nutgrove

Speaking of which, I wish the OP (RCullen) would provide us with some comments back to let us know how they are thinking & if they've made a decision 'go-no-go' based on the feedback here so far!

rcullen

There's a difference between a straight answer and an out and out rude one. Unfortunately it appears that common courtesy is becoming less and less the norm dingbat and as such I see you have adopted the idea that courtesy is surplus to requirements. Shall we say it´s not always what someone says, but how they say it.

Thankfully there have been one or two members who have offered more insight and moreso I´ve actually posted on a different ex pats forum where the posters seem to be less judgemental and more helpful.

As for the post from "nutgrove", freeloading would assume that I had not been contributing in any form, as mentioned before, I have spent my time assisting family with their own work while they were not able to do so due to medical issues which believe me has not been easy. Are the (a) Unsensitive (b) rude terms and (c) invalid terms really necessary when responding to someones post? It does not make for a welcoming introduction. While I do appreciate the helpful advice imparted in one or two of your posts, a decision like this and situation that I find myself in does not make me the best recipient of sarcasm and accusations. I can only assume this is something common relating to living in canada as both you and dingbat appear to be (although my apologies if this is an incorrect assumption).

So please let me take this opportunity to thank all of the people who offered helpful and most importantly friendly advice (dingbat you are most definately excluded from this list) but I shall not be making more than one or two more visits to this forum...

nutgrove

well now ... shocked I am & all you could do was to pick out the "freeloading" bit

After all the effort of at least trying to help you, all I get is gobsmack comments back

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do & leave it at that shall we on extremely sensitive terms

BTW, helping ones ailing parents is forever a childs duty & responsibility & I would be interested to know what they are going to do or how they are going to cope should you leave

Jules Europe

This is actually a very relevant point to this whole debate.

Jules Europe

I think Nutgrove has given you some good advice, with a lot of good links to check out and get you started.

As for posters being judgemental, well given that society as a whole is judgemental, this should really come as no surprise to you.

Where in Spain are you based?

aes1

Just found these posts, very interesting. Did we ever find out if rcullen was male or female? Not that it matters..............I agree society as a whole is judgemental, but on the other hand, it's all perspective, aren't we just being honest? BTW something I sooooo miss out here in the US where people in general are too worried about being failures and losing self esteem to speak the truth, unlike us thick skinned, upfront, downright English folks! (I am from the North originally so speak for Northerners only!) Anyway, I think people who think they are being judged when they read these posts are taking them way too personally and that's their problem alone. That is some big ego and insecurity deal if anyone thinks their character can be judged by a complete stranger! Not that I am the most secure person in the world!

nutgrove

only when it suits some, then folks like me get gobsmacked for being up front & trying to be helpful (my downfall)

not to confuse being "thick skinned" with being 'as thick as a brick'

could not resist that

Sometimes, I wish that I was a born Brit. My only claim to anything British is my Mum, Hubby & having lived a childhood (58-66) just outside Liverpool

Age has its merits

Insecure is my observation of RCullen & lets leave it at that

aes1

Well said. And smart woman for marrying a Brit!!!