Woodpigeon

Hubby and I have finally booked flights for a trip home next year This will be our first time back in England since we came to NZ in 2003!

Unfortunately we will only have just over three weeks there due to annual leave contstraints and leaving the, mostly adult, kids on their own in NZ, and taking a stop over on the way back to NZ.

Background info We originally came out here for a one year experience, with me saying that I'd actually expect to stay for two, and for a max of five (you can see that didn't happen). I have wanted to move back since 6 months in, but for various reasons that hasn't happened. Our, now 18 year old, daughter has also wanted to go home pretty much continuously. She had a trip back over Christmas last year, and is still adamant that she wants to go back (just yesterday I heard her telling some friends that she plans to move back in three years, when she's finished uni). Hard to say what the two boys (20 & 16) feel, but earlier this year hubby made the comment that he couldn't see us ever moving back! Yes, I know that a serious family discussion really needs to be held, but the past 12 months have been unsettled for us with a couple of major health issues, and I just haven't been able to face it.

So what I'm after with this post is, what would you suggest we try to fit in during our visit? I want to try to get a feel for life in the UK as it is now, rather than as I remember it from 9 years ago. We will be staying with my mother in Devon, but will visit friends and relatives elsewhere in the West Country (not sure if we'll be able to fit in a visit to relatives elsewhere). Part of me just wants to walk down memory lane, take photos of my favourite areas, eat the food that I miss, stock up on decent quality clothes and shoes, but I also know that this might be my only chance to check out how life has changed in the UK, and to use what I find and experience to help me decide where my future lies.

I'm not sure which worries me most - that I will find that I really do want to move back, or that England now is too different and I will have to accept that I can't move back. Either way, this trip could result in me making some hard decisions.

Excited though

killerhales

Spend a few days in the big city rather than the picturesque spots of Devon. Maybe Bristol if you don't want to go too far?

For your 16 year old, if they also want to go to uni, watch out for the international fees. You have to be living in the UK for the three years prior to the uni course, unless you can demonstrate that your absence has been temporary.

Good luck.

NiHao

Its a really good question and I'm not sure that you can get a really accurate picture because at the end of the day it IS a vacation and you won't have any of the normal mundane day to day stuff going on that regular life brings.

Maybe have a friend let you tag along on chores like going to the bank, the postoffice, grocery shopping, school run, library, dog walking etc. just the day to day stuff. Maybe go and view a few houses that would be in your price range (be it rental price or mortgage) and see whether you think you could be comfortable there.

People watch, especially friends and family, try and get a feel of what their daily life is like and what you would like about it and what you would miss about NZ.

I wouldn't have thought it would have changed that much from when you lived there 9 year ago but it may be that you have changed a lot. I think you'll get a strong gut feeling one way or the other about whether its still home for you almost as soon as you step off the plane. Good luck and please let us know how it goes and what your feelings/thoughts are after/during your trip.

Sue

I'd highly recommend hiring a car so you can do your own thing. Honestly, the simple things like shopping alone in Asda/Tesco/Morrisons etc are one of the ways you will figure out prices and quality/availability of products. When you go with a friend you tend to not really get the opportunity to amble about on your own. I've found that I've got more of a real feel for things when I've had the chance to "go it alone" as it were.

Another tip, get family and friends to visit you at a central place (e.g. at the place you are staying) so that you will get days that you can go out and do things that you want to do, otherwise you end up racing around to said family/friends houses and have little time left over to get items done that are on your list. It is wonderful to visit family and friends, but as I've often noted over the years I've been on BE, (and from my own experience) family and friends tend to to expect you to visit them, even though you've already travelled thousands of miles to get to the UK in the first place . So hold firm, tell them where, and when, you are going to be somewhere and if they want to see you they've got to take the time to get to your location.

Woodpigeon

That's an idea, even if we just do a day trip into one of the cities I guess it would at least give us an idea of the current vibe, thanks.

The uni fees thing is part of why we're still in NZ, and why I don't expect to be able to move for another three years. Once our youngest has completed at least one year of uni I think I'd be happy to move back and leave him to finish on his own (though I suspect that our eldest son won't be bothered about moving back anyway). My main reason for agreeing to us all becoming NZ citizens was so that we would all be able to move between the two countries with ease as we want/need to.

Woodpigeon

All good ideas, thanks.

I think the thing that I'm most concerned about having changed is the economic downturn, jobs etc and the change in mix of ethnicity. Those are the three things that we hear most about from friends and family. I'm not sure how the ethnicity aspect would really effect me - NZ is a pretty big melting pot of worldwide nationalities and through my work here I interact with different cultures etc on a daily basis. But I know that it has been a big thing for my mother, and for friends who live in the eastern areas of the southwest, e.g. Taunton.

Like you say, we will have changed too; where we are in NZ is a pretty quiet place, so just experiencing a busier, faster pace of life again could well be a shock to the system!

I'll certainly update either during or after our trip (which is not until the middle of the year, but now I've actually managed to get hubby to make the commitment of buying tickets it is a reality to me, so I can let myself start to think about it)

Woodpigeon

One of the top items on my things to do list is to go supermarket shopping I can't believe that I'm actually looking forward to that! But yeah, I'm hoping to go with mum pretty much on our first day there, and then on our own during our stay. Mum doesn't drive much now so we'll have free use of her car so will be good and mobile

I'm also keen to see what the situation is now regarding local shops - I dream of greengrocers, butchers, and bakeries - not much in those lines down here.

And yes, I'm hoping not to spend too much time rushing round to see people (it's hubby who's thinking about going up north - his rellies up there, not mine!). Thankfully we have a small extended family, most of whom live near mum, and the others live so much further away that they wouldn't expect us to go to visit them (or at least wouldn't actually ask us to, and if you don't ask you don't get ). Most of our closest friends live no further east than the Somerset levels, and I have a couple of relatives in Wiltshire, so should be able to knock those all off in one burst of a few days (my big thing to do is to visit my grandparents' grave - one of the most upsetting things for me has been that I didn't do that before we moved; I didn't think it was necessary as we were only supposed to be away for a year or so )

Lorry1

Hi,

When I went back for a visit in August, I didn't really notice many people from different ethnic backgrounds. I was expecting to be the only white person walking the streets of London as that's the way it's made out to be in the news.
Coming from Canada, which is also a melting pot, I do not notice so much anymore.
I think for people who have never left England it is made to feel worse than it actually is. They read the newspaper or watch the TV and get caught up in it all. It doesn't actually affect them on a daily basis.
England is still full of Brits and I don't think that's ever going to change ( not sure if that's good or bad )

Good advice from everyone else though. Don't try and do too much or see too many people. My 2 weeks there was totally full running around seeing everyone. I didn't actually have a chance to do anything for myself and go off to explore.

sallysimmons

I'd bet that you'll find it a positive change, not a negative one. That was my experience anyway - for one thing, the different cultures have brought brilliant food with them!

There's a surprising amount of racism in the UK at the moment - well, I found it surprising but like you, I live in a big melting pot.

I second the advice about finding a central location and making everyone come to you. And when you feel guilty, bite that back. You simply can't fill up your time visiting people or you'll have no idea how real life will be.

I also agree with viewing some properties, talking to a few estate agents, going to the supermarket etc.

In many ways, England is exactly as it always was, the good and the bad.