing again and give up my Uk licence.
The other problem here is we cant afford another car, the gas or anywhere worth going!
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 6:30 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by gypsygirl
I went in and I have to take the whole thing again and give up my Uk licence.
The other problem here is we cant afford another car, the gas or anywhere worth going!
You don't...try a different DMV office. You don't have to give up your UK licence too.

BTW even if you did have to take a driving test...my daughter's test was driving a couple of hundred yards in an empty car park. Then parking between 2 traffic cones about 100 yds apart. Come on...have you seen the drivers on NJ roads...do you think they could possibly pass any sort of vaguely difficult driving test?

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Jun 13th 2007 at 6:34 pm.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 6:37 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
You don't...try a different DMV office. You don't have to give up your UK licence too.

BTW even if you did have to take a driving test...my daughter's test was driving a couple of hundred yards in an empty car park. Then parking between 2 traffic cones about 100 yds apart. Come on...have you seen the drivers on NJ roads...do you think they could possibly pass any sort of vaguely difficult driving test?
Lol well you do have to dodge alot of deers!
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 6:56 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by gypsygirl
We are not great fans of England, but now we seem to see it differently and alot worked better there, even if we didnt like it!
I think I understand what 'chance to be' was getting at.
As its not like others who miss 'home' and have roots here as well, you didn't seem to like England.

So obvious question is, is there any chance of your OH getting a job in Wales, Scotland etc, houses are cheaper (mostly depends on area) or is it just London.
Could his skills be used in another job?

You say he it training to be a manager would that be a big increase, so you could afford repairs or move closer to the city or even get a transfer back to the UK and be able to afford London etc with 6 children, when he gets it?

Just trying to understand better
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 7:26 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Have you considered Canada at all. They have a health system better than the US some say. I can't speak from experience on that but Canada is a lot like the US in many respects. We tried to work in the US a few years ago (Anchorage) but was knocked back many many times and the red tape was a joke. But it would have been the same for us with regards to be able to work. I was being sponsored but my wife would be unable to work. Crazy way to do things. How long have you been out of the UK? We have been back over 2 years from NZ. The UK has changed a lot. Why not look to Oz or NZ. You are allowed to work with your sponsored spouse. Best of luck to you.
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Old Jun 13th 2007, 7:46 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of moving back to Uk, need your thoughts and advice!

Originally Posted by gypsygirl
They might, Im not sure but that would mean London and I cant see them paying for a place big enough for all 6 of us. I think we are stuck in red tape.
How old are your children gypsygirl? They would only need to pay for flights...they baby would be free...kids under 13 are special rate. They may give you an allowance towards housing/relocation costs.

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Jun 13th 2007 at 7:50 pm.
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