Hi Everyone!
Well long story short, been here in the US for 10 years now came over to marry my wife who is a USC and still happily married. Currently reside in the Chicagoland area in a very nice, safe and boring suburb, but make the most of the city at weekends. Things have gone really well for me here since I arrived, bought a house have a rewarding and high paying job that I enjoy and have made some good friends and generally immersed myself in the US way of life……….however……â� ��¦â€¦for the last 6 months or so I have been incredibly homesick, more than any other time that I have been here. In the past it has been short and passes quickly but this time it won’t go away. It all started , or I noticed it at least, when my wife and I went to see Paul McCartney in concert in the summer, the following week I felt like I was about to burst into tears at any moment, which is not like me at all. The riots quelled the felling a little but then it rose back up until I went back for a visit 3 weeks ago. Went back for 2 weeks with the wife (for the first time together, I have been back twice on my own but was glad to get back to the US on those two occasions) and had a real vacation, North Wales, Edinburgh, Cambridge, London got to spend time alone as well as visit family and friends. Since coming back I know I want to return don’t really mind where to be honest but there are a few things I have to consider.

• Cost of living, disposable income – I say I don’t care about it, but am I being honest I can’t us having the same standard of living we enjoy in the US
• Getting a job before we move, I am not being sponsored to go back so need to find a job on my own, how difficult is getting a job whilst still being in the US, very I would think given the current 17 year high unemployment I was hearing about while I was over there.
• My wife’s ability to work and find a job given what seems to be some anti US feelings over there.
• My pets, they are too old to fly and I will never leave them, should I wait until they pass until I go back?

My wife is surprisingly open to the idea of going over there but is concerned about how much less she will make in her field (veterinarian) compared to the US and the anti US feeling bothers her a bit too.
It’s such a big decision and so much to consider, any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated or some feedback on others who have done it and regretted it or are glad they moved back.

Thanks

Wat2doo

I agree with you on the fact that standard of living in the US is far higher than the UK. This is because the cost of living is significantly lower here than in the UK. But I am not sure why you think there is anti-US feeling in the UK? I was there last year with my American wife and everyone was friendly to her and us. I believe media really makes things look far worse than they really are as sensationalizing an article helps them make more money. Agreed there are some negative feelings against Americans but you will always find a few bad apples wherever you are.

I guess that depends where you are in the US and where you go to in the UK. The cost of living where I am is far higher here than it will be when I move back home. Housing is about the same, petrol costs more in the UK, taxes are slightly higher there - but everything else is cheaper (healthcare, utilities, property taxes, tradesmen, entertainment etc.).

Of course salaries tend to be lower in the UK which makes a big difference.

To the OP, I feel for you regarding the pets. If they're too old to fly and you won't leave them, doesn't it follow that you have to wait? Or is there a chance they'd be OK to fly?

Of course, you could always take the Queen Mary and go in style!

As has been said, you can't generalize that UK cost of living is higher than US - check the thread on the US forum. It all depends on where you are talking about. Rural Tennessee and Huddersfield, low cost of living; New York and London high cost of living. You can't simply compare US to UK.

As for anti-US feeling, we only dislike one American, and he is no longer president.

When ARE dogs too old to fly? Sorry don't want to hijack your post!

BTW cost of living in Los Angeles is HIGH!

When I said cost of living in the US is lower in comparison to the UK, I was taking in account like for like. For a given profession: Like engineer, one would get nearly twice as much salary in the US for comparable location in both UK and US. Any other way of comparing will not be accurate. Only thing that I dislike in the US is the expensive medical insurance...one is safe as long as they have a job or really poor but if one is from the middle-class and out of work...then its tough to live in the US without medical insurance.

Cost of living in LA is very high but the salaries, for a given profession, are also relatively higher than other part of the US. But places like London, LA, NYC are, in my view, exceptional cities where the cost of living is way higher than most of the country.

But not everyone is an engineer (including the OP and his wife) - the same isn't true for all professions, so it is still a generalization that doesn't apply to all places, professions, (especially, as you said, when you consider professions that have to pay health insurance in the US), situations (e.g., retired - defined benefit UK pensions outstrip US defined contribution/self-selected investment), etc.

An engineer may make double the money, but depending where he lives that won't make him any better off than the UK, as dunrovin has pointed out.

I've read enough posts on this site to realize that some people are much better off financially in the US and some are better off in the UK. It all depends on individual circumstances.

I respect your view My comment was based on my personal experience as well as discussion with people I know in person (both engineers and non-engineers). For comparable locations in the UK and US (like for like), I feel US has a better cost of living. But my views excludes places like LA, NYC, London since these cities cost of living is extra-ordinarily higher than the average of both the countries. Eating out, electronics, gas (petrol) housing is relatively cheaper in the US than UK. UK although has fantastic public transportation but it is also very expensive. UK however, in my view, has superior medical system...I know a lot of people find NHS revolting but I personally feel that, ethically, providing health-care for the citizens is a right not a privilege as latter is the case here in the US. Fortunately we have a good coverage through my work but there are many that have no insurance and I think (I maybe wrong) most of the bankruptcy occurs in the US because of medical related reasons.

We were in the same boat as you there will always be pros and cons to staying and going. We are moving back to Scotland my home in the spring my American husband cannot wait he loves it there and has never felt any type of anti American feelings from anyone. He loves the fact that people are much more friendly than where we are in upstate NY.

As far as pets our dog will be 10 when we leave next year and we are taking the QM2 home it is easier for him to travel that way he is a very nervous dog. Also we get to see him every day during the trip home which he will love. Another bonus is you can take so much more luggage on the boat. It is a little more expensive than flying but not much. We did a lot of research into it and this is the best option for us.

As far as jobs we are staying with family until we find work. We have found it hard to find work from overseas because you cannot give exact dates of when you will be there and it is very unlikely they will hold a job for someone overseas with so much local unemployment. A friend of mine who went home last year had some good advice though to give a UK address as they will be much more likely to contact you but even so that does not always work. We have also thought of me going home first and getting work before he follows but I am confident we can find something once we go back. I have family I can work with until I find something so I am not worried about it.

At the end of the day if you go home you can always come back if you really find that you do not want to be there. Life is too short not to live it

Pretty amazing coincidence as we are planning to move around Spring ourself to Glasgow (Scotland) by QM2. Most likely it would be in March! Personally I found people here in Upstate NY (I live in Rochester) are very friendly just like in Glasgow. One thing I enjoy about Upstate is the optimism that is rare to find in Glasgow.

If you want to relocate it's best to has as little to hold you down as possible. So I wouldn't take ageing pets as they will make renting more difficult.

I typed homesick in the search and came up with this post. My sister has just gone back to UK after 3 weeks of holiday here and each time I say goodbye to someone close it has me questioning how much longer I can do this.
I am married to an American and although he first said he would move back to the UK when he retired, now he is a grand-dad I know that will never happen.
Homesickness is incredibly hard and I have no solution but get stuck back into normality here and deal with my life as best I can.
As to the poster of this, I have hijacked your post with my feelings as I don't want to be accused of bringing up a subject that has been discussed many times.
I will say, however, I was never of the impression that UK was anti-American. Whenever we visit my husband can't go anywhere without people asking him questions and telling him of their visits to USA and where they stayed, etc. I don't think that would be a down to going back home at all. I think you are lucky your wife is willing to go.
I have found when I holiday back home on my own, I am always ready to come back, but when my husband is with me, I don't want to leave.

I love this country and all it has to offer. I love the quality of life - and the people are friendly, but it isn't "home" and never will be.
Family aren't here and I miss them so much it hurts.

Sorry to hijack your post, but I needed to say this somewhere so that maybe I'll feel better.

Good luck on your move - and I wish that was me.

What's the alternative?

If you love your pets, you can't leave them behind, Yes, it will be harder to find a place to rent, but not impossible. The alternative is to wait until they pass on, which could be years from now, and miss out on life just to avoid a bit of hassle finding a place to live.