Sally Simpson

Well, that is how I interpreted it!

Twigstar

I think you are right and a lot of people who see us off at said leaving do's were probably thinking how mad are they giving all of this up etc etc but no-one and I mean no-one has the right to say how long is the appropiate length of time to give it.
As told on here many times some people know straight away it is not right for them and others like myself always have that niggly feeling but want to 'give it our best shot' and who knows how long that can take. Personaly I wish we had gone back within 6 mths of arriving, before all the money had been eaten away, we would be in a better position than we find ourselves in now that's for sure.

MademoiselleMtl

I agree with you....

It can be hard for others to relate to this but visiting somewhere and being in "vacation mode" is not the same as actually living somewhere.

I have come to the conclusion that there are some experiences one must live through personally to actually understand. Despite one's best efforts to explain the trials and tribulations of living in a new country others may not get it which can leave you feeling very misunderstood!

Sally Simpson

Quite right, well said!

Jay Bird

Hi Twigstar
OH and I are nearly 60 and on the verge of returning (again) to the UK. My parents are in their late 80's, my daughter is 30 this month; I have two siblings, and I so want to go back and live near them all again. I want to be able to hug them when I want or phone them without looking at the clock to see what time it is for them. We've no house, no job......but we have family! It's taken this second time for me to realise what is truly important in (my) life - and that's the people I love. I have friends in England who have never moved off their street in 35 years! They've never travelled any further than Yorkshire on a day trip. Now that's what you call a narrow life. Give me mine and my head full of memories - good and bad - every time. You're like me - life is an adventure, and this is just another chapture in it.

Yes, it's taken a lot of money and time and effort to criss cross the Atlantic......who cares? I don't, and neither should anyone else! Those who stand around judgung other peoples actions obviously don't have enough to occupy themselves!

phil01

I understand what you mean but then you should think SOD YOU!

I am leaving New Zealand, not because I dislike the country but because I want to go back to the UK. Been here under 2 years and don't consider it a failure at all. It was exciting all the planning, the moving, settling into a new life, new culture but now I've had enough and am choosing to go back to the UK! It's my choice I could stay in NZ so that people don't see me as a failure or I can do as I want go back and let them snipe as much as they like.

I agree other people will see it as...well it didn't work out, or they failed to make a go of it but that is usually down to jealousy because you have done something they are too afraid to do. We got here, we got residency, we worked, we fitted in, we changed ourselves and now we are choosing to go back...purely personal choice.

Most important lesson learnt for us...couldn't give a to** what anyone else thinks...am looking forward to going back to the UK but already planning a holiday home in either Spain or Florida...and I suppose that is another lesson learnt...we like our lives in the UK but also still have that need of adventure...lost count of how many times I have heard 'you don't know what you want'

Well I do I want to make the most of my life, and if that means a bit of adventure, trying something new, enjoying property buying in the sun with the knowledge I have my little piece of the UK then so be it.

Don't let the critics stop you from living the way you want to live, do exactly what you want, the reality is they watch on with envy because they daren't try it themselves.

phil01

Ditto both of you and good on you!

That's how we see life, I have siblings with fab houses still in the same village they were born in. Whereas I have lived in Oz, Germany, NZ and the UK and hopefully have plenty more adventures to come...after all when your gone some other bugger will own the house anyway!

quoll

I would never think of leaving as a failure and if others do, well that's their problem. When we were young we lived in PNG, UK and then Aus. We have sort of become stuck here now and the fact that DH is an Aussie means that he doesnt want to leave but I want to go home. I have been here so long that everyone would think that I am "at home" here but I am not and have never been. Ever since I have been here I have had a sense of "on holiday" and you can have too much holiday and need to go "home" eventually. In some ways I wish we had made the decision to move away from here when we were at the change point in our lives after 4 years here (DH finishing a scholarship to study) but we didnt and I regret that immensely now. So, whatever you do, dont let yourself get stuck in something that you dont really want to be in!

You only have one life and you need to make the most of what comes your way - if you dont like what you try then you can try something new. Some of my family live within 5 miles of the village they were born in and have probably not been more than 20 miles away from the place in the last 40 years. Their kids have never been out of the county! If that's what suits them well that's up to them. Personally I dont regret coming here although i do regret being forced to stay.

KLF

Out of interest, have you tried a new life in the 5 countries listed in your signature?

yellowbrickroad

the word failure is open to interpretation.

what it means to one person is different to another.

I personally dont judge myself or others based upon this assumption because we all view the word failure differently.

If you view having moved to Aus and you dont like it as a failure, then thats your opinion and your entitled to it. I dont see it like that, rather.... its an adventure..... each to their own.

manc1

Quote, quoll. although i do regret being forced to stay.

I would rethink this quoll. You never have to do anything you do not want to. If your desire is strong enough to return, then you will return.

quoll

Much as I would like to think that - contemplating the alternative of departing without my DH of 35 years would be very traumatic no matter what would lead to it. He isnt going to move and if I forced him to, he would be in the situation I am in now so one of us loses. As it is, he is to some extent compromising because he wants to go out and be self sufficient in some god forsaken bush location. On balance, Canberra has to be better than a composting loo out in the fly ridden middle of nowhere with no running water and no mains electricity! (See, I am counting my blessings!!) Going home every year is also in our compromise (and if he has to keep working to keep me in the manner to which I have become accustomed even though semi retired then he has agreed to do that!)

guest5234

No, I have worked in all countries for siemens and moved to S.Africa and Oz as they are massive in both Countries to try and make them my home.

KLF

And where are you now?

katesbackagain

My mum's reaction when I told her I was moving here to be with my (now) husband was that I was crazy, and she was convinced it was just a phase. Naturally, she was worried. Over the years, though, she saw that I was serious, and also happy, so she never said a word.

When I told her that I'm now unhappy with a lot of things here, she's not once said "I told you so" because she's been here in person to see for herself that I gave it my all, but now under certain circumstances, it's just not suitable for me anymore. My family is massive, and I know when I do go back, I'll have at least one person calling me mental that I'd want to go back to the UK, but I don't care. It's where my real home is, and life isn't all rainbows and roses just because the sun shines 90% of the year. I think when they really look at how much I've aged because of the stress I've been under over the last year or so, they'll be like, "F**k that, I wouldn't wanna live in the US!" I know bad situations can happen no matter where you are, but if you don't have the support available that you've been used to, it can really knock the wind out of you. I can talk on the phone all I want, but it's not the same. I've felt very isolated here, and my mum can see that by how often I've been calling her lately.