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The Plan
I suppose I'm writing this so I can update on the way, and look back along the way, however, after long discussions with my husband over the weekend, the agreement is to move back over to Scotland at some stage. I can see the benefits of Brisbane and have enjoyed getting to know the area (and further afield), however for many reasons Scotland just feels more at home - I can't imagine living here forever (Australia) and just want to put proper roots back down in Scotland. I won't go into full (personal) reasons at the moment, perhaps later down the track, it all feels a bit raw I guess. Currently making a saving plan and keeping an eye on BREXIT (what will or won't happen) which may change things, but at the moment the plan is to move. Nothing will happen until at least the end of this year.
Not a decision we've taken lightly, at all, in fact the absolute opposite - many many many discussions over a course of a year (it's coming up for two years here now). Me ignoring how I was feeling and trying to smile, not complain, see the good in every situation and get on with it for the benefit of my husband who enjoys it here. I know how lucky we were to have the option to work and live in different countries, something millions would probably love but never achieve. The thing is, I can see the good here, there are lots of lovely things about the place, it's just not a place where I can see as good for us "forever". My husband has also said it's not a 'forever' place however he would have liked to have spent more time here (four to five years minimum). We did discuss the possibility of moving to another place, perhaps interstate however it would just feel like a sideways step, a stepping stone and why spend the savings moving somewhere else in Australia, rather than back to Scotland. Gosh, I'm getting all upset now. I wish I had felt differently. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Perhaps I came over with rose coloured glasses. I hid my feelings as I guess I didn't want to come across as ungrateful (which I'm definitely not) and thinking only of myself. Time to think of what is best for our little family. A really hard decision, made with many PRO's and CON's lists made, scratched out and started again. Tears, smiles and repeat. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps a bit cathartic, please forgive my ramblings. I have read a few others stories on here and trying to feel positive. I understand how much of an upheaval it is. I know there are massive costs involved. I also ponder what is the price of happiness. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12617232)
I suppose I'm writing this so I can update on the way, and look back along the way, however, after long discussions with my husband over the weekend, the agreement is to move back over to Scotland at some stage. I can see the benefits of Brisbane and have enjoyed getting to know the area (and further afield), however for many reasons Scotland just feels more at home - I can't imagine living here forever (Australia) and just want to put proper roots back down in Scotland. I won't go into full (personal) reasons at the moment, perhaps later down the track, it all feels a bit raw I guess. Currently making a saving plan and keeping an eye on BREXIT (what will or won't happen) which may change things, but at the moment the plan is to move. Nothing will happen until at least the end of this year.
Not a decision we've taken lightly, at all, in fact the absolute opposite - many many many discussions over a course of a year (it's coming up for two years here now). Me ignoring how I was feeling and trying to smile, not complain, see the good in every situation and get on with it for the benefit of my husband who enjoys it here. I know how lucky we were to have the option to work and live in different countries, something millions would probably love but never achieve. The thing is, I can see the good here, there are lots of lovely things about the place, it's just not a place where I can see as good for us "forever". My husband has also said it's not a 'forever' place however he would have liked to have spent more time here (four to five years minimum). We did discuss the possibility of moving to another place, perhaps interstate however it would just feel like a sideways step, a stepping stone and why spend the savings moving somewhere else in Australia, rather than back to Scotland. Gosh, I'm getting all upset now. I wish I had felt differently. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Perhaps I came over with rose coloured glasses. I hid my feelings as I guess I didn't want to come across as ungrateful (which I'm definitely not) and thinking only of myself. Time to think of what is best for our little family. A really hard decision, made with many PRO's and CON's lists made, scratched out and started again. Tears, smiles and repeat. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps a bit cathartic, please forgive my ramblings. I have read a few others stories on here and trying to feel positive. I understand how much of an upheaval it is. I know there are massive costs involved. I also ponder what is the price of happiness. How you're feeling is very common for expats, but that doesn't take anything away from the strength or 'realness' of those feelings. I think that you and your husband have been very sensible, you've had many discussions and given Australia enough time to feel like home if it's ever going to at this stage of your lives. You also haven't fallen into the trap of finding things to hate about Australia, it's surprising how many people do this in an attempt to feel better or more certain about their decision to return home. Unfortunately, such thoughtfulness and honesty can be temporarily confusing and mar the anticipation of going home. You and your husband haven't made this decision on a whim, and now that you've made it I'd encourage you to get excited :D All any of us can do is make the best decisions we can at the time, and that's exactly what you've done. Good on you for getting to this stage! Never hesitate to have a chat about these things on BE, many of us have been in similar situations so can at least provide an empathic ear and some support. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12617232)
I suppose I'm writing this so I can update on the way, and look back along the way, however, after long discussions with my husband over the weekend, the agreement is to move back over to Scotland at some stage. I can see the benefits of Brisbane and have enjoyed getting to know the area (and further afield), however for many reasons Scotland just feels more at home - I can't imagine living here forever (Australia) and just want to put proper roots back down in Scotland. I won't go into full (personal) reasons at the moment, perhaps later down the track, it all feels a bit raw I guess. Currently making a saving plan and keeping an eye on BREXIT (what will or won't happen) which may change things, but at the moment the plan is to move. Nothing will happen until at least the end of this year.
Not a decision we've taken lightly, at all, in fact the absolute opposite - many many many discussions over a course of a year (it's coming up for two years here now). Me ignoring how I was feeling and trying to smile, not complain, see the good in every situation and get on with it for the benefit of my husband who enjoys it here. I know how lucky we were to have the option to work and live in different countries, something millions would probably love but never achieve. The thing is, I can see the good here, there are lots of lovely things about the place, it's just not a place where I can see as good for us "forever". My husband has also said it's not a 'forever' place however he would have liked to have spent more time here (four to five years minimum). We did discuss the possibility of moving to another place, perhaps interstate however it would just feel like a sideways step, a stepping stone and why spend the savings moving somewhere else in Australia, rather than back to Scotland. Gosh, I'm getting all upset now. I wish I had felt differently. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Perhaps I came over with rose coloured glasses. I hid my feelings as I guess I didn't want to come across as ungrateful (which I'm definitely not) and thinking only of myself. Time to think of what is best for our little family. A really hard decision, made with many PRO's and CON's lists made, scratched out and started again. Tears, smiles and repeat. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps a bit cathartic, please forgive my ramblings. I have read a few others stories on here and trying to feel positive. I understand how much of an upheaval it is. I know there are massive costs involved. I also ponder what is the price of happiness. We went back to England at least once a year and my Mum would also visit us . Going home this year was different and the reason was I did not want to come back to the US. of course I had to, but all I kept thinking about was I want to be in England. Hubby was not really keen but willing to do what ever made me Happy so here we are waiting for his spousal visa. i quit my job we sold our house, sent the dog to England a head of us and now we are just waiting. Not sure what we will do if he is denied the visa. its an emotional rollercoaster for sure. You have made a great start and you have amazing people on this forum who can help when and if you need help . Good luck 🀠|
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
(Post 12617251)
Good on you for having the courage to write that down, it'll help to get it out and it'll be good to look back on when you're happily home in Scotland again.
How you're feeling is very common for expats, but that doesn't take anything away from the strength or 'realness' of those feelings. I think that you and your husband have been very sensible, you've had many discussions and given Australia enough time to feel like home if it's ever going to at this stage of your lives. You also haven't fallen into the trap of finding things to hate about Australia, it's surprising how many people do this in an attempt to feel better or more certain about their decision to return home. Unfortunately, such thoughtfulness and honesty can be temporarily confusing and mar the anticipation of going home. You and your husband haven't made this decision on a whim, and now that you've made it I'd encourage you to get excited :D All any of us can do is make the best decisions we can at the time, and that's exactly what you've done. Good on you for getting to this stage! Never hesitate to have a chat about these things on BE, many of us have been in similar situations so can at least provide an empathic ear and some support. Yes, a decision borne from many a conversation. Me trying to make it work - happy smiley face and trying to be involved as much as possible but all the while knowing deep down it's not somewhere I could stay forever. I guess I feel the longer you do stay somewhere perhaps the harder to leave. I do need to think about our wee one. She turned four end last year so will be in Kindy here this month but obviously back in Scotland she would start school in August this year. Quite a difference. I suppose people move all the time. She would be going into P1 starting 6-7 months 'behind'. Anyone had experience with this? Anything I can do to help her transition? (we do numbers and letters at home and she's keen to learn 'science' apparently) :lol: So much to think about. Thanks again for your supportive positive words. They've helped a lot. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Sammy2018
(Post 12617275)
First I send you a 🤗 hug and secondly I feel the same way now and I have been here in the USA for 30 years. I have loved my life here and feel very fortunate to have met amazing people , traveled and worked for great companies. We went back to England at least once a year and my Mum would also visit us . Going home this year was different and the reason was I did not want to come back to the US. of course I had to, but all I kept thinking about was I want to be in England. Hubby was not really keen but willing to do what ever made me Happy so here we are waiting for his spousal visa. i quit my job we sold our house, sent the dog to England a head of us and now we are just waiting. Not sure what we will do if he is denied the visa. its an emotional rollercoaster for sure. You have made a great start and you have amazing people on this forum who can help when and if you need help . Good luck 🀠|
Re: The Plan
What a relief to hear we are not alone, after nearly 13 years being in the middle east and my wife going through cancer and lupus in the UAE we decided to move for a fresh start to another middle east country , soon after I personally realized that I hated the job I was doing and the healthcare that we needed here was not available . I got myself depressed feeling if I talked to my wife she would feel let down and I was unable to raise the subject of the constant homesickness and the wanting of changing profession , must be middle age crisis I thought lol .
Once the ice was broken after a few drinks one evening the wife confessed she had wanted to go home for years and we both felt a massive relief , so here we are planning to move back home Brexit or no Brexit , no job , empty house that has been rented out for 13 years and will need completely renovating , no car , wont have furniture for 6 weeks and 3 cats to transport home haha I can honestly say we have never been happier and are so excited for the new start , the wife is in her element online window shopping for the redecorating and I only wish I had really really sat her down and asked what she wanted to do earlier. All the best and I truly hope the move goes well for everyone on the thread . Now im rambling once I started I could not stop haha |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Charlie12345
(Post 12618066)
What a relief to hear we are not alone, after nearly 13 years being in the middle east and my wife going through cancer and lupus in the UAE we decided to move for a fresh start to another middle east country , soon after I personally realized that I hated the job I was doing and the healthcare that we needed here was not available . I got myself depressed feeling if I talked to my wife she would feel let down and I was unable to raise the subject of the constant homesickness and the wanting of changing profession , must be middle age crisis I thought lol .
Once the ice was broken after a few drinks one evening the wife confessed she had wanted to go home for years and we both felt a massive relief , so here we are planning to move back home Brexit or no Brexit , no job , empty house that has been rented out for 13 years and will need completely renovating , no car , wont have furniture for 6 weeks and 3 cats to transport home haha I can honestly say we have never been happier and are so excited for the new start , the wife is in her element online window shopping for the redecorating and I only wish I had really really sat her down and asked what she wanted to do earlier. All the best and I truly hope the move goes well for everyone on the thread . Now im rambling once I started I could not stop haha It’s exciting to start a new chapter in our lives. Good luck 🀠|
Re: The Plan
It's never an easy decision.
After 10 years in the USA with a young family, 4 kids under 8, and a seemingly great life......it's time for us to move back. When we made the decision, it was a huge relief, but now I'm scared, impatient, anxious, a LOT has to happen in the next 6 months to facilitate the move and just want to be back "home". |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Wilto
(Post 12618133)
It's never an easy decision.
After 10 years in the USA with a young family, 4 kids under 8, and a seemingly great life......it's time for us to move back. When we made the decision, it was a huge relief, but now I'm scared, impatient, anxious, a LOT has to happen in the next 6 months to facilitate the move and just want to be back "home". We are now just waiting for the visa decision and then it’s book a flight. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Wilto
(Post 12618133)
It's never an easy decision.
After 10 years in the USA with a young family, 4 kids under 8, and a seemingly great life......it's time for us to move back. When we made the decision, it was a huge relief, but now I'm scared, impatient, anxious, a LOT has to happen in the next 6 months to facilitate the move and just want to be back "home". Of course you're going to feel every emotion under the sun, we're all human on here (I think :p ) and moving countries is such a big thing physically, emotionally and spiritually (probably). As spouse of scouse put it earlier, it can also make things harder if you don't hate where you are. You question the whys and what ifs more I think rather than having a 'I NEED to get out of here pronto' plan. Write down what scares you, why are you anxious - what can you control? Look at the positives and remember the reasons you made to want to move, I'm sure they're still there. Yes, there is lots to do, why wouldn't there be! Just make a master list against dates and tick things off as you go. You'll probably be surprised at how quickly the time disappears. Don't wish your time away, you'll probably be finding towards move date you wish you had a bit extra time to do x, y and z. At the very least you know what? It's OK to be feeling every emotion and it's certainly OK to not feel you fit where you are in the world. You are not alone. Everyone who feels this way (myself included) - let's keep supporting each other on this thread and keep the positivity up. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Sammy2018
(Post 12618148)
Know the feeling one thing we did not anticipate was our house going under contract after 2 days on the market. We closed on 12/28/18 We are now just waiting for the visa decision and then it’s book a flight. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Charlie12345
(Post 12618066)
What a relief to hear we are not alone, after nearly 13 years being in the middle east and my wife going through cancer and lupus in the UAE we decided to move for a fresh start to another middle east country , soon after I personally realized that I hated the job I was doing and the healthcare that we needed here was not available . I got myself depressed feeling if I talked to my wife she would feel let down and I was unable to raise the subject of the constant homesickness and the wanting of changing profession , must be middle age crisis I thought lol .
Once the ice was broken after a few drinks one evening the wife confessed she had wanted to go home for years and we both felt a massive relief , so here we are planning to move back home Brexit or no Brexit , no job , empty house that has been rented out for 13 years and will need completely renovating , no car , wont have furniture for 6 weeks and 3 cats to transport home haha I can honestly say we have never been happier and are so excited for the new start , the wife is in her element online window shopping for the redecorating and I only wish I had really really sat her down and asked what she wanted to do earlier. All the best and I truly hope the move goes well for everyone on the thread . Now im rambling once I started I could not stop haha You will be back before you know it and busy having fun redecorating your house to make it your home again. Have fun making it all about you and your wife! Don't worry about rambling - I seem to be the Queen of it ha! Ramble away and all the very best. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12618473)
Wow that's amazing! Well done. What a relief to have that sorted so quickly. Who do you think you'll fly with?
I would like non stop but not sure that will happen. One thing we are sure of is we will be seeing the family and our dog on the other side of the pond. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Sammy2018
(Post 12618479)
We have no clue right now and not even sure what the options will be. As soon as the visa is in hand we will be booking a flight. I would like non stop but not sure that will happen. One thing we are sure of is we will be seeing the family and our dog on the other side of the pond. |
Re: The Plan
Just as a continuation from my first post in this thread, I'm going to write the things I'm looking forward to seeing and doing again (or doing for the first time) back in Scotland.
Feel free to write yours down if you want |
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