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The Plan
I suppose I'm writing this so I can update on the way, and look back along the way, however, after long discussions with my husband over the weekend, the agreement is to move back over to Scotland at some stage. I can see the benefits of Brisbane and have enjoyed getting to know the area (and further afield), however for many reasons Scotland just feels more at home - I can't imagine living here forever (Australia) and just want to put proper roots back down in Scotland. I won't go into full (personal) reasons at the moment, perhaps later down the track, it all feels a bit raw I guess. Currently making a saving plan and keeping an eye on BREXIT (what will or won't happen) which may change things, but at the moment the plan is to move. Nothing will happen until at least the end of this year.
Not a decision we've taken lightly, at all, in fact the absolute opposite - many many many discussions over a course of a year (it's coming up for two years here now). Me ignoring how I was feeling and trying to smile, not complain, see the good in every situation and get on with it for the benefit of my husband who enjoys it here. I know how lucky we were to have the option to work and live in different countries, something millions would probably love but never achieve. The thing is, I can see the good here, there are lots of lovely things about the place, it's just not a place where I can see as good for us "forever". My husband has also said it's not a 'forever' place however he would have liked to have spent more time here (four to five years minimum). We did discuss the possibility of moving to another place, perhaps interstate however it would just feel like a sideways step, a stepping stone and why spend the savings moving somewhere else in Australia, rather than back to Scotland. Gosh, I'm getting all upset now. I wish I had felt differently. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Perhaps I came over with rose coloured glasses. I hid my feelings as I guess I didn't want to come across as ungrateful (which I'm definitely not) and thinking only of myself. Time to think of what is best for our little family. A really hard decision, made with many PRO's and CON's lists made, scratched out and started again. Tears, smiles and repeat. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps a bit cathartic, please forgive my ramblings. I have read a few others stories on here and trying to feel positive. I understand how much of an upheaval it is. I know there are massive costs involved. I also ponder what is the price of happiness. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12617232)
I suppose I'm writing this so I can update on the way, and look back along the way, however, after long discussions with my husband over the weekend, the agreement is to move back over to Scotland at some stage. I can see the benefits of Brisbane and have enjoyed getting to know the area (and further afield), however for many reasons Scotland just feels more at home - I can't imagine living here forever (Australia) and just want to put proper roots back down in Scotland. I won't go into full (personal) reasons at the moment, perhaps later down the track, it all feels a bit raw I guess. Currently making a saving plan and keeping an eye on BREXIT (what will or won't happen) which may change things, but at the moment the plan is to move. Nothing will happen until at least the end of this year.
Not a decision we've taken lightly, at all, in fact the absolute opposite - many many many discussions over a course of a year (it's coming up for two years here now). Me ignoring how I was feeling and trying to smile, not complain, see the good in every situation and get on with it for the benefit of my husband who enjoys it here. I know how lucky we were to have the option to work and live in different countries, something millions would probably love but never achieve. The thing is, I can see the good here, there are lots of lovely things about the place, it's just not a place where I can see as good for us "forever". My husband has also said it's not a 'forever' place however he would have liked to have spent more time here (four to five years minimum). We did discuss the possibility of moving to another place, perhaps interstate however it would just feel like a sideways step, a stepping stone and why spend the savings moving somewhere else in Australia, rather than back to Scotland. Gosh, I'm getting all upset now. I wish I had felt differently. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Perhaps I came over with rose coloured glasses. I hid my feelings as I guess I didn't want to come across as ungrateful (which I'm definitely not) and thinking only of myself. Time to think of what is best for our little family. A really hard decision, made with many PRO's and CON's lists made, scratched out and started again. Tears, smiles and repeat. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps a bit cathartic, please forgive my ramblings. I have read a few others stories on here and trying to feel positive. I understand how much of an upheaval it is. I know there are massive costs involved. I also ponder what is the price of happiness. How you're feeling is very common for expats, but that doesn't take anything away from the strength or 'realness' of those feelings. I think that you and your husband have been very sensible, you've had many discussions and given Australia enough time to feel like home if it's ever going to at this stage of your lives. You also haven't fallen into the trap of finding things to hate about Australia, it's surprising how many people do this in an attempt to feel better or more certain about their decision to return home. Unfortunately, such thoughtfulness and honesty can be temporarily confusing and mar the anticipation of going home. You and your husband haven't made this decision on a whim, and now that you've made it I'd encourage you to get excited :D All any of us can do is make the best decisions we can at the time, and that's exactly what you've done. Good on you for getting to this stage! Never hesitate to have a chat about these things on BE, many of us have been in similar situations so can at least provide an empathic ear and some support. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12617232)
I suppose I'm writing this so I can update on the way, and look back along the way, however, after long discussions with my husband over the weekend, the agreement is to move back over to Scotland at some stage. I can see the benefits of Brisbane and have enjoyed getting to know the area (and further afield), however for many reasons Scotland just feels more at home - I can't imagine living here forever (Australia) and just want to put proper roots back down in Scotland. I won't go into full (personal) reasons at the moment, perhaps later down the track, it all feels a bit raw I guess. Currently making a saving plan and keeping an eye on BREXIT (what will or won't happen) which may change things, but at the moment the plan is to move. Nothing will happen until at least the end of this year.
Not a decision we've taken lightly, at all, in fact the absolute opposite - many many many discussions over a course of a year (it's coming up for two years here now). Me ignoring how I was feeling and trying to smile, not complain, see the good in every situation and get on with it for the benefit of my husband who enjoys it here. I know how lucky we were to have the option to work and live in different countries, something millions would probably love but never achieve. The thing is, I can see the good here, there are lots of lovely things about the place, it's just not a place where I can see as good for us "forever". My husband has also said it's not a 'forever' place however he would have liked to have spent more time here (four to five years minimum). We did discuss the possibility of moving to another place, perhaps interstate however it would just feel like a sideways step, a stepping stone and why spend the savings moving somewhere else in Australia, rather than back to Scotland. Gosh, I'm getting all upset now. I wish I had felt differently. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Perhaps I came over with rose coloured glasses. I hid my feelings as I guess I didn't want to come across as ungrateful (which I'm definitely not) and thinking only of myself. Time to think of what is best for our little family. A really hard decision, made with many PRO's and CON's lists made, scratched out and started again. Tears, smiles and repeat. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps a bit cathartic, please forgive my ramblings. I have read a few others stories on here and trying to feel positive. I understand how much of an upheaval it is. I know there are massive costs involved. I also ponder what is the price of happiness. We went back to England at least once a year and my Mum would also visit us . Going home this year was different and the reason was I did not want to come back to the US. of course I had to, but all I kept thinking about was I want to be in England. Hubby was not really keen but willing to do what ever made me Happy so here we are waiting for his spousal visa. i quit my job we sold our house, sent the dog to England a head of us and now we are just waiting. Not sure what we will do if he is denied the visa. its an emotional rollercoaster for sure. You have made a great start and you have amazing people on this forum who can help when and if you need help . Good luck 🀠|
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
(Post 12617251)
Good on you for having the courage to write that down, it'll help to get it out and it'll be good to look back on when you're happily home in Scotland again.
How you're feeling is very common for expats, but that doesn't take anything away from the strength or 'realness' of those feelings. I think that you and your husband have been very sensible, you've had many discussions and given Australia enough time to feel like home if it's ever going to at this stage of your lives. You also haven't fallen into the trap of finding things to hate about Australia, it's surprising how many people do this in an attempt to feel better or more certain about their decision to return home. Unfortunately, such thoughtfulness and honesty can be temporarily confusing and mar the anticipation of going home. You and your husband haven't made this decision on a whim, and now that you've made it I'd encourage you to get excited :D All any of us can do is make the best decisions we can at the time, and that's exactly what you've done. Good on you for getting to this stage! Never hesitate to have a chat about these things on BE, many of us have been in similar situations so can at least provide an empathic ear and some support. Yes, a decision borne from many a conversation. Me trying to make it work - happy smiley face and trying to be involved as much as possible but all the while knowing deep down it's not somewhere I could stay forever. I guess I feel the longer you do stay somewhere perhaps the harder to leave. I do need to think about our wee one. She turned four end last year so will be in Kindy here this month but obviously back in Scotland she would start school in August this year. Quite a difference. I suppose people move all the time. She would be going into P1 starting 6-7 months 'behind'. Anyone had experience with this? Anything I can do to help her transition? (we do numbers and letters at home and she's keen to learn 'science' apparently) :lol: So much to think about. Thanks again for your supportive positive words. They've helped a lot. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Sammy2018
(Post 12617275)
First I send you a 🤗 hug and secondly I feel the same way now and I have been here in the USA for 30 years. I have loved my life here and feel very fortunate to have met amazing people , traveled and worked for great companies. We went back to England at least once a year and my Mum would also visit us . Going home this year was different and the reason was I did not want to come back to the US. of course I had to, but all I kept thinking about was I want to be in England. Hubby was not really keen but willing to do what ever made me Happy so here we are waiting for his spousal visa. i quit my job we sold our house, sent the dog to England a head of us and now we are just waiting. Not sure what we will do if he is denied the visa. its an emotional rollercoaster for sure. You have made a great start and you have amazing people on this forum who can help when and if you need help . Good luck 🀠|
Re: The Plan
What a relief to hear we are not alone, after nearly 13 years being in the middle east and my wife going through cancer and lupus in the UAE we decided to move for a fresh start to another middle east country , soon after I personally realized that I hated the job I was doing and the healthcare that we needed here was not available . I got myself depressed feeling if I talked to my wife she would feel let down and I was unable to raise the subject of the constant homesickness and the wanting of changing profession , must be middle age crisis I thought lol .
Once the ice was broken after a few drinks one evening the wife confessed she had wanted to go home for years and we both felt a massive relief , so here we are planning to move back home Brexit or no Brexit , no job , empty house that has been rented out for 13 years and will need completely renovating , no car , wont have furniture for 6 weeks and 3 cats to transport home haha I can honestly say we have never been happier and are so excited for the new start , the wife is in her element online window shopping for the redecorating and I only wish I had really really sat her down and asked what she wanted to do earlier. All the best and I truly hope the move goes well for everyone on the thread . Now im rambling once I started I could not stop haha |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Charlie12345
(Post 12618066)
What a relief to hear we are not alone, after nearly 13 years being in the middle east and my wife going through cancer and lupus in the UAE we decided to move for a fresh start to another middle east country , soon after I personally realized that I hated the job I was doing and the healthcare that we needed here was not available . I got myself depressed feeling if I talked to my wife she would feel let down and I was unable to raise the subject of the constant homesickness and the wanting of changing profession , must be middle age crisis I thought lol .
Once the ice was broken after a few drinks one evening the wife confessed she had wanted to go home for years and we both felt a massive relief , so here we are planning to move back home Brexit or no Brexit , no job , empty house that has been rented out for 13 years and will need completely renovating , no car , wont have furniture for 6 weeks and 3 cats to transport home haha I can honestly say we have never been happier and are so excited for the new start , the wife is in her element online window shopping for the redecorating and I only wish I had really really sat her down and asked what she wanted to do earlier. All the best and I truly hope the move goes well for everyone on the thread . Now im rambling once I started I could not stop haha It’s exciting to start a new chapter in our lives. Good luck 🀠|
Re: The Plan
It's never an easy decision.
After 10 years in the USA with a young family, 4 kids under 8, and a seemingly great life......it's time for us to move back. When we made the decision, it was a huge relief, but now I'm scared, impatient, anxious, a LOT has to happen in the next 6 months to facilitate the move and just want to be back "home". |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Wilto
(Post 12618133)
It's never an easy decision.
After 10 years in the USA with a young family, 4 kids under 8, and a seemingly great life......it's time for us to move back. When we made the decision, it was a huge relief, but now I'm scared, impatient, anxious, a LOT has to happen in the next 6 months to facilitate the move and just want to be back "home". We are now just waiting for the visa decision and then it’s book a flight. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Wilto
(Post 12618133)
It's never an easy decision.
After 10 years in the USA with a young family, 4 kids under 8, and a seemingly great life......it's time for us to move back. When we made the decision, it was a huge relief, but now I'm scared, impatient, anxious, a LOT has to happen in the next 6 months to facilitate the move and just want to be back "home". Of course you're going to feel every emotion under the sun, we're all human on here (I think :p ) and moving countries is such a big thing physically, emotionally and spiritually (probably). As spouse of scouse put it earlier, it can also make things harder if you don't hate where you are. You question the whys and what ifs more I think rather than having a 'I NEED to get out of here pronto' plan. Write down what scares you, why are you anxious - what can you control? Look at the positives and remember the reasons you made to want to move, I'm sure they're still there. Yes, there is lots to do, why wouldn't there be! Just make a master list against dates and tick things off as you go. You'll probably be surprised at how quickly the time disappears. Don't wish your time away, you'll probably be finding towards move date you wish you had a bit extra time to do x, y and z. At the very least you know what? It's OK to be feeling every emotion and it's certainly OK to not feel you fit where you are in the world. You are not alone. Everyone who feels this way (myself included) - let's keep supporting each other on this thread and keep the positivity up. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Sammy2018
(Post 12618148)
Know the feeling one thing we did not anticipate was our house going under contract after 2 days on the market. We closed on 12/28/18 We are now just waiting for the visa decision and then it’s book a flight. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Charlie12345
(Post 12618066)
What a relief to hear we are not alone, after nearly 13 years being in the middle east and my wife going through cancer and lupus in the UAE we decided to move for a fresh start to another middle east country , soon after I personally realized that I hated the job I was doing and the healthcare that we needed here was not available . I got myself depressed feeling if I talked to my wife she would feel let down and I was unable to raise the subject of the constant homesickness and the wanting of changing profession , must be middle age crisis I thought lol .
Once the ice was broken after a few drinks one evening the wife confessed she had wanted to go home for years and we both felt a massive relief , so here we are planning to move back home Brexit or no Brexit , no job , empty house that has been rented out for 13 years and will need completely renovating , no car , wont have furniture for 6 weeks and 3 cats to transport home haha I can honestly say we have never been happier and are so excited for the new start , the wife is in her element online window shopping for the redecorating and I only wish I had really really sat her down and asked what she wanted to do earlier. All the best and I truly hope the move goes well for everyone on the thread . Now im rambling once I started I could not stop haha You will be back before you know it and busy having fun redecorating your house to make it your home again. Have fun making it all about you and your wife! Don't worry about rambling - I seem to be the Queen of it ha! Ramble away and all the very best. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12618473)
Wow that's amazing! Well done. What a relief to have that sorted so quickly. Who do you think you'll fly with?
I would like non stop but not sure that will happen. One thing we are sure of is we will be seeing the family and our dog on the other side of the pond. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Sammy2018
(Post 12618479)
We have no clue right now and not even sure what the options will be. As soon as the visa is in hand we will be booking a flight. I would like non stop but not sure that will happen. One thing we are sure of is we will be seeing the family and our dog on the other side of the pond. |
Re: The Plan
Just as a continuation from my first post in this thread, I'm going to write the things I'm looking forward to seeing and doing again (or doing for the first time) back in Scotland.
Feel free to write yours down if you want |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12618472)
It's a big move, huge! However, I saw someone write somewhere a really good point. If someone removed the option for you to return or either country how would you feel (I've not done the quote justice, will try to see if I can find the thread). If you would feel really devastated that you couldn't not 'return' how would that make you feel? The answer lies there!
Of course you're going to feel every emotion under the sun, we're all human on here (I think :p ) and moving countries is such a big thing physically, emotionally and spiritually (probably). As spouse of scouse put it earlier, it can also make things harder if you don't hate where you are. You question the whys and what ifs more I think rather than having a 'I NEED to get out of here pronto' plan. Write down what scares you, why are you anxious - what can you control? Look at the positives and remember the reasons you made to want to move, I'm sure they're still there. Yes, there is lots to do, why wouldn't there be! Just make a master list against dates and tick things off as you go. You'll probably be surprised at how quickly the time disappears. Don't wish your time away, you'll probably be finding towards move date you wish you had a bit extra time to do x, y and z. At the very least you know what? It's OK to be feeling every emotion and it's certainly OK to not feel you fit where you are in the world. You are not alone. Everyone who feels this way (myself included) - let's keep supporting each other on this thread and keep the positivity up. We made the move and achieved the American dream, and it will always be here for us if things don't work out. However, somethings don't last for ever. My grandparents who grew up during the WW2 are ailing and I want the kids to be around them during their last years and to experience their stories and memories like I did. My parents have just retired and want nothing more than to be involved in the kids lives. I miss going to the rugby every Saturday with my dad and brother. Shoot so much to look forward to I can almost feel it! |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Wilto
(Post 12618493)
Thanks love! Keep it positive, the time will fly by.
We made the move and achieved the American dream, and it will always be here for us if things don't work out. However, somethings don't last for ever. My grandparents who grew up during the WW2 are ailing and I want the kids to be around them during their last years and to experience their stories and memories like I did. My parents have just retired and want nothing more than to be involved in the kids lives. I miss going to the rugby every Saturday with my dad and brother. Shoot so much to look forward to I can almost feel it! |
Re: The Plan
I wrote post #16 before seeing post #15!!
I'm drinking some Islay scotch tonight, am not scottish but stay true to my celtic roots! - Taking a trip to Dublin and Edinburgh for a Welsh rugby game - Taking the kids to their first Eisteddfod (huge Welsh cultural arts festival) - Playing in the snow (no snow in Florida!) - My identical twins spending time with their great-grandma and sister who are also identical twins - Getting the grandparents historical outlook, stories and memoires on videos, to preserve for the next generations of our family - The comfort of mum and dads house on a cold wet sunday afternoon - Supporting my brother through a difficult time in his life - Taking the kids to the family sheep farm to see the house that my grandmother grew up in and has remained in our family for 100s of years. |
Re: The Plan
We have a cant wait to do list already
Step foot into the house not been in for 8 years Go for walks along side the local canal all wrapped up on frosty mornings Enjoy the Yorkshire country side and greenery ( no more sand seen enough lol ) Go shopping in Morrison's and buy a HAM joint and all the things we cant get here Go to a local pub for lunch and a pint of beer , not had a draught bitter in nearly 13 years only sell lager cans here and of course FISH AND CHIPS Snow cant forget snow 8 years again since we have seen snow The list is endless |
Re: The Plan
Oh how did I forget to write this to see my big Sister and spend a weekend on her canal boat its been 13 long years and we both miss her dearly
All the nieces and nephews we have never met in person And finally to see a doctor that understands what we are saying in English |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Charlie12345
(Post 12618601)
We have a cant wait to do list already
Step foot into the house not been in for 8 years Go for walks along side the local canal all wrapped up on frosty mornings Enjoy the Yorkshire country side and greenery ( no more sand seen enough lol ) Go shopping in Morrison's and buy a HAM joint and all the things we cant get here Go to a local pub for lunch and a pint of beer , not had a draught bitter in nearly 13 years only sell lager cans here and of course FISH AND CHIPS Snow cant forget snow 8 years again since we have seen snow The list is endless |
Re: The Plan
To keep it balanced, here' the things I'll miss about not living in Australia. These things may exist in the UK also of course, but just my experience here:-
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Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12619851)
. I really enjoy it here in Australia and I really enjoy it back in Scotland. I just know personally where I feel 'at home'.
I think it's really healthy that you acknowledge there are things you'll miss about living in Oz, I've seen quite a few people on BE who've fallen into a bit of a hole when they return to the UK after living in another country. It's not that they're unhappy with being back home in the UK, and in many instances being back is everything they thought it would be. It's just that in their understandable eagerness to return home, they didn't realise that in their efforts to be a part of their new country they'd made connections and put put down roots. That's not the contradiction it may sound like - it's entirely possible (and shows great strength of character) to become part of a local and wider community while still feeling and knowing that it's not really home. Unless living in the country you migrated to was an entirely horrible experience, there will be things you'll miss. Realising this before returning home rather than when you're back helps smooth the adjustment. I think you're doing great! |
Re: The Plan
Excellent advise, I certainly knew there would be things I would miss about Australia as I had that insite when we first arrived in WA, some of the things I missed about the UK even surprised me lol...we treated our return to the UK as a new adventure and treated it like another migration...as we had changed and so had the UK whilst we were away. From experience no matter the name or where the country is..if it feels like home...your on to a winner. All the best
|
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
(Post 12619916)
And that is the crux of it and all that really matters, that where you live feels like home.
I think it's really healthy that you acknowledge there are things you'll miss about living in Oz, I've seen quite a few people on BE who've fallen into a bit of a hole when they return to the UK after living in another country. It's not that they're unhappy with being back home in the UK, and in many instances being back is everything they thought it would be. It's just that in their understandable eagerness to return home, they didn't realise that in their efforts to be a part of their new country they'd made connections and put put down roots. That's not the contradiction it may sound like - it's entirely possible (and shows great strength of character) to become part of a local and wider community while still feeling and knowing that it's not really home. Unless living in the country you migrated to was an entirely horrible experience, there will be things you'll miss. Realising this before returning home rather than when you're back helps smooth the adjustment. I think you're doing great! It's was a very strange feeling - after spending over 16 years in Scotland I really thought I would feel 'at home' in Australia, where I was born and lived for my childhood/teenage/early adult life (albeit it I had never lived in Queensland before (hardly visited)). Not that I didn't feel 'at home' in Scotland, there was just always the 'what if what if' inner dialogue going on. It was a big surprise to me when I realised the reason for my unhappiness here was due to feeling it was not "home". It's hard to put into words, but I know many people understand. I don't hate Australia by any stretch, there is so much to love! I am glad we moved here and tried this out, something so many would love to do and will never get the chance. It's such an amazing thing to be able to freely live and work in more than one country. Sometimes I think, in life, it's better to give something a good go and know what is not for you, rather than think something 'may be' ... that probably doesn't make sense - but it does to me ;) I've been busy this weekend applying for jobs, hopefully a great full/part time one will appear soon. I think I've completed every type of selection criteria under the sun now! At least I can cut and paste (with a few tweaks) into new applications. Off to see what else I can apply for. Thanks again for your uplifting positive messages. Hope you're feeling all settled again now? |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by brits1
(Post 12619958)
we treated our return to the UK as a new adventure and treated it like another migration...as we had changed and so had the UK whilst we were away.
|
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12621009)
This. You can't go back - no one can 'go back'. Back doesn't exist! It'll be a new experience and towns, cities, countries, people etc. change constantly. Sure, some things may remain the same but overall, there are always big changes - which is a good thing, we evolve, we try to "better".
Just wanted to thank you for posting the original thread, it’s really helped to know that there are other people grappling with the decision to move. My husband is British, I’m American and our kids are dual citizens. Hubby has lived here for almost 20 years. We have established roots in the US, but both of us have been feeling the longing to move to UK very strongly for about 2 years now. And we’ve gotten more serious about it in the last 6 months. As with you, we aren’t taking this decision lightly and are fully aware of the pros and cons and the enormity of such a move; financially, emotionally etc. But the feeling hasn’t gone away. We just had a conversation with family over in the UK today about moving back and it didn’t go so well. Their good intention is to get us to think about all the ramifications, mostly cost of things, but I feel like it set me back and was very negative. Surely, it would be so easy to just stay in the US, where things are stable. We don’t have jobs lined up as of yet in the UK. I know we’re taking a massive risk moving, but we both aren’t happy here in the US, and feel we are better suited to a life in the UK. So many other factors are going into a potential move, that are too long to list here. The back and forth of making a final decision is SO hard. Thanks for reading |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by pendledreams5
(Post 12628296)
hi Still game, Just wanted to thank you for posting the original thread, it’s really helped to know that there are other people grappling with the decision to move. My husband is British, I’m American and our kids are dual citizens. Hubby has lived here for almost 20 years. We have established roots in the US, but both of us have been feeling the longing to move to UK very strongly for about 2 years now. And we’ve gotten more serious about it in the last 6 months. As with you, we aren’t taking this decision lightly and are fully aware of the pros and cons and the enormity of such a move; financially, emotionally etc. But the feeling hasn’t gone away. We just had a conversation with family over in the UK today about moving back and it didn’t go so well. Their good intention is to get us to think about all the ramifications, mostly cost of things, but I feel like it set me back and was very negative. Surely, it would be so easy to just stay in the US, where things are stable. We don’t have jobs lined up as of yet in the UK. I know we’re taking a massive risk moving, but we both aren’t happy here in the US, and feel we are better suited to a life in the UK. So many other factors are going into a potential move, that are too long to list here. The back and forth of making a final decision is SO hard. Thanks for reading |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
(Post 12617251)
Good on you for having the courage to write that down, it'll help to get it out and it'll be good to look back on when you're happily home in Scotland again.
How you're feeling is very common for expats, but that doesn't take anything away from the strength or 'realness' of those feelings. I think that you and your husband have been very sensible, you've had many discussions and given Australia enough time to feel like home if it's ever going to at this stage of your lives. You also haven't fallen into the trap of finding things to hate about Australia, it's surprising how many people do this in an attempt to feel better or more certain about their decision to return home. Unfortunately, such thoughtfulness and honesty can be temporarily confusing and mar the anticipation of going home. You and your husband haven't made this decision on a whim, and now that you've made it I'd encourage you to get excited :D All any of us can do is make the best decisions we can at the time, and that's exactly what you've done. Good on you for getting to this stage! Never hesitate to have a chat about these things on BE, many of us have been in similar situations so can at least provide an empathic ear and some support. |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by UkWinds5353
(Post 12628386)
:goodpost:
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Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Sammy2018
(Post 12628334)
It can be a tough decision but eventually you will make a decision!! |
Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by pendledreams5
(Post 12628296)
hi Still game, Just wanted to thank you for posting the original thread, it’s really helped to know that there are other people grappling with the decision to move. My husband is British, I’m American and our kids are dual citizens. Hubby has lived here for almost 20 years. We have established roots in the US, but both of us have been feeling the longing to move to UK very strongly for about 2 years now. And we’ve gotten more serious about it in the last 6 months. As with you, we aren’t taking this decision lightly and are fully aware of the pros and cons and the enormity of such a move; financially, emotionally etc. But the feeling hasn’t gone away. We just had a conversation with family over in the UK today about moving back and it didn’t go so well. Their good intention is to get us to think about all the ramifications, mostly cost of things, but I feel like it set me back and was very negative. Surely, it would be so easy to just stay in the US, where things are stable. We don’t have jobs lined up as of yet in the UK. I know we’re taking a massive risk moving, but we both aren’t happy here in the US, and feel we are better suited to a life in the UK. So many other factors are going into a potential move, that are too long to list here. The back and forth of making a final decision is SO hard. Thanks for reading Good for you re writing pros and cons and considering all angles. It's a big decision after all. Regarding your family - sorry but it's up to you and your immediate family. Sure if there was one gravely ill parent/close relative left I can understand but otherwise, nope. That may sound harsh and I don't mean it to, it is lovely after all to have family and friends who want you to be nearby and be part of their lives. But the decision is yours. Do your research, yes it will be expensive, yes there will be hard days, yes you will challenge your choices over and over again but if it's right, it will be right in the long run. You're able to move freely between the two places - how lucky is that - if you really turn over every stone you can and the decision is still to move then why not. |
Re: The Plan
An update for me. I have a job interview! Don't want to get too excited however I have literally applied for hundreds and hundreds of jobs. Jobs I can do (and can provide proof of experience) but never getting a response. Day after day for a year now, writing cover letters, tweaking the CV, responding to every type of selection criteria that is out there. Sure this job isn't something I would say is a first, second or third choice but get a job, I must, so I'm delighted to receive an invite to interview and fingers cross I'll suit them and they'll suit me. :-)
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Re: The Plan
Originally Posted by Still Game
(Post 12629643)
An update for me. I have a job interview! Don't want to get too excited however I have literally applied for hundreds and hundreds of jobs. Jobs I can do (and can provide proof of experience) but never getting a response. Day after day for a year now, writing cover letters, tweaking the CV, responding to every type of selection criteria that is out there. Sure this job isn't something I would say is a first, second or third choice but get a job, I must, so I'm delighted to receive an invite to interview and fingers cross I'll suit them and they'll suit me. :-)
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