Telling the OH that I am not happy
Oct 17th 2010, 10:26 am
#76
The Brit is back
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
I really feel for you sickbrit and Lorry1. If your homesickness is anything like mine, and it sounds like it is, I just couldn't contemplate not leaving for 3 years or even next summer. I intend getting the hell out of here in early January and most days even this feels like a lifetime away.
You must have an inner strength that most just don't have. I wish you all the best.
You must have an inner strength that most just don't have. I wish you all the best.
Believe me, I have no inner strengh right now. If my daughter was younger I would be back on that plane tomorrow, but we are staying so she can finish school here. Also so my OH can get established in his new job enough to hopefully get a transfer to London when the time comes. OH won't even entertain the idea of going now, he just says it's not the right time with the economy etc.
I will wait, begrudgingly. I don't know how I am going to survive it as I feel so dead here, but I know it's best for all.
England will be there in 3 years time, and hopefully it will be a more settled England.
Good luck going home
Oct 17th 2010, 10:44 am
#77
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Near Kingston, Ontario
Posts: 1,323
Oct 21st 2010, 1:40 am
#78
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Formally Scotland. Now Bay of Quinte...Ontario
Posts: 2,466
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
Oct 25th 2010, 6:53 am
#79
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
Hi Sickbrit,
I totally understand how you are feeling, as I feel the same. If I could, I would get on a plane back to England today, but unfortunately that is not possible.
I hope things do work out for you and your wife. I fear she may resent you if she is leaving her daughter in Canada. This may cause problems further down the line. I really hope it doesn't though.
We too are waiting for my eldest to finish school here, which means waiting 3 years!
I fear she may not want to return with us and I really don't want to go without her. I don't think I could return if she were to stay here
My OH feels sick at the thought of returning. We, like thousands of others, ploughed our whole lives into this move. We sold everything and spent all our money doing it. We would have to start again in England.
I actually broke down last weekend. I was so stressed I was (literally) pulling my hair out!
We have spoke before about returning but this actually confirmed how I am feeling and now OH understands that we must go back, for my sanity!
I just spent the last weekend crying also, I fear that it will be like this for the next 3 years.
Good luck to you and I really hope it works out.
I totally understand how you are feeling, as I feel the same. If I could, I would get on a plane back to England today, but unfortunately that is not possible.
I hope things do work out for you and your wife. I fear she may resent you if she is leaving her daughter in Canada. This may cause problems further down the line. I really hope it doesn't though.
We too are waiting for my eldest to finish school here, which means waiting 3 years!
I fear she may not want to return with us and I really don't want to go without her. I don't think I could return if she were to stay here
My OH feels sick at the thought of returning. We, like thousands of others, ploughed our whole lives into this move. We sold everything and spent all our money doing it. We would have to start again in England.
I actually broke down last weekend. I was so stressed I was (literally) pulling my hair out!
We have spoke before about returning but this actually confirmed how I am feeling and now OH understands that we must go back, for my sanity!
I just spent the last weekend crying also, I fear that it will be like this for the next 3 years.
Good luck to you and I really hope it works out.
It may seem like a long time to wait but the time will pass now that you have a goal and you'll get to where you need to be if you work at it and keep telling yourself that it is what it is and it's not forever.
It's tough being in a place that's lost it's appeal, I suppose all of us know that when we're posting here. Just dig in and keep going and try not to piss your OH off with it all, that won't help either. You have to be a team.
Good luck, and stay strong.
Oct 25th 2010, 11:01 am
#80
Lost in Space
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Stockport, Cheshire, UK
Posts: 804
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
Hey Zed,
Believe me, I have no inner strengh right now. If my daughter was younger I would be back on that plane tomorrow, but we are staying so she can finish school here. Also so my OH can get established in his new job enough to hopefully get a transfer to London when the time comes. OH won't even entertain the idea of going now, he just says it's not the right time with the economy etc.
I will wait, begrudgingly. I don't know how I am going to survive it as I feel so dead here, but I know it's best for all.
England will be there in 3 years time, and hopefully it will be a more settled England.
Good luck going home
Believe me, I have no inner strengh right now. If my daughter was younger I would be back on that plane tomorrow, but we are staying so she can finish school here. Also so my OH can get established in his new job enough to hopefully get a transfer to London when the time comes. OH won't even entertain the idea of going now, he just says it's not the right time with the economy etc.
I will wait, begrudgingly. I don't know how I am going to survive it as I feel so dead here, but I know it's best for all.
England will be there in 3 years time, and hopefully it will be a more settled England.
Good luck going home
Oct 25th 2010, 11:22 am
#81
The Brit is back
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
aww thanks paranoid and lily, it's good to be able to let it all out to people who understand
The only person I can really talk to here is OH and he doesn't want to leave. I can't talk to my Canadian friends cos they'll think I'm nuts and probably never speak to me again
I can't talk to my British friends cos I feel like I'm constantly moaning and whinging
Anyway, thanks again and good luck to everyone else trying to get home!
The only person I can really talk to here is OH and he doesn't want to leave. I can't talk to my Canadian friends cos they'll think I'm nuts and probably never speak to me again
I can't talk to my British friends cos I feel like I'm constantly moaning and whinging
Anyway, thanks again and good luck to everyone else trying to get home!
Oct 25th 2010, 11:42 pm
#82
Just hanging around
Joined: May 2008
Location: Back in England
Posts: 1,447
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
When we decided to come back we were upfront about it, and sometimes I even said why -- that we wanted to explore what Britain and Europe have to offer and were rather bored with Canadian life. Some understood completely, some were puzzled but accepting, and if anyone was deeply offended, they kept it to themselves.
Most people understand valuing one's "home and native land". A lot of Canadians don't move far from where they were born and raised, or move back later.
Of course, I always praised Canada for its many qualities because there is a lot to like, and I always said we might return. Because it is possible, and it sounds better than implying one can't wait to escape from hell.
Bev
Oct 25th 2010, 11:47 pm
#83
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
aww thanks paranoid and lily, it's good to be able to let it all out to people who understand
The only person I can really talk to here is OH and he doesn't want to leave. I can't talk to my Canadian friends cos they'll think I'm nuts and probably never speak to me again
I can't talk to my British friends cos I feel like I'm constantly moaning and whinging
Anyway, thanks again and good luck to everyone else trying to get home!
The only person I can really talk to here is OH and he doesn't want to leave. I can't talk to my Canadian friends cos they'll think I'm nuts and probably never speak to me again
I can't talk to my British friends cos I feel like I'm constantly moaning and whinging
Anyway, thanks again and good luck to everyone else trying to get home!
Keep venting on here if it makes you feel better
Oct 25th 2010, 11:52 pm
#84
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
Are you sure?
When we decided to come back we were upfront about it, and sometimes I even said why -- that we wanted to explore what Britain and Europe have to offer and were rather bored with Canadian life. Some understood completely, some were puzzled but accepting, and if anyone was deeply offended, they kept it to themselves.
Most people understand valuing one's "home and native land". A lot of Canadians don't move far from where they were born and raised, or move back later.
When we decided to come back we were upfront about it, and sometimes I even said why -- that we wanted to explore what Britain and Europe have to offer and were rather bored with Canadian life. Some understood completely, some were puzzled but accepting, and if anyone was deeply offended, they kept it to themselves.
Most people understand valuing one's "home and native land". A lot of Canadians don't move far from where they were born and raised, or move back later.
Personally I keep my thoughts to myself around the American people that I don't know, the ones that I do already realise that I'm ready to move back.
Oct 26th 2010, 12:02 am
#85
The Brit is back
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
Are you sure?
When we decided to come back we were upfront about it, and sometimes I even said why -- that we wanted to explore what Britain and Europe have to offer and were rather bored with Canadian life. Some understood completely, some were puzzled but accepting, and if anyone was deeply offended, they kept it to themselves.
Most people understand valuing one's "home and native land". A lot of Canadians don't move far from where they were born and raised, or move back later.
Of course, I always praised Canada for its many qualities because there is a lot to like, and I always said we might return. Because it is possible, and it sounds better than implying one can't wait to escape from hell.
Bev
When we decided to come back we were upfront about it, and sometimes I even said why -- that we wanted to explore what Britain and Europe have to offer and were rather bored with Canadian life. Some understood completely, some were puzzled but accepting, and if anyone was deeply offended, they kept it to themselves.
Most people understand valuing one's "home and native land". A lot of Canadians don't move far from where they were born and raised, or move back later.
Of course, I always praised Canada for its many qualities because there is a lot to like, and I always said we might return. Because it is possible, and it sounds better than implying one can't wait to escape from hell.
Bev
Oct 26th 2010, 12:14 am
#86
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
When it's time to go I'll tell everyone, but until then I will put on my happy face and put up with it. A couple of times I have mentioned to my best Canadian friend that I am homesick and she thinks I'm crazy because it's so great here. She doesn't even like when I meet with British expats once a month as she thinks I'm not intergrating into canadian life and thats why I feel homesick.
As for her not liking it when you meet up with expat friends? Sounds like your mate isn't very understanding, or very considerate. Bet she's never even been out of canada, right?
Try suggesting that maybe she ought to try living overseas herself to develop an understanding of people's feelings, before she judges anyone for wanting to mix with people that share similar interests.
Oct 26th 2010, 6:00 am
#87
The Brit is back
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
Souunds familiar.
As for her not liking it when you meet up with expat friends? Sounds like your mate isn't very understanding, or very considerate. Bet she's never even been out of canada, right?
Try suggesting that maybe she ought to try living overseas herself to develop an understanding of people's feelings, before she judges anyone for wanting to mix with people that share similar interests.
As for her not liking it when you meet up with expat friends? Sounds like your mate isn't very understanding, or very considerate. Bet she's never even been out of canada, right?
Try suggesting that maybe she ought to try living overseas herself to develop an understanding of people's feelings, before she judges anyone for wanting to mix with people that share similar interests.
As well as moving all around Canada during her life, she has been out of Canada quite alot and actually lived in Prague for about a year when she was in her twenties. Her hubby is Cuban so he understands about leaving the homeland, but obviously his reasons were totally different to mine and once he left he could never go back!
I think she is just caring in her own way. We are pretty good friends and I think she just doesn't want me to go. I think she feels if I mix with Brits, I definately won't settle here.
Oct 26th 2010, 6:18 am
#88
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
Hi,
As well as moving all around Canada during her life, she has been out of Canada quite alot and actually lived in Prague for about a year when she was in her twenties. Her hubby is Cuban so he understands about leaving the homeland, but obviously his reasons were totally different to mine and once he left he could never go back!
I think she is just caring in her own way. We are pretty good friends and I think she just doesn't want me to go. I think she feels if I mix with Brits, I definately won't settle here.
As well as moving all around Canada during her life, she has been out of Canada quite alot and actually lived in Prague for about a year when she was in her twenties. Her hubby is Cuban so he understands about leaving the homeland, but obviously his reasons were totally different to mine and once he left he could never go back!
I think she is just caring in her own way. We are pretty good friends and I think she just doesn't want me to go. I think she feels if I mix with Brits, I definately won't settle here.
I'm not sure that her thinking is correct, but like you say she likes you and either she's trying to help and doesn't want you to feel unhappy, or she doesn't want you to leave. It's cool to have a friend like that. A lot of people have fun meeting with other Brits once a month or so, it's kind of nice to do that. As far as it not being constructive to you settling in to meet other expats? I think that's 2 seperate things
One won't necessarily hinder the other. Networking with other Brits and seeing how they cope with life in a foreign country is helpful to plenty of people... it has to be or so many of us wouldnt do it. How long have you been there anyway?
Yeah Cubans have a different outlook, the ones that are here have too. Once they manage to get out they're glad to be anywhere but there.
Oct 26th 2010, 6:27 am
#89
The Brit is back
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
I'm not sure that her thinking is correct, but like you say she likes you and either she's trying to help and doesn't want you to feel unhappy, or she doesn't want you to leave. It's cool to have a friend like that. A lot of people have fun meeting with other Brits once a month or so, it's kind of nice to do that. As far as it not being constructive to you settling in to meet other expats? I think that's 2 seperate things
One won't necessarily hinder the other. Networking with other Brits and seeing how they cope with life in a foreign country is helpful to plenty of people... it has to be or so many of us wouldnt do it. How long have you been there anyway?
Yeah Cubans have a different outlook, the ones that are here have too. Once they manage to get out they're glad to be anywhere but there.
Oct 26th 2010, 7:38 am
#90
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Telling the OH that I am not happy
